jessgnc

The struggle is real - I get so sick of hearing that the surgery is a tool... but is is very true

I would postpone only so you can get " more ready" for success once the restriction is less and more reliance on your food choices

I know where you are now - and if you go ahead, I can guarantee you will lose some weight- but if you truly want to get to goal weight - you may need to get more control over food choices

Can I ask if you are walking or doing any activities while on

Talk with a therapist. It is my guess that you are sabotaging yourself. There is a reason deep down you are doing this and your need to meet this issue head on before you have surgery. Surgery isn't a cure, but a tool, as I'm sure you know. Getting your head right about food is the other big part. Also, talk with your RD. Are you tracking your food intake? Write every bite down. Every bite - including tasting for seasoning while you are cooking. That might provide you with some insight as to where things are going wrong.
Best of luck

I still hate the flavor and texture, but I've at least gotten used to it. I'll chew it up into small chunks, avoiding my tongue and immediately chase it with Water and a Calcium chew to get as little of the flavor as possible.

It's not ideal, but it works.

Tl;dr: Husband says he supports me. Actions speak louder than words and his actions are screaming otherwise. What should I do?
Let me preface this post with a note. My husband is wonderful. Our relationship is healthy and happy, and while I’d change some things, they are tiny things like biting his nails, nothing substantial. We have been together in some form for 14 years and while he might come off in a negative light in this post, that isn’t who he is.
There was a small hiccup and despite being told I was approved earlier in the week, I was actually REALLY approved yesterday. My husband and I were discussing the news last night.
My husband has been against this surgery since the day I told him. When I initially began looking into it, I sat on telling him for nearly 3 months, making sure it was what I wanted before I told him. He is amazing at arguing a point and I didn’t want to have my mind changed unless his arguments were amazing. Once he realized I was in this 100%, he told me that he didn’t agree with the decision, but he’d support me completely and be there for me.
I…I don’t feel that he has. He hasn’t gone to a single support meeting with me, though I have asked him to. He went to one doctor’s visit, but that was after I browbeat and begged him to come. My first visit had been a disaster. The entire waiting room was filled with patients and +1’s. I was literally the only person that day who was there alone. I actually broke down crying when the nurse took me back. Having him there the second visit made a world of difference for me and my mental health, and I think it helped him understand that while he has issues, this surgery is about as safe as many others and I am a great candidate.
I feel unable to talk to him about the topic. If I broach it, he discusses it as pleasantly as possible, but his body language just screams “I DON’T AGREE WITH THIS.”
After telling him my good approval news, I asked him point blank if this was the right choice, mostly hoping to allay my anxiety. He let out a really drawn out sigh and then told me he still didn’t think it was and that I was making a lifetime commitment for cosmetic reasons. I explained again that while the cosmetic thing was a nice bonus, this was being done so I could live a long and healthy life without major health issues. His reply was “well those years at the end would suck anyway.” He also argued that instead of taking pills for being sick, I’d take pills to remain healthy. I tried to argue the difference between taking Vitamins vs taking insulin or heart medication, but as mentioned above, he’s REALLY good at arguing a point, so I let it go.
To be fair, the blame on asking him a direct question and getting a direct answer is on me. I don’t begrudge him telling me the truth. It just really hurt to hear him say it. This is happening. He knows this is happening. He has voiced his concerns multiple times and I’ve tried to quell them by using science and facts. Would it really hurt for him to give me little white lies when he knows this is an inevitability? I asked him if he’d visit me when I was recovering at the hospital and when he asked how long I’d be there and I told him probably a day and a half, he said “Yeah, I’d have to pick you up and drop you off anyway.” That…that’s kind of crushing to hear. You guess you might drop in on your wife? For someone who claims to support me and my decision 100%, that feels oddly unsupportive. It would be nice to wake up and see him there. My friends have already told me to tell them when I’d be in the hospital so they can visit. Meanwhile, I have to ask my husband to make an appearance?
At the end of the conversation, he said “we’ll figure this out.” Honestly, I almost cried. He said WE, not me. I pointed out how nice it felt to hear him as being on the same team and he ruined the moment by saying “well, I don’t have much of a choice, do I?”
The moment he said “we” instead of singling me out felt amazing, like we were a team and I had my partner and best friend on my side. This is a huge undertaking and it would be amazing to have him there instead of dragging his feet.
I don’t know what to do guys. Am I reading too much into all of this? For as long as I have known him, he has always been very outspoken against elective surgery. I’m healthy (now) and this isn’t medically necessary (yet). I’m just not going to be able to convince him that this is the right decision for me unless I have a serious medical condition related to weight happen. I’m not waiting for my body to break before I make repairs. If he says he supports me, should I take it at face value? Should I stop bothering him with this and keep him out of the loop? The friends I have told have been wonderful, should I just rely on them and not bother him with this?

Watermelon - where does it fit in? It isn't high in Protein, but can you count it towards Water intake (since it is naturally flavored water, technically)? What stage would it fall under? You need to chew it but it melts in your mouth - does that qualify as the mushy stage?
I'm honestly just curious. I plan on sticking to what my doctor and nutritionists tell me, but I had a piece of watermelon yesterday and got to wondering what stage it would be a viable option.

Watermelon - where does it fit in? It isn't high in Protein, but can you count it towards Water intake (since it is naturally flavored water, technically)? What stage would it fall under? You need to chew it but it melts in your mouth - does that qualify as the mushy stage?
I'm honestly just curious. I plan on sticking to what my doctor and nutritionists tell me, but I had a piece of watermelon yesterday and got to wondering what stage it would be a viable option.

I'll admit ignorance before going all in on surgery. I thought it was cheating too. It wasn't until diet and exercise failed due to a broken body that I finally understood that not everyone's body works the same way. My husband has a friend who switched to diet soda and lost 150lbs. Seriously. He would go on and on about how easy it was to lose weight, as he'd eat an entire box of Cereal in one sitting. My husband nearly had to physically restrain me on multiple occasions. Meanwhile, I'd be measuring out my food, running, doing situps and busting my ass and not losing an ounce.

Eventually I realized that surgery is a tool. I used to compare my weight journey to a wall. No matter how hard I punched it or banged my head against it, it wasn't budging. Bringing surgery to the wall is the equivalent of getting a wrecking ball. There's no shame in using a crutch when you break your leg, or hearing aids to hear. There shouldn't be any judgement when you get assistance to lose weight either.
It is endlessly frustrating to listen to people call it cheating, but they just don't know any better - they never had to struggle like most of us did.

Thanks for the disclaimer, it's hard to read things online without context! No rudeness detected.
I didn't really explain wanting him there fully, I mostly brushed past it. We have different work schedules. I made sure to make the appointments when he wouldn't be at work so he could come if he was willing. I didn't need him at every appointment, but this was a huge undertaking for me and having him just OFFER to go (even if he hadn't gone) instead of avoiding it every time would have made a huge difference. I had to browbeat him into going. When I asked him to go initially. his reply was "I already told you I support you. Isn't that enough ?Why do I need to be there?" Had I been faster on my feet, my reply would have been "because actions speak louder than words."
As for not being scared...I am scared. This is a huge and life changing thing. I'd be foolish to not admit fear. He has been my rock for everything else in life (and I have been the same for him). To hide this one aspect feels like lying by omission. That's why I wanted to talk to him about it. I guess you and I are different people. You were strong enough to go on your own, I needed someone there at least once for moral support.

@jessgn
Yes, it is! That is so awesome, we'll get to meet in person then! I'm excited too because I don't know anyone out there yet, met a few people at meetings but don't see them every time.
I saw you post on the fb page, I recognized your picture. I'm sending you a fb friend request!

I was actually coming on to see if you had any updates. Woo! We can roam the halls in our flashy hospital gowns together.
I am actually really excited to have a buddy in all of this. Congratulations on getting to the final stage.
Is your final nutrition class also this Wednesday?

I got my surgery date today, May 31! I'm so glad to finally have a date!
@jessgnc it looks like we will be surgery buddies after all!

@OutsideMatchInside Thanks for reading the post.

It'll be a modified DS, so more of a RNY and VSG mixed together. He's keeping a longer intestinal track so there is more room for absorption. There is medical reason there (see above). I was all gung ho for the VSG initially. As for not doing the RNY, that's being avoided for personal reasons. My mother had an RNY and while I know rationally that she did everything wrong, I still am terrified to get the same procedure after watching her almost die multiple times due to surgery complications (and then having no success - again, entirely due to her being a bad patient).

Oh totally. I went to a surgeon. A surgeon is going to want to cut people open. A surgeon with a specialty is going to want to do his specialty. I've been doing a ton of research into the options though. I was totally against a DS when he brought it up at our initial appointment. Since then (around late November) I've educated myself on the topic as much as possible and DO feel this is the best option for me. He told me I could pick any of them but recommended the DS. I came to the decision on my own after extensive research though.

I appreciate everyone's input in trying to talk me out of this selection, but I'm confident in which surgery I am picking. The question is if I should be doing ANY of this right now. But as OutsideMatch said, this is cold feet. You're totally right. It still is scary though!

@OutsideMatchInside - I love love LOVE how you phrased it like that. Suddenly all of my dumb fears are alleviated by you pretty much rephrasing the question . Thank you!

Hey y'all.
Now that I have a date, this is real and I'm stupidly beginning to second guess myself. I know this is dumb behavior, but I kind of just need to ask this in the hopes that I'm not alone and someone else can quell my nerves.

I've mentioned on here before that I'm in perfect health - just 130lbs overweight! Right now, I'm healthy. I'm not on medication, I'm normally active (I currently have a broken foot so I'm less active right now unfortunately), my blood pressure and cholesterol, are normal, I'm not a diabetic, etc.
So I guess the question is - are there any other people on here, pre or post op who got the DS when they were still healthy?
This is such an extreme surgery. I'm nervous that doing this is the equivalent of chopping off my toe when all I did is stub it. I'm hoping there are 1 or 2 people on here who were also healthy beforehand, had the surgery and are glad they did. The people in my support groups who are getting it are almost all in wheelchairs, coming from the hospital, diabetics, etc. I am SO SO SO happy for them, but that isn't the situation I am in and not having anyone to relate to is making me feel like I'm taking the nuclear option when it isn't necessary.

I just got off of the phone with my insurance company. I was approved the first time around in barely 3 business days!

This entire thing has been so surreal. I'm not sure if other people go through life like this, but for me, I know major events are coming but they don't really register as happening to me until something kicks me and I fully realize it. Going to nutrition classes, getting all of my prerequisites done, etc...I knew those all served a purpose, but I think getting the official approval made me realize that THIS IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING.
I don't have any regret or anxiety. I was worried that when this started to get real, I'd talk myself out of it. I'm just giddy that I was approved to have life altering surgery!
I suspect the next wave of realization will come as they dress me in my hospital blues. Hopefully I'll still be excited and only normal levels of nervous then!

@OutsideMatchInside - I love love LOVE how you phrased it like that. Suddenly all of my dumb fears are alleviated by you pretty much rephrasing the question . Thank you!

I was in your shoes. I was the "healthiest" obese person. If I continued on the path I was on I would have developed all those things within a year. So I decided surgery would help me. As I sat in the waiting room hooked up to all the pre op ivs, I turned to my family member and said if they don't take me in the next hour we are outta here because the second guesses kicked in. Almost a year later I am very happy I did the surgery. It's not easy some days. I miss some of my old habits but I love my new habits and healthier Active life :-)

I am like you, no diabetes not even close, low cholesteole, low blood pressure and so on. I am actually having the RNY and have zero doubt, but it took me some years to get to that point. I am done, I know for sure I can't do this without this help. I am sick and tired of fighting my body and trying over and over again with little results. Oh I forgot, I do have one thing but it is not caused by obesity, I have a hypothyroidism. And that made everything even harder. I want to do this BEFORE I start having problems, because believe me they will come here sooner or later. And btw I am exactly the same height as you and I am 268lb (122kg) I am literally about explode with excitement for my surgery wich will be 13th june.

Sorry I can't answer anything about the DS, the DS is not done at all in my country.

AHH YAY!!!
Mine didn't have the date thing, just a window of approval which was April something through 6 months from now to get it done.
My pre-op starts on the 24th (I have the 1 week plan). My final nutrition class is on 5/10, I plan on buying everything then. I have a container of vanilla Protein Powder and about 3 dozen Premier Proteins (I've been using them for Breakfast for the past 2 months), but I figure I'll just stock up when I can look at things.
Your poor son! That's a hoot.

WOOHOO! High fives all around!!
I think the 5/22 is when your approval is officially begins to be valid, then you have a 6 month window to get it done. I have a different insurance though, so I'm not sure how yours works. I could be completely wrong!
I'm such a huge dork. I want you to go on 5/31 too so we can be surgery buddies!

@OutsideMatchInside - I love love LOVE how you phrased it like that. Suddenly all of my dumb fears are alleviated by you pretty much rephrasing the question . Thank you!

@bayougirlmrsc LOL - Thank you for sharing that! I was cackling at my desk!

So your specific question is should you wait until your joints are ruined and your organs are damaged by metabolic syndrome and you have an enlarged heart before you have surgery?
The answer is no, but you already know that.

LMAO.... I read this on FB the other day and thought.... this guy is so funny. So he is it:
Trick Oliver
April 19 at 7:16pm · So...giving into peer pressure, as I am prone to do, I decided to swallow what little pride I had stashed in a locked box for a rainy day and try the Unicorn Frappuccino. I kept hearing mixed reviews. "It's good" "It's nasty" "It tastes like a unicorn".
"Tastes like a unicorn?" I say to myself. Being the magician I am, I DO enjoy a good unicorn steak from time to time, so I decided to get one.
So I make my way to the nearest Starbucks, step up to the counter, and in my manliest of voices, I proudly proclaim that I would like 1 grande unicorn, in all its pink and blue glory! FOR THE HORDE! I wait the customary way too long, while listening to the sultry sounds of my favorite Starbucks song: I Hate Making Frappuccinos. Patiently I listen as my order comes closer. "Venti Unicorn for Cike with a C", "Patthew your order is ready", "One tall nonfat extra fat sugar free extra Syrup nowhip double whip caramochaccino for Vernarnia". And then finally, it came. My grande unicorn, in all its sparkly magnificence was placed upon the counter. Slowly I picked it up and made my way to my car, where, as is customary in this society, I took a picture before enjoying it.
I took a long sip and...well let me take a side step here. When I woke up this morning, it was cloudy, rainy, and there was distant thunder. It felt almost as if it was an omen of something horrible on the horizon. Little did I know, that something horrible was this.
As I sipped the pink, mango coldness hit my tongue. "Not....not bad" I thought to myself. But those pretty sparklies on the whipped cream called to me. I did as any self respecting 33yo man does when he first gets a frappuccino. I ripped off the lid and took a big bite of that whipped cream mountain, including the sprinkles of happiness....false happiness...the kind of happiness that lures you in with sweet words, only to stab you in the neck with icey lies and betryal. Sprinkles of happiness? SPRINKLES OF A PUCKERED a$$hole I SAY!
It soon became very apparent to me that Starbucks has NEVER tasted a Unicorn. Unicorns have MANY flavor profiles, from their cotton-candy manes, to their licorice horns. There's the vanilla bean flanks, chocolate hooves, cookies-and-cream fetlocks, EVEN THE RAINBOW SOFTSERVE ICECREAM POOP! But Starbucks used NONE of theze flavors.
No...No, Starbucks went for mango, which, as we ALL know, is what the wingtips of gryphons taste like. Not unicorns. Not. Unicorns. The only flavor in there that even remotely comes cloze to unicorn is the bitter, sour, nasty sprinkles and bluegoop. But that's not a good thing. It's common knowledge that the only time a unicorn has the bitter, sour flavor is when it is suffering from hoof-rot. And then, the only part that has that flavor, is the actual rot.
Now, I don't want to know why those higher-ups at Starbucks are tasting the least appetizing part of a unicorn but, well, there you have it.
Starbucks, I implore you, please stop attempting to recreate the flavor of mythical creatures, when obviously you have never tasted them.
tl;dr: Unicorn Frappuccino is icky.
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