2ndSpring

Wow - I have seen you say some mean things before, but you have really outdone yourself. How dare you talk to another human being in such a cruel manner.

HI Sasharbinx, Here is how I have been handling the issue myself. Before surgery I ate whenever a thought about food popped into my mind. Given my past behavior, I decided the #1 concern for me is to use this post-surgery time to learn new behaviors and forge a new relationship with food. I chose how many meals I would eat each day and I made it a firm rule. No matter how hungry I am or what social situation pops up, I only eat my planned meals. If I am hungry between meals, I tell myself that it is not a big deal and that I can eat again in X hours. I found that hunger comes and goes. By following this rule, I have learned so much: I have the power to say no (and mean it), I don't have to eat at every opportunity out of fear of hunger, and food doesn't need to be such a big part of my life. This is what has worked for me. Its not easy, but it I'm feeling really successful. I hope it helps you too. Good luck.

thanks for the great responses everyone.

I have been reading everything I can get my hands on to position myself for long term success. I just read an interesting study. It was small (only 20 participants) so it is not conclusive, but does show there may be a correlation to fat and carb intake and energy levels. The study found that those with higher fat consumption and lower Carb intake had greater energy expenditure (REE) after exercise and higher fat utilization for fuel burning. They also found that there may be a link to body fat percentages. https://jissn.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/1550-2783-11-S1-P6 so, how much fat/carb do you consume and has it been helpful in keeping weight off in the long term?

I brought my mother to the information seminar that doctors held once a month for prospective patients. she was able to hear the information and statistics from the doctor directly and ask questions. It helped relieve a lot of her concerns. Maybe your mother would agree to go and listen? PS. I'm not a kid, I'm quite middle aged - still need Mom

Hi zizi, I found a great group of people from NYC/Long Island. Hop on over to the support group subforums. Here is the link: http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/304888-ny-nyclong-island/page-32 there is some discussion about meeting up on the 28th at a coffee house in Hempstead. Maybe you can join us.

Look at how many friends you have here - and all from just being yourself. we all care about you. I'm sorry you are struggling right now, but I promise that life has good times in store for you. Its like that for everyone, ups and downs. the important thing is that you love yourself and take care of yourself when things suck for a while, and constantly remind yourself that everyone goes through bad times, it just happens, and it is a temporary period in your life. Every day, you need to remind yourself about all the ways that you are awesome. Make a list and read it every morning. It will help boost your confidence. Here are some I can see to get you started: I am beautiful, I have a great smile, I am smart and going to college, I am kind.....now keep adding.... I bet there is long list. A question... at dinner, when the other people went to another table, did they purposely walk past you? Or is it possible that you may be feeling so down that you misread the situation or let it feed into your sadness? Ask yourself if it had been someone else who got there first, if they would have yelled out and said, "hey guys, over here"?

hahaha. i had to google it, but...YES!!! love it.

@@OzRoo - is that you in the jeep photo? you look AMAZING. @@LittleBill - your post prodded me into putting up a profile pic - thanks for the nudge...not quite ready for the portrait, but at least its not that gray head anymore.

@LittleBill... I need a hint, whats the first letter?

sounds like a plan. Looking forward to it!

@@Spiceyfrog you are my hero. thank you for having the generosity of spirit to share your story and your pictures to help and educate this community.

Great topic. I guess it is human nature to view the world through the filter of your own experiences. People who have never struggled with weight mistakenly assume that our brains/hormones work the same way as theirs, so judge us by their own experiences and will never understand or empathize. No matter how much weight I lose, I will never forget the struggle and will always have compassion - because I lived it. My question to myself is, what biases/prejudices do I have for people who struggle with other challenges or addictions that I have never experienced? On the other hand, it is very scary to allow someone into your daily life that could potentially derail you. So I can see the youtube guys point. My newfound behavior changes are so delicate. I know fat brain is lurking in the background, ready to take over if I open the door even a crack.

@@JamieLogical and @@OutsideMatchInside thank you for the advice. I had resigned myself to a lower metabolic setpoint and am so relieved to know that it doesnt have to be that way. One more question, if you don't mind. What are your macro levels? Are you proponents of low carb and high fat? Here is what I ate yesterday: Calories Fat Carbs Protein 919 62g 45g 52g (carbs were from Beans, not grains)

Congrats!!!! We'll be thinking of you on Monday.

Thanks for advice. I appreciate it. I went over 1000 yesterday and was admonishing myself. sounds like I was on the right track! I had RMR done pre-surgery in October. I'm sure it has changed since then. I will get it re-run.

Hi guys, I'm following your conversation. I understand what you are saying about reduced metabolic rates. But I'm not sure what specifics to put into action. Looking back, what would you recommend for caloric intake during honeymoon to avoid problems later?

You are going to love this.... I measured my butt print! I put the tape measure on the coffee table and sat on it and measured the widest part. I have read that the average airplane seat is 17 inches wide and I am booking a flight to anywhere as soon as my butt can stay within the confines of my own seat. In addition to what you mentioned, you can also measure your thigh and upper arm.

Thanks for explaining about getting better results if you wait. I had just assumed the one year guideline was to make sure the patient was keeping the weight off.

I would wait a few more weeks. My Nut told me to avoid raw foods for a while (including veggies) because they are harder to digest and make your stomach work harder than cooked foods. I had my first at week 10.

@@shedo82773 Thank you for sharing your story. I will definitely keep it in mind when i get to that point in time.

Quest bars have 20+ Protein. Flavors vary by a gram or so here and there, using the lemon bar as an example: Total Carbs 23 minus Fiber 14 minus erythritol 5 =Net carbs of 4

Congrats ginabee!!! Either date works for me Laney. Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Congrats on the surgery and glad you are feeling good. Iron is one of the supplements that you should let bloodwork guide you on. You don't want to take it unless you are low.

haha, because it's different when it is someone else!! THEY need to hear the unvarnished truth, but not ME.