Travelher

you may want to check out dr. Weiner on you tube. He has some good videos on why bariatric surgery works and dietary changes alone tends to not. being obese changes our metabolisms. Bariatric surgery is a metabolic surgery. His videos indicate that long term it is not about restriction...the reason it works is the metabolic changes that happen when they surgically remove or interrupt your hormones produced in the stomach.
I was a healthy eating fat person...because of my years of yoyo dieting I tanked my metabolism. when I was young, i would fight to get to a normal weight, when i was in my 30's i was fighting to get to overweight.. in my 40's the fight was to stay at a lower level of obesity...
the stats do say 5% will be able to maintain weight loss. they also say that for the most part those people in the 5% tend to work in the fitness/weight loss industry. They are people who are 100% all in because their livelihood depends on continued success with maintenance.

size has nothing to do with it. Dating is a numbers game. My experience was that the super charming guys were that way because they had a LOT of practice....so those ones got weeded out pretty quickly. Also, for the most part, if a man makes it to his 40's never married or in a serious relationship...there is a reason. Seems to be different for women...but men...usually an indication of a maturity issue..at least it was on almost every single date I was on. I found the pool to be better quality in the divorced/separated crowd...just my experience. I assume you are internet dating, thank god for that because that is for the most part where the singles are. one of my biggest revelations was that I wasn't going to meet someone sitting on my couch hanging out with my best friend. and as a woman in your 40's if your experience is like mine. not many friends know single men in our age range or the ones they do know they would never set anyone up with. You need to go to a target rich environment...which nowadays is online.
I have a friend who used to meet guys at bars and dated a lot of alcoholics, so would not recommend that as a venue for meeting people. Fact is online dating is the best place to meet people who are also looking to meet people. I used to do short chats, then a short coffee date where I could assess whether I wanted to get to know the person further. it is just a screening process.
I really needed to think about what I really wanted and get away from my pattern of dating charming hot guys who were never going to be long term material. You need to do a lot of self examining and figure out what patterns you may need to consciously break.
I went on a lot of dates before I found someone who was relationship material. you need to change your way of looking at things. It is not about you it is about them, they aren't meeting your criteria, why are your making it about you?
I met more than one good guy while dating. When I met my husband I was worried he might even be too nice for me, then I gave my head a shake.
2 things I did that helped when I was dating. 1. did it with a single friend that I could connect with and download with after a date. 2. We created a blog for a creative outlet. dating became more fun with that because the bigger the disaster, the better the story (and a lot less depressing). Also I would take occasional breaks if I found it getting to me.

size has nothing to do with it. Dating is a numbers game. My experience was that the super charming guys were that way because they had a LOT of practice....so those ones got weeded out pretty quickly. Also, for the most part, if a man makes it to his 40's never married or in a serious relationship...there is a reason. Seems to be different for women...but men...usually an indication of a maturity issue..at least it was on almost every single date I was on. I found the pool to be better quality in the divorced/separated crowd...just my experience. I assume you are internet dating, thank god for that because that is for the most part where the singles are. one of my biggest revelations was that I wasn't going to meet someone sitting on my couch hanging out with my best friend. and as a woman in your 40's if your experience is like mine. not many friends know single men in our age range or the ones they do know they would never set anyone up with. You need to go to a target rich environment...which nowadays is online.
I have a friend who used to meet guys at bars and dated a lot of alcoholics, so would not recommend that as a venue for meeting people. Fact is online dating is the best place to meet people who are also looking to meet people. I used to do short chats, then a short coffee date where I could assess whether I wanted to get to know the person further. it is just a screening process.
I really needed to think about what I really wanted and get away from my pattern of dating charming hot guys who were never going to be long term material. You need to do a lot of self examining and figure out what patterns you may need to consciously break.
I went on a lot of dates before I found someone who was relationship material. you need to change your way of looking at things. It is not about you it is about them, they aren't meeting your criteria, why are your making it about you?
I met more than one good guy while dating. When I met my husband I was worried he might even be too nice for me, then I gave my head a shake.
2 things I did that helped when I was dating. 1. did it with a single friend that I could connect with and download with after a date. 2. We created a blog for a creative outlet. dating became more fun with that because the bigger the disaster, the better the story (and a lot less depressing). Also I would take occasional breaks if I found it getting to me.

you may want to check out dr. Weiner on you tube. He has some good videos on why bariatric surgery works and dietary changes alone tends to not. being obese changes our metabolisms. Bariatric surgery is a metabolic surgery. His videos indicate that long term it is not about restriction...the reason it works is the metabolic changes that happen when they surgically remove or interrupt your hormones produced in the stomach.
I was a healthy eating fat person...because of my years of yoyo dieting I tanked my metabolism. when I was young, i would fight to get to a normal weight, when i was in my 30's i was fighting to get to overweight.. in my 40's the fight was to stay at a lower level of obesity...
the stats do say 5% will be able to maintain weight loss. they also say that for the most part those people in the 5% tend to work in the fitness/weight loss industry. They are people who are 100% all in because their livelihood depends on continued success with maintenance.

I don't think it's your current weight/body comp, it's the guys that are jerks or looking for variety booty calls.
I would try cultivating hobbies - join a biking group, or hiking, or some type of sports, horses, shooting, archery, motorcycles, investent clubs, travel clubs, dance lessons, anything where you broaden the circle of meeting more people. Take a couple community college classes at night. And maybe even one or two communities away from where you live. Volunteer for habitat for humanity helping to rehab houses, even if you have no skills, anyone can wield a paintbrush and broom.
Think of your experiences so far as just practice learning what you don't want in a man.
I met my husband of 20 years when I was 41, (I was not thin) he is an amazing guy, it was a fluke encounter that turned into a crazy good relationship with so many things in common you would swear I am making it all up.
Be kind to yourself and hang in there.
Oh yeah - bring in the pictures!!!!

you may want to check out dr. Weiner on you tube. He has some good videos on why bariatric surgery works and dietary changes alone tends to not. being obese changes our metabolisms. Bariatric surgery is a metabolic surgery. His videos indicate that long term it is not about restriction...the reason it works is the metabolic changes that happen when they surgically remove or interrupt your hormones produced in the stomach.
I was a healthy eating fat person...because of my years of yoyo dieting I tanked my metabolism. when I was young, i would fight to get to a normal weight, when i was in my 30's i was fighting to get to overweight.. in my 40's the fight was to stay at a lower level of obesity...
the stats do say 5% will be able to maintain weight loss. they also say that for the most part those people in the 5% tend to work in the fitness/weight loss industry. They are people who are 100% all in because their livelihood depends on continued success with maintenance.

I think that guys pant sizes are smaller now that they were even 15 years ago. Every pair of pants that I owned was baggy fit. Now, everything is slim fit, straight fit or regular fit. If you are lucky, you can find a relaxed fit. Anyway, I wore a 44 baggy fit loosely or a 44 straight fit snugly at 6'2" and 326 pounds. This was in my old jeans. I refused to purchase new jeans, because new 44s were too tight on me, and I wasn't going to shop at the big and tall store. Now, at 244 pounds, I wear a 36 straight fit or 38 slim fit comfortably. I started out with a 3X shirt, and now I wear a 2X shirt.

I think you can't go wrong following a nutrition first outlook. no need to follow "diet plans". ask yourself if this gives you the highest number of nutrients? Post RNY nutrient dense food is critical. I don't avoid carbs, about 35% of my diet is nutrient dense carbs like fruits and vegetables, seeds, sometimes Beans etc. 40% is Protein (critical post op) and the remainder are healthy fats like salmon and avocado, nuts.
I avoid processed foods and simple carbs because they have little nutritional value. post op there isn't a lot of real estate in your stomach so nutrient dense food needs to take priority.
Now that I'm in maintenance and eating more. I may have the occasional simple carb choice...but i treat it like a condiment in terms of portion.

I think you can't go wrong following a nutrition first outlook. no need to follow "diet plans". ask yourself if this gives you the highest number of nutrients? Post RNY nutrient dense food is critical. I don't avoid carbs, about 35% of my diet is nutrient dense carbs like fruits and vegetables, seeds, sometimes Beans etc. 40% is Protein (critical post op) and the remainder are healthy fats like salmon and avocado, nuts.
I avoid processed foods and simple carbs because they have little nutritional value. post op there isn't a lot of real estate in your stomach so nutrient dense food needs to take priority.
Now that I'm in maintenance and eating more. I may have the occasional simple carb choice...but i treat it like a condiment in terms of portion.

I like the Celebrate soft chews (Berry) they taste like starbursts. also like the celebrate Protein and Calcium bars

Thanks for the mansplaining here.

I am clear it is well intentioned. Peoples actions are what communicates, not their intentions.

It could just be different for us girls, given our bodies are regulated, legislated and seemingly up for grabs in even casual social interactions.

Really, it's not worth getting worked up over. You have changed, people are going to notice, why let that bother you? In time people will get used to the new you and the comments will stop.
Worry about what you can control, let the other things go. For example, you can't control what people say, so let it go. You can control how you feel about or react to those comments, so work on that.
For the most part, people are not trying to annoy you. They are simply noticing an accomplishment and want to let you know. The correct answer to "You are too skinny now" or "You look younger" or "That must have been difficult" is "Thank you for noticing, I have been working hard."

I started in a size 20, am now wearing a size 2 or xs. I thought a size 6 was ambitious when i was starting.

i can relate. I can recall in my first months post op posting something that read something like. "my husband just made fresh buttered popcorn and I really want to go bop him on the head and steal his popcorn" I went and had a bath instead.
I agree with others, we had the surgery not them. i have to deal with the temptations, they will always be there. I would also do the grocery shopping...so other than Snacks for my kids lunch, i was not buying junk....if hubby wanted it, he'd have to put the effort out to go get it...or order it in.
My husband has never had a weight issue, but having said all this I did bring him to get a dexa scan with me at the beginning of the summer. He was horrified to find out his body fat put him in the obese category (even though his BMI was just a teeny overweight). My bodyfat was healthy. Boy did his perspective turn around fast. He decided to change his eating to my plan and has lost 10lbs. lol.

I did balanced macros from around 3 months post op onwards...so 40% Protein 35% carb, 25% fat. early days was lower carb by default as calories were lower and it was tough to get protein in.

I had my DS on 10/31/16 and I started out weighing 310 in a size 20-22 and XXL shirt. Now I am wearing a size 6 pants and M or S shirt.

10 months out. About 120 lbs down

Get it out! they can do permanent damage. I revised to RNY (self pay) and would do it ten times over. wish i'd just saved myself the 11 years of torture and done it years ago.

agree with the others. the stall will break on it's own.

10 months out. About 120 lbs down

one thing to be careful about with this calculator is that it is likely underestimating the lean mass. It was off for me by about 7 grams of protein (too low). as former or current obese people we have more bone density and more muscle (from carrying around extra weight) in general than the regular population (at least I do).

one thing to be careful about with this calculator is that it is likely underestimating the lean mass. It was off for me by about 7 grams of protein (too low). as former or current obese people we have more bone density and more muscle (from carrying around extra weight) in general than the regular population (at least I do).

I am totally out of shape and yet it applies to me. I gained 3lbs of muscle in 5 months...don't ask me how.. But i am in love with Dexa scans (I'm a data junkie). and I love that I can ignore the scale.

I am totally out of shape and yet it applies to me. I gained 3lbs of muscle in 5 months...don't ask me how.. But i am in love with Dexa scans (I'm a data junkie). and I love that I can ignore the scale.

one thing to be careful about with this calculator is that it is likely underestimating the lean mass. It was off for me by about 7 grams of protein (too low). as former or current obese people we have more bone density and more muscle (from carrying around extra weight) in general than the regular population (at least I do).