Travelher

I realize this may be too late. but i followed my doctor's advice and went bypass.

Curious on how that has been working for you? I found that 100%of the times a guy was trying to impress me he was a player. The more charming or on point...the bigger the player. I was looking for relationship not hookup so I actually eliminated guys like that off the hop. I was looking for a guy who was just being himself. I wanted a guy who was not too smooth etc because I wanted real. I was lucky...found it in my hubby.
After 2 painful meals early on. One that I walked out on it was so bad...meals were a definite no. Too long and hard to end without being rude. quick coffee or wine dates are easy to end. I met my hubby for a drink after work....you can extend those if you want to but is an easy out if you want to.
I used first dates simply as a screening tool to determine if I wanted a "real" date.

Sounds like you've put your body into starvation mode. Once a day is not good for your metabolism. Bet if you go back to 5 small meals you may see some movement

Are these first dates? When I was dating I NEVER did a meal for a first date. Dating 101... no more than a coffee date for a first date. If you aren't clicking the last thing you want to do is be stuck for an hour or more with the person. Activity dates are good as well, but I'd reserve for second dates. Don't think my husband and I went out for a meal until date 3 or 4 and he was too into me and the conversation to notice what I was or wasn't eating

Depends on what stage things are at. My hubby didn't call me every day early on. But once we were "dating" a couple of weeks in...we talked to each other every day. I called him and or he called me. If you are at that stage and a woman doesn't like that it probably Means she wasn't that into you. My hubby still calls me every day at work to see how my day is going. We've been together 10 years.

Curious on how that has been working for you? I found that 100%of the times a guy was trying to impress me he was a player. The more charming or on point...the bigger the player. I was looking for relationship not hookup so I actually eliminated guys like that off the hop. I was looking for a guy who was just being himself. I wanted a guy who was not too smooth etc because I wanted real. I was lucky...found it in my hubby.
After 2 painful meals early on. One that I walked out on it was so bad...meals were a definite no. Too long and hard to end without being rude. quick coffee or wine dates are easy to end. I met my hubby for a drink after work....you can extend those if you want to but is an easy out if you want to.
I used first dates simply as a screening tool to determine if I wanted a "real" date.

Are these first dates? When I was dating I NEVER did a meal for a first date. Dating 101... no more than a coffee date for a first date. If you aren't clicking the last thing you want to do is be stuck for an hour or more with the person. Activity dates are good as well, but I'd reserve for second dates. Don't think my husband and I went out for a meal until date 3 or 4 and he was too into me and the conversation to notice what I was or wasn't eating

Are these first dates? When I was dating I NEVER did a meal for a first date. Dating 101... no more than a coffee date for a first date. If you aren't clicking the last thing you want to do is be stuck for an hour or more with the person. Activity dates are good as well, but I'd reserve for second dates. Don't think my husband and I went out for a meal until date 3 or 4 and he was too into me and the conversation to notice what I was or wasn't eating

Totally. It is a ying and yang thing. I am an extrovert and a planner and like to be in charge of everything. My husband is a go with the flow kind of guy and is happy to let me make the decisions. It totally works. I'd be in constant conflict with someone like me. Also he is a kind and friendly guy who would probably be a lonely hermit if I didn't organize our social events....
Same with my other still married friends. I have a couple friends one is a banking consultant, she is high powered, non stop travels etc. Her hubby is laid back, not super career oriented takes care of things on the home front. She is so grateful for that. It allows her to pusue her dreams and he's happy too.

The right answer is do what is right for you, you have to be yourself. Match is looking for an extrovert, her dating strategy is based on that because it works for her. I married an introvert...I'm an extrovert, and I know I mesh better with an introvert.
there is no trick to it. You mesh or you don't. Match likes big gestures, to be wined and dined. I don't care about that stuff. Some women like stuffed animals and greeting cards and I think hey are juvenile. Bottom line a stuffies and greeting cards guy will mesh with a stuffies and greeting cards woman. The approach that feels right to you will work for someone who meshes with you.
If you have an issue spending $150 on a date that may not work out then the quick coffee dates to assess a match are probably the better way to go. Ultimately you need to look for a match for you.

Curious on how that has been working for you? I found that 100%of the times a guy was trying to impress me he was a player. The more charming or on point...the bigger the player. I was looking for relationship not hookup so I actually eliminated guys like that off the hop. I was looking for a guy who was just being himself. I wanted a guy who was not too smooth etc because I wanted real. I was lucky...found it in my hubby.
After 2 painful meals early on. One that I walked out on it was so bad...meals were a definite no. Too long and hard to end without being rude. quick coffee or wine dates are easy to end. I met my hubby for a drink after work....you can extend those if you want to but is an easy out if you want to.
I used first dates simply as a screening tool to determine if I wanted a "real" date.

Are these first dates? When I was dating I NEVER did a meal for a first date. Dating 101... no more than a coffee date for a first date. If you aren't clicking the last thing you want to do is be stuck for an hour or more with the person. Activity dates are good as well, but I'd reserve for second dates. Don't think my husband and I went out for a meal until date 3 or 4 and he was too into me and the conversation to notice what I was or wasn't eating

well, glad to know it's not me...lol A coffee date would be good for me, love coffee also I would not be feeling like I need to force food in me. I am not a one night stand by no means, so if they even mention going back to their place it's out of the question. and no more talking to them. Not looking for that kind of relationship.

Depends on what stage things are at. My hubby didn't call me every day early on. But once we were "dating" a couple of weeks in...we talked to each other every day. I called him and or he called me. If you are at that stage and a woman doesn't like that it probably Means she wasn't that into you. My hubby still calls me every day at work to see how my day is going. We've been together 10 years.

Same here. That's why activity dates were reserved for second or more dates. I'm with you on that..it is very awkward to have to sit though a date that is going nowhere. That is why I kept them coffee or after work drinks. Easy out to say i have to get back to work for a meeting or have dinner plans gotta go!
You just need to keep at it. You will find someone you mutually click with. I find it is a bit of a numbers thing. It isn't you. Dating is hard. But you'll get into the swing. I ended up blogging about it. At the end of the day you wanted it to be a total disaster (great story) or preferably great (because that's why you are doing it).

Curious on how that has been working for you? I found that 100%of the times a guy was trying to impress me he was a player. The more charming or on point...the bigger the player. I was looking for relationship not hookup so I actually eliminated guys like that off the hop. I was looking for a guy who was just being himself. I wanted a guy who was not too smooth etc because I wanted real. I was lucky...found it in my hubby.
After 2 painful meals early on. One that I walked out on it was so bad...meals were a definite no. Too long and hard to end without being rude. quick coffee or wine dates are easy to end. I met my hubby for a drink after work....you can extend those if you want to but is an easy out if you want to.
I used first dates simply as a screening tool to determine if I wanted a "real" date.

Are these first dates? When I was dating I NEVER did a meal for a first date. Dating 101... no more than a coffee date for a first date. If you aren't clicking the last thing you want to do is be stuck for an hour or more with the person. Activity dates are good as well, but I'd reserve for second dates. Don't think my husband and I went out for a meal until date 3 or 4 and he was too into me and the conversation to notice what I was or wasn't eating

Nothing as serious as yours, but I've developed a post op infection in one of my incisions. I now have a topical antibiotic. So I'm hoping that will clear things up. I'm about 15 days post op

Now it makes sense! If you don't like introverts you would be better to date the flashier guys.
i found the text thing to be hit or miss. Definitely dated some that were funny or charming over text and totally different in person.
Hmm. Maybe I was the player by your definition though none of my coffee dates ended in pound town...if a guy tried to pull that, he was out too.

How many calories are you consuming daily? Do you track your foods? How many carbs and Protein are you eating? Are you drinking at least 64oz or more Water daily? I think we need more information to offer advice. Did you follow your doctors plan?
Exercise can be walking or non-impact in a pool, it doesn't have to be stressful to the body.
I am sorry you haven't lost weight, but maybe you still can if you change some things.

Honestly from reading forums for years, people that "fall off the wagon" never seem to get back on it. It isn't like AA, you can just give up alcohol. You can't give up food and if you would never learn to control your eating and food when it was easy post-op, you probably never will.
Post-op life shouldn't be on a wagon or off. You have to find a way to eat that is easy, normalized to your and HEALTHY. That way you don't fall off the wagon, don't feel deprived and don't cheat.
If you really can't eat right, finding a therapist to help you work through your feelings about food might bring you some success.

Are these first dates? When I was dating I NEVER did a meal for a first date. Dating 101... no more than a coffee date for a first date. If you aren't clicking the last thing you want to do is be stuck for an hour or more with the person. Activity dates are good as well, but I'd reserve for second dates. Don't think my husband and I went out for a meal until date 3 or 4 and he was too into me and the conversation to notice what I was or wasn't eating

Hey...we had the same starting stats!

1. Wore a minidress for the first time in my life
2. It is a size 4!!!!!
3. No Spanx
4. No thigh chafing!

1. Wore a minidress for the first time in my life
2. It is a size 4!!!!!
3. No Spanx
4. No thigh chafing!