ReadySteadyGo

Sounds wonderful. We will have to keep in touch. I have never had the oppurtunity to go but I have read so much about it. I read the book "Girls like us" about the woman who started the festivals and the progression of them since. I have always always wanted to go.

So. In kindergarten I meet this girl. Fast forward 20 years and we are best friends and room mates. I've struggled with my weight for 12 of those years and she always has supported me and been understanding. In fact the bigger I got the closer we got. She has been a size 2 at 4'11 for years. I'm not one of those big girls that have a problem with smaller ones. I love my woman all shapes and sizes as long as they are healthy. Her boyfriend had a pretty bad weight problem too. She always said she thought big was sexy and that big girls were beautiful and I never doubted her.... In the last year she has gained maybe 25 lbs. Which means that she is wearing a size 6 now and she is depressed. I've tried not to let it bother me that she is being all pissy about being a size 6...when I was a 28 and she told me she tought I was beautiful. I try to understand but then... We took a picture togethor and it is a beautiful picture and I said so and she made a horrible face. I asked her what was wrong and she said "Look at my gut. That is disgusting" I was really taken back. Really? Disgusting? In the last few months since shes gained a little weight the fact that she has some serious problem with fat has come out. Obviously she thinks it is disgusting and she admitted some crazy things that she has done so she wouldn't become fat...and she was tiny tiny tiny tiny to the point of being unhealthy. So i wonder- I really feel that she only accepts my weight because it makes her feel skinny. That she only dated big guys because it reminded her she wasn't fat. I feel kind of deceived. I love her at whatever size she would be, not because of it. I thought she felt the same way. We have been friends since kindergarten. I feel like she was my sister...now I kind of feel like her self esteem booster, the person she compared herself to to assure herself she was sexy...because she doesn't like to hang out with girls she thinks are prettier than her. Does that mean she thinks I'm ugly? I think I'm hot, and I think she is beautiful, but lately my opinion of her is really really dropping. It's so sad. So so so so sad.

I know what your saying Harvest. I have always preached love yourself at anysize and get so pissed off myself when normal healthy woman hate themselves because of the impossible image we are supposed to keep up with that the media and the cosmetic industry expose us too, and I (and I might get web slapped for saying this) feel uncomfortable with people who get the lap band for purely cosmetic reasons and am afraid that people will think that I did, but I was huge and unhealthy and I had to do something drastic or I would never be ABLE to go to a festival because I wouldn't be able to walk any kind of distance. My legs were swelling horribly and the Dr.'s just kept prescribing Fluid pills and telling me to get exercise, that I needed to lose weight, but my legs were so thick and swollen and painful that I couldn't even barely walk to my care from work, much less walk around the block. So far I've lost about 30 lbs and I can work out (not as much as I want to but I can at least do 30 minutes on a tread mill if I feel motivated too) I am a feminist lesbian..and I have the lapband. Now I can continue to be a feminist lesbian in 10 years rather than a sad depressed person who can't drive herself because she couldn't fit in her own car.

Do you smoke Pot? thats hilarious...and true. Talk about not being able to watch what you eat. In my wilder days I once (before I was fat) smoked some then got a ride home. Found a pizza in the fridge. My parents woke me up with an empty pizza hut box on my lap that used to contain 6 (count them 6) peices of DEEP PAN pizza. I don't know how I did it.

No, no pain or it might be easier to stop. I eat SO much more if I drink with my meals. I don't get hungry faster, I can just eat alot more...but maybe I don't get hungry faster because I ate so much more. Either way IT STOPS today. I have made a promise to myself and I am going to keep it DAMN IT! OHJuli- I feel like people who know I'm banded watch what I'm eating, made apparant when people say (before I've even taken one bite) Don't make yourself sick. People who don't know I'm banded seem confused that I'm so thick and eat so little. I don't care though. I think it's funny.

Good for you and congrats!

OMG me too!

Some things I need to work on. I am making a promise to myself not to do these things. 1. - No eating while drinking. This is so hard for me. It makes such a difference when I don't, but I keep telling myself. Just this meal, next one I won't drink. From now on all my meals will be dry. 2. - No more eating out. I will eat my own prepared meals, or lean cruisine meals. No more eating out even if I think I'm making healthier choices it is still to much fat and calories that wouldn't be there if I made it at home....It just might not taste as good. But I will teach myself how to cook. Does anyone have any recipe suggestions because I am hopeless in the kitchen.

What did the nurse say Ezma?

I've been struggling. I don't seem to be losing and it is, quite frankly, pissing me off. I couldn't be positive so I thought it best to keep to myself for a while.

Not drinking while you eat. This is so hard for me. It's something I've really been struggling with since the beginning. Right now I am successful at giving up the drink about half the time, and fighting really hard with my self descruction thirst to not drink while eating all the time. uh. Oh well. I'm trying. Just keep swimming, Tara.

Yay for you. All that swimming has really paid off.

I've lost 39 lbs. give or take two or three that go up and down. I'm not up to par with most of you. But atleast I'm in the race not sitting on the sidelines.

Looking great Jaime

Hi Sherri Nice to meet you.

How are you? I'm always thirsty and not having anything to drink is always really hard when I was going to have surgery.

Sorry I haven't been around. I will send you all my best wishes, thoughts, and love.

Ezma. Your a gorgeous inspiration. A lovely breeze of hope, not to mention a sassy haired siren. In short, to quote Juno- You are the cheese to my macaroni.

I love sushi...but Hate rice. I like sashimi mostly. Or I will pick the insides out of the rolls. I love the dragon rolls with eel. mmmm. I think the fish and avacodo go well togethor too.

Take care of yourself and get well soon. I will be thinking of you.

I get the hiccups, but I always have. If I get really happy, I get the hiccups. it's embarrasing. I worked at this really crappy job and every day on the walk to the back to clock out I would get the hiccups.

Maybe it's because aspirin and such aggravate the stomach? Tylenol is easier on the gut, isn't it? Just speculation.

So I don't have a wii, does that matter, or do I need the wii with the wii fit? Can I just buy the wii fit? Thanks Michelle, I will try to look into the shipping and find out.

My Dr. told me no aspirin, but I don't know why.

Thanks. I think the absolute best thing is the tylenol. I was taking it already during the day, but yesterday I bought some tylenol pm and took it last night and only woke up a few times instead of never going to sleep like the last two days. I put this 100% pure aloe vera gel on my burn and that helped, but some of the smaller blisters on my back popped (i'm guessing) because it burned my shoulders and back so much I thought I was going to cry. Looking at the back of the "100% pure aloe vera" I saw there was alcohol in it. This confuses me.