emme.vee

Life is too short to have fks to give regarding other people's opinions of you. Frighteningly too short and getting shorter every day. The less time you have, the less you care about what other's think. People will get over it or they will not-neither has a darn thing to do with you! When I got a divorce and stepped out, by God, I didn't have time to wait on them all to catch up! Same with WLS I suppose. Don't care what other's think. My give a fk cup is empty! When people talk, they get bored and move on quickly. Bi can be a 'bad word" and growing up, lesbian was the a dirty word. I spent WAYY too much time thinking about *The Label*. Gawd, the label?? Really? I spent more time worrying about what some girl would think about my butt size, than exploring my ever-present desires. I honestly thought that lesbians would be more judgy about my body and that I wouldn't be able to distract them with sex. Hahahahaha. I know what I think when I see a naked girl, and it isn't "her butt is fat!", more along the lines of, "Yea! Boobs and I am about to have sex!". I would have saved SO much time if I had given up on the 'supposed to's' and the labels. To do it over again and really, really not GAF I would be almost an unstoppable force. My "label" is gay or queer or I simply say, "I only date women", if others address me as lesbian or whatever, I take it, no worries. To say Lesbian to me, negates the 13 year relationship I had with my my exH, it negates the small, small possibility that I might one day date a man again. Not saying I was only with him during our marriage, I am not saying I was totally happy with him and did not think about other women, but we did have a life, a child and I am not going to erase that. But, to do it again. I would go for it earlier, much earlier. Been stronger for change in my life faster. Pull the bandaid off. Feeling kinda pervy for being SO attracted to women, as I am noticing the ones' the age I SHOULD have gotten a divorce and here I am a bit older.. Ha. Lmao!!!! Omg this is so true!!! My biggest fear with women was that they wouldn't find me attractive and hello small boob land over here. And my shape is round so I just figured, who would think I'm cute, or even want to have sex with me when there are so many other women out there with a kick ass body! But then I realized ummm dummy why do you like imperfect girls if imperfect girls are so unloveable? I have never dated a female that was thin, actually I take that back I did date a thinnish girl but it has never been about being thin or thick for me so I don't know why I thought other women wouldn't find me attractive! There is more to a person than their looks, though I have to say my girlfriend is pretty hot . I am really happy now and my battles with depression are long gone. I am simply happy.

I always liked women, had several crushes in fact...but always had male partners. Spent most of my adult life wondering too and wasted a lot of time being depressed about "wow, this is it, I'm married to a man & I will never get to experience having a female partner." Things didn't turn out well with my kids dad and after we broke it off, I dated women. I have been in a same sex relationship for almost 5 years now. Do I find people from the opposite sex attractive? Sure. Do I consider myself bi? Not really. My attraction doesn't really cross over to my sexual desire. I am attracted to women and my desires are to be with women. I had a really hard time in the beginning when I first "came out" to label myself. I don't care now because I am sure of who I am. People won't always understand, and that is ok. It is not your job to make everyone around you happy. I had to come to terms with that quickly because I received a lot of backlash from people around me. My point is, if you have a desire, don't waste your time wondering. I didn't come out until I was 37. I feel like wasted so much time. I had the opportunity to have children and I love and cherish them deeply but I also spent most of their childhood depressed and unhappy. If you experiment and decide it's not for you, then at least you know!

Me too! Me too! But I'm just getting started. LOL