grannysleevster

I'm not real good at looking away if you haven't noticed. Why? Because there are SO MANY LURKERS in this forum who are reading, reading, reading and if no one speaks up, they are absorbing bad advice and patronizing warm fuzzy validations.
Am I wasting my time? Absolutely. Am I ever going to win any popularity contests for having strong opinions and a big mouth? Probably not. (And I really don't care. I have real life friends who live outside my computer.) Did I get my fair share of finger shakes', eye rolls and kicks in the pants as I went through this process? YUP. Did I learn from those "meanies"? Without a doubt (and DANG I miss them!!) Was I always happy about it? NO FREAKING WAY. But I listened and ultimately, I earned back my health and a MUCH smaller number on the scale.
Giving myself permission to eat what I wanted against the advice of WWs and Jenny Craig and Atkins and South Beach and my doctor got me to 264 pounds. Clearly I **didn't** know my body best and caving to the head hunger and cravings did some permanent damage to my body that can never be undone.
So if even one person can be reached and jolted back into their new reality of WLS, FABULOUS. That's why I waste my time.

Age 46
Height 5'4"
HW 262
SW 235 Sleeved on 5/17/16
CW 210
GW 150
I have to say the goal was to be able to have a healthy energized life with my grandson and I am soooo glad I am living this life!!
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He's been very supportive and to an extent, like the "food police". He is encouraging me to stay on liquids for a bit longer and not adding too many foods, even soft ones, into my diet yet.
I am only 3 weeks out and liquids do feel best in my belly for now. Also, he doesn't want me to blow it- to have gone through all of this and not succeed.
He says I talk about food a lot. I challenged him to go on an all liquid diet for 3 weeks and tell me food was not always on his mind!
So, he's been supportive, but also kind of annoying, mostly for my own good, though.

The Quest bars are my favorites, particularly the chocolate chip cookie dough ones. costco has some pretty similar Kirkland-brand ones that are a good bit cheaper than the Quest ones. Their macro nutrients are nearly identical to the Quest bars, they come in two flavors (cookie dough & chocolate brownie). They are a notch lower than the Quest bars in taste, but close enough that I switched to them for the savings.

I totally get your feeling of "oh crrrraaaaap" I had it too! ...and I hate to be wrong!! I'm 3 months out and the one thing I held onto throughout was my family....Get your family involved...The pain is so temporary but the WLS is forever!! Just like your family and close friends! I made a little video diary to relay what I was feeling and suffering and it really helped!! I will be thinking of you and I'm sure when you look back on the first month you're going to be soooo proud of what you went through!!
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Wait, 9 weeks out and this much regret? You are putting a whole bunch of stock in what is just a small adjustment period.
Sad that in two years you didn't take the time to learn that the first 6 months are an adjustment, and then generally things go back to normal.
I'm 5 years out, I eat quickly, I drink coffee (and tea), I eat meat and salad, I've gotten used to not drinking with my meals and learned that if I want results I have to approach life a certain way.
Seems like you did a lot of "research" and very little listining.
And I died, twice, from complications from my Lap Band, had a feeding tube for months, still have residual issues.
You may have been cleared for surgery, but you were obviously in no way prepared.
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When we write things on forums, it isn't just the original poster, or the responders who read it. I betcha there will be many lurkers who will read this thread and it's good that they can see various points of view. My remarks are targeted at those people who are trying to understand this surgery and if it is a good idea for them. It's a freaking scary proposition to have part of your stomach removed!
My personal experience as a sleever can be summarized like this:
Preop - Terrified and anxious, I had to get short term medication to make it through the last week before surgery. The word "hot mess" comes to mind. It wasn't because I didn't want to be sleeved, it was because I had such a fear of the operation, such a fear of failing AGAIN (I was a failed band patient and there is no feeling of failure like failing after bariatric surgery) First weeks post op were very miserable and I was still fat. Struggle to get in enough Water, exhausted, anti-social, diarrea all that stuff. I never regretted it though because I knew this often happened and I just had to "muscle through it" Introducing solid food was another awful experience. I felt like I had to do it perfectly right since I was so desperate to succeed. I feared damaging my sleeve, I felt sick to my stomach, everything tasted weird, Water tasted like it had metal in it.... and I was still fat. The next few months were surreal. I didn't feel like myself and I can't even articulate why. While I got the hang of eating properly, it was disorienting for food to taste bad, to eat so little, to have food restrictions, eating FELT LIKE A CHORE. Then, I had an "ah ha" moment - this is the window of opportunity to change my relationship with food. Food is not recreation, it's nutrtion - novel concept for me! I often felt I would be happier just not eating, but I realized that is another form of disordered eating, so I took on the approach that food is like medicine - follow my surgeons and NUTs directions and take it on faith it would get better. Still fat, but down alot. By 3-4 months out, people were noticing the weight loss, I was feeling more myself emotionally, I was not as naseaous, I could tolerate a wider variety of food and it started tasting normal. I was in a good workout routine and loving that I could do more. Yes, still fat, but not nearly AS fat. I started thinking that amazing things MIGHT be possible. At around 8-9 months my appetite returned, my weight loss slowed and I was still about 40# from goal. I made a conscious decision to evaluate what was important to me and I got my butt back on track with good steady losses. At 14 months I made my goal of losing 150#. I could wear cute clothes, people didn't recognize me, I could eat pretty much anything (exceptions are rich ice cream gives me cramps and spicy food can irritate my tummy a bit) I am nearly 5 years post op and living a good life as a normal sized, active woman with a loving boyfriend. I am living a day to day life that I could only dream of. Many people dont know I had surgery - I eat small portions of very normal food. My kids are shocked when they see my before pix... but they tell me I changed inside too, not just the weight loss. I wear makeup, I love to dress up, go out, social butterfly all that. Life is pretty damn good and I am thankful for the help of the sleeve to get me here.

Exactly. Your not looking for input, just attention. Shut up, stop whining and get over yourself. You'll be fat and happy again in no time. Just read all the other whining posts. Some of us accept responsibility for our decisions without acting like victims. If you were so well informed and did your research, how are you so clueless? You need help.

You are very welcome.
A lot of years of pain, struggle, therapy, and recovery went into preparing me for this stage of my life. If I can share a little bit of what I have learned, it makes it worth it.
Thank you, too @@Babbs for your wisdom, experience, and sense of humor (among other good qualities).

I'm nervous about weighing in when I get home. I don't want to hit the dreaded 3 week stall!
If you stay off the scale for several weeks, you can sail through your 3 week stall without ever knowing about it. I highly recommend it!

My surgery was the day after yours. I too had trouble taking my Vitamins. I tried taking them before meals, after meals, in between meals, and every time I got extremely nauseated and even vomited once. Thankfully, I think I figured it out a few days ago. I eat about 1/3 of my meal, take Vitamin, eat another 1/3, take rest of Vitamins, finish meal. This has been working wonders! By the way, my vitamins are chewable, so I'm not drinking during meals.
I left my house for vacation 4 days ago. This is the first time I haven't been weighing myself daily. I'm nervous about weighing in when I get home. I don't want to hit the dreaded 3 week stall!
I hope these tips are helping and your stall ends soon!

I've noticed when I grocery shop i spend less....which lets me budget more when we have a nice dinner out!
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Good.
Spitters are quitters.
You should own what goes past your lips.
Unless that shyt has sugar in it.

Thanks, Alex, I had been thinking about the same ideas this past week.
It especially makes my blood boil when someone responds to a post with "well if you're thinking of doing that then I question your commitment to weight loss." I think it is really not a helpful response. You don't have enough information to make that call. I'm sure it is not too difficult to get your point across without suggesting someone is destined to be a weight loss failure.

I am the first to admit that sometimes the truth hurts! Some situations just can't be supported. I would want to know the truth if I were doing something to hurt myself.

Safety is a wide ranging topic.
Listening to someone berate their sleeve because it allowed them to eat a 20oz steak early on post-op raises some safety concerns for sure. The urge to comment on this dangerous act was compelling, although I'm quite sure someone became butt hurt over our lack support of that behavior.
It's a fine line between coming across as being supportive Vs a jerk. I'll do my best to be positive and helpful but I'm not going to lie.

"All our members are polite, politically correct, sensitive, and joyously knowledgeable" said no internet forum ever.
Unfortunately when you have any type public forum there will always be nice people, funny people, abrasive people, know-it-alls who really know very little, closed minded people who think their way is the only way, and desperately needy people who could not form an independent opinion if their lives depended on it.
This is the world wide web, the blazing fast internet, the information super highway.
There is really no way to control what type of person joins. You can spend your days trying to block the numerous a-holes or you can leave it up to each individual to determine who gives sound advice and responses.
There will never be a day that you have an open forum consisting only of genuinely nice people. You can certainly ask for courtesy and respect from members but to think that everyone will cooperate is unrealistic.
It takes all kinds to make the world go round.

I have gone back and re-read the thread here, and I really need to call myself out and apologize! I never wanted to come across as such a bitch. I really do respect all of you, I am grateful for your wisdom, and I just realized I did the very thing that I was complaining about. I really need to get a handle on my attitude (I keep blaming it on hormones, but that's pretty weak!) Let me just say that I now realize it is our differences that make us so valuable to each other. I am sincere when I say that I really hope to be more tolerant and respectful to all of you. There was no need for me to stir the pot.

Too many people, too many levels of emotions, not everyone will be pleased all of the time. You can't control how everyone is going to react to every word you are putting out there. Someone is bound to get offended one way or another.
Me? Give it to me raw, tell me the nitty gritty. Don't sugar coat it. Don't patronize me by saying things nicely in order to avoid conflict. I will not be offended because I come here for advice. I'm new to all of this. I want to research and know and be prepared. I don't want to look into this experience with rose colored glasses.
But again; that's my opinion. I know everyone doesn't feel the same. I have yet to see someone be rude on here. I don't understand what this stemmed from, but hopefully vets don't get pushed out. I like being informed on every possible situations and I really enjoy reading these posts.
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People of all ages, creeds, religions etc congregate here. With one issue (I am making an assumption here) in common, a desire to lose weight through WLS or maintain a weightloss from existing WLS.
We are from all over the globe experiencing different surgeries, different surgeons in different countries.
Some of us are in pain, frightened and worried. Either trying to make one of the biggest decisions of our lives or trying to deal with the aftermath of such a decision.
Kindness is key, so is compassion and grace.
However, the above may look and sound different to each human here!
I read what I want, I say what I want, I learn loads and have made new friends.
If people need to leave to keep themselves safe, then the rest of us need to respect that. The same way if a person asks a question, even if it is about a stall or drinking beer two days out, we need to show a respectful silence or look away.
Everyone is valuable. Everyone here has different personalities and styles.
There is little point in becoming offended whether it be because of someone being snippy on a thread or someone asking us to play nicely together!
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Many of the rude, mean and nasty posts are not from vets. Why are we making this out to be an Us vs Them situation?! I'm disappointed that we are going to lose the valuable information of many on this forum because others take every comment they don't agree with (some not even directed at them) as "mean" or "bullying". As already said - text is often misread (with inflection and emotions) that may not be intended by the poster.

This is why I like (most) men better than (most) women. They look at what's presented to them without adding a whole lot of interpretation and emotional connection. You gotta take words on an internet forum at face value instead of reading into every word spoken as a direct hit.
Sigh.
Staying true to myself is stepping away. Eventually these boards may revolve back into being a place where one can just be oneself but for now? Not so much.
You can come sell me shoes anytime.

It has nothing to do with wanting special permission to be "disrespectful", "uncivil", to "treat people poorly", be "mean" or "condescending". It has EVERYTHING to do with the new trend of having to pussyfoot around these boards knowing that someone is GOING to be offended just because of who you are and those who are behind the scenes TELLING others to be offended because they don't like you.
I have no problem talking out a misunderstanding, clarifying a post or apologizing for offending someone if I do so. I do have a problem with adopting a fake warm fuzzy persona because some people are looking to be offended where no offense is there.
These boards are evolving into a place to be coddled and cossetted to, instead of place where one can give and receive solid advice. It's a shame.
Edit to add: This is MY OPINION. No one needs to read it or feel offended by it.

Enjoy the journey. It sounds cheesy, but it's true.

Every size lost, every new pair of pants bought, every teeny victory is to be savored. The first time you can back your car up and actually turn around in your car seat comfortably, the first time you paint your toenails and can breath while doing so, the first time you can cross your legs, or wear a regular sized garment, or get up off the floor without rolling to your knees first, or wrap your fingers around your wrist, or feel your hipbones, your sternum, your tailbone...

There are so many little things that you will do and then realize you DID (cuz ohmygawd you've not done that in SO.FREAKING.LONG). When the scale stops moving for a few weeks (but your pants keep getting looser) you have to rejoice in all the little things that are happening to your body along the way, because those are what add up to the big things.
No one will ever see your number on the scale (unless you shamelessly tell people like I do at times), and rarely will someone know your clothing size (well...uhm...) but they WILL see you bounce up the stairs without huffing and puffing, they will see your confident posture and smile as you shop at a regular store, they will see you run after your kids or for the bus...

This WLS thing is awesome. Ridiculously awesome. Enjoy every minute of it.

Go ahead and have a good cry. I think crying releases soo much built up stress and anguish. Let it all go.
Then:
Call you team and tell them what you ate AND then vomited it all up. One, in my opinion is just as bad as the other. eating/vomiting
Only they should be guiding you after such a "stumble". --no sugar coating--a serious stumble.
I have permanent scar on my knees from "stumbles" along my WLS path. I'm think'n that there are very few members who don't. So, what to do??
realize the seriousness of your actions----done
Have a good, cleansing cry---done
Call your "team"----make app'tment-----hopefully done
Finish your crying---pull up big girl panties--in process
Call your therapist--tell all--make app'tment---hopefully done
Take a deep breath---please
NOW, get on with you journey:
go for a long walk--or a short one--just get out of the house--even into the yard if that's as far as you can go
Make notes to yourself :
pros of why you had WLS
your recent binge and how your felt after
What you ARE going to achieve with your WLS journey
Read a nasty historical romance!---oh wait! that's for myself!! A little woman's porn never hurt for a wee bit of escapism. It sure gets my mind off of food!!!!
AND stop watching the TV commercials!! Record programs so when you do watch your shows you can fast forward through those nasty, nasty devil driven creations.
My friend, don't keep flogging yourself about a situation that you can not take back.. Put the determination of NEVER repeating it into your mind.
You can do this. You've already done the hardest part---you recognized your obesity disease and took action and responsibility to a healthier life.
Now you simply have to "go forward"--one step at a time. Forward, ----always forward, my friend.
Please, keep posting and letting us know how you're doing.
I care, and I know many other members do too.
Take care of yourself.