jmc534

It's going to be a huge change in lifestyle for me. I'm a beer drinker and I make my own beer at home. I'm really into craft beers and breweries and it is one of my passions. These types of beers carry a lot of calories, 250 calories and up each beer! Drinking and visiting breweries and hanging out watching football games on Sunday's with my friends is something I love to do but I know it's not healthy. I'm just scared of what the future will bring
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Im still in preop stage and Ive told everyone, heck I even put it on fb lol. I dont want to have to keep explaining myself. To the knockers I tell them it is a genetic related disease and its because of this same reason that skinny people with high metabolisms who eat lots of junk food cant put weight on. Ive yet to find someone come back with an answer to that. As for the lifestyle changes jmc534 maybe you will just have to get yourself a little glass for all the beer tasting. Apparently you wont need as much to enjoy yourself.
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I think friends, family and even to an extent, yourself get used to seeing you a certain way. Heavy. It's hard to break that thought process. I was relatively at a healthy weight when I was younger in my 20's, hovering around the 200-220lbs mark but when I hit 30, it started to pile on. I am now 40 with 2 little boys and I'm almost 290 lbs! By far the heaviest I've ever been. Each year I seem to gain anywhere from 15-20 lbs. now I am ashamed of the way I look. Clothes don't fit me correctly. I'm so self conscious that I avoid doing things in public. This is really hard because my boys are into sports and I help coach their teams. Winter is my favorite time of year because I can hide under sweatshirts and stuff. I have been miserable and I've tried weight watchers and all kinds of diets to no avail. Now I find myself at a crossroads. Do nothing and continue to be miserable and gain weight or take control of my life and lose the weight. I've chosen to lose the weight, for myself and my children. Thank you for letting me vent!
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@MSUjester....Thank you for the encouraging words....I'm struggling also feeling like a failure????cuz I couldn't do it by myself. Sent from my SM-G920P using the BariatricPal App

I totally understand where your coming from. I only told family members and some friends. I mean it's only necessary to let the people who matter know. Don't be ashamed though. This isn't an easy way of life. Alot of people just don't understand. Be proud of all that your going to sacrifice and everything that's gonna come from it

I am having surgery on Monday. My pcp, my surgeon and team and my husband are all I have told. In fact I got annoyed that my husband told his boss and coworker that I was having it. (It came up when he asked to take a week of to help me, and his coworker is actually having surgery with my surgeon the day after). But I look at it like this, I don't tell people any other medical procedures I have had done, why is this different? If people ask me after, I will tell them honestly but before no. My kids know that I am going for some kind of surgery, but are aloof enough to not ask what kind.
When ever I have mentioned it in the past, it's a flood of well meaning but silly comments. I don't have time for that.
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That what I keep telling myself. ... no one tried to talk me out of open heart surgery when I had my first heart attack @ 40 (I'm 43 now)....so it's none of their business and if they want to give an opinion, I will have to charge them to help pay the co-pays...
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I think friends, family and even to an extent, yourself get used to seeing you a certain way. Heavy. It's hard to break that thought process. I was relatively at a healthy weight when I was younger in my 20's, hovering around the 200-220lbs mark but when I hit 30, it started to pile on. I am now 40 with 2 little boys and I'm almost 290 lbs! By far the heaviest I've ever been. Each year I seem to gain anywhere from 15-20 lbs. now I am ashamed of the way I look. Clothes don't fit me correctly. I'm so self conscious that I avoid doing things in public. This is really hard because my boys are into sports and I help coach their teams. Winter is my favorite time of year because I can hide under sweatshirts and stuff. I have been miserable and I've tried weight watchers and all kinds of diets to no avail. Now I find myself at a crossroads. Do nothing and continue to be miserable and gain weight or take control of my life and lose the weight. I've chosen to lose the weight, for myself and my children. Thank you for letting me vent!
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Hello everyone! I'm new here n have been reading everyone post. I'm from NJ and I will be having the duodenal switch surgery on Monday morning @ St Barnabas hospital. I'm very nervous n goung thru my ups n downs. But with prayer n my support team from my hubby my sister n children. I know I will be fine. Thank god I didn't have to do the pre op diet. I just gotta do a clear liquid all day Sunday. Well I will keep y'all posted.
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I am just 4 days post op and I have told very, very few people thus far. This is mainly because I'm a private person who doesn't chose to disclose much of my personal business to others. I have yet to decide how I will handle it down the road, I guess I'll go with whatever feels right at the time.
That being said, you have NOTHING to be embarrassed about. This is not the "easy way out" this is the ONLY way out. There is over a 97% long term failure rate for morbidly obese patients who try this through just diet / exercise. We all know this, because we are all part of that 97%. Conversely, there is a 80%-90% success rate in keeping at least 50% of the excess weight off over 5 years with surgery.
Would you be embarrassed if you had heart disease and needed surgery? How about kidney disease? Would you seek treatment for cancer? OF COURSE you would. WLS is the only known successful treatment of obesity.
I struggled coming to grips with this too. I also felt like a failure. I have managed to be very successful in every other aspect of my life I put my mind to. I kept holding out that if I just tried harder, I could do this on my own. But I can't. None of us can. It's not realistically possible.
Think of it this way. If this were your job, wouldn't you use every tool available to you to be successful? In fact, wouldn't you be negligent in NOT using the most effective tool to solve any problem? Why shouldn't that apply to your health? It's because of societies negative views of obesity, and the corresponding stereotypes. We're all lazy, stupid and pathetic. Except we're not. Don't buy into that hype. Take care of yourself.
It is precisely these reasons that I may chose to be more open about this down the road. To help change some peoples stereotypes. And to hopefully allow other people with this same issue to free themselves from those societal shackles.
You got this. Ignore the haters.
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I'm up for Apr 7th and have only told a few people. My changes have been pre-op. Smoking was the biggest. I had to be quit for 6?weeks prior. I was a lifer so that was a milestone. Also, I love Diet Pepsi so to have to give that up is also a milestone. I just keep telling myself the health benefits are well worth the sacrifice
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I've yet to fully tell my husband... don't feel like hearing" Extreme measures "for failure speech... again... so I truly understand the hesistation... Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G530AZ using the BariatricPal App

I haven't told anyone other than my wife. I don't really want to hear it either until I show everyone that it works and then let the cat out.
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I did decide to tell a couple of friends/family members/work colleagues because I am a pretty open person. Some of the reactions I got were not what I was hoping to hear. I heard it all, "dont get mad at me for saying this, but are you big enough", "its the easy way out", "are you really sure you want to do this, its a huge change," "you wont be able to go to the bar with me anymore," "you wont be able to have lunch dates with me anymore" "just diet and excercise, you have lost weight before, why cant you do that again" etc.. i can go on and on, and all that has done was give me the motivation to say "hey, all of you who have your doubts, screw you.. I am going to prove all of you wrong" Surgery is on Monday and I'm day 3 out of 5 into the liquid diet. For anyone who tells you you cant do it - its them becoming nervous that your going to change for the better. Them becoming jealous that you are improving your lifestyle and they maybe stuck where they are at. I have been anxious and nervous and doubtful for the entire 6 month process, and now that its finally here, I am ready to take the leap and change MY life. Because in the end it is YOUR life, not your friends, not your family, not your significant other. Do what you have to do to live happily. No one really knows what we all go through on a daily basis, only you know the real struggle. So do you and good luck! Rant over!

Hi jmc534, I too am in the process of having surgery. I am so ready. At first I worried but lately I've gone through a bad cycle of over eating that it has wiped all doubt away. Everything has been submitted to insurance and waiting for approval. I'm just so ready to get started. Good luck!
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It's going to be a huge change in lifestyle for me. I'm a beer drinker and I make my own beer at home. I'm really into craft beers and breweries and it is one of my passions. These types of beers carry a lot of calories, 250 calories and up each beer! Drinking and visiting breweries and hanging out watching football games on Sunday's with my friends is something I love to do but I know it's not healthy. I'm just scared of what the future will bring
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Hi everyone, I'm new to this forum so bare with me. I am in the process of getting ready for surgery for my weight loss. I'm 5' 9" and I weigh 290 lbs. My BMI is over 40 and I have severe obstructive sleep apnea. I am excited and nervous at the same time for the surgery. For some reason I am hesitant to tell people that I'm having the surgery. I feel embarrassed and I'm scared that people will question me and look at me strange when I lose the weight so quickly. Does anyone else feel this way? I now know that I need to do this for my health and quality of life, I'm just really scared of the changes I have to make in my life after the surgery i.e. eating, drinking alcohol etc... Thank you for any info you can pass along!
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Thank you for all the awesome comments from everyone! I love hearing the give and take from all of you. In reading some of the other stuff on the forum, the horror stories scare me but I know that they are pretty rare. I need to keep an open mind and look forward to the future!
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@@jmc534 I couldn't agree more. I'm about the same weight and feel the same about winter I'm more ashamed for what I've let happen to me than I am about having the surgery. I guess they go hand in hand to some extent. But it's time to take control and make myself better for me and my family. I want to be excited to do things with my kids and not dread it because of my weight or how I feel in my clothes.

I told everyone because "F**k what anyone else thinks!!"
I did this for me...
People can give me their opinions all they like..
It matters not...
My body...
My choice...
And OH MY GOD was it the right choice...
Do what you've gotta do to get yourselves happy and healthy...
Don't let the ignorant, uneducated people in your life dictate your behaviours and actions..

I'm in the early stages and have yet to meet with my surgeon. The only people I plan to tell are the ones who I'm going to have take me to the hospital. For work I'm going to just take some vacation time and tell them I'm going on vacation. I work from home and only go into the office about once a month. It will be starling when I come back from vacation losing a bunch of weight.

I have literally told 4 people. I know everyone at work will be all this and asking me what's going on... but I look at it like this.. would I go around telling people I'm having a nose job or face lift?? No.... so I will keep it private... my surgery date is March 29th btw...
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I'm scheduled for surgery 3/31 and feel the same way. I have decided I'm not going around telling everyone I run into that I'm having surgery but if someone asks I will be honest. I don't want to have to lie and I want to be proud of myself and the big changes I will be making. Not ashamed to admit I need some help. I think it's harder to admit that and do something about it than keep things the way they are. Nothing to be ashamed of, we are taking control of our lives and our health!! Be proud! You will not fail you will have great progress, we all will!

I would recommend seeking out some success stories and reading through about their journeys. That helped me when I was early on like you.
I think it's 100% normal to be nervous about the life changes. I view that as a good thing because you are really seeing the changes for the significant lifestyle changes that they are. I think that makes you so much more likely to be more successful than if you just viewed it as a minor thing and something that would not impact your life choices.
Just keep reminding yourself of why you want to do this and keep coming back to those reasons. That is what would get me through when I started second-guessing myself. Good luck!

Omg...I have the same feelings. I haven't told anyone because I dont want any negative comments or people saying all you have to do is......or....U not that big....u taking the easy way out...Blah blah blah...I'm already embarrassed that I couldn't do it by myself and have to have the sugery. I'm not even scared of the sugery just scared of what I will look like afterwards....I'm scared that I might fail like all the other time I tried....I'm really an emotional wreck...I just break out crying and I don't know why...My sugery is Tuesday I'm on my pre-op liquid diet...just doing alot of praying!!!
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