hungry4help

hi all... haven't visited this thread in awhile, but it's good to know it's always here. it's been a rough month. after 3+ years, my gf and i broke up. long story, but it was a mutual, albeit very painful, decision. damn, it sure was hard not to slide right off the rails. chocolate has always been my favorite anti-depressant and i really wanted to od on it during the last month. i can't say i stayed away from it completely, but i definitely did better than i had in the past. i managed to take my frustration out by playing tennis and going to the gym. (spin class produces an abundance of endorphins!) this banding process has made me painfully aware of how i've used food to medicate mood swings and ease loneliness. intellectually, that's not news to me. but because i'm now banded and because i haven't been using food as a numbing agent, my feelings seem more poignant and more sustained. i've been forced to navigate and endure my emotions in new ways. again, it ain't easy and i sometimes really miss my pals ben and jerry. i knew the band would make me physically healthier, but it's also upping my emotional iq. that's a pretty nice side effect.

went in for another fill yesterday (.5ccs) and it was my first pain free experience. my doc found my port in 1 try! it was such a relief. going in i was worried about the pain but also that i might have developed a leak with all the poking and near misses during previous attempts. luckily the 5ccs were still there. we added just a bit and i definitely feel more restricted, but am prolly another .5 away from being at my sweet spot. it's close, at least i hope it is. i hope everyone else is having a pain free time of it.

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hi tangerine... congrats on your weight loss. but as others here have mentioned, you do sound too tight. consuming mostly liquids seems to defeat the purpose of the band. does dr roslin know how restricted you are? (he's also my doctor.) maybe you just need a .5cc or less unfill? it might be worth checking in with him about. best of luck.

hi jaunderwood.... how did your fill go?

aww shucks, salsa. thanks! actually just went to weigh myself after my last post and i'm obese! never would have thought i'd actually be proud and happy about that!

well, i guess my rather painful flouroscopy experience paid off. i started back on solids 48 hours later and i definitely felt restriction. phew! i was beginning to feel like i'd never get there. i'd describe what i feel as rather moderate restriction. i haven't pb'ed or foamed and i have eaten some brown rice and Pasta. but i find that i get fuller faster and am sated much longer when i don't eat foods that are sauced. plus, as others have noted on the board, it eating slowly is key. i'm hoping this feeling lasts. in a pound or two i'll go from morbidly obese to plain old obese. i suppose it's kind of silly, but it feels like an important milestone. i should cross the line sometime next week.

yup, scar tissue is an issue for me too. my doc mentioned something about that being a possible explanation as to why it's so difficult to inject saline into my port. seems like scar tissue might be occluding the surface of my port. jaunder: not to worry, you'll get there. a loss is a loss, no matter what the number!

hi all... i was banded on 3/3 and was filled a little earlier than usual. unfortunately, starting early just meant i started having problems sooner. my otherwise extremely skilled surgeon (as well as his pa and another doctor in his practice) has had lots of difficulty accessing my port. apparently, due to the way my weight loss has gone and the slope/shape of my abdominal wall, my port tilts downward in a unusual way. translation: i've been, poked, prodded and left black and blue each and every time i've gone for a fill. i wouldn't have minded any of it if i'd reached restriction. sadly, i had squat to show for any of it. then yesterday, we finally resorted to a fill under fluoroscope. you'd think that would have made things easier and less painful, right?! alas, it took my surgeon, a radiologist, a fluoroscopic specialist, 2 lidocaine injections and nearly one hour to access my port, empty and refill it with 5ccs of saline. it was the most painful session to date. i'm a pretty stoic woman, but i locked myself in the bathroom stall afterwards and had a good cry. i'm on liquids for another day, so it's hard to tell if it worked. but i'm optimistic. they had me do a barium swallow afterwards to see what kind of restriction i have and from what i saw on the monitor, i should be at my sweet spot... at least for awhile! here's hoping the rest of you have less painful fills!

hi all... i was banded on 3/3 and was filled a little earlier than most. unfortunately, starting early just meant i started have problems sooner. my otherwise extremely skilled surgeon (as well as his pa and another doctor in his practice) has had lots of difficulty accessing my port. apparently, due to the way my weight loss has gone and the slope/shape of my abdominal wall, my port tilts downward in a strange way. translation: i've been, poked, prodded and left black and blue each and every time i've gone for a fill. i wouldn't have minded any of it if i'd felt any restriction. sadly, i had squat to show for any of it. then yesterday, we finally resorted to a fill under a fluoroscope. you'd think that would have made things easier and less painful, right?! alas, it took nearly my surgeon, a radiologist, a fluoroscopic specialist, 2 lidocaine injections and nearly one hour to access my port and fill it with 5ccs of saline. it was the most painful session to date. i'm a pretty stoic woman, but i locked myself in the bathroom stall afterwards and had a good cry. i'm on liquids for another day, so it's hard to tell if it worked. but i'm optimistic, especially since they had me do a barium swallow afterwards to see what kind of restriction i have. from what i saw on the monitor, i should be at my sweet spot... at least for awhile! here's hoping the rest of you have less painful fills!

hi juli... sorry to hear you're have the one year blahs. hell, i'm just two months out and i'm even beginning to feel them. i'm in need of a fill, for sure. but i too have been having a hard time emotionally accepting this new banded lifestyle. while i appreciate being more conscious about what i'm putting in my body, i just want to feel how normal people feel about food. that is to say, i don't want to obsess about an extra .5 ounces here or there, or feel guilty if i've had 3 rather than 2 bites of carbs. ugh. is this what i signed up for?! i guess it is. maybe making the band work means having to accept having portion sizes on the brain 24/7. maybe an attitude adjustment is just as important as a tweaking with a fill. sorry to rant. keep on keepin on, juli. i'm impressed that it took you a full year to feel the blahs that i'm already experiencing. yikes! and congrats on the century you're riding this weekend. i'm getting my roadbike overhauled and hope to get back in the saddle again.

congrats on your workouts and weight loss! very impressive. yup, i've had a few more fills than most. i've been pretty aggressive about getting them from my doctor. i figure, the reason i wanted the band in the first place was to help me control my portion sizes. unfortunately, i have yet to feel the restricted sweet spot so many on this site have described. i'm eating reasonably well (1200-1400 calories), playing tennis or going to spin class 5 out of 7 days, and i'm less hungry than i was pre-op. still, i wanted //and still want// more of an assist from my band. in fact, i'm debating if i should try for an additional .5ccs in a week or two. am roughly at 6ccs in a 14cc band now and i think another .5 to 1 will do the trick. we'll see what the doc says. but as the patient, i see it as my job to ask for what i want. his job: to let me know if what i want is medically advisable. so far, we haven't disagreed and i'm hoping to keep it that way. :-) again, congrats to one and all. fenton: kudos on the book!

hi seattle... i think a lot of us had trouble logging onto the site over the last 48 hours, so blame technical difficulties for the radio silence. as for your psych eval, don't sweat it. imho: be yourself. my appt was pretty straightforward with the therapist asking if i'd had weight probs most of my life, why i wanted to lose weight, what was the source of my overeating and what kind of support systems did i have in place. good luck and welcome

i can totally relate, RSG. i've been on an emotional roller coaster too. and even tho she's been awesome since surgery, i've been picking fights with my gf for a couple of weeks now. my solution: i've been going to a few more spin classes and playing as much tennis as i can afford in nyc (it ain't cheap!). being tired doesn't leave me much extra energy to be bitchy. :biggrin2:

hi evansmom and ronwifey... glad to hear everything is going well. i just had my third fill today. am on liquids until end of day tomorrow, so hard to tell if there's any added restriction. i sure hope there will be. good luck everyone. i love reading everyone's updates.

hi thenume and whitepants... i too was banded at lennox hill. i love how low key the office is and how it's typically not as crowded as other bariatric centers in the city. fyi: i read your earlier comments about the monthly support groups. i think the meeting is tonight 4/17, not next week. this will be my first meeting .hope to see you tonight or at some other session.

wow, glad they finally found it. my first fill took awhile too, but not a whole two hours. am glad they finally found it! i go for my 3rd fill tomorrow. best of luck, a

hi folks... feels like our posts have become few and far between. how is everyone? please check-in.

i'm a self-confessed foodie too and i worried that my lap-band would prevent me from enjoying foods i love. well, that was dumb. i'm only 1.5 months from surgery, so i haven't gone out to too many restaurants. still, i have managed a couple of outings. i'm realizing it's all about choosing wisely and eating slow. last night, we went out to babbo which is one of mario batali's places in the village. i've always loved the place, particularly it's amazing Pasta tasting menu. last night was the first time i've been back since being banded. gotta say, i was a little freaked out when i looked at the menu. i kept thinking, can i do this? should i do this? luckily, the earlier part of my day was pretty low-cal. so i had a big ol time with a grilled octopus antipasti and an appetizer-sized portion of chianti "stained" papparedelle with a wild boar ragout. it wasn't easy, but i managed to leave a little pasta on my plate. whatever extra calories i may have consumed were well worth it, IMHO. just to make sure i didn't overdo, i went to spin class today and hopped on the elliptical afterwards. it feels great to feel in control and act sensibly.

congrats, harley! "downgrading" from morbid to severe is one of my mini goals, too. today's nsv: i started putting aside several big black sweaters and other winter clothes that are too loose. i figure (hope) that they'll be of no use to me by next winter. can't wait to drop them off at the goodwill/salvation army! in other news, i caught myself crossing my legs the other day. i haven't been able to do that comfortably in a year or two. yay me.

hi folks... anyone out there banded at lennox hill hospital in nyc? would love to hear from any alumni of the program or from anyone considering it. if you're out there, raise your hands and drop a line!

there's been a lot of debate about the realize band vs the lap-band. i've got the newest band made by allergan, the AP which comes in a small (10cc) and a large (14cc). while it's new to the u.s., it's not exactly new. the j&j realize band has been in use abroad for many years. it remains little changed, tho it does have a slightly modified and lower profile port which has "teeth" that anchor into your abs. the biggest difference between the realize band and the lap-band brand is the amount of money spent on marketing and the design of their respective websites. the realize's site is far more user friendly and chock full of features and info that the lap-band's site just doesn't have. but i do take issue with the realize band's comparison to the lap-band on its website. i asked my doctor about it and he said that the realize's promo material is comparing itself to previous versions of the lap-band and not the more latest AP models. my surgeon showed me both models and described the differences between the port and anchoring systems. while it was ultimately my choice, i decided to go with the AP model. why? well i was kinda annoyed that j&j would compare apples to oranges on their site. why didn't they compare the realize with the AP? that seemed a little dicey to me. also, i liked that the AP had a full 360 degrees of coverage around the entrance to my stomach and was also somewhat taller than the realize band. as my doctor explained, the more contact area with a band's "balloon" the less likely a slippage is to occur. again, a lot of people here have the realize band and are quite happy with it. my advice: talk to your doctor and ask what s/he prefers, which model they have most experience installing and why they think one band may be better for your individual anatomy than another. also, you might want to kindly ask if they're receiving any incentives to install one brand vs another. it's easy enuf to ask that question without being accusatory and any reputable doctor shouldn't be offended by it. good luck.

am so close to my first mini goal that i can, um, almost taste it. i wanted to lose 30 lbs from when i first met with my lap-band surgery in mid feb. thankfully, i'm a little less than one pound away. am headed to the gym later today to see if i can get that off by monday. my other goal is to get to a bmi of under 40. that'll take another 10 lbs or so. one step at a time, right?! don't know what my reward will be, but i am planning on using my tax refund to get a month's worth of personal training sessions. i'd love to be a little more toned for the summer. but despite all the aesthetic issues, i already feel happier and healthier than i have in a long time. when i move or want to do something sporty, i no longer feel like my body is fighting me. that alone has already made this experience worthwhile.

hi teee.... try dr. fielding at new york university. he's an aussie and i've heard rumor that he'll perform fills on folks we didn't operate on. also, try dr. mitchell roslin at lennox hill hospital. he was my surgeon and i'm sure he's also helped folks who didn't start out as his patients. good luck!

i'd double check with your doc AND listen to how your body really feels. i was banded on 3/3 and got conflicting messages from my doctor(s). pre-op i played competitive tennis 2-3 times a week and was concerned that i'd be out of commission for a long time. (i was concerned enuf that i even asked my surgeon (chief of the obesity program at lennox hill hospital in nyc) to place my port on my left side rather than on my right so as not to interfere with my forehand!) anyways, despite the fact that tennis uses a lot of one's core muscles, he told me it would fine to play a week after surgery. i was in no way ready to do that and actually e-mailed him to tell him he was nuts to give me the all clear. it has since become a running joke between us. i did manage to play 2 weeks out. i sucked, but i played. having said all that, my doc also told me not to lift more than 20lbs at a time and refrain from ab work. his orders were easy to follow, since i really didn't feel like lifting weights. instead i used resistance bands to keep my shoulders and biceps strong. an update: had my second fill today and am cleared to start lifting weights and get some ab work in. am looking forward to it, but plan to take it a little slow. this is my rather long winded way of saying, check-in with your doctor, but listen to how your body responds when you ask it to move in ways that it's not accustomed to. sorry for the rambling post!