heidikat72

Today I grilled some chicken thighs because I feed 6 and some like the dark meat, and I skewed some chicken breasts (cut in chunks)with red onion, whole mushrooms and green and red peppers, all basted with a mango, peach salsa! Threw on some jimmy buffet, bob Marley and Zac Brown and had the grandest of times!!! Who would've thunk?

I had to drop off a prescription today while on my lunch break. I walk up to the automatic doors and darn near run face first into the glass. It's not one of the pressure pad type doors, rather it is the black eye above the door type. I take a step back and wait for it to open and nothing happens. I have to wave my hands for a moment before it recognizes anyone is there!
I'm sure that it was just dirty, but for a moment I thought that I was too small to register!

On Saturday I ran 10 miles for my half marathon training! I'd been dreading it all week, because 9 miles the previous weekend had been really tough, but I feel like I had some sort of breakthrough with the 10 miles. I felt like I could have kept going (which I guess is good, because I'll have to keep going soon!). My half marathon is only 5 weeks away now and I am really starting to believe I'll be able to actually do it!

Definitely take the time to focus on yourself and your health. I commend you on realizing this. So often when dealing with tragedy of any sort, we do just the opposite and spiral out of control (I know I did). I would suggest seeking some counseling. Not only to deal with the grief but also all the changes you'll be going through after surgery including working on the "head hunger" that will still be telling you that you want to eat that whole T-bone steak.
And definitely come to this site whenever you need additional support (and to update us on your journey). There are a lot of truly wonderful people on this site who inspire with their stories as well as give compassionate real advice - even when sometimes it can be hard advice to hear. also, letting your wife read some of the posts on here may help alleviate some of her worry.

Definitely take the time to focus on yourself and your health. I commend you on realizing this. So often when dealing with tragedy of any sort, we do just the opposite and spiral out of control (I know I did). I would suggest seeking some counseling. Not only to deal with the grief but also all the changes you'll be going through after surgery including working on the "head hunger" that will still be telling you that you want to eat that whole T-bone steak.
And definitely come to this site whenever you need additional support (and to update us on your journey). There are a lot of truly wonderful people on this site who inspire with their stories as well as give compassionate real advice - even when sometimes it can be hard advice to hear. also, letting your wife read some of the posts on here may help alleviate some of her worry.

I know as a woman I have been socialized to only go for things I know I can do well rather than try something I think I can do.
After many years I have seen so many men get jobs/promotions with less education, experience, skill, just because their egos have no problem claiming expertise in areas where they have none.
Not that I want to misrepresent my skills and a abilities, but I am trying to learn to be more confident in presenting them.
Being an obese woman was never a benefit. Now that I am regaining my health and fitness I intend to go for it!

Sending hugs.
For what it is worth (I am single, never married):
It is ok to cry and grieve over the end of your marriage.
It is ok to be miserable for a while.
You do not have to decide anything today.
You are going through a tremendous amount of stress and change: WLS, weight loss, work, living situation, and your marriage dissolving.
Rather than jumping blindly into the dating pool, why not take some time to grieve and heal (physically, emotionally, spiritually)?
Do you have a good counselor or therapist?
You might also want to look for a good bariatric support group and/or 12-step recovery group like OA (OA.org).
When you are emotionally stronger, then you can be better able to rationally date.
You are not doomed to be alone the rest of your life. You get to choose whether or not you date or seek a new, healthy relationship.
In the meantime, why not find out how strong and awesome you are by yourself?
Again, it is ok to cry and grieve.
Keep us posted on how you are doing.

I ran on the treadmill for the first time ever. It was short bursts throughout my workout, but I did it. I would not have even thought about running 12 months ago!! I did it!!! I am excited that I could do it and that I actually wanted to do it!!! I was sleeved in June 2015 and I am down 91 pounds. I feel great and can do so much more than I ever thought I would be able to do!!! I am loving my "new life"!!!!!

Some Protein powders like the Syntrax fruit flavors are actually better mixed with Water.
As for mixing powdered milk to the Protein powders and then just adding Water, that's a great idea. I did that last time I Went on vacation. I NEED to get in a certain amount of insoluble Fiber every day to stay regular. I brought along a mixture of powdered skim milk, vanilla protein powder, ground flax seed and apple Fiber in a tupperware container and added a certain amount to water every morning for Breakfast. Worked great. I also make a protein hot chocolate powder with dry milk, protein powder, cocoa powder and sweetener. Just add water for a yummy chocolatey treat.

My first thought is that the dude is married and chickened out...luckily for both of you. Understandably frustrating, but you dodged a bullet.

they really just want to establish a history of where you have attempted nonsurgical weight loss but haven't been able to maintain the weight loss. At my first appointment I told the nutritionist about my two most recent attempts. the first being 6 months on nutrisystem where I lost 40lbs but instead of being able to reduce my blood pressure and cholesterol meds, I actually ended up having to increase my dosages on both. Since the reason I was trying to lose weight was to reduce those meds, I got frustrated and stopped the program and immediately gained all the weight back. Then more recently, I did a completely vegan diet for about 10 months - lost 70lbs but had severe Hair loss, didn't feel all that great (was constantly getting colds etc) and struggled with getting in enough Protein on a strictly vegan diet. Overall, I just couldn't maintain living completely vegan and then underwent several traumatic events in my life where I returned to bad eating habits and gained all the weight back plus more. That was all she needed to hear. My advice would be to be honest with them.

It took me a long time to go down a size too. If you are like I was when I started, in the plus sizes, there is a BIG gap between sizes. The difference between a 22 and a 24 is a lot more than the difference between an 8 and a 10. Also, if you are like me, you were probably straining the upper end of that size you were wearing pre-op.

no doubt a frustrating process. I have BCBS (a different plan than yours) and have a 6 month medically supervised period. The day I had the ECG (which was normal) the cardiologist said he wanted me to have a stress test and echo. It was scheduled for the following week. A two month lead time seems utterly ridiculous! Plus it makes absolutely no sense to have to do the echo on a different day. Here's how my stress test/echo appt went (note I did the pharmacological stress test not a treadmill test)
Appt was for 10:00am, I arrived early and was called back at about 10:05am.
I answered a few history questions, they took my blood pressure and weight and explained in detail how the test would be done.
Then I got an IV line put in and they injected the dye used for contrast for the stress test. You have to wait 45 minutes for the dye to work it's way through before they take the baseline pictures.
So DURING that 45 minute wait, I got the echo done.
Then the baseline pictures.
Then they injected the more contrast dye and the drug to 'stress" my system. They monitored my blood pressure and heart rate for 5 minutes while the stress drug worked it's magic. Then I got to have some juice and a snack. about 20 minutes after injection, they took the final pictures.
I was completely done within 2.5hrs. I met with the cardiologist again 3 days later to go over the results (I could have opted to just receive the report and not meet with the cardiologist).
Note that the cardiologist recommending the stress test and echo does not necessarily mean there is anything of concern. Mine for instance, simply does it for ALL bariatric surgery patients to have a complete picture to make the risk assessment. He even told me there would have had to have been something majorly wrong for him to not recommend the surgery. He just wants to make sure the real risk level is known so that all parties (him, the surgeon and YOU) can make an informed decision.
All that being said, in the long run - yes this is frustrating, but the end game is worth all the pre-op frustration. Hang in there and keep jumping through all the hoops. You'll get there.

"Not knowing your company, but maybe you could serve as an advocate to your company and see if they can change their policy on weight loss surgery."
I was just about to suggest what innersurfergirl already did above!
You are such an inspiration on this site. I always appreciate your comments and posts and the way you keep it real.

I make Protein ice cream about twice a week. It's my favorite evening treat i put whatever protein shake i like at the time in the blender on high till it doubles, turn on the ice cream maker then slowly pour the shake mix in - i have protein ice cream in about 16 minutes for soft serve. I put it in the freezer for an hour or so for scoopable.

I wasn't really any one thing for me but a gradual build. Probably the first big one was when my boyfriend of 3 years (we'd been friends for 2 years prior to dating) passed away in 2013 and I realized I didn't have a single picture of the two of us...not one. Because I hated having my picture taken.
Flash forward to last summer and the weight finally taking a real toll on my mobility. I couldn't work in the volunteer garden at work (we donate the produce we grow to local foodbanks) as much as I wanted to because just the short walk from the building to the garden had me out of breath and in pain. And it kept getting worse, to the point where some days I skipped lunch because I was in too much pain to walk down to the cafeteria and back.
and then the final one was shortly after I attended an info session but hadn't scheduled my first appointment yet. I went down to Va to see my family for thanksgiving. That Saturday my nephew and his wife asked me to attend the Christmas fair at the local amusement park (Busch Gardens in Williamsburg) with them and their two little girls. I so desperately wanted to join them but knew that I wouldn't even be able to handle the walk from the parking area to the entrance let alone all around the park. So I made up an excuse and decline, hurting their feelings in the process. As soon as I got home, I called and scheduled my first appointment with the surgical team. I don't want to miss out on any more memories with my grandnieces!

"Not knowing your company, but maybe you could serve as an advocate to your company and see if they can change their policy on weight loss surgery."
I was just about to suggest what innersurfergirl already did above!
You are such an inspiration on this site. I always appreciate your comments and posts and the way you keep it real.

I wasn't really any one thing for me but a gradual build. Probably the first big one was when my boyfriend of 3 years (we'd been friends for 2 years prior to dating) passed away in 2013 and I realized I didn't have a single picture of the two of us...not one. Because I hated having my picture taken.
Flash forward to last summer and the weight finally taking a real toll on my mobility. I couldn't work in the volunteer garden at work (we donate the produce we grow to local foodbanks) as much as I wanted to because just the short walk from the building to the garden had me out of breath and in pain. And it kept getting worse, to the point where some days I skipped lunch because I was in too much pain to walk down to the cafeteria and back.
and then the final one was shortly after I attended an info session but hadn't scheduled my first appointment yet. I went down to Va to see my family for thanksgiving. That Saturday my nephew and his wife asked me to attend the Christmas fair at the local amusement park (Busch Gardens in Williamsburg) with them and their two little girls. I so desperately wanted to join them but knew that I wouldn't even be able to handle the walk from the parking area to the entrance let alone all around the park. So I made up an excuse and decline, hurting their feelings in the process. As soon as I got home, I called and scheduled my first appointment with the surgical team. I don't want to miss out on any more memories with my grandnieces!

I have not wanted to have my picture taken for over 20 years. Now after losing 160 pounds, I traveled to Washington DC to meet with my Senators about topics very important to my heart and soul.

They took pictures and for the first time not only did I not shy away from the camera but I actually was willing to share it through social media. This is the first time I have ever done that.

I still have a lot to lose, but this is huge for me. I do a lot of advocacy and have always done it in the background.

Now I finally feel comfortable being in the spotlight.

Who else is now willing to have their pic taken?

This is so awesome! And what a cool experience. You will definitely need to share this with more than social media. Now you can start a brag wall!
I rarely post pictures of myself to social media but posted a selfie yesterday. My aunt literally didn't recognize me.

What a great way to pay it forward! Have you thought about being a motivational speaker? I know you would be a great one based on your writings I read. Good move in using the company gym too. Just curious was anyone else working out there too?

I was leaving work yesterday after a long day.
Tired. Ready to get to my vehicle and make the interstate commute home. Was already thinking about my playlist for the ride home.
I am a production supervisor in a large manufacturing plant. At one time, I seemed to know everyone there....and know them fairly well. The place has expanded and grown significantly over the years. Lots of new faces.
So, I'm walking down the main aisle with my tired mind lost in my thoughts about my music and a couple phone calls I needed to make to arrange some schedule changes. Waving at and speaking briefly with some folks as I walked on by. Nearing the main plant entrance I hear a horn blow and look back and see a dude riding up on his material handling cart. He's a big guy, too. Appears to be fairly tall, young and really, really heavy. He's taking off his work gloves and extending his hand.
We introduce ourselves and he said he's seen me around the plant and I'd been losing a large amount of weight and he was simply hoping I'd share how with him.
I was straight up with him and gave him a fast rundown of the my sleeve surgery process and how, where, why it unfolded like it did. I was 100% honest with him and broke down the costs and how our insurance was not so great.....covering only 50% of the actual surgery cost, but not the related tests and things that are required. I told him how it was actually significantly cheaper for me to have self funded the deal. Crazy scenario, but true. I urged him to pursue a couple different avenues for finding out further information on how to fund the surgery.
He had very specific questions as to what I could eat, what I could take for meds and what I could drink. He wanted to know what days off were like and what working days felt like.
We talked for at least 30 minutes and I tried to think of the the things he'd not asked that I could answer, too.
He thanked me profusely and I can say that I instantly felt like the last 14 hour workday was erased.....I had recharged my batteries. I felt absolutely great. I can only hope that he'll be able to sort things out and find out the information that he needs to find out to better make his battle plan.
So....I'm almost out the main entrance....but then veer on a new course. I stopped off at the nice gym we have at work and spent 30 mins working out before refilling my 30 oz water bottle and getting in the car for the well hydrated ride home.
Life is good. I am grateful for each day....but yesterday was really cool. I looked at this guy and could see in him the same desire to change that I had......the same confusion as to how......and I'm hoping that things will line up for him. I know that our HR department and our benefits are lacking in regards to wls. I need to study up on the various financing options and have this information readily available....contact info and such so I can be better prepared for the next such conversation I have with potential wls candidates.
Thanks for reading my ramblings.
I hope that today brings another such conversation with someone like this young guy. I hope that each of you have this experience and can feel a sense of calm and relief in the person you are talking to. It is a powerful moment and one that is very rewarding.
To date, it's one of the very best NSV's I've had.

Well......you can always wait around and become as bad off as I did a dozen or more years down the road.
If I'd have taken action of some substantial and fundamental way at age 33......I would't have found myself feeling old and broke down by my mid 40's. It took finally being wiped out with the fun symptoms of a disc injury that finally, finally got me focused on making a lifestyle change.
I went with a sleeve.
I have only one regret. One.
It is why....why.....why did my stubborn arse not do this much sooner ????
I'm just now able to reflect back and uncover some of the reasons I didn't take that action at 33. Part of it was that I had great self esteem and was very active. 60+ workweeks on average, days spent hunting, golfing, fishing, boating, etc. If something fun popped up on the radar.....count me in. I was there. At some point, however.....the bad eating habits and activity level just failed to be in sync and I failed to reconcile this. I knew how to lose weight and would do so......but discipline was like a switch that was thrown own and off.......and when it was off, wow.....serious pounds would show up.
Health issues and recovery from these really narrowed down my fun. Since there was no formal gym time taking place....and the fun outdoors had always been my main source of activity....bad situations occurred.
Now I'm starting to get back to where I need to be. The sleeve has been a most powerful tool. I realize now that my health isn't the only benefit I'm seeing. Turns out that I was having serious self esteem issues as well. I was letting myself stay stuck in rut......carved out a pattern of living and was hiding within the confines of this small window of life.
Now....I am going through examining everything about my life....it's all on the table. It's all up for negotiation. The unhealthy aspects are being eliminated. I'm finding that change is needed and I no longer fear that change. Some of the changes are small.......some are tremendous and a little bit scary. It's been a great time of self discovery and examination of what I'd like to do to set myself up for the future.
Spare yourself the next decade of sliding off into bad habits and unhealthy way of living. I went down that road and paid the price. I was absolutely blessed to be allowed this second chance.
I'm not saying to have surgery. Only you can make that decision. Gain the most insight and educate yourself as much as possible before committing to wls. Don't hesitate to make a change, though. Commit to getting healthy and act on this. Put forth the effort in ways that are safe and will give results. If you are not already doing so...then begin frequent exercise and establish a good way of eating. Get these fundamental behaviors in place on your own.......you'll need them if you do decide to have wls....and you'll benefit from them anyway.
I wish you the very best and hope that you gain support from your family. They may have to warm up to the idea and be better informed as to what wls surgery is and what it can offer. Seeing you become dedicated to healthy behaviors will certainly help gain their support.
You are among friends here, too. This is a very special place with some of the coolest people I've ever had the pleasure of knowing.