heidikat72

Thanks for the comments and support. yes, logically I KNOW it is just about improving myself. The whole reason I'm in the class is because of how unfit I am and yes, at my weight exercise at first is going to be a struggle. Like I said, logically I know all this...emotionally was a different story yesterday. But today when I leave work, I'll be putting my sneakers on and walking...and walking and walking. And next Thursday at 7am I'll be right there in Philly sweating and huffing and puffing.
And honestly, I'm kinda surprised I was able to hold a plank for even a second and was able to get up off the floor without needed something for support to pull myself up. So there is that.

I probably could, but why would I?

Mind over matter Chica Dee.
You got this !!!
Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G870A using the BariatricPal App

Thanks for the comments and support. yes, logically I KNOW it is just about improving myself. The whole reason I'm in the class is because of how unfit I am and yes, at my weight exercise at first is going to be a struggle. Like I said, logically I know all this...emotionally was a different story yesterday. But today when I leave work, I'll be putting my sneakers on and walking...and walking and walking. And next Thursday at 7am I'll be right there in Philly sweating and huffing and puffing.
And honestly, I'm kinda surprised I was able to hold a plank for even a second and was able to get up off the floor without needed something for support to pull myself up. So there is that.

Have you checked out bento boxes? They're a cool way to pack little portions

Girl, I can't do a lot of those things very well and I am down 135 pounds! Seriously, don't beat yourself up and remember that you have a headstart on surgery this way PLUS you will have come so much farther in 12 weeks! @@KindaFamiliar is right - you will drive yourself nuts comparing yourself to others. You just have to compare yourself to the past you. I man do I hear you about flashbacks to gym class but don't let it derail you. We (or most of us) have allowed these head games to derail us because "what's the point" is what we tell ourselves. Don't let that happen to you. Take a few quiet moments to yourself and reflect on what you WERE able to do and not what you WEREN'T able to do and picture what it will be like to be able to do all this in 12 weeks. And then promise you will come back and post on this very post and update us in 12 weeks on how you did.

Let me ask you this...... before this class this morning when was the last time you exerted yourself ?
We are in this together and we are doing this because we are out of shape. Not a single one of us would be here if we had been running marathons, being in the gym everyday or doing laps in a pool all the time.
Hell, a few weeks ago we had a fire alarm go off and I had to run up 3 stories to clear the floor that I am responsible for. I WAS OUT OF GAS BY THE SECOND ONE !!! And I felt it in my legs the next day.
We are all in this together !!
Keep your chin up because you can do THIS !!
Screw anyone that looks at you sideways or thinks otherwise.
As you go through this 12 week class you will get faster, more flexible, stronger and have better stamina !!
Think how amazing that will feel !
Then after your surgery you will be walking. Then after awhile your speed will increase. Faster and faster until you break into a run for a minute. Then 2 minutes.... Then 3 minutes....
You got this !!!

We all start at different places on this journey. Some of us were active before we started our journey, but couldn't seem to lose and keep the weight off. Others weren't so active and couldn't seem to lose and keep the weight off. We all come to the same place for the same reason: we want to gain a tool that will help us live stronger, more vibrant, healthy lives. I know people from my support groups that could not have walked across the room before their surgery because of being out of shape, ill, injured, or whatever. All of them have made remarkable fitness strides, but some still can't walk without walkers, while others are running half marathons. My point is that it is all about improvement from where you were.
I was walking 5ks regularly before I had surgery. Over the years I had also had a personal trainer. I tried really hard to lose the weight on my own, including exercising 2 hours a day, but I still weighed 280+ and had a BMI of 40+. I am close now to being able to run a 5k (3.1 miles), but I will never be fast. I am only out to prove to myself what I can do with the body I have at this time and place. When I first started running in January, I could barely run for even 1 minute and I was walking 3 mph. Over the past three months, I have improved to where this Monday I ran for 20 minutes straight totaling 1.5 miles! And I now can sustain a walk at 3.7-3.8 mph. (I can walk as fast as 4 mph, but I can't sustain it for very long). I could easily have quit when I couldn't run for a minute, but this journey is about making changes to improve our lives. No matter what changes you want to make, you have to start where you are. You can't start anywhere else. And then you grow and change from there.
We all got to where we are/were somehow and now we are taking control of our futures. You have made and amazing start to taking control of your life with this class. This is about where you are in the journey and not anyone else. Keep working out on your own. For so many reasons, you will reap bigger benefits when you reach postop. You have nowhere but up to go from your first class. Follow through on it. Maybe this is just my issue, but pre surgery, I would plan to stick to an exercise/diet plan, but inevitably I would quit without completing it. The sense of accomplishment from making a goal (improving over the next 12 weeks) will be so valuable for your self image as you move from preop to postop. We all need that kind of validation no matter where we are in the journey.
You can do it. The journey begins with a single step. Surgery was your first. This class is another one.
pam

So Penn Medicine where I'm going to get my surgery is doing a 12 week exercise research study on pre-op patients. I apparently lost my mind at the last support group meeting and signed up for the study. First session was this morning (it is once a week for the 12 weeks).
I know it is about making progress over the 12 weeks and not trying to match or outperform anyone other than doing better than my performance today. It was still just so frustrating and depressing that in a class of obese people awaiting surgery, I was still the least fit by far. We started with a plank test. I could barely hold the position for 12 seconds...12 teeny tiny seconds, that's it. Most people did around 30, one lady went over 2 minutes! Then there was the 6 minute walk test - basically up and down the hallway as many times as we could in 6 minutes. I didn't really count how many laps but I was seriously huffing and puffing by the time the 6 minutes were up. We did it in pairs, and the lady beside almost lapped me. Granted a few months ago I would not have been able to do the distance I did today.
And then some of the exercises we did afterward - push ups, squats, lunges and some other exercises down on our knees on the floor. Some I them I couldn't even do the number of repetitions we were supposed to because my knee hurt so bad having that much pressure on it pressing against the hard floor.
So I left feeling very defeated. Even during, I had flashbacks to middle and high school gym class where I struggled, especially with the dreaded yearly presidential physical fitness tests - I was always the worst in the class.
Again, I know it is about making progress, just right now I feel so far behind and wondering how I'm going to manage next week when after 30 minutes of those exercises, we go outside on the streets of Philly and walk for 30 minutes. Like in public, with other people on the streets. How am I even going to keep up with the rest of the class? I know my poor performance from today proves how much I do need this class, just worried about whether I can even do it...
Sorry for the long post, just needed to vent and get it out.

So Penn Medicine where I'm going to get my surgery is doing a 12 week exercise research study on pre-op patients. I apparently lost my mind at the last support group meeting and signed up for the study. First session was this morning (it is once a week for the 12 weeks).
I know it is about making progress over the 12 weeks and not trying to match or outperform anyone other than doing better than my performance today. It was still just so frustrating and depressing that in a class of obese people awaiting surgery, I was still the least fit by far. We started with a plank test. I could barely hold the position for 12 seconds...12 teeny tiny seconds, that's it. Most people did around 30, one lady went over 2 minutes! Then there was the 6 minute walk test - basically up and down the hallway as many times as we could in 6 minutes. I didn't really count how many laps but I was seriously huffing and puffing by the time the 6 minutes were up. We did it in pairs, and the lady beside almost lapped me. Granted a few months ago I would not have been able to do the distance I did today.
And then some of the exercises we did afterward - push ups, squats, lunges and some other exercises down on our knees on the floor. Some I them I couldn't even do the number of repetitions we were supposed to because my knee hurt so bad having that much pressure on it pressing against the hard floor.
So I left feeling very defeated. Even during, I had flashbacks to middle and high school gym class where I struggled, especially with the dreaded yearly presidential physical fitness tests - I was always the worst in the class.
Again, I know it is about making progress, just right now I feel so far behind and wondering how I'm going to manage next week when after 30 minutes of those exercises, we go outside on the streets of Philly and walk for 30 minutes. Like in public, with other people on the streets. How am I even going to keep up with the rest of the class? I know my poor performance from today proves how much I do need this class, just worried about whether I can even do it...
Sorry for the long post, just needed to vent and get it out.

When I finally hit my fighting weight and things show signs of leveling off and maintaining......I will thoroughly enjoy going somewhere like Joseph A. Banks and buying a few suits.

I'm not at goal yet, but I always wanted to shop in Victoria's Secret, got that around Thanksgiving. Gap was another wish, bought one thing there and lost interest. I've browsed in the limited, express and forever 21, just haven't bought anything in there yet.
I really want to go to a boutique type store (not a chain) and be able to buy something. Just haven't been to one yet

I just want to be able to buy nice clothes in a regular store.
I would LOVE to own at least one designer dress (Dior, Balmain, or similar) in my lifetime.

ohh yes.. vintage thrift stores!!! Something i've always wanted to do, but haven't had the body for., yay!

Truth is, most of us were big hot messes pre-op.

sadly most people are selfish and come to work when sick without any regard to impacting their coworkers (not to mention not realizing they are probably staying sick longer themselves by doing that). you can't force them to stay home. you just have to do everything you can to boost your own immune system. Lysol your area like you said, take likes of Vitamin C - and even the airborne supplement. I think it works great as a preventative, doesn't help much once you've already gotten sick. I keep a supply of it at my desk and when a typhoid mary type comes into work, I start taking it!

So for the first time in my life (57 years old) I passed out. Fainted, face planted...whatever you want to call it. I was with my sister on line waiting to purchase tickets to a show we want to see. Was doing fine...my sister, who is obese, was sweating and had to take off her coat. This is what happens to her when we're just walking quickly, which we were. Doesn't happen to me anymore. I stood on line with her with my jacket closed and not a drop of perspiration (thank you lapband!!) Suddenly I got light-headed and dizzy. Sounded like everything was under Water and told sis I needed to sit down. That was the last thing I remember till I woke up with sis in my face calling my name.
The theater manager called 911 even though I asked them not to. The EMTs come running in, take off my coat, put a BP cuff on and ask me questions. I know they're checking my cognitive function. They knew I was OK when they asked me to get in the ambulance so they could do a quick ECG and I said OK as long as my sister stayed on line for the tickets.
So..here's the NSV. First one...no embarrassment over this. No feeling like ugh..the fat woman is sick. She must have done something to herself. No one staring at me..only concern on their faces. Second NSV..Being able to climb into the ambulance. Never had to do that before and I know that when I was heavy, it would have been impossible. Third...no worry that the BP cuff would fit. Fourth..no worry when they asked me to sit on the 'bed' which was really just a shelf with a plastic cushion. Fifth...and truly the best NSV...the relief that my weight would not be an issue or even be mentioned. I'm normal sized now and that's what everyone sees.
So I'm fine today and will wait to see if my doctor wants me to come in. I did tell the nurse what happened and she said she'd let me know if I need to come in. But that's not really the point. The point is that I felt like a normal person and was treated like a normal person in a rather unusual situation. Those of you who are/were morbidly obese as I used to be will understand where I'm coming from.

The other thing to remember is surgery is just the beginning. Even if he "caved in" and had surgery, he would still be responsible for following through with the lifestyle changes, just like you have. He has to want it for himself; no amount of love and encouragement from you can do it for him.

Take the weight out of the equation: Your husband is in poor health, unable to do things he once enjoyed, you're now in a sexless marriage, and he's in denial about a serious health issue that he is doing nothing to remedy.
Your husband is so deep in denial about his health, he's allowed it to make his world smaller and smaller, and at some point, he will withdraw from life so much that he abandons his family and his spouse. He's already begun this with the sex/intimacy - and it only gets worse from here on out.
He needs to change; but he is the only one that can make that happen.
I agree you both need marriage counseling, but he also might need the doctor flat out telling him that he is fooling himself right now, and without doing some DRASTIC changes regarding food/portion control and exercise, he will not only suffer and die early, but he will chase away the only people that truly love and care for him.
If it was me in this position, I would tell him that I love him, that I am willing to do whatever it took to help him, but if he makes no effort himself, I see that he doesn't love me, or himself, or our relationship enough to do the hard work necessary. Saying he's working on it and actually working are two different things. He's shown you that he'd rather stay the weight he is and blame everything around him (weak wood? Breaking a CAR seat? OMFG no that's serious denial) than make any real effort. He's given up on having sex with his spouse - that is physical and emotional abandonment right there... what is your line in the sand? At what point do you tell him "I love you, but this is not what I thought our life would be like and I'm not willing to accept this any more."
If he persists in this path after counseling and serious, blunt discussions on what you deserve in a marriage as well from your spouse don't wake him up, then he needs to walk the path he's chosen alone. I personally wouldn't be a party to the self destructive, fantasyland behavior he's participating in (and I am coming from a slightly similar background with a husband that had a serious health issue he was in denial about, that caused some marital issues, and came down to a serious "I love you, but we're looking at divorce if you don't make changes" discussion).
I am so sorry you're going through this. I hope somehow he can see the light and make the changes necessary to get healthy and become a true partner in your marriage, but you have to also take care of yourself. EVERYONE deserves to be in a relationship with a loving, happy partner that cares about the state of their relationship enough to make changes when possible. Yours is not, and it will slowly poison everything around you unless he changes or you leave.

Those who don't want help simply can't be helped....
I was the same...
Didn't want help...
Certainly didn't NEED it...
As it turned out, I sorted myself out...
I hope he does too..

Here is my bariatric study:
My brother died of a heart attack at age 47, when he weighed 420 pounds.
My mother died at age 67 (just three years older than I am now) of an abdominal aortic aneurysm when she weigh 320 pounds at 5'2" tall. Her mother, who was not overweight died at the age of 98, and she would have lived longer if she had not broken her hip and gotten pneumonia.
Other grandparents, aunts, and uncles who were not overweight lived well into their mid-eighties and early nineties.
Many of my 60 first cousins have already died of overweight-related health issues in their late forties to early sixties.
My older sister weighed about 300 pounds when she graduated high school in 1968 and gained another 100 pounds after that. She got a gastric bypass 15 years ago and is still doing well at age 67 (the age Mother died).
I had the sleeve at age 62 because I just do not want to be done yet. I have grandchildren that I want to see grow up.
One of my younger sisters who weighed close to 400 pounds got a band three years ago. She lost enough weight to get to a size 12, got a Tummy Tuck, breast lift and all that - and looks awesome! She is healthier and happier than she has ever been.
So, my family is my example for life-span. I know I have greatly increased my odds for a longer life with good quality of life.

I have often wondered about long term studies that show longevity rates between people who choose to do WLS versus those who do not. I have not actually seen these studies, but I did find a few interesting articles on the ASMBS website.... I cut and pasted a portion of one below and put in a link to it. Interesting. What I can't tell from the summary is if it was a comparison of people over a certain BMI or what.... but at least its an indication.
That same area of the ASMBS website has several good sensible, easy to follow articles on weight loss surgery - the various types, myths etc.
http://asmbs.org/patients/benefits-of-bariatric-surgery
Improved Longevity
Several large population studies find that individuals affected by severe obesity who have had bariatric surgery have a lower risk of death than individuals affected by obesity who do not have surgery. One of these studies found up to an 89 percent greater reduction in mortality throughout a 5-year observation period for individuals who had bariatric surgery when compared to those who did not. Another large population study comparing mortality rates of bariatric and non-bariatric patients found a greater than 90 percent reduction in death associated with diabetes and a greater than 50 percent reduction in death from heart disease.
The mortality rate for bariatric surgery (3 out of 1000) is similar to that of a gallbladder removal and considerably less than that of a hip replacement. The exceptionally low mortality rate with bariatric surgery is quite remarkable considering that most patients affected by severe obesity are in poor health and have one or more life-threatening diseases at the time of their surgery. Therefore, as regards mortality, the benefits of surgery far exceed the risks.

I tried to take a "bathroom mirror selfie" the other day but my tiny bathroom/ laundry space wouldn't allow it...
I was going thru some clothes and throwing out my fat shirts when I thought I'd try one on...
Wow...
I really have lost some weight...
I mean, I'm still a big dude..
But what the f**k??!!?
I was THAT big??
A little perspective goes a long way!
(I guess that's true on many levels)
Anyway, I'll try over this long weekend to take a pic or two...

So my pre-surgery clothes are becoming extra big. I even had one of my freshmen tell me that my pants were big on me today. What do you all think?  
I must say I'm really happy that I won't be wearing these pants to work anymore.
Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Success after weight loss surgery is no accident. It is the result of a lot of hard work and careful planning on your part. While of course it depends on a skillful surgeon, your post-op success depends most heavily on you.
You can begin to set yourself up for satisfying weight loss and preventing regain long before your surgery date. Here are some ideas for building that solid foundation that will make your weight loss surgery journey smoother and more satisfying.


Choose the right surgeon.
If weight loss surgery is the tool, your bariatric surgeon is the one who makes the tool and gives it to you. You want a tool that is made precisely, ready to do the job, and built to last. Your surgeon needs to make the right cuts and place the band properly or make a tight, solid sleeve or pouch. So, look for a surgeon who is experienced and has a good track record of successful patients and low complication rates – don’t be afraid to ask!
There’s more to choosing a surgeon than technical skills. Also, consider what else the surgeon will do for you. The right surgeon for you is willing to discuss your options and the procedure with you in a way that you can understand. You’re setting yourself up for extra challenges if you’re afraid to talk to your surgeon or your surgeon is unavailable.
Get the scoop on the diet.
Your diet is central to every part of the weight loss surgery journey. You may be told to lose some weight before surgery as a test to make sure you’ll follow the rules post-op. Then there’s the pre-op liquid diet to shrink your liver for a safer surgery. Next, for faster healing and fewer side effects, you need to follow the post-op progression from liquids to pureed foods to solid foods. Finally, there’s the nutrient-dense, low-calorie diet to help you hit goal weight and stay there.
At best, you will have a surgeon or a nutritionist who gives you plenty of information. Since that’s not always the case, you may need to take steps to figure out the diet for yourself. You can look online, and may need to shell out the money for a few appointments with a nutritionist. Not knowing the right foods to eat can set you up for surgery complications and disappointing weight loss.
Take responsibility.
It’s nice to depend on a stellar surgeon and complete healthcare team to walk you through surgery and beyond step by step. Ideally, your trusted surgeon would explain your options to you and recommend the best surgery for you, whether it’s the sleeve, band, bypass, or another choice. You’d go back for follow-up appointments and ongoing nutritional and psychological counseling.
That doesn’t always happen in the real world, but that’s no excuse to give up. You can take responsibility for finding out the information you need to know about what to expect, how to prepare, and what comes next. Be persistent and do your research in all kinds of places, and you’re more likely to succeed.
Face the facts.
Weight loss surgery isn’t all fun and games. You don’t leave the operating room skinny. Weight loss isn’t steady. It may take you longer to get to goal weight than you hoped. Recognize the real possibilities to avoid being disappointed and possibly even giving up.
These are some other possibilities to consider, so you can be prepared if they happen to you.
You may still love sugar, salt, fat, and/or starch.
You may still be hungry.
Others may not notice your weight loss, or may not be impressed.
Others may be jealous of your weight loss or say you didn’t earn it.
You may have loose skin when you are finished losing weight.
Weight loss surgery doesn’t solve psychological problems.

Be Open-Minded
If you want to lose weight and get healthy, you’ve got to change your diet. Whatever eating habits got you to this point are not going to get you to goal weight!
That may mean you need to be open-minded. Maybe you hated vegetables, or can’t stand the thought of downing Protein Shakes for 2 weeks on the pre-op liquid diet and up to 4 weeks on the post-op liquid and mushies diets.
It’s time to re-evaluate. Can you sneak some veggies into your diet? Can you retrain your brain to love them? Can you force down those Protein shakes for a few weeks in exchange for a lifetime’s worth of better health?
Learn to see the good.
There will be disappointments - guaranteed. The scale may not cooperate, or you may make a poor eating choice, or you might skip your morning workout because you didn’t make sleep a priority the night before. Focus on the negative, and you just may talk yourself out of continuing the hard work and good progress.
Instead, learn to appreciate yourself and see the positive sides of things. Maybe you didn’t lose weight this week, but did you eat right? Maybe you downed a piece of pepperoni pizza without thinking about it, but did you pass up the breadsticks and soda that you would have had before surgery? Maybe you didn’t work out this morning, but did you make it to the gym more this month than you did last month?
See yourself as a strong, powerful person, and you will act like one. You can build on the positive behaviors you see in yourself so they eventually overshadow the mistakes.
You have control over your own destiny. Success with weight loss surgery depends on planning and hard work. The more you are involved and the more responsibility you take throughout the process, the better you can do.