So Penn Medicine where I'm going to get my surgery is doing a 12 week exercise research study on pre-op patients. I apparently lost my mind at the last support group meeting and signed up for the study. First session was this morning (it is once a week for the 12 weeks).

I know it is about making progress over the 12 weeks and not trying to match or outperform anyone other than doing better than my performance today. It was still just so frustrating and depressing that in a class of obese people awaiting surgery, I was still the least fit by far. We started with a plank test. I could barely hold the position for 12 seconds...12 teeny tiny seconds, that's it. Most people did around 30, one lady went over 2 minutes! Then there was the 6 minute walk test - basically up and down the hallway as many times as we could in 6 minutes. I didn't really count how many laps but I was seriously huffing and puffing by the time the 6 minutes were up. We did it in pairs, and the lady beside almost lapped me. Granted a few months ago I would not have been able to do the distance I did today.

And then some of the exercises we did afterward - push ups, squats, lunges and some other exercises down on our knees on the floor. Some I them I couldn't even do the number of repetitions we were supposed to because my knee hurt so bad having that much pressure on it pressing against the hard floor.

So I left feeling very defeated. Even during, I had flashbacks to middle and high school gym class where I struggled, especially with the dreaded yearly presidential physical fitness tests - I was always the worst in the class.

Again, I know it is about making progress, just right now I feel so far behind and wondering how I'm going to manage next week when after 30 minutes of those exercises, we go outside on the streets of Philly and walk for 30 minutes. Like in public, with other people on the streets. How am I even going to keep up with the rest of the class? I know my poor performance from today proves how much I do need this class, just worried about whether I can even do it...

Sorry for the long post, just needed to vent and get it out.

Sorry you had a rough go of it. I encourage you to stick with it though. Not only will you hopefully see a big improvement over these twelve weeks, but once you are post-op and really dropping weight, this will be such a nice baseline for you to look back on to see how far you've come. There are going to be a lot of points along this journey where you are going to have to push yourself further than you expect, so it's good to get the practice in now. And you really might surprise yourself.

You've just gotta stop comparing yourself to others...
It's good practice for post-surgery....
Because if you don't, that s**t will do your head in.
You said a couple of times that this is all about "progress over the 12 weeks"...
Focus on that...
Compare week 1 you to week 12 you...
That's the important bit...
Comparing ourselves to others only sets us up for heartache and misery...
As an example, I'm going along well on my de-fatting mission...
I'm happy with my progress..
I've lost plenty of weight...
I'm the lightest I've been in 20 years...
I exercise most days...
All that is great...
But what I focus on is -
I'm 13 months post-op, 230+ pounds down, stronger and fitter than I've ever been and I STILL CAN'T DO A F**KING PUSH UP!!!
Not one...
Everyone else at my gym can...
Everyone...
But not me...
What's my point?
Forget what everyone else can do...
This isn't about them...
This is about YOU...
Do what you can...
Then come back and compare in 12 weeks...
I bet you're killing it by then...
You've just gotta stop comparing yourself to others...
It's good practice for post-surgery....
Because if you don't, that s**t will do your head in.
You said a couple of times that this is all about "progress over the 12 weeks"...
Focus on that...
Compare week 1 you to week 12 you...
That's the important bit...
Comparing ourselves to others only sets us up for heartache and misery...
As an example, I'm going along well on my de-fatting mission...
I'm happy with my progress..
I've lost plenty of weight...
I'm the lightest I've been in 20 years...
I exercise most days...
All that is great...
But what I focus on is -
I'm 13 months post-op, 230+ pounds down, stronger and fitter than I've ever been and I STILL CAN'T DO A F**KING PUSH UP!!!
Not one...
Everyone else at my gym can...
Everyone...
But not me...
What's my point?
Forget what everyone else can do...
This isn't about them...
This is about YOU...
Do what you can...
Then come back and compare in 12 weeks...
I bet you're killing it by then...

Apologies for the seemingly long wall of words above...

The post has doubled up and the system won't allow me to amend it...

I have my medical weight management appointment tomorrow....wonder if Penn is going to try to rope me into this. I love walking, but I loathe lunges with every Fiber of my being.

I was always last in those presidential fitness tests. Every single year. Even when I was skinny, I was not "in shape." I've never done a proper full push up in my entire life. The thing is, I don't think anyone but me has ever noticed. People were mostly focused on themselves. Everyone in a gym/exercise class is. If everyone's pre-op, I'm guessing just about everyone is wishing they could do more, even those who did relatively well. We're all getting this surgery because we're unhappy with the limitations our bodies impose.

We all start at different places on this journey. Some of us were active before we started our journey, but couldn't seem to lose and keep the weight off. Others weren't so active and couldn't seem to lose and keep the weight off. We all come to the same place for the same reason: we want to gain a tool that will help us live stronger, more vibrant, healthy lives. I know people from my support groups that could not have walked across the room before their surgery because of being out of shape, ill, injured, or whatever. All of them have made remarkable fitness strides, but some still can't walk without walkers, while others are running half marathons. My point is that it is all about improvement from where you were.

I was walking 5ks regularly before I had surgery. Over the years I had also had a personal trainer. I tried really hard to lose the weight on my own, including exercising 2 hours a day, but I still weighed 280+ and had a BMI of 40+. I am close now to being able to run a 5k (3.1 miles), but I will never be fast. I am only out to prove to myself what I can do with the body I have at this time and place. When I first started running in January, I could barely run for even 1 minute and I was walking 3 mph. Over the past three months, I have improved to where this Monday I ran for 20 minutes straight totaling 1.5 miles! And I now can sustain a walk at 3.7-3.8 mph. (I can walk as fast as 4 mph, but I can't sustain it for very long). I could easily have quit when I couldn't run for a minute, but this journey is about making changes to improve our lives. No matter what changes you want to make, you have to start where you are. You can't start anywhere else. And then you grow and change from there.

We all got to where we are/were somehow and now we are taking control of our futures. You have made and amazing start to taking control of your life with this class. This is about where you are in the journey and not anyone else. Keep working out on your own. For so many reasons, you will reap bigger benefits when you reach postop. You have nowhere but up to go from your first class. Follow through on it. Maybe this is just my issue, but pre surgery, I would plan to stick to an exercise/diet plan, but inevitably I would quit without completing it. The sense of accomplishment from making a goal (improving over the next 12 weeks) will be so valuable for your self image as you move from preop to postop. We all need that kind of validation no matter where we are in the journey.

You can do it. The journey begins with a single step. Surgery was your first. This class is another one.

pam

Let me ask you this...... before this class this morning when was the last time you exerted yourself ?

We are in this together and we are doing this because we are out of shape. Not a single one of us would be here if we had been running marathons, being in the gym everyday or doing laps in a pool all the time.

Hell, a few weeks ago we had a fire alarm go off and I had to run up 3 stories to clear the floor that I am responsible for. I WAS OUT OF GAS BY THE SECOND ONE !!! And I felt it in my legs the next day.

We are all in this together !!

Keep your chin up because you can do THIS !!

Screw anyone that looks at you sideways or thinks otherwise.

As you go through this 12 week class you will get faster, more flexible, stronger and have better stamina !!

Think how amazing that will feel !

Then after your surgery you will be walking. Then after awhile your speed will increase. Faster and faster until you break into a run for a minute. Then 2 minutes.... Then 3 minutes....

You got this !!!

Heidikat72 - seriously STOP comparing yourself to others. See how much progress you can make in 12 weeks and then keep it up

You'll drive yourself nuts if you keep comparing yourself to everyone else.

Prior to 4/1/2015 I couldn't run, walk, go upstairs, etc. without being red in the face, flush and sweaty. Now I'm walking a minimum of 10,000 steps a day and I feel great!

Girl, I can't do a lot of those things very well and I am down 135 pounds! Seriously, don't beat yourself up and remember that you have a headstart on surgery this way PLUS you will have come so much farther in 12 weeks! @@KindaFamiliar is right - you will drive yourself nuts comparing yourself to others. You just have to compare yourself to the past you. I man do I hear you about flashbacks to gym class but don't let it derail you. We (or most of us) have allowed these head games to derail us because "what's the point" is what we tell ourselves. Don't let that happen to you. Take a few quiet moments to yourself and reflect on what you WERE able to do and not what you WEREN'T able to do and picture what it will be like to be able to do all this in 12 weeks. And then promise you will come back and post on this very post and update us in 12 weeks on how you did.

*@heidikat72, I stopped reading half way through your second paragraph to avoid the kind of negativity I recognize in myself these days. Make that years.

The reality is that you fearlessly threw yourself off the cliff when you signed on for the study. The reality is that you signed on for a great opportunity for free, safe, professionally-supervised exercise. The reality is that you were pumped and positive when you signed on. Where did that woman go? She's the one that you want. She's the best of you.

The other reality is that you've got to expect a difficult time when starting to exercise at 400. There's no other way to say it. On the bright side, if you stick with it and take pleasure and pride in yourself for having undertaken the program, you will see progress. No matter how gradual it is, it's progress that counts.

It's all about the doing. There's a good chance that, had I read further, I would have gotten to the part where you say, "I know that...., but....." Rant, rant, rant, moan, gritch. Now get on with it. You're terrific. I want to be like you when I get younger.

Thanks for the comments and support. yes, logically I KNOW it is just about improving myself. The whole reason I'm in the class is because of how unfit I am and yes, at my weight exercise at first is going to be a struggle. Like I said, logically I know all this...emotionally was a different story yesterday. But today when I leave work, I'll be putting my sneakers on and walking...and walking and walking. And next Thursday at 7am I'll be right there in Philly sweating and huffing and puffing.

And honestly, I'm kinda surprised I was able to hold a plank for even a second and was able to get up off the floor without needed something for support to pull myself up. So there is that.

Mind over matter Chica Dee.

You got this !!!

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G870A using the BariatricPal App

I've lost 200+ pounds so far and am still afraid to even get down on the floor because I am not confident I will be able to get up (with or without help). The last time I fell was pre-op. I fell in a gravel parking lot and had to call EMS to help me get up. Not fun.

It sounds to me like you are doing great. Just imagine what you will be able to do in the next 12 weeks let alone the next 12 months.

Falls are so scary, ISG! I have fallen a number of times in my adult life due to a vision impairment that affects my judgement of distance. I'm a little old granny going down stairs.

Thanks for the comments and support. yes, logically I KNOW it is just about improving myself. The whole reason I'm in the class is because of how unfit I am and yes, at my weight exercise at first is going to be a struggle. Like I said, logically I know all this...emotionally was a different story yesterday. But today when I leave work, I'll be putting my sneakers on and walking...and walking and walking. And next Thursday at 7am I'll be right there in Philly sweating and huffing and puffing.

And honestly, I'm kinda surprised I was able to hold a plank for even a second and was able to get up off the floor without needed something for support to pull myself up. So there is that.

There she is, back in the saddle.

Go girl go!!!! Bet you're glad you had your rant here on BP. You got back nothing else but other WLS pals getting behind you and shoving you mentally in the right direction. We have all had our physical limitations to some extent, some more than others. I'm not going to fib to you and say that my journey so far has been as hard as yours cos it ain't but I've had my fair share of sore bits on my journey.

Having been a slim, strong professional ballet dancer in my youth I set myself up for lifelong eating problems and knackered joints. I LOVE food, always have but my 'stop' button stopped working a few years ago. The weight piled on and the overused joints took the consequent strain. Arthritis in my hips and knees plus a dodgy lower spine slowed me down to a level I hated. I had my right hip replaced 18 months ago (promised my consultant that I would lose weight before the op but guess what-didn't lose an ounce) and promised myself that I would get fit. Luckily, had dogs who needed to be walked so had to get off my arse and so I toddled off every day. Six months later, I went to a ballet company reunion and guess what? I was the only lardy lump there. The pics that were taken that day made me so ashamed that it gave me the kick up the backside to investigate WLS. Since then, I've had sleeve surgery, got myself a Misfit Shine, started using My Fitness Pal, got another dog and started swimming. My husband and various dog walking pals have noticed that I am now walking in a normal way and not hobbling along, I move faster and go for miles. I swim for half a mile most days then dog walk. Newest mutt never gets tired so my goal is to completely knacker her but think I'll have my work cut out. I can't run as my back and knee just wouldn't wear it but I can walk for Britain. I love it. I may not be working my way to an Olympic gold but I'm very happy with my fitness now, thank you. The excess flab is waving my frame goodbye quite slowly but the pace of the weight loss doesn't bother me. I am stronger, fitter, have more stamina and feel years younger. Off to make another cuppa and then off to our local park, Bushy Park which is a Royal Park, owned by the Queen. Google it-it's beautiful and five minutes away from my home.

Don't give up, the rewards are just too wonderful and all the sweat and pain are worth it. YOU are worth it.