lindabalseca

Okay, Steven, you've gotten the attention you came here for. You can pretend to be an adult now and stop harassing her.


Transitioning from lapband to bypass on June 12!
HW: 402, CW: 314, GW 185

@PatientEleventyBillion you're really invested in proving me wrong and bringing me down... why is that? what's so wrong in your life that you can't just f**k off?
there, how's that for being direct and honest?

Don't usually like to get involved in conversations that aren't supportive in nature but wanted to share my opinion.....and that's all it is....my opinion. It's not my job to judge someone who is lying to themselves or making excuses for their behavior. It's counter productive and alienates people. We've all been in that place where others feel they know the best solution for our circumstances or know our journey better then we do. Critical and/or hurtful remarks are not helpful.......if they were none of us would be here. Being judged and negatively critiqued doesn't lend itself to improvement. Doesn't mean we "coddle" and make excuses for the choices or bad behavior - it means we help by offering what worked for us, what helped us get through the hard times, what may work instead of self sabotaging behavior. Suggestions, not criticism, being offered in a supportive, kind and helpful way are much more likely to make a difference. I try to remember we are all on a difficult journey and doing the best we can in any particular moment. I haven't walked in other people's shoes so I can't feel good about being critical of their particular situation. I can, however, share what works for me in a supportive way and hope it makes a difference.

I will agree that sometimes it is hard to not get impatient with some people when what they are asking seems obvious. I think we are all guilty of this, but I personally want to remember to treat people with kindness as I don't know what they are going through on a daily basis. This may well be the only support they have. I don't think we should coddle them, but find a nice way to correct them if needed.

I totally agree with you however if u read certain posts by a select few they come off as high and mighty and they go right for the jugular. I would find a better way to tell the lady eating the whole pizza that she needs to let her dr know what she's really eating and to get into counseling asap...not be the food patrol...I'm the type of person who will find a strategy to get the message across in the best possible way. Some may see it as coddling... I see it as not trying to set
someone back to the place they just came out of. We need to let them know they are putting their health at risk without making them feel worthless or beneath others.

Well lets be completely honest if we didnt THINK about eating regular foods we wouldnt of ended up here jn the first place correct? I have not had the surgery yet and haven't been given my pre-op diet yet. It was just a question so I knew if it would affect the sleeve or if it was more so that it affects us in emotional Cravings or physical cravings. So in terms of understanding why I would want to eat a regular popsicle it's because personally The Taste can be off-putting of a sugar-free popsicle sometimes so I did not know if there were specific reasons

I totally agree with you however if u read certain posts by a select few they come off as high and mighty and they go right for the jugular. I would find a better way to tell the lady eating the whole pizza that she needs to let her dr know what she's really eating and to get into counseling asap...not be the food patrol...I'm the type of person who will find a strategy to get the message across in the best possible way. Some may see it as coddling... I see it as not trying to set
someone back to the place they just came out of. We need to let them know they are putting their health at risk without making them feel worthless or beneath others.

Let's not forget about the one who ate an entire pizza at 3 weeks post-surgery. No one needs a fancy doctoral degree to conclude this person may have dire unresolved issues with his/her relationship with food. By the way, I steered clear of that thread.
Also, there's the woman who got sick eating a Big Mac at 4 days post-surgery. Again, common sense dictates that she may have unresolved food issues if she'd willingly risk her life fulfilling a Big Mac craving when she's supposed to be on nothing but full liquids.
These individuals visit online forums on the hunt for comments that validate their poor decisions, usually under the guise of "needing support" or "seeking advice." Any advice that follows the course of "You might develop a staple line leak by eating burgers and pizza at a few days post-op" is shouted down as rude.
Of course, these are often the folks who never make it to their goal weight or, if they do, they start to fiercely regain during the second year and beyond.
For a massive percentage of the weight loss surgery community, the biggest challenges are psychological in nature. After all, the surgeon operates on our stomachs and not our heads.

Probably because they are miserable in theirs and making someone else feel bad is a temporary victory for them. Would they talk to their mother like that or a close friend...gosh I hope not but the more this goes on I think they would....

Well said [emoji122][emoji122][emoji122][emoji122][emoji122][emoji122][emoji122] there are a few regular bashers that I cringe when I see there name...I scroll right past because I can't bare to read ho they are gonna degrade that person

Well said [emoji122][emoji122][emoji122][emoji122][emoji122][emoji122][emoji122] there are a few regular bashers that I cringe when I see there name...I scroll right past because I can't bare to read ho they are gonna degrade that person

Ah, great idea. My M.O. In the past has been to lose weight, pick up a loser, gain weight, drop the loser, repeat. Uggggggg, hopefully now I can drop that behavior and feel like I can offer a guy more than being a sugar momma.

And your reply won't change how people are either... did it feel productive what you said? Do you feel as if you changed me and my whininess? I believe this post stated this was a vent/rant... I wonder how calling my whiny will change my opinion or improve your life...

My point is that who are we to decide who needs coddling and who doesn't? You read a few words in a forum or blog and you know what they need emotionally? Additionally, how does a yes or no question warrant a lecture? I agree there are posts in which people are asking for an opinion and get what they ask for, but I think people give their opinions when no one asked them. I realize that's the way of the internet, but I just think that a lot of people don't know what someone is going through and it couldn't hurt to show a little human decency. Human decency does not necessarily equal coddling... in fact, perhaps I did not convey this particularly well, but my point was that sometimes questions warrant no emotion whatsoever.
In my opinion, people who favor the tough love approach with strangers probably have some issues facing things themselves. Not everyone is a piece of crap and sometimes tough love makes people feel that way.
Additionally, there's a difference between tough love and being outright rude.

we all come here for support. Sometimes we need tough love, but there are many ways to convey that without hurting someone's feelings, and it would be nice if we all remembered that.

Sorry this is long....
The first thing I MUST address is the way in which some people talk to on another on WLS forums. Often, I will stumble upon a post because I Google a question looking for an answer in the moment rather than asking something that may have already been asked and waiting. I've noticed a lot of people being extremely critical of the questioner...
Here is an example (in a weak moment -MOMENT being the keyword - I might add... I'm on the liquid diet), I found someone asking if in the pure liquid post-surgery diet stage if they could have sugar free soft-serve ice cream. The first response was from someone who decided that rather than answer the question, they would provide an impromptu lecture on slider foods and how they should be dealing with food post-surgery. While I recognize posting on the internet opens you up to opportunities of criticism, I would hope that most people on weight-loss-surgery forums would have enough common sense to understand that most people on here are adults capable of choosing what they want to do. She didn't ask if she SHOULD eat the ice cream, she asked if she COULD eat it. I'm not saying the concern about slider foods wasn't without merit, but it wasn't warranted in this situation. Turns out, the poster just wanted to see if she could indulge in a lick or two in a social setting (a birthday party or something). She wasn't planning to enter a soft-serve eating contest. And even if she was... SO WHAT?! How does that impact the responder in any way? Why waste the time responding? The question wasn't, "What's an exmaple of a slider food and what are the dangers of a slider food?" UGH!
This leads me to another thing I'm really, really, really frustrated with. NOT EVERYONE HAS MENTAL ISSUES WITH FOOD THAT IS OVERWEIGHT OR UNDERWEIGHT OR IS INCAPABLE OF CHANGE OR INCAPABLE OF LEARNING WAYS TO COPE WITH FOOD ADDICTION. I am not saying it will be EASY, but it doesn't mean someone can't overcome their addiction. I know people from all ends of the spectrum who have accidentally overeaten at a holiday or party or have made a bad choice (food related or not) and I know many people who OBSESS over the food they put into their bodies and have done some serious emotional and physical damage by being TOO restrictive. Here's the point I am trying to make...
WHAT WORKS FOR YOU MAY NOT WORK FOR ANOTHER PERSON. And perhaps this is my unsound opinion, but having HAD WLS does not make you an EXPERT on WLS no matter how long ago you've gone; until you've gone to school and extensively studied psychology, gotten your doctorate, etc. etc. etc., no one wants to hear it unless they specifically ask you hey what SHOULD I do! SHOULD BEING THE KEY WORD!
Yes, some people may find it best avoid slider foods at all costs for the rest of their lives. However, other people will be able to indulge in a few bites of ice cream, or whatever and it doesn't undo all of their hard work or everything they've accomplished.
I have to say that I'm so disappointed when looking for answers to certain WLS-related questions to see so many people 1 - not answering the question directly, 2 - providing emotional/psychological advice, 3 - just not showing a little more compassion to people regardless of where they are in their journey, 4 - assuming you know anything about the person based on a question they've asked. And hey maybe you can tell they're making a huge mistake, but they may have worded the question incorrectly, they may be having a difficult time with something else in their life and they're searching for empathy from someone else who may have gone through something similar... the point is, a simple question doesn't provide you all the facts so stop assuming things about people because they've had weight loss surgery or are contemplating it!!!
On a related note, I'm so disappointed in the frequency in which I read people who start off by replying, "I'm sorry, but..." YOU ARE NOT SORRY! You are about to say something hurtful. If you have to say BUT after sorry, you're just not and you should delete your sentence and go read a book. Unless you're saying, "I'm sorry, but you're totally awesome and I love that you're realizing you're perfectly capable of realizing this is an internet forum and not a conversation with your doctor..." but rarely does it go that way.
FINALLY, I am so tired of reading things that are presented as black and white. I bet there are a bunch of people who disagree with what I have said... okay, fine, but does that mean I'm wrong? DISAGREEING WITH SOMEONE DOES NOT MAKE THEM WRONG AND IT DOESN'T MAKE YOU RIGHT. SOMETIMES YOU CAN BOTH BE RIGHT, WRONG, OR IN BETWEEN!
50 Shades of Grey? TRY A BILLION! AHHHH!
PS - I really need the pureed food stage to arrive... and fast.

I had surgery 6 months ago. The thing I appreciated the most was my husband staying with me in the hospital for two days and nights. My program required you to get up and walk every 4 hours. I'm a heavy sleeper so my husband set an alarm, got me up and walked with me. He also helped me keep track of my Fluid intake. This was a huge help for me to stay on course. He then stayed home the first day I was home just to make sure I could manage by myself. I did fine at home and didn't need pain melds more than Tylenol, so he went back to work. My doctor didn't want me to drive for seven days so I didn't. When he would get home from work, he'd walk with me and if weather was bad, he'd take me to A store or the mall to walk so I could get out for a little bit and not go stir crazy. For me, I think the walking helped me heal and get my energy back. I was able to go back to work in two weeks and have not had any issues. I hope this helps, best of luck to you both.

Chicago / milwaukee

Where did you get the abdominal binder?

Sent from my SM-G930T using BariatricPal mobile app

Lol really? I've been told Tinder was worse than POF. And I didn't think anything was worse than POF... those dudes are disgusting

Craigslist is dangerous...I won't join if it goes through there

Craigslist is dangerous...I won't join if it goes through there

Craigslist is dangerous...I won't join if it goes through there

I'm drinking a shake or eating every 2 to 3 hours so I won't get hungry. Ensure you DRINK the Water too. I'm in the restroom every 15 minutes! It's tiresome, but we HAVE to ensure no complications.

YOU CAN DO THIS! ASK GOD FOR STRENGTH. I'VE ALREADY SAID A PRAYER FOR YOUR STRENGTH. YOU CAN DO THIS!!

Sent from my SM-N920V using BariatricPal mobile app

I totally agree with you on the abrasiveness...unfortunately the experience that people acquire makes them feel like they know everything and they can't wait to criticize and shove their knowledge down the throats of others...I wish they would realize that other people like to share their own knowledge and experiences but it becomes face biting....you look amazing don't sweat it u get to ur goal weight and be happy!!![emoji847]