Oh SkiGirl... First, congrats on making the decision to have the surgery!
I want you to remember that you are a wonderful and caring person. I don't have to "know" you to feel that way about you. I can tell you that I had a lot of lost loves because of my weight and I'm so glad they are out of my life now.
This may seem drastic, but you really need to find a new friend. No matter how many times he says he's sorry- he is not your friend. He knows you like him and he thrives on that.
Stop calling him, saying 'yes' if he calls you to go out- do not enable him in the least bit. Let him wonder what is going on with you... Basically play hard to get.
You will find not only is it fun, but by the time he realizes that you may be the One- you will have already moved on and found happiness with someone who truly deserves you.
No matter who you are with, they will know that you had the band- once you lose weight, you will be able to see it and feel it. If they cannot accept the fact that you were once overweight...they are not the one for you either.
I'm sorry I'm rambling, but this just really hit home for me. Yes, I'm married now, but my weight is putting a strain on my relationship with my husband. Even though I was heavy when we met, I was 70lbs lighter- and when you're 5'2", that's a TON!
I wish you luck and I wish you strength... You are better than some guy who can't be sensitive to your feelings.