L.Harmony

Also just some gentle advice. ....
You are allowed to use periods and commas to help us understand what you are trying to say.
They help.
A lot.

I have the opposite issue. I am losing inches and in six weeks have gone from a tight 24 to a nice fitting 20 and even some 18's. But, the scale is barely moving.
Ugh!

Think these things over, as a woman do not show her the list. That will start one hell of a fight at my house, if I found a list like that, I know I'm being a hypocrite about it. It may take a few days or even a week to write and figure out what you can live with and what can't. But do not do anything to extreme.

I'm not married, but I've had similar thoughts. When I started my current relationship about 5 years ago I started dating a man who was also overweight like myself. He has been the most wonderful and support man. I really want him to lose some weight, he tries but not in the right way. He's trying to bulk up which hasn't really worked when it comes to losing weight. I just had the surgery, I'm really hopping that once he sees my progress he will become more motivated when it comes to losing weight.
You got married for a reason, and I doubt it was only for her appearance. Maybe write down everything you love or appreciate about her. You can even write down a list of things that you dislike or bother you about her. Really think about everything. Then look at these list and see if they are things you can live with. If they are things you can live with let them go. If there are major things you can't live with then maybe you need to evaluate your relationship.

I am with @@winklie on this. Get yourself back to the hospital and demand answers and solutions.
This is absolutely not normal, something did not go right with your surgery.
I am 13 months post op tomorrow. I still can barely eat 1 cup of food at mealtime. I try to get between 1000 and 1200 calories a day and most days have to snack like heck just to get to 1000.
Also, you really do need to quit processed foods and focus on good home cooked Protein. It keeps you full a lot longer and gets you the Protein needed. You should not be eating Pasta of any kind at this point.
Low carb, high protein. Carbs should come from vegetables and some fruit.< /p>
I am so sorry that this has happened to you and want you to be successful. It has to start back with your surgeon right away.
Please take good care of yourself! You deserve to be healthy after everything you have hone through. Please take the time to hold your surgeon accountable.
In addition, I would call your nut and ask for a specific guide to your required diet ASAP.

@@Dallas Powell
I am going to make a post, you may well not like. Call it tough love. It consists of two parts, first. Stop eating more than 800 calories a day. Man the fuck up, and just stop. I eat 600-800 calories a day and am never full, I do get satiated from time to time, but I find ways to distract myself, take a long ass walk. Like 2 hours long, you can't eat if you are an hour away from home in some park.
CONTINUE EATING AS YOU ARE AND YOU WILL DIE.
Part two. Run, better yet, drive, and drive quickly to the hospital that performed your surgery, and refuse to leave until they have solved this problem. It is IMPOSSIBLE for you to eat 3 lean cuisines with a 4 oz pouch. There are really two possibilities, first, a Fistula, secondly the opening from the pouch to your intestine if that junction is too large (it should be roughly 1/2 the diameter of a dime at this stage) you lose the restrictive portion of the surgery. Then, it becomes possible to eat as you have been because the food does not even slow down in your pouch, it just slides right through and you won't feel satiated until you have filled your entire roux limb AND pouch.(and I am not going to do the math but if you have a standard Roux limb it is 150cm long so think of how much food it takes to pack 150cm of garden hose and you get an idea of the volume of food you COULD stuff into yourself) Either of these is a borked surgery that, and I am going to bold this;
YOU PAID FOR. YOU ARE A CUSTOMER. YOUR SURGERY WAS NOT COMPLETED PROPERLY, REFUSE TO LEAVE THE HOSPITAL UNTIL THIS IS FIXED.
I'm not an asshole, but you have to understand the customer, salesman relationship. You or at least your insurance paid for a service that is defective. Pack a bag and head back to the hospital. Under no circumstances leave until this issue is resolved. Look up the hospitals resources. Call them. Dispute your discharge, just about every hospital has Q A people you can call.
NO EXCUSES, NO COME TO MY OFFICE, NO LET’S MAKE AN APPOINTMENT, FIX THIS AND FUCKING FIX IT NOW, OR YOU ARE LEAVING ME NO CHOICE BUT TO SEEK LEGAL REMEDY.
Sorry for all the cursing, but this has gone on long enough. We cannot help you, only your surgeon can. He already admitted a 'problem' making your pouch, We'll if he has to go back in and unfuck his mistake, that is on him. We have done all we can do, anything more in this post is speculation, you need medical care, and now.
Best of luck and let us know how it goes.

The pain you have under your left rib is your stomach, sounds like you are stuffing in too much food and yes that will cause pain. What happens when you eat half a cup of food? What do you mean by starving yourself? What type of hunger symptoms do you have? You may have only head hunger that is making you eat. Sounds like you may need nutritional counseling and meal planning. Give it a try.

One of my favorite features of the jawbone is the sleep track and the vibrates alarms you can set. They are sending me an Up2, loved my Up24.

@@Nurse_Lenora I agree! This is in no means to be bashing you for your feelings Dave but you need to consider hers too. Actually we all need to consider how our spouses feel. It is not just us going through changes but they are going through them too. They are watching us change our lives and possibly wonder where they may fit in. I no my husband thinks that and he is healthy. He loved me as the fat person and I believe he will love me as the leaner one. Instead of questioning your marriage I would try to understand your wife first. As you see I said understand not question because it could come off not sounding so good.

Thanks 395ron, my doing well. So far healing well. I've been really surprised at it. Thanks for the welcome. I really wish I would have found this before I had surgery but after surgery works as well.

@@tootie09
My NUT was telling me that stalls and starts tend to happen right around the time of a new diet phase, makes sense, new foods, body reacts in different ways, Week 8 is phase 5, unrestricted diet. One of the biggest goals is to get you off Protein shakes and have you get your Protein in food form. More hard to digest meats etc, also the inclusion of a lot of new fibrous vegetables that tend to not get digested as fully., So at week 8 remove that quick to digest Protein shake and start eating a lot of meats, veggies and fruits, less "soft carbs" and more "complex" food. This combination leads to a greater weight loss. That is what they have found anyway,

Thanks for the review. I am going to pass on my Fitbit one to my sister after I get the Jawbone up3 I requested for Xmas.

Thanks 395ron, my doing well. So far healing well. I've been really surprised at it. Thanks for the welcome. I really wish I would have found this before I had surgery but after surgery works as well.

Thanks 395ron, my doing well. So far healing well. I've been really surprised at it. Thanks for the welcome. I really wish I would have found this before I had surgery but after surgery works as well.

I started writing it all down in a notebook. Every feeling and thought. Everything. Once it was down on paper I haven't looked at it. I figured I'll do that in a year. Since this is a decision I have to live with for the rest of my life. Just try writing it down, it can be very helpful. Sending positive thoughts your way.

I'm not married, but I've had similar thoughts. When I started my current relationship about 5 years ago I started dating a man who was also overweight like myself. He has been the most wonderful and support man. I really want him to lose some weight, he tries but not in the right way. He's trying to bulk up which hasn't really worked when it comes to losing weight. I just had the surgery, I'm really hopping that once he sees my progress he will become more motivated when it comes to losing weight.
You got married for a reason, and I doubt it was only for her appearance. Maybe write down everything you love or appreciate about her. You can even write down a list of things that you dislike or bother you about her. Really think about everything. Then look at these list and see if they are things you can live with. If they are things you can live with let them go. If there are major things you can't live with then maybe you need to evaluate your relationship.

hello every one!!!
Just posting a small update. Everything is going well so far, ran into TMI HORRIBLE Constipation this past week. got that sorted. Was feeling awful because of it and so i let my journal laps and i need to get back on top of that to make sure i am getting in everything i need to get it. i think i am doing good with my Water though i have a pink 8 oz. cup i brought home from the hospital, its cheap and plastic and i love it, and i drink several of those through out the day. Still working on my Protein of course but now that i can eat again i think it should be a bit easier to track that as well. Aside from all that i have FINALLY broke my stall and started losing again. The scale stayed still for almost 2 weeks which of course as many of you know is beyond frustrating. SOO that's where i am right now.

It's possible she is creating a self fulfilling prophesy. She may have though that once you started to lose weight, the marriage would go south. In order to make sure she controls that, she may be sabotaging her weight loss... I may be totally wrong on this but I can even hear her in her head thinking 'well, he was going to leave me anyway. Why should I do what he wants me to do?'.
Seriously...this is a major issue and I don't know that you and the wife have the capability to work it out without professional help. I even suspect she doesn't know why she's not complying. If you can't see the issue for what it is, you can't change it.
Good luck. Oh...and no judgement here. I divorced my second husband even though I loved him. He was so f**k-up that I couldn't be with him no matter how much I tried. It was like being pulled down into the Water knowing I was drowning. I had to cut the rope and let him go so I could swim back up to the surface. Weight was not our issue...and it may not be yours either. The weight might be an outside symbol only. OK...sorry..can you tell I've been in therapy?

yeah. I guess I have a different perspective. My husband loved me when I was 125 lbs - he loved me when my weight ballooned up to 275 lbs and he loves me now that I am slowly loosing the weight. He cares and supports me through every decision I have made - even if he doesn't always agree or understand. Has he always wanted me to be thin and healthy - yeah, for sure - but he never withdrew his love because of it.
I loved him when he was a buff lean healthy man. loved him when he smoked for 20 years and I would have done anything to help him quit. I loved him when he finally quit. I loved him when he became a type 1 diabetic. I loved him when he had pancreatic cancer and nearly died. I loved him through a year of recovery from a whipple procedure. I loved him when he was diagnosed with leukemia. I loved him through all his chemo treatments - and still love him today - just as I did when I met him 41 years ago.
I know that a lot of things can cause a marriage to fall apart. I can tell you in no uncertain terms if there was abuse I would not tolerate it - but in my marriage vows I made a commitment 'to have and to hold till death do us part' Things aren't always perfect or easy.....sometimes it takes courage and understanding and just plain love to see it through.

Hmmmm... hate to say this - but why did you marry her in the first place? Did you love her only because of weight? You had WLS and it is working for you - and that is great! WLS is a huge decision as you know - and a personal one. Perhaps in time she will see the benefits of it and look into it - or perhaps it wouldn't be the right thing for her. Perhaps you need to cut her some slack and not expect something from her just because you have had WLS.
I know you probably want her to lose the weight because you love and care for her and want her around in the years to come. Nevertheless, you might want to re-examine the things about her that you do love and not judge her because she is not falling in line with what you have done about your weight.

I'm not married, but I've had similar thoughts. When I started my current relationship about 5 years ago I started dating a man who was also overweight like myself. He has been the most wonderful and support man. I really want him to lose some weight, he tries but not in the right way. He's trying to bulk up which hasn't really worked when it comes to losing weight. I just had the surgery, I'm really hopping that once he sees my progress he will become more motivated when it comes to losing weight.
You got married for a reason, and I doubt it was only for her appearance. Maybe write down everything you love or appreciate about her. You can even write down a list of things that you dislike or bother you about her. Really think about everything. Then look at these list and see if they are things you can live with. If they are things you can live with let them go. If there are major things you can't live with then maybe you need to evaluate your relationship.

Think these things over, as a woman do not show her the list. That will start one hell of a fight at my house, if I found a list like that, I know I'm being a hypocrite about it. It may take a few days or even a week to write and figure out what you can live with and what can't. But do not do anything to extreme.

Almost cried reading this. Way to go. I only hope to be so humble and blessed after my surgery (11/30/15)

I met my husband when I weighed 110 pounds. We have been married for 24 years. I weighed 271 when I had my surgery. God bless him he has loved me unconditionally through all my various weights. He never said a negative word and even at my biggest he told me how beautiful I was.
The things that changed in our marriage when I was heavier was our activities. At my heaviest I did not want to do anything that involved something outdoors or physical. My husband always altered our hobbies to accommodate my wishes and limitations (at the time I did not think I had limitations, but in looking back I realize my weight held me down and back). We were boring. A night out involved dinner and a movie. Friends over to the house for dinner, shopping, reading...
Fast forward to now with 120+pounds gone and weighing at 144 I feel fantastic. I am living life to the fullest. I feel like this surgery has given me a second chance. My husband is enjoying all our new hobbies I have us doing. I love experiencing new and adventurous things. Hiking, camping, kayaking, ziplining, paddle boarding....He is right by my side doing them with me.
So I think our marriage didn't get stronger (it was already close and strong), but our marriage has gotten FUN!!! We have so much fun doing different things!!
I get excited looking forward to our next adventure!!

I'm just a little over a month out of surgery.
My wife was a full supporter of me doing it. She's ridden the rollercoaster with me this last year as I went from one specialist to resolve one issue....then onto another for another.
It was getting old and I was feeling old. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. She was getting worn out with the unpredictable nature for me to do anything....plan anything.....hurting all the time.....struggling at work and dead tired on my days off.
All the specialists said the same thing, "Lose big weight young man.....or you'll not live to be an old man".
Well....I'm very relieved that after 5 weeks things are going well. I can see the distant light at the end of the tunnel. My back is doing much better. Knees are coming along but protesting anyway. I'm slowly adding Advil into my diet and it's helping the knees some. Blood pressure is way down and some of the meds are now gone....remaining meds are cut in half dosages. The side effects are going away, thankfully.
I've not bought any new clothes....but the stuff that I'd bought a week or two prior to surgery is no longer fitting.
She's been laughing along with me at the baggy-wear. She keeps telling me to shave off the beard, which I did the night before surgery, but let it grow back. I told her the beard will be here until turkey season comes in/out in the Spring.
I think she's enthused to hear me talking about hunting again. I'm eager, too. Been talking to some buddies about leasing some decent land for next year's deer season and getting in there and working on it this January & February.
It feels good to be getting back to looking ahead at the old hobbies and hopefully being more active with old friends. That's just a small part of it, though......the best thing is that my relationship with her and our son is much better.
I'd become an ill-tempered bastard aching and hurting all the time. Fear of whatever future curveballs were coming had my anxiety high. Not being able to do my job properly wore on me.
Now.....those fears are gone. Optimism has taken their place. I'm no longer the old grumpy guy that only the dogs want to be around.
Marriage is better. Fatherhood is better. Worklife is better. Jettisoning ill-fitting clothes is going to be fun. I'll have to involve her in my future clothes buying at the regular-sized men's stores.
There is absolutely nothing that I regret about this surgery and the weight loss to come. Leaner life will be better.
I'll save a ton of $$$$$$$$ next year since I won't be going to some new doctor every month.
So very grateful.