Cervidae

You have us, and we all support you. <3 I'm so sorry that you've had these crappy experiences and misinformed people during a really important time in your life, when you need support most of all. Saying "I know people who have had this done and so I know everything about it and have a right to judge you" is the same as saying "I know a gay person so I'm allowed to act like I know the struggles he goes through." It makes no sense, and he's just being completely ignorant and self-entitled. Also, "instant gratification" is just... hilarious. It's hilarious that he thinks that is what it's about at all. The months of preparation before the surgery and literally the ENTIRE REST OF YOUR LIFE maintaining is the exact opposite of instant gratification. Maybe he feels like he's just looking out for you but honestly, he's in no place to offer advice or judgement. If he can't just give you support as your friend and help you instead of hurt you while you undertake this huge, life-altering even, then I would suggest ignoring him for the time being. Your results and your coming happiness and health will speak for themselves. I'm here to talk anytime! I mean it.

I have a similar problem with textures. Fortunately, a lot of the short list of foods I can eat without wanting to gag are things that work for WLS. Part of my problem with food for most of my life is a problem with a lot of fruits and veggies, or rather the texture of them. It's not just healthy foods, its also foods like popcorn, pretzels, chips, hamburger... the list goes on. I think something that helped me was to do a LOT of research on alternate methods of getting your Protein in. There's also a chance that your body will eventually become not only accustomed to these foods but grow to crave it. What are some foods that you do like and that have a lot of protein? Maybe I can give you some suggestions based on your texture likes and dislikes.

The diet is way, way easier than I thought it was going to be. The first day was weird, like I would be mentally planning for dinner and then remember... oh yeah, I'm having a Protein shake. XD Now it's just normal, and my body is used to it pretty quickly. It helps that the shakes I'm having and the Protein Bars have a TON of protein and that really helps your body to feel satiated for longer. My daily diet looks like this and will until saturday: (x1) Ensure Active High Protein Shake - 160 cal, 16 g protein, 4g sugar, 2g fat. (x1) Met Rx Protein plus bar - 310 cal, 32 g protein (I know, holy shit so much protein XD) 1g sugar, 10g fat (x2) Ensure Light nutrition shake - 70 cal, 12g protein, 0g sugar, 2g fat and however much Water, Swanson chicken broth, and tea I want/can drink. The chicken broth is a bit high in sodium but super low cal, so I don't drink a ton of the broth but it's nice to have something salty/savory to offset the sweet taste of the Protein Shakes and bars. And of course I put lemon juice in my tea. All in all, much simpler and more filling than I thought it would be.

I actually don't know how to do it either but here's my facebook, feel free to friend me! https://www.facebook.com/abbylynn113

Hello! fellow 23-year-old here. My surgery date is August 17th, just a week away now! I can't offer you talk about the fun things yet but I would still love to be your friend. It is super hard finding people our age who have had this surgery or are even thinking about it.

Hello! My name is Abby, and I'm 23. My surgery date is August 17th... only a week away now. o.o I'm so glad I found this forum, because most people I've talked to are much older than me and are in a completely different stage in their lives, so it's hard to relate to each other outside of the surgery. But I would love to make new friends with you guys here, as I don't know many people who have had this surgery or plan to have it and are also my age. Are any of you still in college? What does your family think of your decision? Your friends? How many people have you told about your surgery plans, and have they reacted well or badly? I look forward to meeting all of you wonderful people.

Hello! fellow 23-year-old here. My surgery date is August 17th, just a week away now! I can't offer you talk about the fun things yet but I would still love to be your friend. It is super hard finding people our age who have had this surgery or are even thinking about it.

Congratulations! Sorry you have naysayers in the group. I totally understand that, since I've experienced it as well. I also have a lot of kinky friends who welcomed me into the community because of my body and I have a nagging feeling that some of them might be puzzled, or disappointed, or disapproving of my surgery and weight loss. In the end, though, I have to do what I want to do and what works best for me. Glad to hear about your surgery approval! When I got mine a few weeks ago I remember feeling surreal for a while. It wasn't just a possibility anymore, it was actually something that is happening. Crazy!

Hello Ashley. I'm Abby, I'm 23. My surgery date is August 17 (only one week away now!) Feel free to message me and friend me, I think it could be really helpful to talk to someone who is my age and going through this. Have you got a date yet? Or what stage of the process are you in? I'm currently on the liquid/protein bar pre-op diet.

that does sound really good, thank you for sharing your stroke of genius

I'm pretty new here too, and welcome! It certainly is really helpful to be able to connect with people who understand everything we are going through and to be in a place of no judgement. People are often completely misinformed about WLS and honestly have no idea that their understand of it is just plain incorrect. I've been in this process with my surgeon's office since January, thinkinga bout this for over a year, and my surgery date is next Monday the 17th (only one week! wow o.o) and I have only told a few people in my life because I don't want to deal with the judgement and ignorance. I've pretty much decided to go ahead with the surgery, recover and lose weight and be healthy without telling most people in my life about what I'm doing, and just letting the results speak for themselves. Any person who has known me a long time and watched me struggle with my weight most of my life and is not simply happy to see me getting healthy is not a person I really need to confide in or trust anyway. Good luck! This work will all be worth it in the end.

I have not had my surgery yet, so I'm no help in offering my experience to you yet. But this is something that interests me greatly. I'm 23 and starting to get to that age where I see babies and my body is saying "WE WANT ONE!" I was told by two separate gynos that my chances of getting pregnant and carrying to term are pretty low, but my surgeon says that the reduction in PCOS symptoms and related problems is often enough to greatly increase the chance for women with PCOS to have babies. I wish you the best of luck with everything, keep us updated!

Congratulations! I can't wait to experience these things!

Well, it is scary. But it's also excited and amazing. So sorry to hear about your parents.

Girl, you're only 42, you have a LOT of time left! Especially after this journey when you become healthy and happy. I know that same feeling all too well; like I wish that I could go back high school and walk down a hallway without feeling people were staring at me for any other reason than the fact that I am fabulous! But here is something I have learned, a secret many, many of those "skinny/popular" girls don't even know about themselves: most people hate their bodies, and most people always will. Even the perfect model who gets fawned over and adored for her looks at least occasionally feels self-conscious. It's an unfortunate side effect of society. We're taught to always feel bad about ourselves, always want what someone else has, always feel like we could be better. Never to love ourselves regardless of how we look and find our worth outside of the opinions of others. What's going to matter in the end is that day you look in the mirror and see the person you feel like inside and realize every step, the good and the painful, through your years has brought you to this moment where you finally realize the opinions of others have absolutely nothing to do with how wonderful, how beautiful, and how blessed you are. Good luck with everything, and keep us updated! <3

I think bringing him in to talk to the doctor would probably help him a lot. It is a drastic surgery, it is a drastic life change, but if it's what you need, it's all going to be worth it in the end. Sounds like he just really loves you and feels a perfectly understandable anxiety about the danger you'll be facing, though the chance of anything bad happening is probably a lot smaller than he thinks it is. I would also recommend sitting down with him and watching videos/reading blogs by people who are 6 months, a year, 5 years past this surgery. That helped me a lot when I felt fear or confusion about this whole process.

Looking forward to experiences like this more than I can say. Only a week until surgery now.

Everything will be just fine, great even. Keep us updated!

Man, I wish I had room for this in my tiny apartment. We could barely fit a small recumbent bike in here. What a great deal for it, too. D: I wish you luck! Someone is gonna buy it, don't you worry, haha

Hello! I'm new as well. I'm 23, and my RNY is just a little over a week away. I can barely contain my excitement! I have yet to really explore this place or make any friends but I can already tell it's a pretty invaluable resource. Feel free to message me anytime if you'd like someone to talk to!

I wish I had some advice to offer you, but all I can offer is that you aren't the only person worried about this. I haven't even had my surgery yet - I'm about a week away now. I'm more than ready, very excited to be where I am in my life, and generally feel a huge pick up in my self-esteem just knowing that there are huge changes coming for me. And yet, I'd be lying if I said I haven't had some rather strange emotional moments and fears, things that have never crossed my mind or worried me before, some pertaining to my libido and my desirability. I've spent years becoming the kind of person who could see herself as beautiful, desirable, sexually liberated despite being way outside society's "normal". I think few people would understand the things you or I are going through unless they were faced with this huge, monumental change, not just in our own perception, but in our literal image. In a lot of ways, it's like being given a new body. It's no wonder that we often have trouble understanding the very understandable confusion and fears that come with such a huge change in our self-image. Our bodies and our sexuality are at the core of who we are as people, and it's all topsy turvy during and after this change. My only advice is to give yourself some time, and cut yourself as much slack as you can. You obviously love and are attracted to your husband, and he obviously loves and is attracted to you. Once your body balances out a bit and the surreal experience you are going through becomes a little less overwhelming, I bet everything will be just fine and back to normal. Maybe even better, who knows? Good luck!