I'm not that hungry any more. Well I am but not like the first few days. Today I'm just really sad. I feel like crying. No energy.

Last night I finally worked up the nerve to tell a friend that I was having RNY, and he told me it would be the worst mistake of my life, that I'd be in constant, unbearable pain, would have constant diarrhea, would be unable to eat the smallest bite of sugar without being bent over with cramps, and that I shouldn't go for instant gratification of quick weight loss.

I explained all the medical reasons I came to this decision but he wasn't hearing it.

At this point the only people who have been supportive of my decision are my doctors.

I just feel alone in this.

Sorry for this depressing post. I feel like this is my only safe place to discuss my impending surgery.

constant unbearable pain? Constant diarrhea? Never be able to eat the smallest bite of sugar? Where in the heck did he hear *that*???

I'm in no pain at all. Most people have trouble with constipation, not diarrhea. And "the smallest bite of sugar" doesn't cause cramps (although larger amounts can for some people). Where is this guy getting his information? Sheesh.

constant unbearable pain? Constant diarrhea? Never be able to eat the smallest bite of sugar? Where in the heck did he hear *that*???

I'm in no pain at all. Most people have trouble with constipation, not diarrhea. And "the smallest bite of sugar" doesn't cause cramps (although larger amounts can for some people). Where is this guy getting his information? Sheesh.

Thanks for this, catwoman7. It reaffirms everything I've learned but was second guessing after the conversation with my friend.

He said he knows a couple people who had it done. He's a super health nut who bikes 40 miles a day but I think maybe his info is couple decades old before the surgery was perfected. Idk.

Maybe I shouldn't tell anyone else until after the surgery. I don't want to act like it's a big dark secret but I'm tired of the negative responses.

I'm trying to stay positive and keep my fear at bay.

What kind of responses have you or anyone else received? All positive? A mix? Or mostly negative?

I actually haven't told many people outside of my immediate family. Maybe 10 tops - I was pretty careful about who I told. Luckily, so far everyone's been positive. Since I've only been losing 2-3 lbs a week (except for the first month), I may just tell others who ask that I'm doing it through diet and exercise. I'm just not sure I want it out.

yes - his info may be old. Years ago these were fairly risky surgeries - but not anymore.

@mishi.... I'm in the same boat you are..... haven't told many people and have had mixed responses to the news. I have a sister who had rny done 14 years ago and is fine. She can basically eat what she wants just has to watch the portion size. My mom friend and other sister and kids are totally supportive bit I have one sister and my husband are totally against it. My husband to the point that he will not even come to the hospital when I have surgery this friday.

In a way it's hurtful but I had to tell myself along time ago that I was doing it for me and my health otherwise I would have bailed out long ago.

Just know you are not the only one in that boat but it's being done for a healthier you and that's what's important

You have us, and we all support you. <3 I'm so sorry that you've had these crappy experiences and misinformed people during a really important time in your life, when you need support most of all. Saying "I know people who have had this done and so I know everything about it and have a right to judge you" is the same as saying "I know a gay person so I'm allowed to act like I know the struggles he goes through." It makes no sense, and he's just being completely ignorant and self-entitled. Also, "instant gratification" is just... hilarious. It's hilarious that he thinks that is what it's about at all. The months of preparation before the surgery and literally the ENTIRE REST OF YOUR LIFE maintaining is the exact opposite of instant gratification. Maybe he feels like he's just looking out for you but honestly, he's in no place to offer advice or judgement. If he can't just give you support as your friend and help you instead of hurt you while you undertake this huge, life-altering even, then I would suggest ignoring him for the time being. Your results and your coming happiness and health will speak for themselves. I'm here to talk anytime! I mean it.

I haven't really told anyone either, but I will definitely tell if someone asks. I know people still think WLS is taking the easy way out to weight loss, but I am hoping to educate those people...this is going to be my tool. I am lucky to have a good support system...my husband is very supportive and my mom had WLS 15 years ago. You are doing this for your health...always remember that.

Thanks everyone! It's such a relief to have others to relate to and know I'm not alone in my experiences.

I'm not doing this to be attractive. In fact it bothers me to think that people will treat me differently once I've lost the weight. I'll never be a skinny little thing. Never have been. I just want to be healthy.

Also this journey has been anything but easy...and I haven't even had the surgery yet!

It does seem like everyone knows someone whose had the surgery and therefore they are an expert and will gift you their advice when you haven't asked for it.

I'm rambling now.

Thanks again! Reading your posts have really cheered me up.

@@mishi I want to give you the biggest hug possible right now! I am so sorry that you've experienced this.

Your friend is clearly misinformed and obviously has not done his research on WLS at all. Everyone always has to throw in their two cents, no matter what. And guess what? Opinions are like belly buttons..everyone has one. Just shrug it off and remember WHY you are doing this and WHO you are doing it for! You really don't have to answer to anyone else or justify your reasons. It's nobody's business.

Having said that, I have a friend who is against my surgery too and we had to agree to not discuss it anymore if we wanted to remain friends. Her reason for disliking my WLS is because she will be the only fluffy friend and I think that makes her more insecure, if not jealous. I love her, but I am not the least bit worried about her or her opinion. In the end, I'm healthier and happier and ALIVE and that is all that matters!

Keep your head up honey! <3

Edited August 11, 201511 yr by Nikikins

Thanks Nikikins! Hugging you back!