Sajijoma

Hello I'm not telling any of my judgemental family either only my supportive husband everyone else will not know and when I start to loose the weight I'm gonna tell them I'm on the low carb life change lol well its not a lie lol

I have a short list that I've been working on:
1.fit in swing at the park and swing race with the kids
2. go down the slide at the park and not get stuck in the tunnel like winnie the pooh
3. run 1 mile non stop then 2 miles, etc til I get to 5miles then I give myself a gold star of achievement
4. get some skin taken off and my boobs put back where they used to be maybe implants if they deflate too much
5. ride on a motorcycle(any volunteers? My hubby hates them)
6. plan a trip to Ireland to see where my family came from(we're from Northern Ireland from Tyrone County if anyone else shares the dream)
7. take a full length pic from head to toe-maybe do a full nude pic for my hubby(tastefully of course)
8. ride a bike and not just a big fat tricycle because I can't balance all of this awesome on 2 wheels
9. go to theme park and ride all the rides that won't give me a seizure
10. buy a bikini and wear it like a boss...at least in the comfort of my own backyard.
11. go on airplane ride and buy ONE seat and need only ONE seat
12. go hang gliding off of Lookout Mountain in Colorado
13. climb all the 14ers in Colorado
14. learn to swim
15. buy a single digit size piece of clothing and have it fit-I've been in plus sizes since I was in 3rd grade so this one is a super huge deal to me.
and that's what I have so far, but if I think hard enough I can find more but it's a start!

So I decided today I was taking my butt and my kids around the entire block on a walk even if it killed me. Well, it nearly did! LOL by the time
I got home I was gasping and wheezing and was very lightheaded so I sat down on the porch to rest. Well, at that exact moment, who calls me? The Psych to set up my psych eval appt. and I'm trying to talk to him and I know I'm sounding like a dumbass but I can't really think straight and I'm gasping still and God, he sounded like he had the rubber stamp for the loonie bin ready with my name on it by the time the call was over. I hope he doesn't hold it against me when we have our appt in 2 wks! Haha it was so bad! Why doesn't anyone ever call me when I'm calm, composed, and not under physical duress!

So I decided today I was taking my butt and my kids around the entire block on a walk even if it killed me. Well, it nearly did! LOL by the time
I got home I was gasping and wheezing and was very lightheaded so I sat down on the porch to rest. Well, at that exact moment, who calls me? The Psych to set up my psych eval appt. and I'm trying to talk to him and I know I'm sounding like a dumbass but I can't really think straight and I'm gasping still and God, he sounded like he had the rubber stamp for the loonie bin ready with my name on it by the time the call was over. I hope he doesn't hold it against me when we have our appt in 2 wks! Haha it was so bad! Why doesn't anyone ever call me when I'm calm, composed, and not under physical duress!

So I decided today I was taking my butt and my kids around the entire block on a walk even if it killed me. Well, it nearly did! LOL by the time
I got home I was gasping and wheezing and was very lightheaded so I sat down on the porch to rest. Well, at that exact moment, who calls me? The Psych to set up my psych eval appt. and I'm trying to talk to him and I know I'm sounding like a dumbass but I can't really think straight and I'm gasping still and God, he sounded like he had the rubber stamp for the loonie bin ready with my name on it by the time the call was over. I hope he doesn't hold it against me when we have our appt in 2 wks! Haha it was so bad! Why doesn't anyone ever call me when I'm calm, composed, and not under physical duress!

So I decided today I was taking my butt and my kids around the entire block on a walk even if it killed me. Well, it nearly did! LOL by the time
I got home I was gasping and wheezing and was very lightheaded so I sat down on the porch to rest. Well, at that exact moment, who calls me? The Psych to set up my psych eval appt. and I'm trying to talk to him and I know I'm sounding like a dumbass but I can't really think straight and I'm gasping still and God, he sounded like he had the rubber stamp for the loonie bin ready with my name on it by the time the call was over. I hope he doesn't hold it against me when we have our appt in 2 wks! Haha it was so bad! Why doesn't anyone ever call me when I'm calm, composed, and not under physical duress!

I have a short list that I've been working on:
1.fit in swing at the park and swing race with the kids
2. go down the slide at the park and not get stuck in the tunnel like winnie the pooh
3. run 1 mile non stop then 2 miles, etc til I get to 5miles then I give myself a gold star of achievement
4. get some skin taken off and my boobs put back where they used to be maybe implants if they deflate too much
5. ride on a motorcycle(any volunteers? My hubby hates them)
6. plan a trip to Ireland to see where my family came from(we're from Northern Ireland from Tyrone County if anyone else shares the dream)
7. take a full length pic from head to toe-maybe do a full nude pic for my hubby(tastefully of course)
8. ride a bike and not just a big fat tricycle because I can't balance all of this awesome on 2 wheels
9. go to theme park and ride all the rides that won't give me a seizure
10. buy a bikini and wear it like a boss...at least in the comfort of my own backyard.
11. go on airplane ride and buy ONE seat and need only ONE seat
12. go hang gliding off of Lookout Mountain in Colorado
13. climb all the 14ers in Colorado
14. learn to swim
15. buy a single digit size piece of clothing and have it fit-I've been in plus sizes since I was in 3rd grade so this one is a super huge deal to me.
and that's what I have so far, but if I think hard enough I can find more but it's a start!

So I decided today I was taking my butt and my kids around the entire block on a walk even if it killed me. Well, it nearly did! LOL by the time
I got home I was gasping and wheezing and was very lightheaded so I sat down on the porch to rest. Well, at that exact moment, who calls me? The Psych to set up my psych eval appt. and I'm trying to talk to him and I know I'm sounding like a dumbass but I can't really think straight and I'm gasping still and God, he sounded like he had the rubber stamp for the loonie bin ready with my name on it by the time the call was over. I hope he doesn't hold it against me when we have our appt in 2 wks! Haha it was so bad! Why doesn't anyone ever call me when I'm calm, composed, and not under physical duress!

So I decided today I was taking my butt and my kids around the entire block on a walk even if it killed me. Well, it nearly did! LOL by the time
I got home I was gasping and wheezing and was very lightheaded so I sat down on the porch to rest. Well, at that exact moment, who calls me? The Psych to set up my psych eval appt. and I'm trying to talk to him and I know I'm sounding like a dumbass but I can't really think straight and I'm gasping still and God, he sounded like he had the rubber stamp for the loonie bin ready with my name on it by the time the call was over. I hope he doesn't hold it against me when we have our appt in 2 wks! Haha it was so bad! Why doesn't anyone ever call me when I'm calm, composed, and not under physical duress!

@@India928 thank you. You make a very valid point and actually reminded of how they have butted into our lives telling my husband who later told me, that they declared we shouldn't have more children because they declared it and because it's unfair to them to have to buy birthday/Christmas presents for all our kids. Yeah, that's definitely the kind of crap I can do without...I think I'm back solidly behind the "none of their damn business" thought again. Thanks for reminding me of what I blissfully knocked out of my mind! That would have been a disaster!

I'd just ask her, "exactly which part is so easy? The liquid diets? The getting your body cut open and having major surgery? The fear of severe stomach cramps if you eat sugar? The fear of choking on a piece chicken because it's too dry? Please enlighten me and tell me which part was easy, because (and this is where I'd drive the point home with a mean glare) it isn't easy and you need to shut your mouth!"

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So I decided today I was taking my butt and my kids around the entire block on a walk even if it killed me. Well, it nearly did! LOL by the time
I got home I was gasping and wheezing and was very lightheaded so I sat down on the porch to rest. Well, at that exact moment, who calls me? The Psych to set up my psych eval appt. and I'm trying to talk to him and I know I'm sounding like a dumbass but I can't really think straight and I'm gasping still and God, he sounded like he had the rubber stamp for the loonie bin ready with my name on it by the time the call was over. I hope he doesn't hold it against me when we have our appt in 2 wks! Haha it was so bad! Why doesn't anyone ever call me when I'm calm, composed, and not under physical duress!

The one thing I took that made me feel comfy was my fleece blanket.
I wish I had taken my own Kleenex and toilet paper...the "John Wayne" stuff the hospital had was harsh!! LOL!!!

BUMP them!
This is YOUR personal journey and the only one you should (for support, assistance and encouragement) tell already knows - your husband! There comes a time when you have to put other people's expectations and feelings to the curb and put you and YOUR family first. This decision to have a weight loss intervention just that.
Remember, you didn't consult anyone when you were eating or working on creating a family - why start now. You are grown, you are mature, you are doing this for your health and you are doing this for your family.
Shut the peanut gallery down or better yet tell your husband, when the time is ready, to counsel his parents in being respectful in your decision for your body.
I type this with support to you.

One more thing.......NOT doing something is also life threatening. They sound a bit like controlling bullies

It's a tough decision to make but in the end it's your decision, I had a tough time deciding wether to tell certain people and I decided that it's my private business and if I want to include them I will, you've taken the step to consider WLS after I can only assume like most of us lots of tried and failed diets.
I had lots of lectures from the people I told about certain diets I could try and the eat less and move more approach, which I'm sure you've heard a million times, yes we all know what a diet is and how to do one, It it's the sticking to it which is the problem, and I've repeated to my friends a million times...you're not fat you don't understand lol.
ANYWAY!
Getting back on track....if you feel like it's going to cause some drama by you not telling them, then maybe tell them but make it clear that you've decided to go down this path and are just informing them of your decision....or just don't tell them it's your life hunny! You're a woman who can make her own decisions and it sounds like your already on your way to making a big one, you decide who knows and you decide what you want to tell them when the weight starts coming off, don't worry about them worry about you!!
Hope everything works out for you ????
Keep us posted XXX

Amen on the you're not fat you don't understand! @@WoodenHearts ????

Before killing him in his sleep with a pillow(I know I considered it w/ mine LOL), try approaching it another way. When I told my husband I wanted WLS he told me to just go on a different diet and maybe it would be different.(I'd been on one for a year at that point and had lost 3 lbs). He got angry, he cut me off and wouldn't let me talk, and he even tried to pull out the kids and use them as a weapon saying that I would be stealing away their Christmas presents to pay for it. I couldn't get through to him speaking, so I wrote him a long letter and told him at the end after he had read this, I wanted him to come talk to me. I poured my heart out in that letter. I didn't hold back. I told him why I needed this, how it was going to help me, how it would effect all of us for the positives, how my life expectancy would grow, I wouldn't live in fear of getting diabetes, and all the statistics I could find on wls from survival rates, 5yr survival at my BMI range without wls, my fear of dying I front of our kids from a heart attack, just everything I kept inside. I told him
how important it was for me to have his support and not feel like I have to choose between him and my life. They should be 2 things that go together. I basically had to sell it to him. It wasn't because he didn't care or was trying to be insensitive to my needs. He honestly did not understand my struggle and was afraid I was going to do something hair brained to try to get skinny at a huge cost of money and possibly my life. We used to watch 600lb Life together and there were several people who died. By explaining my side and giving references to websites with facts, he was able to research for himself and see that it was a good idea. You can still eat out after wls, but instead of buying 2 Entrees, maybe you buy one and split or or if he's not a sharer, maybe buy 1 entree and one healthy appetizer as a meal for you. You just need to get both your sides heard and come to an understanding. When I was done, and then we were done talking, we both knew this is what I need and he's behind me. He actually surprised me the other day and said that he doesn't want me to wait til Christmas if I get approved earlier so I could be on the road to a healthier me sooner. Last night he gave me a magazine that listed some good family friendly hiking trails in our area, because I'd like to be able to go on nature hikes but my weight makes it hard to even stand for 30 mins at a time much less enjoy a hike! It didn't all happen over night, but as he began to let it all sink in, he's really become a big supporter for me getting this done.

I was ok from my tumble, but I was definitely in a lot of physical pain to add to my emotional pain when it happened for many reasons. just glad I didn't try to drive or something.
It's funny how it's all wibbley wibbley timey wimey stuff when you are trying to sleep. Haha I go through conversations from 5 years ago and say "hey! Why didn't I say something" or "I wonder if she ever found Kelsie's shoe" it's funny how right as I'm suppose to go to sleep this always happens or music lyrics blare through my brain. Hard to sleep when the brain has been deluged with the Belly Button Song all day long and thinks you'd like to just hear it one more time!(look it up on YouTube under Rhett and Link and then belly button) all their songs stick to my head and replay at night.

I've been trying to decide who, if any, I will be telling about my bypass surgery before it happens. So far, my list is pretty small. I've told my best friend since I was kid, my college room mate who is 1yr out after bypass, my husband and our kids, I plan on telling my brother's wife because we are super close, but not the rest of that side of the family, and really not much beyond that. I don't want to tell the whole world, and I've decided on my "cover story" as "I'm having a small hernia repair", because it's not a lie, I will be having a small hernia repair at the same time. My Problem is my inlaws. I wasn't going to tell them at all, and I'm still not sure I fully want to, BUT I do know that if I don't mention it to them, and they find out later, they will be angry and stew over it. Like I didn't trust them enough to include them type thing and how dare I do something potentially life threatening and not tell them. I'm just not sure what to do. Do I tell them and have to spend the next 3 months being bombarded with "diets to try instead of surgery" emails and pamphlets over "what to do when surgery fails" and anecedotes about a friend of theirs who had the surgery and it didn't work or it worked too well and she starved to death and other unlikely stories while also being told that my weight could all be solved if only I knew the proper way to pray(because I'm Catholic and we don't know how to pray the proper way like they do) and prayed to God to remove it from me and then pretend he did and walk around like it happened until I see the change. I'm just not sure what to do at this point. I don't want to hurt their feelings or have them feeling excluded, but this is a HUGE super personal thing for me and it's right up there with talking about sex lives in my opinion. It's great to have one, but everyone doesn't have to know the details especially inlaws. So, what should I do? What would you do if it were your inlaws? Would you tell them and let the chips fall where they may or would you NOT tell them and let them get upset and feel not included? I wish there was a third option that didn't involve having to do either!

Good advice. I just really don't know if I should tell them or not. I mean, on one hand they will find out or figure it out one day when I go from this huge down to a relatively normal size and am eating like 2oz of food and all, and I'm sure they'll be happy for me(more for my hubby and kids than me myself) but they will get their feelings hurt that I didn't include them in my decision or tell them anything. It's the lead up to surgery that I'm anticipating will be very frustrating and hard, because I remember how incredibly "well meaning" yet insensitive they were when our oldest son had a brain tumor and needed surgery to save his life. They did everything I mentioned above and stopped just short of saying that we earned it by not believing exactly the way they do and that they could heal him without surgery. Just kinda stressful.

That's a tricky one, only in that I can't tell"you" whether to tell or not. Even with the extensive background you've given, because I don't know what all your life situation involves.
I will say however that if you're having doubts, even a little, explore them inside and out, because once you tell someone, you can never un-tell them.
For me, I made a decision early on that I would only tell a select group, and I haven't regretted it one bit. My family knows, some close friends, and a few coworkers. All of whom I trust implicitly to honor my wish for confidentiality.
I'm taking six weeks off work and I didn't even have to tell them the nature of the surgery I'm having. No problem. I've worked there 27 years. They've seen me fat the majority of the time, and thin, the few times I was successful at dieting, and they've also witnessed me gain it all back, plus more. I was in my 20's when I started there, and now I'm in my 50's. They have eyes. They know my medical struggles, and how they've worsened as I've aged.
If asked, I will just affirm I've had elevated medical issues, needed surgery, and now I'm working on leading a healthier life, so I won't die prematurely. That's it. That's all they need to know. I'll be vague on how much weight I'm losing as I go too, and will refuse to get into numbers or give diet advice. This is my journey. I got here by myself, and I want to get out of here by myself.
It's definitely a question that only the individual can decide in the end. Hopefully with as little regrets as possible.
Good luck!

I've been trying to decide who, if any, I will be telling about my bypass surgery before it happens. So far, my list is pretty small. I've told my best friend since I was kid, my college room mate who is 1yr out after bypass, my husband and our kids, I plan on telling my brother's wife because we are super close, but not the rest of that side of the family, and really not much beyond that. I don't want to tell the whole world, and I've decided on my "cover story" as "I'm having a small hernia repair", because it's not a lie, I will be having a small hernia repair at the same time. My Problem is my inlaws. I wasn't going to tell them at all, and I'm still not sure I fully want to, BUT I do know that if I don't mention it to them, and they find out later, they will be angry and stew over it. Like I didn't trust them enough to include them type thing and how dare I do something potentially life threatening and not tell them. I'm just not sure what to do. Do I tell them and have to spend the next 3 months being bombarded with "diets to try instead of surgery" emails and pamphlets over "what to do when surgery fails" and anecedotes about a friend of theirs who had the surgery and it didn't work or it worked too well and she starved to death and other unlikely stories while also being told that my weight could all be solved if only I knew the proper way to pray(because I'm Catholic and we don't know how to pray the proper way like they do) and prayed to God to remove it from me and then pretend he did and walk around like it happened until I see the change. I'm just not sure what to do at this point. I don't want to hurt their feelings or have them feeling excluded, but this is a HUGE super personal thing for me and it's right up there with talking about sex lives in my opinion. It's great to have one, but everyone doesn't have to know the details especially inlaws. So, what should I do? What would you do if it were your inlaws? Would you tell them and let the chips fall where they may or would you NOT tell them and let them get upset and feel not included? I wish there was a third option that didn't involve having to do either!

@@Smye I look at the financial "set back" as an investment in the future. Just think, you are up fronting the cost now, but this later will save you from having to shell out for other surgeries to repair knees and backs and the cost of diabetes and the testing strips and not to mention the plus sized clothes all cost a butt ton more so for the price of that one hiddeous tent shirt that cost $110 you instead buy a $10 top at target in the regular section and put the diff towards the bills.