Sajijoma

@@caligul I like how you think!

I'll add my male perspective on this...
I am not happy about the extra skin. I am doing everything I can to minimize it four months post surgery. (Protein, Water, limit sun, cool showers, exercise to put as much muscle on as I can, and moisturize). I do remind myself the extra skin looks much better than the fat.
Since I date women my own age (51), I can tell you gravity is the universal equalizer. Every woman who has had kids, is going to have things that an airbrushed SI swimsuit model doesn't have. Yes I notice, but I don't care. Confidence is the sexist thing you bring to the bedroom.

That made it worse.

Well...that gave me some interesting visuals...

Nope.....didnt say anything. ... I don't think I ever will

I swear you just quoted my life from the cruel people making fun of you all the way to can't afford a treadmill or gym and kids won't let me do my dvd's and hubs won't watch the kids so I can. In all fairness his idea of watching the kids has always be to let them run loose and listen for blood curdling screams or the sound of broken glass before doing anything, but it's so frustrating! The one exercise we can do together is Dance Dance Revolution. We have the big floor mat and play it on the Wii and take turns. I'm mom so I get 2 songs and they each get a song of their own to dance to while I'm gasping and puffing between rounds. LOL

I'd just ask her, "exactly which part is so easy? The liquid diets? The getting your body cut open and having major surgery? The fear of severe stomach cramps if you eat sugar? The fear of choking on a piece chicken because it's too dry? Please enlighten me and tell me which part was easy, because (and this is where I'd drive the point home with a mean glare) it isn't easy and you need to shut your mouth!"

So I decided today I was taking my butt and my kids around the entire block on a walk even if it killed me. Well, it nearly did! LOL by the time
I got home I was gasping and wheezing and was very lightheaded so I sat down on the porch to rest. Well, at that exact moment, who calls me? The Psych to set up my psych eval appt. and I'm trying to talk to him and I know I'm sounding like a dumbass but I can't really think straight and I'm gasping still and God, he sounded like he had the rubber stamp for the loonie bin ready with my name on it by the time the call was over. I hope he doesn't hold it against me when we have our appt in 2 wks! Haha it was so bad! Why doesn't anyone ever call me when I'm calm, composed, and not under physical duress!

I think that falls under the heading of a Freudian Slip, my friend. ????

I hear ya on this one! My dad had a stroke last month and for awhile we didn't know if he was going to make it through or not and I haven't seen him in the past 13yrs because of my weight and cost of travelling with 9 of us. It was down to me having to take a plane to see him by myself, and I knew I couldn't fit in one seat, so I was literally going to have to drive 2 days by car to see him. If I had been a regular sized person I could have bought 1 seat and gone with no problems, but I couldn't afford 2 and there's no way I could comfortably fit in just 1. So I just sat here bawling because I was afraid I wasn't going to ever get to see my dad again. Luckily, he's recovered(mostly) and is home now, but I still haven't made it to see him. I'm hoping to go next spring with the kids in my new slimmer form.

Every time I see the word surgery, I keep changing it to sugary instead in my head! Gosh, am I that addicted to the white grains that I even think about them while reading!

So I decided today I was taking my butt and my kids around the entire block on a walk even if it killed me. Well, it nearly did! LOL by the time
I got home I was gasping and wheezing and was very lightheaded so I sat down on the porch to rest. Well, at that exact moment, who calls me? The Psych to set up my psych eval appt. and I'm trying to talk to him and I know I'm sounding like a dumbass but I can't really think straight and I'm gasping still and God, he sounded like he had the rubber stamp for the loonie bin ready with my name on it by the time the call was over. I hope he doesn't hold it against me when we have our appt in 2 wks! Haha it was so bad! Why doesn't anyone ever call me when I'm calm, composed, and not under physical duress!

Every time I see the word surgery, I keep changing it to sugary instead in my head! Gosh, am I that addicted to the white grains that I even think about them while reading!

Oh it's definitely open for a good laugh! It was hilarious in review kind of like watching a bad comedy.
I was pretty upset at how fat I've slipped down, because I used to be able to run the block 5x even at 300lbs and be all cool afterwards and just energized and here I am trudging and gasping like a fish after a fought for walk around once. Oh well though, It's a start! I mean, 2 days ago the farthest I had walked prior to that was to the van at the bottom of the driveway to go grocery shopping or the length of Super Target and back and that was my upper most tolerance, so I AM improving, even if it isn't as much as I'd like.

I hear ya on this one! My dad had a stroke last month and for awhile we didn't know if he was going to make it through or not and I haven't seen him in the past 13yrs because of my weight and cost of travelling with 9 of us. It was down to me having to take a plane to see him by myself, and I knew I couldn't fit in one seat, so I was literally going to have to drive 2 days by car to see him. If I had been a regular sized person I could have bought 1 seat and gone with no problems, but I couldn't afford 2 and there's no way I could comfortably fit in just 1. So I just sat here bawling because I was afraid I wasn't going to ever get to see my dad again. Luckily, he's recovered(mostly) and is home now, but I still haven't made it to see him. I'm hoping to go next spring with the kids in my new slimmer form.

Lol!! Great story that I can relate to oh so well!! Sure the psych appt will go well!

Never again to allow my weight to factor into any of my future life choices! I'm tired of my weight having a vote that counts.

. That happened to me when I was about 20 and I was with a group of friends I wanted to die

Be successful at whatever I choose to do and have the physical energy and lack of aliments so that it's within my grasp.
Too often good intentions or good plans get side-lined due to sudden pains and bullcrap.

@@Sajijoma
glad it didn't "kill you"
if it had, i'd be writing to myself
walking a block is a good start
next you'll be walking 2, 3 blocks etc
eventually running them too!!
phone ALWAYS rings when your sitting, resting, recuperating
back when, i would "run" for the phone, answer it - i would also be out of breathe
mom, or daughter would say"where are you running from"?
would always say something like "i was upstairs, had to run all the way to phone"
truth is i would/could be in next room, just exhausted
breathing hard to get to the phone
good luck with surgery
healthy, speedy recovery
kathy
@@The Candidate
ROFLMAO
i'm not laughing at you, well actually.............
i'm laughing with you
having problems putting your shoes on???
those days are gone for me
but i remember them well
you are still pre-op
this "physical chore" will be gone for you too
really
would i lie to you ??
kathy

Part of the psych evaluation is to determine if you have the will to follow the program. The day I decided I wanted the surgery, I went cold turkey on Cokes. I had a 6 Coke a day habit and I knew the program wouldn't allow that. When I met with the psychologist, I told him what I did. He was pleased. The fact that you have begun exercising is a plus. It is a positive step in the right direction. Keep it up.

At the appt. tell him that's EXACTLY why you need this surgery, because you're winded and can't think straight after walking ONE block ! Good for you for trying, and putting your future health in first place ! You've got my vote ! You go girl !!

If I was only to communicate when I was calm, composed, and not under physical duress, I'd never have a conversation again.
Then again my idea of physical duress is putting my shoes on. ????

Yes, definitely a head scratcher on which way to go. ????. But either way it will be right fit for you, and that's what really matters.
I'm really sorry to hear how you were treated during your son's illness. Nobody, but nobody "deserves" that kind of misfortune, especially on the basis of differing belief systems.
After hearing that, I'd definitely be tempted to keep it from her. Let her make all the assumptions she wants after the fact, just neither confirm or deny. Stay upbeat but firmly stoic. It'll drive her nuts! She has all the makings of a control freak from what you say.

We must have the same family. ..I didn't say anything to my parents. .. just my husband and sister. ..for the very reasons you are speaking about. ..and they are still talking/assuming. ...don't tell them unless you are ready for the stress they will bring.