KenpoQT

Hi All!
I had VSG in November of 2015. I got down to 163 last spring, but since I have regained and am at 188. My father was hospitalized and suffered a double pulmonary embolism. It completely sidetracked my self-care and was emotionally a really bad several months. Thankfully he has recovered. Since then I have been struggling to get back on track. I now feel better and ready to commit to taking care of myself again.
I'm just reaching out to see if there is anyone in the same boat. If so what are you doing? I was thinking to try and do liquids again, but I don't really have a plan. I'm not sure how long I should do Protein Shakes and water/vitamins. My amazing doc said I should stick to 1200kcals/day using whole foods instead of shakes. I'm just not confident that I have the control to eat regular foods and stick to my calories. At least I haven't been doing well at that since I met with him in November. :\
Thanks for the responses!

Check with your surgeon to see if they run a support group. My surgeon’s practice does, though I won’t be able to go to a meeting for the first time post-surgery until March.

Yes! Sharp, stabbing pain on my lower left side, just under my ribs. If I eat too fast or too much. You will remember. I never threw up or had foamies. The few times I overate there was nowhere for the food to go so it just sort of sits at the top of your throat or goes back into your mouth when you try to swallow. Just remember, ELMO, Eat Less, More Often. Small portions and eat SLOWLY.

I would recommend going back to your post surgical protocol. Hitting your Water, Protein, Vitamins and 10K steps goal. That's what I keep doing, going back to the Stage 3 numbers. I also do a low carb high protein diet and now either do an hour of boot camp a day or get my 10K steps in. 60oz water, 90oz protein, 10K steps, Vitamins. That's what I focus on. I don't' know if this will help but it's the only advise I have.

Good Luck!!!!!!!!!!! I know you can do this, with commitment to the protocol you were successful before, you will be successful again!!!!!!!

What a beautifully written post taking us to the core of this experience. Thank you for writing this. I'm just at the beginning of the VSG process but to answer your question...
No one in my family, myself included, knows how to handle stress.
So we eat, drink and smoke instead and as a result die of cancer and heart disease. I am the only one in my family to recognize this and am trying to fix myself and figure out how to handle stress without 'using'. Just the other day I had a disagreement with my husband and felt the stress washing over me, filling me up to where I felt a panic coming on. For once I didn't shove food or a cigarette or a drink in my mouth. Instead I looked at my husband and I must have looked scared stiff because he stopped mid-sentence. I said, "I feel out of control right now. I feel very stressed and overwhelmed. I don't know what to do." And as soon as I said the words I felt better. It made me want to cry because it is a horrible thing for a person who doesn't like to talk about feelings to have to talk about feeling totally out of control. You are so correct. This journey is not really about being more fit or losing weight, this journey is about figuring out what aspect(s) of yourself are broken and figuring out how to fix them so we can truly be healthy, whole individuals.

What a beautifully written post taking us to the core of this experience. Thank you for writing this. I'm just at the beginning of the VSG process but to answer your question...
No one in my family, myself included, knows how to handle stress.
So we eat, drink and smoke instead and as a result die of cancer and heart disease. I am the only one in my family to recognize this and am trying to fix myself and figure out how to handle stress without 'using'. Just the other day I had a disagreement with my husband and felt the stress washing over me, filling me up to where I felt a panic coming on. For once I didn't shove food or a cigarette or a drink in my mouth. Instead I looked at my husband and I must have looked scared stiff because he stopped mid-sentence. I said, "I feel out of control right now. I feel very stressed and overwhelmed. I don't know what to do." And as soon as I said the words I felt better. It made me want to cry because it is a horrible thing for a person who doesn't like to talk about feelings to have to talk about feeling totally out of control. You are so correct. This journey is not really about being more fit or losing weight, this journey is about figuring out what aspect(s) of yourself are broken and figuring out how to fix them so we can truly be healthy, whole individuals.

Okay, I've been forced to do a lot of soul-searching recently.
Despite sailing through any pre-operative psychological assessment (in fact I was so convincing and probably 'cause I was self pay I wasn't actually referred for the full tests), there is a nagging truth which keeps tapping me on the shoulder and making me uncomfortably aware of the reasons as to why I found myself in this position. The position whereby I felt bariatric surgery was my only viable option to lose weight and take control of my diet. Or more accurately and for me; my portion size.
Although I can intellectualise my way out of a paper bag (as was stated by the psychologist when I finally met them), I had, and have, to be honest as to the reasons I ended up this big.
The answer, as painful as it is, was; my mother.
My mother is a tough cookie. Born in a depressive era in Ireland, with enumerate siblings. She was poor and although educated, she was curtailed in her life choices and was always shown that 'if you love someone, you feed them'. I assume this was their truth, as to feed a very big family was difficult at this time, and was the only example her poor long-suffering and abused mother could muster under extreme circumstances. It was also the only expected long-term outlook for women of childbearing age.
The impact of this, was clearly passed down the genetic line. That in this, the nature/nurture argument for our food weaknesses becomes more pressing. This was exemplified not only in the way my mother behaved generally, but how she administered herself in her marriage and how she behaved with her children.
The extent of this dysfunction only became apparent in how skewed my food choices (and more appropriately: portion sizes) were - and how I was born into those food choices - when recently cooking for my mother. She skipped anything resembling a vegetable, ate her body-weight in meat, potatoes and fresh bread (despite my making from scratch; Hummus, Baba Ganoush, Fatttoush and Lamb kebab). She was a wonderful cook herself and we never went without anything (all food groups represented) and it was never out of a packet. However, I got a rude awakening as to how a mothers preferences in showing affection and her deeper psychological state, totally influenced us kids.
When pressing me on my weight loss, she conceded that she'd always focussed too much on the carbs ('tis an Irish thing) when we were children and how she'd misrepresented the importance of bread and potatoes in our diet. This was also, and sadly, tempered with how her inability to show affection, manifested itself in the reward system she'd assigned for herself. In that by feeding her offspring, she'd aligned this with the ultimate expression of love....
As much as I love my mother and as much of a wonderful cook she was; I realised that the burden of responsibility for the reason I was so overweight as a child, which then carried on into adulthood, was as much her responsibility as it was mine. I, too, now feed those I love. Not because I have an incapability to show love, but that these deeply engrained examples have become the example I work from. Despite these factors changing - because of the surgery - I can see where these behaviours are hard cycles to break and have left me with a mental quandary over identity and 'healthy' expressions of love and affection.
I have no idea as to the extent to how people evaluate the impact of bariatric surgery on their lives. Tactical and strategic analysis is difficult to do when everyone is so enraptured by the immediate gratification gained from losing pounds and having all those non-scale-victories (lest we talk about the 'my cats blacker' self affirming attitudes which occasional pervades this website).... But has it forced you to re-evaluate the causes for your issue?
Have you searched your soul and now have a better handle on how you ended up in this position? 'Cause lets face it - most of us can sit in a psychologist's chair for hours at a time, spinning the wheel - but unless you're willing to strip back your insecurities to the bare-bones truth, doesn't it all feel a bit, well, empty?
Have we learnt anything other than to count the carbs, count the Protein, measure the Water consumption and count the calories in order to be fitter, tighter, healthier, smaller, more socially acceptable?
I truly believe our surgical endeavors absolutely force us to re-evaluate our lives, our succor/comfort systems and our behaviour. Consequently and because of how hard it is (emotionally), do we not sneer with derision at those who proffer 'surgery is the easy option'. Out of the curtailment of our ability to chow down and eat our way to 'happiness'; is there not something more emotional and scarily deep, that we've had to confront every time we look in the mirror?
i know I'm not an island unto myself. We were weak. We are, still, weak.
Outside of the victories in maintaining a life of low fat, cottage cheese virtuous goodness. There is a deeper significance to combating the external expression of our hurt.
What are yours?
With utmost respect and affection,
Revs x

Ladies, try some bone broth! The collagen and Protein truly helps to heal our sleeves. Is soothing and full of nutrients.
Get any bones that you like. I get bone marrow kind of bones. Let them sit of 30 minutes with a good sola of apple cider vinegar. That helps the bones to give you all the minerals. Then in a slow cooker, onions, garlic, peppers and any other non starchy veggie you like in stocks. Cover with Water. Set in low overnight. I love to have a fresh cup in the morning as breakfast!
Later, I put it in the fridge to cool the fat and skim it. Then is ready to enjoy in between meals. As a gravy to dip your meat while eating. As a sauce to cook veggies or meat and a great snack before bed!

Hello April Sleevers!
I just had my pre-op and surgery is set for April 17 @ 7:30am.

I guess I am one of those who doesn't mind answering questions, because I was there once, as well. So it takes up a bit of time. I've been sick this past month, so what else do I have to do? If I can help someone, I will. My problem. If I can't take the time to help, what does that make me? When I first started on this site, I didn't know about the search option, so I didn't use it. I admit I am pretty naïve about computer crap. And I don't wish to get too educated on it, either! I also try and answer those questions, if I can, that no one else seems to reply to, and that is because I don't want anyone to feel abandoned. This surgery stuff is very scary, even for us who have been operated on dozens of times. It's a scary thing to go it alone. Stupid to do it? Patient enough to care? Wasting my time? Mine to waste, mine to care, NEVER alone...

Yes, it is easier to read a post with good grammar. However some people have not had the opportunity to learn good grammar. They should feel comfortable here anyway. This isn't Harvard Law Review.
Perhaps you could consider blocking posts from members whose grammar continually offends you.
I think most folks here have already experienced enough criticism and are here looking for a safe place to become more informed.