KF2007

Thank you all for the stories and experiences! i did tell my sister shortly after posting this thread. i have not heard from her, she hasnt answered me at all. I love her and hope one day she realizes why im doing this but until then i will keep reminding myself that this is for me and my daughter. this is to be healthy... not to make anyone else happy. Im glad to know that there is support here if not immediatly from friends/family!

I am so very proud of myself! I have been trying to make serious eating habit changes in preperation for my liquid diet and the diet of a new sleever. ive finally found a Protein Shake that i like and that is gentle on my lactose intolerant body, im upping my Water intake as much as i can, ive cut out junk food, bad Snacks and my "trigger" foods. I am listening to my stomache tell me when ive had enough to eat (which has always been hard for me!). Ive been trying to get outside for walks with my daughter, even after a long day at work. These little things give me the courage and confidence to know that i can do this! I will be a healthy person! It will get harder before it gets easier, but i know i can do this!
I have been reading posts on here for quite a while and i want to thank everyone for all the answered questions, general iinformation and good/bad experiences! its so helpful to know that there is such a great community of people just a click away... we are not alone in this!

WONDERFUL!!!!!!!!! So proud of you! Keep reading this site and it IS indeed very helpful, it helps me tremendously!!! Good luck, keep up the good work and it will ALL be worth it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good job and congrats to you. You'll be more ready than most people are and I'm sure you'll do fine.

You have every right to feel proud!As one of your sleeve sisters, I understand the hard work, patience and courage it takes to walk this path to wellness.
I had my surgery in Dec and am down 50 lbs. I'm healthier than I've beef in 20 years and feel wonderful!
Best wishes to you as you continue your journey ☺️

I am so very proud of myself! I have been trying to make serious eating habit changes in preperation for my liquid diet and the diet of a new sleever. ive finally found a Protein Shake that i like and that is gentle on my lactose intolerant body, im upping my Water intake as much as i can, ive cut out junk food, bad Snacks and my "trigger" foods. I am listening to my stomache tell me when ive had enough to eat (which has always been hard for me!). Ive been trying to get outside for walks with my daughter, even after a long day at work. These little things give me the courage and confidence to know that i can do this! I will be a healthy person! It will get harder before it gets easier, but i know i can do this!
I have been reading posts on here for quite a while and i want to thank everyone for all the answered questions, general iinformation and good/bad experiences! its so helpful to know that there is such a great community of people just a click away... we are not alone in this!

Sounds like your head, heart, and body are all in the right place to begin this journey! Keep up the good work and stay determined. I think you are doing yourself a huge favor by taking on some of these challenges and changes pre-op so you are all the more prepared for your post-op life.

I'm glad you asked this question. I am having surgery this coming Thursday and I am still struggling with telling people. My husband, and a few friends & family know. I'm just not sure how to talk about it with other people. I know I get judged already for my weight & I don't feel like offering myself up for more judgement and criticism. I don't care so much if they approve or not because they don't know what's best for me, I just don't want to be Center of attention for any reason. I guess I will learn as I go about how to talk about it but for now it isn't public knowledge in my life.

Initially I wasnt going to tell ANYONE. Gossiping jerks would have assumed I was on drugs if I didnt tell some of them what was going on.
I chose to tell my sister in law (husbands sister) and my other sister in law (brothers wife), a couple of aunts, one female cousin, my mom and of course my BFF & husband. They are all so excised and super supportive. They are anxiously awaiting the big day.
Now, there are a few family members that I have talked to about just weight loss in general. They have given that attitude that "just eat less, exercise more the weight will come off." or "I ate better / less and I lost tons of weight. You can too at your young age."
I sometimes wonder if people truly think that we havent tried before..yanno? Like I just woke up fat and said hey, I will just go have surgery! Id rather not exercise or eat right. Screw that! I have done the "eat right and exercise" thing since at least 2009. Many people have done this yo-yo crap for 20+ years!
At the end of the day you just have to say this was my choice for MY health..Not yours. If you cannot support it thats your choice. If you dont have something nice to say to me let's just not talk about it-period. No snide remarks. No nit-picking at you.. Just go on about your lives as if the surgery never happened. Kind of crappy to have to do that but its much better than the constant fear of losing more self-esteem over THEIR approval of who you are.

My husband knows obviously. I also told my sister in which she did have the bypass about 3 years back. Thinking I would get support from her because she went through it, I don't. I'm 5ft and have a BMI of 40.6. She feels that I don't need it. Now my sister is 5'1 and use to weigh close to 300lbs. I think she thinks it's a competition with her. I ain't competing against anyone. My family history is obesity. She don't realize that I have hypothyroidism and Polycyctic ovaries. All I wanted was her support but all I get from her is a negative attitude. I told my friend who also had the surgery and she's excited for me.

My Mom & Step Dad were over the moon happy that I was having it (wls). Great right? Not so much for me, it hurt that they were so overjoyed because I have always known or FELT that they thought less of me for being overweight. For example. I have foot issues that are not related to my weight (idiopathic neuropathy and pain, my 125lb cousin has the very same problem, NOT weight related) I have explained to my Mom so many times that this is not weight related and when she found out that I was doing the sleeve she said "Wont it be wonderful for your feet not to hurt anymore?" We have a family cruise coming up in August and shes so excited that I might be THIN by then... I KNOW they love me dearly but all the women on that side of my family are thin and Ive always been the one with a "weight problem". UGH
Then there is my aunt on my dads side, shes always been on the heavy side and we are VERY close, lots of good times and definitely eating buddies. Shes been "supportive" but has brought up every worry she could think of and just asked me to consider them (like "if you STILL want to do it then I support you" type of thing) and right up until the night before surgery she was reminding me that there was no shame in BACKING OUT...
All of the above just annoyed me and added to my stress. Afraid of failing and disappointing my mom yet again and afraid of failing and having my aunt secretly saying to herself "I knew this would happen".. All pressure and thoughts I don't want.
My adult kids were just supportive, asked some questions and said "cool!!""sounds great Ma!"
Then theres my husband, my DEAR SWEET husband. He met me at 145 and I truly believe he found me just as attractive at 265. He just loves ME. He told me "You don't need to do this for your appearance you know, you are beautiful inside and out. but if you are doing it for your health then I support you and will try to drops some pounds too, right along with you". What more could a girl ask for? I love him more today than I did 20 years ago!!

We all started as food addicts or we wouldn't have needed WLS. Some adjust to the radical change more easily than others. Iclemur came here with her struggles and though we don't need to coddle her, or say "poor you", we can offer support and suggestions in a way that doesn't make her feel guilty for having those feelings.

I learned that when my body gets less than 900 calories, I stop losing weight, and that did happen to me early in my recovery.
This is a horrible thing to tell someone who is depressed. Just go feel better! Because it's that easy!

If you've haven't been reading the posts of late (or forever, for that matter), start now! There is so much to offer you on your journey. As for a little sunshine in a depressing state, sounds like it's time for a "spring-ahead"! What I mean is, it's time to start focusing on the future. This time of year can be so depressing, especially as summer seems so far away. So check your body measurements, and check them periodically. This should perk up your outlook, because the measurements will change even if the scale doesn't. Then start planning for good things, like what clothing styles you like (you could start adding pieces to your wardrobe that can carry you through several sizes - stretchy slacks, flowy tops...), or, if you're not ready to spend yet, go and try on things (and don't forget to try styles you never dared to before - you might be REALLY surprised!!!). Take a day to splurge on happy feelings - you don't have to spend money to do it! If you have a general idea of styles you want to focus on, but don't want to spend on sizes you'll soon "shrink" out of, then maybe get a cute pair of shoes (my true passion in life - no kidding!!!) to gear your future purchases around. Most importantly, HAVE FUN with all this, it IS a great thing you have done!

I followed it 100%. I figured if I cheated for two weeks before surgery, then what precedent am I setting for long term success?

My father was actually the first person to suggest it. We both had had bands, and naturally, being a woman, mine failed. After years of not losing weight, my dad came to me and said he'd heard about other people like me, and that they'd switched to the sleeve and done well. Because of my dad's lifelong struggle with his weight and his success with the band, everyone in my family was supportive, as were most of my in-laws.
My father in law on the other hand . . . he thought I would be a failure. And he made that clear many, many times. He's not a bad guy, just tactless. I finally snapped and said that undermining me was really freaking counterproductive, and that he could keep his opinion to himself - it's not like he hadn't already grilled me on how the sleeve worked and how I could (would) ruin it all a dozen times already. I told him to put a sock in it, and to his credit, he did.
Losing 30 pounds in 3 months certainly shut him the hell up!

@@proudgrammy - I love you! You are so grest and supportive of everyone here, THANK YOU! I, too, had a mother like you (God said "enough, already" and took her home 15 years ago at age 64), so I know your grief, but you are SOOOO important to those of us on this website. Again I say THANK YOU! And God Bless YOU!

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" and behold, Elode! Just think of how beautiful your daughter saw you as you came out of your surgery! And with all the wisdom and compassion with which you have answered SOOOO many questions, you ARE truly beautiful, and that's not even lookin' at your lovely locks!

@@KF2007
your sister "might" surprise you
she knows you've been unhappy etc
from what you've said about her
she "might" comment about losing in different ways than surgery
whatever she says - you've probably already done it
in the long run
you've made your wise decision to have WLS
what a smart cookie you are!!
so if she is not happy/maybe even mean
oh well
you don't need her approval
try not to be scared of telling her
the sooner you have your talk, the better
when i told my 4 siblings they were very happy for me
supportive beginning to end
and now through maintenance
oh no............
i almost forgot
hubby and daughter were great and always supportive too
my now 85 year old mom was also thrilled about me having surgery
she was screaming in her happiness
jumping so high, almost hitting our 9 ft ceiling!!
but...............
her happiness was for different reason (I think)
she was always my biggest critic
always "reminding" me about my weight situation
(like i didn't know)
her excitement stemmed from her being disappointed/upset in me
appearance speaking

she took me shopping one day many years ago
in the middle of an area, she yelled to a sales person
asking where the clothes are for overweight people
i could have died!!
of course i'm speaking for her thoughts
who knows maybe i'm wrong
but i'm not wrong
don't worry my friends, she is a big topic in my therapy sessions
its ok, that i complain/bitchhh
but, after all is said and done
she will always be my mom, through good and bad
and i stilll love her (usually LOL)
maybe i said too much about my personal issues
but if i can't tell my wonderful fellow sleevers,
who can i tell?
thanx for listening
i feel so much better now LOL
kathy
@@KF2007 I didn't forget you were the subject LOL
good luck with sis
stand tall and firm
kathy

I only got the "you can do it without surgery" talk from my husband. My parents and siblings were incredibly supportive immediately. I'd go so far as to say that my parents were HAPPY and EXCITED with my decision to have surgery. I think the difference is that my parents and siblings had seen me struggle with my weight my whole life. They had seen all the ups and downs. They had seen me trying to diet as far back as middle school. Whereas with my husband, I was at my lowest adult weight when I met him, having just lost over 50 pounds. He has seen my weight fluctuate up and down since then and he had seen me at my highest weight back in 2009. But then he saw me lose 90 pounds "on my own" only to regain the weight after my plastic surgery. I always had excuses for my weight regains since I was with him.... knee problems... complications for plastic surgery... more knee problems... broken elbow... And he always bought into my excuses, so he still truly believed I could lose and maintain the weight on my own, had I not run into other physical problems. But I knew the truth. Those were all excuses. And I think it diminished my husband's perception of me when I admitted that I had used those as excuses.

I agree with Jamie. I was banded in 2008 and my parents were supportive but didnt think it was a good idea actually. My husband was supportive. I had the surgery and it didn't "take" for me. I thought long and hard about the sleeve, about a year I guess. When I'd decided I didn't want to tell my mom because its a more drastic step than the band, but to my pleased surprise, she thought it was a good idea. So did my brother who is a buff military guy, and that was suprising too. Maybe its because I'm older but my peeps have been focused on the better health weight loss brings and want for me whatever it takes to get healthy. In the end, it IS all about better health - the good looks are ancillary - and the statistics say the vast majority people who are overweight and lose WILL regain. So yeah, maybe when you're ready to talk to your older sister, you could focus on the health and regain issues. However, at the end of the day, YOU are all that matters, so you gotta make the decision that's right for you.

Conscience, schmonscience!
I think you're doing great. I say the bigger, the better. You could even add these:
1. They discovered I have a tapeworm, and it's so big they have to operate to get it all out.
2. Now, they've discovered that the big tapeworm has had baby tapeworms, and they have to do even more complicated surgery to remove the baby tapeworms. It's becoming very dangerous!
3. Turns out it's not tapeworms, after all. It's Amazonian leeches that have attached themselves to the inside of my intestinal walls. We have NO idea how they got in there. It's possible they crawled into my mouth while I was asleep on a Caribbean beach last fall when hubby and I were on that cruise. But it's bad!
4. I just had a pre-op endoscopy, and now it seems that I've also swallowed some car keys--three of them, the electronic kind. And none of them are a match to our cars. My husband thinks this could also have happened on that cruise. One night I didn't get back to our cabin until 5:00 am and don't remember a damn thing after the baked Alaska. Hubby won't stop teasing me about it. I'm pretty pissed.
5. Hubby bought me a beautiful new ring for my birthday and also as an apology for teasing me so much about the car keys in my stomach. Trouble is that he hid it in a piece of birthday cake, and I swallowed the ring! And it hasn't come out the other end yet! The doctors are worried that it's been swallowed by one of the Amazonian leeches. So we're adding that to the list of things they're going to remove during gastrointestinal surgery.
See ... you could get much more creative about all this.
Have fun!

kndoster, Just like probably you and everyone else on here, many times have dieted and lost and have had the usual conversations about it, including what exercising I was doing like going to the gym almost everyday and walking. So now I just say that I made up my mind that I wasn't giving up this time and sticking to it. When people make comments and my husband is there he speaks right up and says, "she's working hard at it and I help her by walking with her as much as I can" . We also says that its not as much dieting as it is cutting way down on my portions and not snacking, cutting carbs, cutting out soda, ect. . So when I'm around people and we're eating and I only eat a little, it all fits. Every once in a while my husband will say "I can't believe we're getting away with this " lol. Maybe someone suspects, I don't know, but unless they are really rude they're not going to bring it up. All I know is if I had told people I would also feel self concious thinking they were judging me in a negative way behind my back. As hard as I have worked in the past to lose, only to see it creep back on, I feel like I deserve to feel empowered by a sense of accomplishment.

That's the million dollar question! I too have a blame it on pregnancy, butt in the front with a lovely apron. C sections, vertical.
I'm a mass of wrinkles on my butt. I've just started doing toning exercises for butt, thighs and abs...who knew I had abs until they started shrieking in pain?
I walk, I dance and jog in my living room.
I'm doing crunches as well as I can get my shoulders off the floor.
I've accomplished some pretty crappy push ups. But, I did them!
Just google some ab toning to do. I'm assuming you're young, that's in your favor.
Let us know what you come up with!

Aside from the obvious health benefits from WLS, I have to vainly confess.... i am thorougly looking forward to seeing my "front butt" disappear. My pregnancy ruined my muscles and on top of being overweight it has really sent me into total insecurity about my body. My work uniform does nothing but accentuate the area and Spanx doesnt help much at all. I find myself making sure I carry something in front of me when I leave my desk in order to avoid the looks of people I pass in the hallways. I realize there will always be hanging skin there but its exciting to know that my most insecure area will not be so notiecable once i get down to a manageable weight. YAY!
So my question is, is there anything I can do to tighten loose skin?