MadameX

On Saturday I ran 10 miles for my half marathon training! I'd been dreading it all week, because 9 miles the previous weekend had been really tough, but I feel like I had some sort of breakthrough with the 10 miles. I felt like I could have kept going (which I guess is good, because I'll have to keep going soon!). My half marathon is only 5 weeks away now and I am really starting to believe I'll be able to actually do it!

I told my husband, kids both adults, my close group of girlfriend's five of them total. My husband took it upon himself to tell all of his friends and all of his coworkers. I was and still am upset about it. I didn't want to have to defend my very personal decision and asked him to not discuss it with anyone. Two of his friends have asked him why was I lazy and took the easy way out. That was the reason I didn't feel the need to disclose this information. I am by no means ashamed of my WLS. I just didn't feel the need to tell these people who aren't apart of my support system.

I am feeling the same way. My surgery date is March 25th and I'm going through all sorts of emotions and thoughts. I'm on the Pre-Op diet right now as well. I will see my dr on Wednesday and do the registration at the hospital. It's getting down to the wire and I'm just now getting my Protein shakes together to get through this preop stage.
I'm sure you will be fine. Just keep reminding yourself why you made the decision to go through with it in the first place. That's what I keep doing. I'm doing this basically solo because I didn't want my family and friends to know. My best friend knows and she was supposed to come down to help me through it but it doesn't seem as though she's going to make it. It looks like it's just me. At least I have a ride to the hospital and home the next day.
Good luck!!

Stay strong. Nerves are absolutely normal for any surgery. Just know that you will be so much better once you've made it through surgery and the post-op period.

Yes they are normal! It's like getting married only you don't have the option for divorce...it's actually permanent! Ha!!

A wonderful young man who was well loved in our community died in an accident recently. One of the speakers at his memorial said that one of the last things he said was, "life is for living, not surviving." That really struck me. But I realized while thinking about it that the statement means something different to me today than it would have before I began my Quest to recover my health. I still think it means that I should enjoy my pleasures whenever I can, but my definition of pleasure has changed. I seek out non-food pleasures much more than I used to, and really am grateful for them. I love my life even more now, even though I have become very careful when it comes to food.< /p>

To someone who says something like that unsolicited, I'd be tempted to say, "Really? Tell me what you think you know about bariatric surgery, and what's so easy about it. The quarter of a million people on my Forum think it's hard, so what do you know that they don't? Are you pulling this ignorant sh!t out of your a$$? Then I suggest that you stuff it back where it came from." But what I'd really say is, "Why would you say such an insulting and ignorant thing? Is that your way of being helpful? Well it's not." Then I'd turn and walk away. And please, please don't let an ignoramus affect how you feel about yourself or the surgery. He's just not worth it! You're making an excellent decision for your health and for your life. Always remember that. And in a few months, you'll be reaping the benefits while jerk-boy watches and stews.

I'm down 62 pounds as of last week. Surgery day 1/5/15
I haven't weighed this week yet
Best thing I've ever done for myself!
Before pic -December 27th
After- Feb 27
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So, I just had my blood tests and MRSA swabs in advance of surgery next week (1st March) and decided that I would detail my journey here. Partly because I want to remember to come back on here when things get tough and I need a reminder of why I am doing this, and partly because I want to have a record of what I’m doing anyway, and I figure that having one that others can read, contribute to and, maybe, learn from (if I ever get to the point of having any lessons to teach) is as good a way as any.
So, my background…
I’m 29, living in London. I’ve always been overweight, ever since I was a kid, but my weight has fluctuated a lot. Generally, when I move to a new place, it falls, until I discover all the good places to eat, when it rises again. About five years ago I managed to get down to about 200lbs, but since then have crept steadily up and now I am about 290lbs.
I think as I get a bit older, I’m realising a bit more the impact my weight is having on me. Over the last couple of years – walking has become more of a chore, for the first time, tying a seatbelt on an airplane has become a problem, I feel less and less energy and more strain on my joints. And I simply don’t want that to get worse. I haven’t felt any motivation to lose weight since that last time in 2009, and I had to admit to myself that I never will be able to do this on my own.
So I have a choice.
Continue to put on weight. Face into my thirtieth birthday at nearly 300lbs, maybe my 35th at 400lbs – who knows. And continue to see my body become more and more unable to cope.
Or I stop. I take action, accept that I’m not going to be able to do it alone and take measures that will force me into a position of being healthier.
It’s also driven by the fact that I want to have kids. As I’m gay, the most likely way for that is to adopt, but I’m pretty sure that I wouldn’t be approved as an adopter at my current weight. And even if I was, I don’t think I could be a good dad as I just wouldn’t have the energy to be rolling around playing with a kid and giving them the attention they deserve.
I decided to self-fund for the operation. I have been diagnosed with sleep Apnoea (in December) through the NHS, and since that’s technically a comorbidity, my GP did say that I could be put on the NHS waiting list. But faced with a wait of two years or more, I decided it would be better to just get it done privately. So I met with my surgeon, Ameet Patel, before Christmas. I had hoped to have it done before Christmas, but I was due to start a new job on the 12th, and he said that if I had the operation on the 3rd or 4th January, he wouldn’t recommend me going to work on the 12th. So I decided to wait until Easter when I could take some time off work.
As it turned out, there were no available dates at Easter, and leaving it later brings me too close to a trip I have planned at the end of May. So I ended up plumping for 1st March.
I’ve had no pre-op diet to follow, so I’ve probably been a bit naughty in what I’ve been eating since I found out my date. I know I shouldn’t but I have been seeing these last weeks as an opportunity for one last hurrah with food.< /p>
Biggest Fears
I was sent my consent form in the post, and seeing the risks in black and white terrified me – especially where it just bluntly lists ‘Death’ as a risk. Even though I’ve talked them through with Dr Patel, and even though I know the risks are very low, they feel very real now.
I’ve started to think about things I need to do in case the worst happens, and again, I know it’s a very low risk, but my family live in a different country, so I’m making sure my partner has their number in case he needs to call them etc. The reality of that is kinda scary.
I’m also scared of complications – and not knowing whether pain is normal or a sign of something more serious.
But my biggest fear is that I just won’t be able to be happy when I can’t eat what I want to. I keep telling myself that being able to go shopping for clothes or go for a run or exercise without wanting to collapse will all make up for any feeling of deprivation – and that I won’t feel that deprived because I just won’t have the same appetite that I have now. But it is probably my biggest fear that I will spend the rest of my life regretting what I’ve done.
To combat that I just keep reminding myself that the price of having that total freedom to eat what I want is looking and feeling like I do now – I plan to keep a photo diary of my journey to remind myself that however much I regret not being able to eat what I want when I want, it will be nothing compared to the regret I would have if I had the opportunity to get healthy but turned it down.
My Hopes
This is the bit that keeps me going.
My main hope – what I desperately hope – is that the tales I’ve heard of your tastes changing are true. I would dearly love to wake up from the operation and be revolted by the foods I used to love and suddenly find love for the foods I used to hate. If only I could like vegetables and low fat foods more! My biggest hope is that my tastes will change, so that when I can’t pig out on chips it won’t matter to me because I don’t want to pig out on chips.
The same applies – big time – to Diet Coke. I’ve never been one for full fat soft drinks, I find them syrupy. But I love diet coke, and I am really dreading not being able to have it. If I could wake up and not desire it, that would be super. I’m not claiming these hopes are realistic.
More generally – like everyone – I hope this works. My thirtieth birthday is in October and I have a vision of how I will look and feel for it. I hope that vision becomes a reality.
I also hope that my relationship withstands the change. My partner has been incredibly supportive. I think one of the reasons I put on weight is that he loved me and found me attractive when we first met and I was overweight (but still, I was only about 200lbs) – I think my mind went ‘yay, you found someone who’s attracted to you even when you’re fat…eat away’. But my weight gain has made me feel less attractive and so has impacted on our relationship. As I say, he’s been really supportive and I just hope that the changes don’t result in any changes to how either of us feels about the other.
So, having rattled on for too long, let the journey begin…

As you read these forums you will find your heartfelt fears are shared by many. I would encourage you to look at the big picture questions. Example, you will likely be unhappy not being able to turn to food for comfort.. do you welcome that big "upset" because you want to change? I liken it to the "bad boyfriend" who really gives you nothing in exchange for your devotion...but isn't so easy to walk away from.
I am older and by the time I had my surgery I was so "over" food as a friend (lying, false friend) but it wasn't always easy..old habits fight back on their way out the door. Through the process I discovered it was easier for me to give up overeating than it was to give up obesity. Interesting..I NEVER expected THAT! I think this is why I went through more turmoil after goal than before.
I am 3 years from surgery been maintaining my transformed body for two years now...it is so worth it but the real journey is much bigger than weight loss.

GNC lean me powder and Quest bar all 20% protein...good luck!!!

Personally I would get some Protein powder in addition to GENEPRO, if you can't find what you need in Sweden. I don't trust that stuff, it seems very shady to me. Also, I am not sure you can buy Genepro in brick and mortar stores, it may be only online.
Cream of Wheat -- do you really want this? It's empty carbs. Why not stick with eating high protein foods?
chewable vitamins -- if your husband is near a Trader Joe's, their chewable High Potency multi-vitamins are great and very inexpensive!
Any chewable Calcium should be calcium citrate. Viactiv is calcium carbonate, which most bariatric surgeons say should be avoided as post-sleeve patients don't absorb it well. You may also want to look into liquid calcium citrate, which may be easier to find. I think Wellesse brand liquid calcium citrate is available at GNC, Kroger, Walmart, and some other stores.
Do you like Peanut Butter? If so, maybe have your husband pick up some PB2 if you can't get it in Sweden. It's good to mix into shakes, yogurt, and cottage cheese for some extra flavor, protein, and Fiber.< /p>
Can you get sugar free fiber powder in Sweden? If not, that might be something to consider having him get as well.
Good luck! I am sure you will do great.

I am a (now) 51 year old male. I have a great life ....married 26 years two college educated kids...great Job... the only thing I have never beaten was my weight Last year I turned 50. While not a tall guy only 5'4.5"... I carried 260lbs... I Have high blood pressure, and thyroid disorders.... at that weight I had problems walking, shortness of breath, was on 4 blood pressure meds, a thyroid med, and an ED med (due to the blood pressure meds), couldnt even exercise due to this weight. Always a lover of food....especially pizza and burgers...but a very occasional drinker and occasional cigar smoker, food was my vice for much of my life. Overweight in different weights all my life since childhood on several occasions I actually got down to a reasonable weight...only to slowly fail again. Exercise, Atkins, Alli pills, you name it I tried them all.... and always failed.....every time.
About 2 years ago a good friend out of the blue had gastric bypass and went from 320 to 160 (there were complications that brought him to 120 for a short time but he rebounded to his current 160). It piqued my interest at the time but I shelved it as well not for me. After my 50th birthday I began thinking about the surgery and did occasional research and discovered that my insurance would cover this operation (Harvard Pilgrim of Massachusetts) if I had at least one co-mobility ( I had 2) and my bmi was >35 (mine was over 40). I had a physical with my doctor and asked him about the options due to my blood pressure and thyroid co-morbilities.....he was great about it.... set me up with Dr Kruegar of the southcoast bariatric program I attended the seminar and was off to the races. I met with him and he felt I was a good candidate for the sleeve (VSG) surgery..
The program started off with an initial appointment with the doctor then over the next 4-5 months... several Nurse practitioner appointments, 2 psychology appointments. 2 nutritionist appointments, a 3 session (2 hrs ea) psychology workshop, a preop nurse education workshop. The scheduling of these appointments took about 4 months for me....I work nights so I could take any appointment they gave and completed the program I think faster than most. The time line was for me Sept 11 seminar.... Oct 8th first appointment with Doctor,,, Psych and Nutrition appointments the rest of October and first week of November. NP appointment end of November.... Psy workshops the first 3 weeks of December... Approval from Insurance Surgery date scheduled and the nurse education the end of December. Surgery date was January 20th. @ Tobey Hospital in Wareham Massachusetts
I can say that I never had that much pain. The first day the worse thing was that after surgery I felt sick and vomited blood from the operation which was normal. I did as they asked and walked as much as I could after the surgery. Day 2 I was able to take in Water at first and other liquids later that afternoon... I was allowed to be released that evening at 8pm...
Other than soreness I was not in much pain at all ( I think due to my general size ). Some people in the program were much bigger than me so i think theirs pain might have been different.
Over the past 4 weeks (30 days) I have lost 33 lbs (starting weight 258.0.... surgery weight 252.5.... current weight 225.0). Clothes are fitting great... I am now down to 2 bp meds and 1 thyroid med. I have to say I haven't felt so good in 15-20 years. I seriously have had no problems. I have to emphasize eating slowly!!!! I bought small plates too!!!! It helps with portion size. I found that if i eat 1/2 of my meal slowly and put it down and wait.... the full feeling either is there or not.... I then pick slowly at the remaining stuff. The full feeling sneaks up on you and it really sucks when you realize that you went too far.... you get physically ill and have to ride it out untill you either accept the food.... or your body wants to rid itself of it.... so beware! A tough element is no liquids with your meal....and it's a hard habit to break... sometimes if you have too dry food (moisten everything with small amts of ketchup etc) hiccups will happen and it will sometimes start a very nauseous feeling....I will sometimes drink the smallest sip of water just to moisten up the food in that case as a last resort.... remember slow eating and moist foods.
A work in progress but doing fine.

As of 2/6/14 I will be at one year.. yahooo!!!
Gastric Bypass
Starting weight: 243lbs
Current weight: 133 lbs
This year has been a roller coaster with many ups and downs along the way. To say this journey was the "easy way out" would be so wrong. I've cried,vomited,stressed that I wasn't losing weight as quickly as others (which was way to harsh on myself). I have forced myself to eat then turn around a few days later and remind myself not to eat too much food. I have obsessed over drinking fluids or having bowel movements. ( sorry if that's too graphic for some of you). I have driven my dear sweet supportive husband crazy with my emotions. I'm not perfect with following the doctors schedule plan of eating, but I follow what my new pouch allows. I allowed myself a treat here and there and maybe I enjoyed it but most of the time I have paid the price for doing so.
I have learned to Celebrate the non surgery victories and stop focusing on that scale. I am happy and healthy for the first time in Twenty-five years. I have no regrets having this surgery other than not doing it sooner.
My true journey is still to come as I approach the maintenance phase (I still need to lose another thirteen pounds)
I know I will make mistakes,but that's ok as long as I learn from them.
1st picture is of me on the day of surgery.
2nd picture is a week ago

The truth is, for many with WLS it is harder to keep it off than lose it in the first place. That being said, the statistics for losing wieght and keeping most of it off show WLS is a better bet than going it alone with diet and exercise (which you will have to do with surgery as well!) My best friend was worried about me too, I was surprised she tried to talk me out of it. Maybe someday we won't need surgery, and there will be a pill or something that corrects the problem, but for now, its our best bet for better health. There are lots of medical research papers out there that tell of the success and problems with weight loss surgery, perhaps one of those might help your friend see the facts more clearly.

I agree with everyone else. Don't let anyone else make this decision for you. People think this a cosmetic procedure. They also erroneously think that diets work. Neither is true! Over 90% of peope who lose weight on diets gain it back, and usually end up heavier than before they started.
I have so much more energy already. I'm loving working out. I find myself running to get places when I'm not even in that much of a hurry! I've just got energy and am enjoying the freedom I now have to break into a run anytime. I'm certainly much less concerned about an early death due to an obesity-related illness. This surgery is truly life-changing.
Yes, there are risks. But the benefits outweigh the risks by miles.

You are choosing to have a medical procedure to help fix a medical problem. Nothing more, nothing less. I don't understand why people don't get it. If you needed to have heart surgery, would your mother tell you to try to work it out on your own? If you needed to have a cancerous tumor removed would she say it is too dangerous and you should try to lose it yourself? Of course not! The thought is ridiculous! There are times when surgery is the best option.
This is YOUR decision, and only your decision. If you don't want to do it then don't, but it has to be your choice. If I were in your situation I would simply explain to my mother that this is what I have decided to do, and it is no longer open for debate. She can choose to be supportive, or she can choose to keep her negativity to herself. Period.

Yes, I am coming to that conclusion myself. I thought I would be open and honest about it because it's always nice to get support but it just seems to be a can of worms! Haha!

This is your life, your health, and your decision. You should make the decision to have surgery on what you want. Your friends and family will get onboard with it eventually. I turned 60 last May and made the decision to have surgery for me and my health. Many people tried to dissuade me and especially when I started losing weight as I was preparing for surgery, but I just told them that losing weight wasn't the problem. Keeping it off was and the surgery gave me the best option for keeping the weight off. It's not about them. It's about you. I was sleeved November 26 and I have no regrets and my family and friends are supportive and respect my decision now. No more negativity. Make this decision for you!

You and I have the same stats, similar build, sounds like. I settled at 152 very comfortably. I could lose another 10 or so, but right now I am maintaining with no effort. I eat when hungry, stop when I'm not and I don't worry about what I'm eating. If I have a bad day, I make great choices the next day. I eat about 1500c on average, some days more, some days a lot less.

I am a grazer. I have a slight stricture and am rarely able to eat more than 1/2 cup at a sitting. My sleeve is very tight. I don't eat much fruit, but when I do, it's usually citrus or berries. Apples and bananas fill me up too much.

I eat a lot of beef Jerky, nuts, seeds, cheese. cheese. CHEESE. Bacon, avocado, cheese. Did I mention cheese? I don't worry about fat and I avoid carbs. I like cheese. A lot. eggs. I don't care for smoothies or yogurt and I rarely drink any calories. (WWs days, you know.)

If I got down to 140, I think I would have to work to stay there. I am happy not working at it. I am a size 8, some 10s if they are from junior's stores like American Eagle. I wear a medium as I still have big (long) boobs.

I'm thrilled.

Yes, I am coming to that conclusion myself. I thought I would be open and honest about it because it's always nice to get support but it just seems to be a can of worms! Haha!

Hi!
Thank you for your reply. Yes, she isn't being mean I think she is scared for me and I've told her I appreciate her concern but just as I respect her opinion she must respect my choice. But the weird things she is coming up with sometimes are getting old. I live in Sweden so there isn't as much info online in Swedish as in English. I think someone that has never struggled with their weight has a hard time relating to something that comes naturally to them.
It's good to hear you'd do it again. I think I'll end up wishing id done this earlier..which I almost did in 2009 when we lived in the US. I chickened out because I was afraid of anesthesia but now I know it's nothing to be afraid of.

I have told some people and I have decided not to tell anyone else because I don't want to have to explain it a thousand times.
What I find is that people who have never had a struggle with their weight think that it's as simple as eating right and exercising for everybody and it's not!. People who know nothing about WLS will tell you all the things they heard other people say and never take the time to research it themselves. What I would say to you is to stop explaining and just ask that those who know be supportive and those that don't, let them guess about it and admire your progress and hard work!