My hubby is very supportive of my decision to have the gastric sleeve done...my Mom, however has been rolling her eyes and mumbling under her breath. She is a great person and we get along well. She explained to my husband tonight that I should re-think my decision. She would rather see me on Weight Watchers or something where surgery doesn't come into play. She has me really worked up, by telling me this is not safe. I am due on February 16. 8 really don't know if I should back out. I know I have to make my own decision...but...can I have a little guidance? Anyone?

My husband is exactly the same as your mum. I really need to do this to feel healthy, he keeps telling me he loves me like I am and shouldn't feel fat shamed by everyone.

He says he's sad that I've been bullied into feeling so bad about myself that I feel I need to have drastic surgery.

I, however, have tried explaining that I'm not ashamed at all, I just want to feel comfortable and healthy and run around and swim with my two young boys.

He needs to lose a lot of weight too, BTW.

Edited January 24, 201511 yr by Totoro

You're always going to have people that don't support your decision. The decision is yours and yours only. I figure by the time someone has made the decision to do surgery they have tried everything. I know for myself that trying another diet one more time would be pointless. Best of luck to you

My hubby is very supportive of my decision to have the gastric sleeve done...my Mom, however has been rolling her eyes and mumbling under her breath. She is a great person and we get along well. She explained to my husband tonight that I should re-think my decision. She would rather see me on Weight Watchers or something where surgery doesn't come into play. She has me really worked up, by telling me this is not safe. I am due on February 16. 8 really don't know if I should back out. I know I have to make my own decision...but...can I have a little guidance? Anyone?

Completely safe. Please do not let people get in your head. I would think that you took care in choosing your surgeon and trust him. Let him do his job. Some people get worried and afraid at the thought of surgery. I had zero problems and zero pain. My hysterectomy was more uncomfortable than my sleeve surgery was.

I'm was in the opposite situation. My husband was opposed to the surgery whereas my parents were very supportive. Ultimately, it didn't really matter to me what anyone else thought. This was my decision to make and I made it for myself. You can't make important life decisions like this to please other people. It's YOUR life and you have to live it. Be sympathetic to your mom's concerns and try to reassure her. But, once you have the surgery, I hope she will be supportive, since at that point it will be done and there will be no going back.

You are choosing to have a medical procedure to help fix a medical problem. Nothing more, nothing less. I don't understand why people don't get it. If you needed to have heart surgery, would your mother tell you to try to work it out on your own? If you needed to have a cancerous tumor removed would she say it is too dangerous and you should try to lose it yourself? Of course not! The thought is ridiculous! There are times when surgery is the best option.

This is YOUR decision, and only your decision. If you don't want to do it then don't, but it has to be your choice. If I were in your situation I would simply explain to my mother that this is what I have decided to do, and it is no longer open for debate. She can choose to be supportive, or she can choose to keep her negativity to herself. Period.

My Parents reacted the same way. They were afraid I would have complications. I am 8 months post op and my parents are so happy for me now. I remember how stressful it was trying to make the decision to have the surgery and not having them completely supporting my decision. Im down 90 lbs , type 2 diabetes is gone, sleep apnea is gone, cholesterol is normal, my high blood pressure is normal now:)) You need to come to this decision without everyones approval. I hope everything goes just the way You want it:)

I agree with everyone else. Don't let anyone else make this decision for you. People think this a cosmetic procedure. They also erroneously think that diets work. Neither is true! Over 90% of peope who lose weight on diets gain it back, and usually end up heavier than before they started.

I have so much more energy already. I'm loving working out. I find myself running to get places when I'm not even in that much of a hurry! I've just got energy and am enjoying the freedom I now have to break into a run anytime. I'm certainly much less concerned about an early death due to an obesity-related illness. This surgery is truly life-changing.

Yes, there are risks. But the benefits outweigh the risks by miles.

I can't even begin to tell you how WONDERFUL it feels to be almost 100 lb healthier (98 lb loss as of today ) my family was supportive, but quick to say it would be ok if I didn't have a surgery. They were so ready to point out I was voluntarily having an operation. How ecstatic I am that I held fast to my decision! Every day, yes every single day I feel hopeful, so pleased with my life and body changes, so ecstatic that so much pain in my knees and feet are GONE. You will probably be able to run and play with your kids, enjoy shopping, enjoy food because a little goes a long way and you appreciate every bite, you can take stairs, take walks, and jumping on the scale makes you SMILE! The choice is with you ultimately. However, you don't get any different results by doing the same things you've done before! Smile and enjoy making decisions for yourself. Whatever choice you make, you will have someone happy with that choice.

Personally, I find that my overweight friends and family think it's "ridiculous" that I'm doing this. On the other hand, my thin friends and family are all for it. I understand that I'm not THAT big. I'm a lap-band conversion. I kept my weight off for 8 years and then began having problems with the band itself. In 2011 we had to stop using it. As a result, I have gained 40+ pounds. If I continue to gain 10 pounds a year, I'll be in BIG trouble a couple of years!!! I don't care what anyone else says...it's a done deal, or it will be in a couple of weeks!

_{I'm scheduled for Feb 16th also! There will always be those who roll their eyes and make it clear they don't approve. They have not walked in your shoes, so don't let them influence your decision. It's hard when those we love do not come along side of us, especially our moms. I will be praying for you. Keep what's best for you in focus!}

If you are scared to talk to your mother about this, you could always show her this topic. Let her read what you wrote as well as the replies. Seeing positive responses from people who have been there already may help her understand.

I understand your mom's view completely. My mother was very anti-surgery unless it was absolutely essential. Bariatric surgery, as you probably already know, is considered "elective."

That being said, almost everyone going this route has struggled for years and this "elective" surgery can be life-saving. Obesity is a disease with a myriad of treatment options. For some people, non-surgical works, for others it doesn't. I'm sure you have thought long and hard about this. Don't second guess yourself. You can respect and appreciate your mother's concern and still stick with your decision and treatment plan. Good Luck!

Same situation..had band removed now im 189 and doing sleeve in February..want to go back to 125 again

Good luck

I'll echo what so many others have said. My wife was completely supportive, while my mother was concerned about the surgery. "Can't you give dieting another try?" Look, I've been "dieting" for 48 years. How was that working out? I had diabetes, apnea, asthma, high cholesterol, and borderline diabetes. I told my mother that I appreciated her concern, but that I had made up my mind and I would like her support. Then she got on board. Now, I'm down 110 pounds, ALL of my diseases are gone, and my mom is bursting with pride. As is my wife. It's the third best decision I ever made behind marrying my wife and having a child together. (Oh yeah, quitting smoking was right up there too.) Now, I hope to live a much longer and fuller life with my family. So, if as @@SuperDave suggested, your mom reads this thread, I'd like to tell her that you really need her support right now, and I predict that in a few months she'll be thrilled with her happier and much healthier daughter! Good luck!!!