Sharon1964

I feel like I should get a gold star just for staying out of the "mud flaps" thread. Just sayin'.

She actually misread it and thought it said "bohemian", not "behemoth".

I feel like I just need to whine to people who will understand.
I usually do a good job of keeping my "Teflon shields" up, to deflect verbal crap that has no effect on me. If a patient at work is being difficult, I remind myself that they are upset and in pain, and it really has nothing to do with me personally.
Until yesterday. I was caught off-guard with my Teflon down. One of my staff pointed out a review on vitals.com of our office. The word that was used to describe me was "behemoth."
Behemoth. A large horrendous monster.
Ouch.

She actually misread it and thought it said "bohemian", not "behemoth".

She actually misread it and thought it said "bohemian", not "behemoth".

I feel like I should get a gold star just for staying out of the "mud flaps" thread. Just sayin'.

I feel like I just need to whine to people who will understand.
I usually do a good job of keeping my "Teflon shields" up, to deflect verbal crap that has no effect on me. If a patient at work is being difficult, I remind myself that they are upset and in pain, and it really has nothing to do with me personally.
Until yesterday. I was caught off-guard with my Teflon down. One of my staff pointed out a review on vitals.com of our office. The word that was used to describe me was "behemoth."
Behemoth. A large horrendous monster.
Ouch.

I feel like I just need to whine to people who will understand.
I usually do a good job of keeping my "Teflon shields" up, to deflect verbal crap that has no effect on me. If a patient at work is being difficult, I remind myself that they are upset and in pain, and it really has nothing to do with me personally.
Until yesterday. I was caught off-guard with my Teflon down. One of my staff pointed out a review on vitals.com of our office. The word that was used to describe me was "behemoth."
Behemoth. A large horrendous monster.
Ouch.

I feel like I just need to whine to people who will understand.
I usually do a good job of keeping my "Teflon shields" up, to deflect verbal crap that has no effect on me. If a patient at work is being difficult, I remind myself that they are upset and in pain, and it really has nothing to do with me personally.
Until yesterday. I was caught off-guard with my Teflon down. One of my staff pointed out a review on vitals.com of our office. The word that was used to describe me was "behemoth."
Behemoth. A large horrendous monster.
Ouch.

I feel like I should get a gold star just for staying out of the "mud flaps" thread. Just sayin'.

I feel like I should get a gold star just for staying out of the "mud flaps" thread. Just sayin'.

On another forum I used to hang out on, the peeps were discussing the way girls' genitals look. One particularly charming guy used the phrase "floppy meat flaps". I almost thought it was the same guy for a minute, then realized he said "mud flaps".

I feel like I should get a gold star just for staying out of the "mud flaps" thread. Just sayin'.

That would have earned her the icy stare of death and a very slow, "I'll... let... you... know... when... I... need... your... advice."

That would have earned her the icy stare of death and a very slow, "I'll... let... you... know... when... I... need... your... advice."

That would have earned her the icy stare of death and a very slow, "I'll... let... you... know... when... I... need... your... advice."

I would suggest counseling. It sounds like you buried some issues that won't stay buried. Time to bring them out into the light of day and examine them.

Call back and ask for a supervisor. Or go to your surgeon's office and sit with them while they call.

Do you think perhaps they aren't REALLY asking for opinions on how they look, but instead are looking for some positive reinforcement?

Do you think perhaps they aren't REALLY asking for opinions on how they look, but instead are looking for some positive reinforcement?

It sounds like you haven't had surgery yet (it wasn't clear to me). What kind of help are you looking for? Are you looking for advice? Okay, call your surgeon's office and fess up. Be prepared for the consequences of your actions.
Speaking of consequences, here are a couple of statements to examine:
"the two week Meal Replacement diet went horrible I was not able to adhere"
"now I'm 3 days out on a clear liquid diet which I am tolerating"
It sounds like you have a mindset that needs some adjusting. You are making these choices; they are not things that are happening to you.
More: "I haven't done what I was supposed to but I am so ready to get this done and on with living healthier"
What makes you think you are going to live any healthier after surgery if you're not doing what you're supposed to do before surgery?

Do you think perhaps they aren't REALLY asking for opinions on how they look, but instead are looking for some positive reinforcement?

Do you think perhaps they aren't REALLY asking for opinions on how they look, but instead are looking for some positive reinforcement?

Do you think perhaps they aren't REALLY asking for opinions on how they look, but instead are looking for some positive reinforcement?

So I posted about my colonoscopy from earlier this week. The day before the colonoscopy, I had my psych eval. These are some of the things that we talked about during my psych eval.
Ever since I decided that "enough was enough" and I wanted to have WLS, back in November 2014, my right eyelid has been twitching. Almost constantly. It drives me crazy, but it's what happens to me when I'm stressed. I couldn't figure out what I was stressed about, but I figured it had something to do with my decision to have WLS. I have spent a lot of time since that decision really exploring my past and how I got to where I am.
I looked at pictures of my childhood, and saw that during the time my father was telling me I had to diet because I was too big, I was actually normal. I was shocked. I was shocked at how much one person could really screw you up. I thought about all of the things he did over the years, and the things that brought me to cut him off about 10 years ago and stop all contact. He is a mean, toxic person and is no longer in my life.
I also thought about the time in high school when I weighed 195 (I'm 5 ft 7 inches tall) and thinking, "well, it's okay, because I'm not 200 pounds." I remembered in my early 20's weighing 281 pounds and thinking, "well, it's okay, because I'll never weigh 300 pounds." Now all through this time period, I was still dieting, losing weight, then regaining weight when I couldn't keep up with the demands of the diet. But hey, it was okay, because I wasn't XXX pounds, right?
Then in my early 30's, I got serious (or thought I did), and dieted down to 225. I married someone who liked big women and was not supportive in my efforts to lose weight. Two years later, at 350 pounds, I got pregnant. When our daughter was two years old I left him. I continued to struggle with weight. About 5 years ago, I got on the scale and it read 397. I was shocked. There was no way in hell that I was going to let the scale read 400. I went back to my go-to plan, Atkins. I lost 75 pounds. But I couldn't keep it up, I was still emotionally eating and eating out of boredom.
But hey, it was okay, because I have tons of clothes (thank you, internet shopping), boots that fit my fat calves, and even tights that fit. There was nothing wrong with being a BIG BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, because that's what I was hearing all over the place. Accept who you are! Accept your size! That's the message I was hearing.
People couldn't believe that I was 50 years old. They would say, "you have no wrinkles" and I would respond, "that's because I'm fat - only skinny people have wrinkles." And they would laugh and I would laugh. Because it was okay to be fat, right?
In November 2014 I got on a scale and it said 403. I felt sick to my stomach. I did some soul searching. I decided to stop kidding myself and to stop accept being fat.
I told the psychologist that Fat Acceptance did me no favors. It may have done wonders for other people's self esteem, but it just enabled me to be fat. Now most of you are younger than me, and you may not remember what things were like before "FA" became a thing. There was no such thing as "BBW" - the term hadn't been invented.
I told the doc that I was afraid of failing. That I had read a post here about someone who was afraid to get rid of her fat clothes, because every other time she had done that, she had to go back and buy that same size again when she failed in her efforts to keep the weight off. I told him that I had a hard time with failure (and had been my whole life, another thing to thank my father for), and I think that was what I was really stressed about.
I poured all this stuff out to the psychologist, things I had never, ever admitted, even to myself. And it felt great.
And then my eye stopped twitching.