jane13

I don't think she meant any offense. Never did she say all band patients were like that. I think what she said is true for a number of people, but she didn't say it was for everyone. I think she was offering her input as you are. No two people have the same story. Your experience is yours. The OP asked a question, she gave her response as what she had been told, not to attack or offend any of us with bands. Easy now. Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G890A using the BariatricPal App

Ps. Not everyone. Some of us long term bandsters are a bit quieter. I'm coming up on 10 years.
Our esteemed founder, Alex is headed for 11 or 12.
There are people with band problems.
Best of luck. Keep working the program and have faith!

My surgeon stopped doing the band about four years ago.

Just to clarify my earlier post:
My adult son (30 y/o) is a registered nurse, and weighs close to 300lbs, and has
known about my WLS surgery and we have discussed in detail over the past 2 years about my journey (the pre-WLS and post-WLS stories). I think, if he openly asks me about my journey then I can inquire about his plans for getting healthier. He says he is eating healthier - I didn't see it. He has been telling us for over a year that he has been eating better, but he is steadily gaining.
I have 5 kids - 2 have never had a weight problem and 3 have fought their weight (like their mom). Two have managed to do pretty good with their weight. This son seems to struggle and I don't think talking openly about my WLS is preaching. When he asks me questions and I answer, I think it opens the door for me to ask him somequestions as well as long as it is a private conversation. He doesn't date and lives alone and rarely socializes.
I have never put my kids on a diet, fat shamed them, etc. I had family who DISCUSSED my weight, and one still does, at every get together when I was growing up. I told my beloved Aunt and Uncle that I weigh 175lbs, so either accept me as is...or don't. He has stopped as of the last visit.
I just want my son to really look at himself. I know at 282lbs I didn't think I was that heavy until I looked at pictures later and thought OMG, I was really bigger than I thought. Maybe I am the ONLY person who didn't SEE myself as heavy as I was pre-WLS or I would have done something a lot earlier (maybe at 225lbs, instead of 280). I just want him healthy.

I don't mind answering most questions. I think the only question that bothers me is the "I lost 1 million lbs in 3 weeks, and my weight hasn't changed for 3 days, what am I doing wrong?" Mainly because I think it has the potential to make a slow or average loser feel bad. In addition, the expectations of the surgery is a bit outrageous.

Awww...I am so sorry. If words from strangers on an internet forum "have you in tears", the world wide web probably isn't the right place for you.
No one here is judging ANYONE for being obese (except maybe swedish fish girl). My biggest take-away from your post above is how low your self esteem is. You won't go on Facebook because you feel that you have nothing to offer? Heart-breaking! OF COURSE YOU DO!!! But you can't find your self worth on an internet forum full of strangers.
Have you sought counseling? Your body is going to go through so many hormonal changes after WLS. What you feel now is going to be magnified a thousand times and the ups and downs you are going to experience are dizzying.
Find someone to talk to if you haven't already. I think it would be very beneficial.

I think that it might not be obvious to people reading this thread that it's in the "Rants and Raves" section. I know sometimes on my phone I don't see what section the thread is from.

So here is **MY** "problem with the above statements...
A newbie asks if if they can have tacos 5 days post op.
If I say, "No. That's a really bad idea.", some readers get it and run with it. Some get pissed because I didn't say, "Awww...baby girl....I know you really really really want them delishhhhhussss tacos and I did too. It's so incredibly difficult to be in your shoes and everyone in the world should eat mushy brown stuff while you acclimate to your new feelings and surroundings. If you do choose to eat a taco, or bite, chew and spit, you will be OK. If you do it just this once, I get it, I did it too...."
If I say, "Check with your surgeon.", some readers will get it and run with it. Some get pissed because I didn't say, "Awww...baby girl...I know you really want them dellliiiissshhhhhusss tacos and I did too. I know you don't want to talk to your surgeon because you just want to hear it's ok, so go ahead, just this once. I am sure you will be JUUUUUUUUST fine."
If I say, "Sure! Do it! Have at it.", I'm sarcastic.
Many of us Vets can't win because we can't read minds. Many of us don't care that we can't read minds, either, we just go with option A or B and get blasted because we actually give a sh^t about the reader and those lurking. If that makes me a monster, so be it.
Yes, we all have different experiences, but we also have different personalities and learning styles. Some choose to be optimistic through our journey, good and bad, some choose to play victim, some choose to work harder and patiently through stalls, some choose to blame the surgeon, some choose to respond to point blank answers, some choose to respond well to warm fuzzy... Some choose to follow their doctor's plans, others choose to eat tacos, steaks, candy and ice cream. It's human nature.
It's not my problem if you choose to read snarky or sarcasm or mean or grumpy or disgruntled into a response that was not written that way or not. My words are MY words, how you choose to interpret them? Out of my control.
As for long standing jokes and commentary amongst the friendships that have grown here? Are those against the policies and procedures? I don't think so. Nor do I think they need to stop. Once they do, this site loses. Just because some choose not to incorporate themselves into one of the many cultures here, does not mean they should not exist.

Why YES, you can!!!!!
Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I've only been here for about 6 months, and I'm only 3 months post-op, but you're really on the wrong track here. When September is 6 months in your rearview mirror and you've actively participated, do me a favor and revisit this topic. I can promise you your attitude will change. There is a small handful of dedicated, seasoned and well-informed veterans on this site who tirelessly answer the SAME 20 QUESTIONS over and over and over and over and over again. They VOLUNTEER to do this. Willingly give up their own time to try to help the rest of us. So when one of them starts a thread about what she will/won't answer questions about, it's long overdue and they don't need a 2 or 3 week member, still pre-op, telling them what they should or shouldn't do. I was not a huge fan of some of the vets when I first arrived, but that's completely changed as I observe the rank stupidity they're willing to deal with day after day, solely to ensure that anyone reading doesn't take any of the rank stupidity to heart. Try dealing with the vets as carefully as you'd deal with the newbs...they deserve that and more, from all of us.

Umm a lot of us never asked the kinds of questions people ask. I didn't, I did my research and actually picked a decent Dr. So I can't relate to people asking dumb ass questions or people that don't understand science or basic math. I skip a lot of questions because I am annoyed with them and I don't want to be snarky. Besides there are plenty of people here that are still pre-op or barely 3 months giving out advice like pros so YOLO. pizza, tacos, steak, and all the liquor people want, don't let that expensive major surgery hold you back from the life you deserve.
This is the rants area people can complain all they want.
I'm riding out the next 3 months until I can post in the Vets forum the best way I can. I have a question I want to ask but I only want input from Vets so I'm waiting. It is a long hard wait...

I don't mind the redundant questions as much as I mind the questions of those who are simply looking for validation for bad behavior. While I wish people would use the search bar more, I'd be really happy if people used their heads more.
And then when they get mad because someone tells them something they don't want to hear? It's amazing. That's all I can call it. Amazing.

Wait! I'm not even part of this thread!!!

Let's be honest. Some members are simply looking for validation to eat around their surgeries as opposed to information.
You stick around long enough, you'll be able to spot the difference.

@@Caribear I will definitely stick around! And there will always be people to answer questions. To be honest some of this is me trying to learn to step back and be less of a know-it-all

I think I exhausted Google of all its information on these surgeries before I even got to my pre-op diet. LOL Now my questions are more about others' experiences.

New members know that they can google questions, but they are looking for advice from an experienced person. They are looking for the experts, not just random answers.

When you are burned out on answering questions, it is time to take a break and let others do the answering. What attracts people to a board is the ability to interact.

When everyone quits interacting and simply points to the search bar, then the board will cease to exist.

How about "I had surgery this morning at 8, it's 4 pm now and I just had a crunchy taco and shot of whiskey and now I feel guilty...is that bad?"
~ Ok maybe that's a little exaggerated....but only a little! Some of the questions are outright scary. After reading some I often wonder how they haven't injured themselves or even caused a rupture, but I don't dare say anything because....you know...bullying and all.

@@Icantbelieveit
I'd rather bacon, pork chop and Cheeseits 3 days post op
With a magnum of champagne ......

sleeved at 52, no regrets except that I wish I had done it sooner!!!!
I am not textbook...I like to drink wine, but I behave and I love feeling like a human being. People acknowledge me, I am no longer ignored strictly because of my weight. I am very opinionated and out spoken, a b*tch,
Jane

I am almost 15mos post VSG and I have lost over 100 lbs. I can eat between 1/2c to a cup of food, depending on density and when/what I ate last. I have never vomited, or dumped. I am within 10lbs of my goal. I know to keep me honest I weigh at least every other day and I weigh out my food for work for Breakfast and lunch. I fluctuate about 2lbs. I didn't put on the weight overnight and I have battled the bulge since I was in my early teens (40 years). I will always mentally "track" what I eat and continue to be a scale junkie...the sleeve is a tool. I use my tool daily - - - - NO REGRETS!

@@Womanvsmirror you need to really look at yourself and include how you feel I that assessment you are also under 5 ft and I think, in general, you will probably "see" skinny in the 135 lb range or less. I am 5'8" and at 175ish I feel pretty good but would feel skinny closer to 150...
just my opinion.

Okay, but.....can I still have pizza 3 days post op?

I read and comment on frequent-flyer forum (Flyertalk) since I travel so much for work. On there (at least on the Delta forum), people are direct verging on rude telling people to use the search feature when they ask routine questions or start threads with topics that have been discussed and discussed and discussed. While I do find the way some people act on there off-putting sometimes, you don't see nearly as many of the same old thread topics on there like you do on here.
I have only been around here for a short time, but even in that time, I have developed similar feelings to those that have been expressed in this thread. For me, it isn't as much the posting about things that you could find through a simple search, it is more about the sheer unprepared nature of SO many people who have had (or will be having) this surgery. I get that I am a bit of a "bariatric goody-two-shoes." I am going to do exactly what my doctor and his staff have told me to because I am going to be successful and healthy and no food or drink is worth more to me than that. I also get that everyone doesn't have that much drive in them, and I also get that food addiction is real, scary, and daunting. But come on, all of these posts about "when I can have XYZ?" or talking about "cheating" on pre-op diets or post-op diets signals really quick that A LOT of people on this forum are ill-prepared to embrace this life change or never really intended to change in the first place. And they will be the very people later on who say this doesn't work.
Yes, people need a place to vent, and yes, people need to be treated with compassion, but they also need a kick in the ass sometimes and a serious reality check. Thankfully, we have some bad-ass vets like LipstickLady and Bufflehead (among others) who always keep it real.

I find myself typing responses and then deleting what I've typed. I agree with you, Bufflehead. I don't think like I have anything to add at this point, and these questions have been asked and answered to death. I'm going to go a step further (and this is just me). Reading posts here lately pushes me over the edge. I think for my own sanity, I'm going to have to take a step back. I am upset at myself for this since I feel I actually have some information to contribute, given that I lived with VSG for 2 years and then had to revise to RNY to treat my severe GERD. Unlike you, Bufflehead, I am a bit annoyed at the fact that some who post haven't read the past posts on the site or done any research about the surgery. Anyway, I'll keep my feelings about some of the questions to myself.