lovingme2014

I was sleeved on the 20th, came home the next day. The 6-8 hours post surgery were so dreadfully painful I thought I'd made a huge mistake and I'd be doomed to months of agony. But, things really picked up quickly.
On the 22nd, my first full day at home I promised myself, I was going to make my liquid and Protein goals regardless of how much I just wanted to never use my mouth again. And I did make those goals. It was really hard, but I managed to just make it. The next day my pain wasn't bad so I decided to start skipping my pain meds, and I only took them at night. I made all my goals again, and managed to walk a few blocks. The food and Water on day two was much easier to handle.
Today, my third full day at home I had a very good day. Went for a nice long walk when the sun came out, and had no problems with pain or nauseau. I made all my goals for the third day in a row. I'm proud of myself. I also got on the scale today, and am thrilled with the weight loss I'm already seeing.
I'm sure there will be difficult days to come, I'm just happy that there will also be days like today, where everything seemed very doable and my body felt healthier. This is going to be a very good thing.

Congratulations!

Love it!

confidence is sexy.....and it shows (clothes or without)
you deserve every bit of happiness

I have BCBS that's apparently Premera, though I thought it was anthem (long story) and my surgeon just sent in my docs for pre-approval this week. They say this company usually gets back in about two weeks. I also didn't have much in the way of prerequisites. Hoping it stays that way..

My Brother died at age 60, my sister died at age 63...both morbidly obese, with ALL the worst that can happen from obesity.
Between the both of them...
Heart condition, circulatory problems amputations, blindness, kidney failure - dialysis every 3 days, severe infections putting my sister into comas..
I can go on and on, but needless to say it was ugly!!!
So there I was, age 56, Dx'd with diabetes taking daily injections and oral meds, then the heart conditions started resulting in angioplasty and stents.
When they went in, they found scar tissue from a previous heart attack which I never knew....can happen to diabetics, "Silent Heart Attacks" because of the nerve damage.
I was seeing my PCP, Cardiologist, Endocrinologist, Dermatologist (from all the severe skin issues), and a Podiatrist (diabetes effects the feet) on a every 4 month schedule. (my teeth and gums suffered also)
My blood work was off the charts, all over the place. You name it, it was out of whack and I was taking more medications than I can count and could not get anything under control.
I could not sleep at night because of the pain in my legs.
I would have to sit, out of breath just from carrying groceries into the house.
My PCP sat me in his office, knee to knee, and said if I did not start loosing weight, I'll be dead very soon...following my siblings.
I told him, and he was also aware, that I have tried, and FAILED, at every diet plan under the sun.....EVERY ONE!!!
He said, as a Last Resort, that I should go see a Bariatric Surgeon, and WLS may be my only hope.
So he referred me.
I never thought I was a candidate, or that WLS could be an option for me. But the surgeon said I was EXACTLY the type of person needing something as drastic as surgery...to save my life.
Believe me, WLS is something I did not want to do, and I feel (felt) ashamed that that is what it led to.
But I can say that today, I do not have one single regret...has been the absolute best thing that ever happened to me...it gave me my life back, along with perfect health, and a life style free from ever dieting again, and no fear of ever gaining weight back as before.

First and foremost, I am cold as a mothafookah! ALL THE TIME.

I am wearing jeans when most people are wearing shorts. I always have a tank top on under my sweater and am usually wearing fleece leggings under my pants. As a fatty, I never ever wore a coat unless I was skiing and now, not only do I wear one, but I carry a spare if I am going in to my kids' schools to use as a blanket.

I keep my house at 74 and I turn on the fireplace when I am downstairs. I set my car thermostat at 88 and can hardly bear to get out of my car and go into stores. The grocery, which is always colder than any other place including Antarctica, has me scurrying through as quickly as possible and shaking uncontrollably by the time I am out of there.
I sleep in wool socks, fleece leggings, a tank and a long sleeve tshirt. I wrap myself in a wool blanket and then get under the sheet, fleece blanket, down comforter and regular comforter. (Husband is pretty sure he's not getting any action until summer. He's probably right.)

I am cold cold cold cold cold and it's 45 degrees outside. I am probably not going to survive when it hits the teens.

Second is something I just figured out last night. I can no longer have a glass of milk with my brownie/muffin/cake. Yeah, yeah, I know. I am not supposed to be eating those things, but I had the sleeve so I could live a relatively normal life post op. I have a slight stricture so I am forced to follow the no drinking for an hour after eating rule or I will vomit. I don't like it, but I've leaned to live with it after 18 months.
Last night I ate half of the best chocolate chip muffin I've ever had. I wanted a glass of milk SO bad, I couldn't resist. I poured about two inches and it was so delicious, I chugged it. The milk and the muffin revisited. Quickly. I barely made it to the bathroom. Ugh.


SO YES. I found two things I hate about my sleeve. That said, there are so many HUGE things I love about it, I don't regret it for a minute. I can bundle up, I can wait on the milk. I can't imagine ever going back to where I was. I am thrilled about my decision despite these two stupid little things and I am so happy I had surgery. SO HAPPY.

Like many, My health was terrible. C-pap and oxygen. Type one diabetic out of control. Diabetic complications stage two kidney damage. I was a time bomb on 11 types of medication.
What motivated me. My mother and father in law. Both had stage 4 cancer last year. I provided hospice care for my father in law and traveled to see my mom for a weekend. They both passed 4 days of each other. They both handled knowing they were going to die with such grace. I figured the least I could do is get control of my life. Not only to extend my life but to live a life they were not able to. I do all in memory of them.
Today I am 5 months out and 100lbs down from my highest weight. I had medical treatment to deal with a disease. I put in the hard work. I am learning to be comfortable with the change. It's just happened so fast. I need time to catch up with my body. It does not define me. Would curing your type two diabetes define a person?
I'm loving and living life.

What motivates me? That's pretty easy- I've got too much left that I want to do & too many people to annoy
Seriously, if I'd have answered these questions 20 years ago, my answers would have revolved around wanting to prance around in a bikini and step over all the fellas that were falling at my feet. Vanity is what initially drove my weight loss attempts, as I had no symptoms or ailments that impeded my life. As my half-hearted attempts never really worked out for me, I realized that maybe I really was ok the way I was. I was a big girl, get over it. You can't look past that? There's the door- heck, I'll even hold it open for you.
Forwarding ahead those 20 years... and my reasons have completely changed. Sure, I'll love the imminent weight loss I'll have from my RNY- I don't remember the last time I've bought clothes that didn't have an "X" in the size, but prancing around in a bikini at this point in my life wouldn't be a comfortable option for me regardless of my size. My motivation now is to resolve my diabetes. Period. Well, that and the annoying pain in my right hip that's developed over the last year or so. Anyhow, I still took my sweet time to make this decision- I talked, talked, talked and read, read, read the good, bad and the ugly about WLS before committing myself to a whole new life. And you know what? It's been pretty good so far. Sure, I'm looking forward to actually chewing some food in the future, but all those things I thought I couldn't live without (like soda, ice cream and anything bread-related) really hasn't bothered me so far. Why? Because my glucose readings have been around 100 since the day I came home from the hospital. No better motivation than that for me.
My weight never controlled my life. No one forced me to eat anything- that was my doing. And now it'll be my undoing.

I'll keep this brief because I'm headed into a support group meeting. I got WLS because I needed to take control of my unmanageable life. I had to get out of my food fog and make some huge changes. I did and I have. WLS saved my life in more ways than physical. Great post, Lisa.

What is the reason that you had WLS? Is it all about being thin? Being what others consider "socially acceptable"? Is it about wearing certain clothes that you think or feel just don’t look good on you now? Perhaps it’s your own reflection in the mirror or a photograph??
What is it that motivates us to keep on going through all the trials and tribulations that WLS entails? From the moment we think about or hear about the possibility of this surgical solution to our “problem” or would I be remiss if I said ailment?
Are you ailing from obesity? Do you count yourself among those that feel that they have a disease? Or perhaps you fall along the lines of those that think they have other diseases because of their obesity? Perhaps you have diabetes and you think that maybe if you weren’t overweight you wouldn’t be diabetic? Or have heart disease or sleep apnea….?
Are you ailing from obesity or is it what ails you?
Go back to the beginning of our journey what motivated you to begin looking into and researching WLS as an option? Was it something your Dr. suggested? Why did they suggest it? Did they think that you would be cured and that all that ails you might diminish with the pounds and numbers on the scale?
Today, have you lost a significant amount of weight only to find yourself still ailing from obesity or to find that obesity is still what ails you?
Are you comfortable in your skin? Do you like your reflection or your photograph?
You’ve jumped through the hoops or you are in the process of defining the hoops and preparing to jump through them. You are putting in the work, have you ever worked so hard for anything else before?!
So…what does it mean to you??
How do you define your WLS or more importantly I think is: How has or does WLS define you?

Beautiful post! Thank you for sharing! My biggest fear going in was telling my daughters. Their acceptance of the whole idea, somehow, seemed essential to my success. I was lucky and got it. Looks like your mom was lucky too!

@@cryssyd3
i would have two to three helpings of everything
turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce, pumpkin and mince meat ple et al
GOTCHA!!!
thats what i used to eat before loosing 105 lbs and reaching goal
it has been scientifically proven that November 25th 2014 is the best day to have WLS
think of all the food and calories you will not be eating
all the more weight you will not have to loose post op
thanksgiving day - give thanx for the start of your new healthy life
happy Protein shake day
good luck
speedy recovery
kathy

So, I'm not going through the thinking phase - oh boy where do I start?!
First off - I'm going for surgery 6 weeks sooner than originally planned. I was excited to get it done after the holidays because it meant I wouldn't have the issues or discomfort of sitting at holiday dinner with my big Italian family. I will be on liquid. There goes the antipasta, lasagna, and ham. AND! My birthday is 4 weeks after surgery! The lifestyle of drinks with my friends, Red Lobster as a birthday dinner, and some awesome flavored cake is done-zo.
But this is stupid little things that I know I'll get over and beyond all doubt get through. I have faith I can make it through the insanity.
I am worried about my relationship though. He didn't like the idea of the surgery in the beginning.... or even 2 years ago when I was first contemplating it. (Just a little background : my fiance is a chubby chaser, as were all of my exes). I'm afraid that no matter what he says, and though his fears were that I would be the one to leave him, that he will lose attraction once I start losing mass amounts of meat from my bones. With all that I have put aside for him, and the bs I've sucked up and dealt with, and all of the things I've looked past for him - I don't think he'll have that ability to just accept my weight loss. And I fear my ultra confidence and new vanity will give me that slight boost I was looking for to leave. \
I have read a few people say they see people get these surgeries for vanity reasons that they won't admit to. I was actually fine with living how I was and looking how I do. I enjoy my curves. I knew I only attracted guys with BBW fetishes. But I was all good. I was happy. I knew I could and did get guys. But then I had my beautiful little girl. For her, I want Mommy to be healthy, and able to run after her, and pick her up without back pain, and be around for decades to come without some sort of mortal complication. So it's not always vanity - but I know I will look damn amazing, even if not attracting the same guys. Which I'm fine with. As long as I can spend eternity with my pride and joy.

So I live in Japan, and it's a beautiful country but every time I step outside of my apartment All I see are beautiful and skinny Japanese girls. It does get depressing at times. But, on to my story.
I had to go to the lady clinic today, and after an hour and a half of waiting for a 5 second chat with the doctor for my refills, she says the nurse will need to check my blood pressure. Not so bad right?? Well that is actually the depressing part of my visits. My blood pressure is fine, but they always have to get the next size up on the arm thing to check my BP. And now that I write this I feel stupid for getting so upset over that but it's a little embarrassing to have this tiny size 0 Japanese girl attempt to take my bp only to try to shove my fat arm into the wrap and then have to go get a bigger size because it's too small.
I'm having my gastric sleeve surgery in December and I'm just ready to start my life over and not get so emotional when something small happens.
Sorry about the rant.

Thank you all for taking time to read my post and to care enough to write a reply. I will re-read these over and over in the near future because everyone of you had at least one pearl of wisdom that I am going to incorporate into my "new" life.
I was having a very down day yesterday (I am not sure why). I am, as of today, forcing myself to take a different outlook on life. Just because things have always been this way does not mean that they have to continue this way. It is up to me to stop just coasting through my life and take control.
I read all of these replies with tear filled eyes this morning. I don't think I realized how alone I have been. I am going to take baby steps to see what changes I can make and start re-engaging in my life again. I do know some changes have been made as I didn't stuff my face all day yesterday trying to numb my emotions. My husband even said something last night that hurt my feelings terribly (he said I took it wrong and it was meant to be funny) and I still did not turn to food. I told him that he hurt my feelings and several weeks ago I never would have admitted that to another living soul. I am learning some life lessons on this journey.
I did try to reply to each of you individually but something happened and I lost that post. I am somewhat computer illiterate. Everything is good as long as there are no problems lol.
I wish all of you the best that life has to offer and thank you from the bottom of my heart for your willingness to share so much of yourselves.
Thanks again,
Summer

I received this message today and have attached my response for all to see because this is certainly a major concern for many this time of year!

"I would love some words of wisdom to say to myself every time I walk past the Halloween candy at work.!"


That is NOT FOOD!! food is fuel. Would you put sugar in the gas-tank of your car?
Automobile gasoline usually comes in 87, 89 and 92 octane. If you could get 25 octane gas
would you put it in your car? Would it be good for your car? Would someone who cares
about his/her car put sub-standard fuel in it?
Care about your BODY at least as much as you care about your car. Fuel it well!

I'll be subscribing to this thread. Thank you for bringing this up. I am pre surgery but I have an interesting prospective. I have been feeling a bit like an imposter my entire process for getting qualified for surgery. This, WLS, is supposed to be the like the last house on the block. We were supposed to have tried and failed miserably at the weight loss thing and never had any long term success at losing weight, but this has not been my exact story.
In 2005, I lost 140# without surgery. I discovered that I have a sensitivity to gluten and sugar and I stopped eating junk food. I didn't exercise but the weight literally fell off my body. I was lighter than I had been my entire adult life. I went from 320# to180# in about 8 months probably averaging about the same clip as a bypass patient I'm imagining. I had some feelings of euphoria, but mostly I felt like a live electrical wire. My comfy fat, my safe place to hide from the world was suddenly gone and I felt as if I was practically electrocuted if I would even brush by furniture too hard. I had trouble sleeping with the new sensations of my knees, ankles and toes rubbing together aching for their familiar cushion and I felt horribly uncomfortable if anything including clothes touched my newly discovered clavicles. I cried at random and inconvenient intervals. I stayed at this low weight for a VERY short time and hovered comfortably at 200 for many many years.
I was never prepared for and have never heard ppl taking about how to just be and reside in a body, newly formed and considerably smaller. How do we really listen and hear and feel in a body with new sensations and dimensions? How do we become like the normies I call them, those people who never ever gain weight while we constantly were ballooning up and dieting down the scale?
What were/are we to do with our one life outside of food? I know I have the tendency to want the newer, sexier, more interesting route to any destination, like success with even WLS can't just be about plain old (following the prescribed) diet and exercise, can it? I'm still wondering if the surgery is just the newest thing for me. I switched my surgical consideration from sleeve to bypass for this very reason. Because if I'm going to do it, I need to go old school. With me it had to be vegan, raw, paleo and Crossfit. Zero to sixty. Never just walking, always training for the half.
What happens when the proverbial dust settles and it's not about the food anymore and the weight is lost? When the life I thought weight loss or this surgery would fix is still going forward unchanged? Sitting in this empty space with myself without support and resources or a clue is what made maintenance so elusive and probably so for most people who've lost massive amounts of weight with or without surgery and gained it back. Will having had a glimpse of being thin for a while make me a better bariatric patient, more compliant? Perhaps, or maybe not but at this stage in the game I can't take anything for granted but these are the questions that are clearer in hindsight and that I need to formulate a plan for now on this side of surgery.

I was on the boards for over a year pre-op, and inhaled all kinds of stories. I was (I believe) adequately prepared for how the VSG would be a tool, would offer a brief time (1 year) to build new skills, deal with surprising upsets about not being able to soothe myself with food. I also realized I needed to be in therapy, during my journey -- I call it my Year of Losing Weight, my Year of Maintaining my Weight, and Boring Real Life. That's my therapy commitment -- three years.
I'm old enough to know that life isn't an endless honeymoon. Boredom, habits and real life end all honeymoons. And then the marriage begins.
So I was well prepared.
I do see those who are starstruck and want to wake up 365 days later and find themselves Cinderella at the Ball being chased around the floor by The Prince. I see some who are, frankly, not smart enough to appreciate what they're doing to themselves and what it will mean. I seem some who thought they were ready, but find it so much harder to adapt than they'd dreamed. Some of those adapt. Some of them don't. I see some who can't be compliant because they're too food-addicted or simply unable to follow directions or those who can't let anyone be the boss of them or those who think they're too special to do it the boring way everyone else does.
I see the perfection puppies, the alcoholics, the ones whose lives are a train wreck with no space in it for self-protection, the wounded adult children, the smart ones who can fix everything but their weight. I see those with bad surgeons and inattentive care. I see those with no support at home or outright antagonism and hate disguised as nagging. People who are desperate enough to have weight loss surgery are not all in mental spaces or physical spaces that are safe enough for them to undergo WLS and its aftermath.
Of course, I see people who do well. A lot of them are older. They know it won't be perfect, but they're patient. They have seen tough times, and they aren't shocked by some tough things about WLS. They're a bit long-suffering and don't bitch about every new food that doesn't thrill their palate. They can tolerate temporary discomfort to get to the easier times two months out. In a word, they're just compliant -- or as compliant as they can be. They don't beat themselves up when they're not perfect and they are resilient enough to get back on the path without being a drama llama about it.
They don't start threads with titles like: "Oy vey ist mir!" or "Will I ever be happy again?" or "Please tell me this won't last forever." They already know they'll be happy again, that this won't last forever, and that ein bischen vey doesn't require a clickbait thread title.