mistybell

Thank you for this post! It found me when I needed to hear it most.

The decision to tell or not tell about your WLS is a big decision. Its worthy of careful consideration because of its implications for your personal and professional lives.
I am not a "teller." I don't care whether people tell or not.
More pertinent to the last half of this thread, it's really not my business to plow through and approve or disapprove of the complexities of WHY those who tell tell and WHY those who don't tell don't tell. I don't think their reasons or circumstances or personalities or values are translatable to my own.
BTW, the story about how some PCOS sufferers feel pressured to "be transparent" (code language for "don't lie") about having become pregnant through IVF suggests to me there is a bigger phenomenon here than applies only to WLS.
What it seems to boil down to is that it bothers some people that everyone doesn't think or decide like they do. Yeah, those folks are a pain.
But worse are the shit-stirrers in every community. They are seldom the most verbose people in a debate. They drop in like wasps and sting someone and then flit around chuckling. In my book those folks are the most destructive in any community. They take joy in pitting folks against each other. Once you recognize them, it makes life online easier. Protip: They're often quite sanctimonious.
We won't always agree. We don't have to. My decision for my reasons probably isn't one you should copy because you're not me.
Finally, if you're looking for agreement on the internet you won't find it on any message board, including Bariatric Pal. Sorry if you thought that was an option here.

Greetings all...
KindaFamiliar here...
I'm a teller and I've a few things I'd like to say...
Tellers are good...
Non-tellers are good..
Cats are bad...
cheese is great!!
Figs are bad...
"Showing your ass" is good...
Bedazzled ass is better...
Shaming people is bad...
Feeling ashamed is equally bad...
Being wrong is ok... (Apparently... I wouldn't know as it's yet to happen to me)
'Verbiage' is a great word...
'Disparages' is also a great word...
O'Doyle Rules!!
"Prayers going up" seems somewhat arrogant and is actually offensive to me...
I can only recite Pi to nine decimal places...
Did I mention "Cheese is great"?
Some of you really suck at using the 'Quote' feature...
Speaking of quotes, for some reason, I find the lack of punctuation between the end of the quote and the name of the person to whom the quote is attributed,at the end of each post by @ somewhat distressing...
I'm also pretty certain I misused a comma in the previous point...
2nd grade crushes are GOOD!!!
@@CHM is kinda cute and smrt and stuff...
'Smart' is intentionally misspelled above - It's a Simpsons reference!!!
It's dinner time...
pizza and Coke anyone?

Im telling everyone Im having surgery to transition. And i am, from unhealthy to healthy. Its not my fault if they automatically think Caitlin Jenner. Im telling you, nothing shuts them up like that!
abrezar la vida

When people stoop so slow as to call names, I consider the source and react accordingly.
Wait...you left one out!!!

Probably my strangest order so far was (Panera) half a Roasted Turkey and Avocado BLT with no bread, no mayo, no lettuce, no Tomato and no side. Just the Turkey, Bacon and Avocado on a plate, please.
I did order a (Taco Bell) steak soft taco fresco style with no lettuce, but I was too chicken to order it without the tortilla.

Probably my strangest order so far was (Panera) half a Roasted Turkey and Avocado BLT with no bread, no mayo, no lettuce, no Tomato and no side. Just the Turkey, Bacon and Avocado on a plate, please.
I did order a (Taco Bell) steak soft taco fresco style with no lettuce, but I was too chicken to order it without the tortilla.

Probably my strangest order so far was (Panera) half a Roasted Turkey and Avocado BLT with no bread, no mayo, no lettuce, no Tomato and no side. Just the Turkey, Bacon and Avocado on a plate, please.
I did order a (Taco Bell) steak soft taco fresco style with no lettuce, but I was too chicken to order it without the tortilla.

lol, thanks for that.
You're welcome.
I didn't take offense to what you originally posted, you offered some sound advice to people to help them create posts that will are easier to read and will potentially have more people read them due to how they are presented.
Some people may have interpreted this differently. That is the problem with reading a post vs. talking to someone and listening to their tone and watching their facial expressions.
That is why I used a "smiley face" emoticon to my previous response to you.
No one should be calling you names, there is another online forum that I no longer belong to. That is one of the reasons why I stopped posting there.

wow.
I hate typos too. I also have a kindle that I use to access BP. It is smarter than I am and if I do not pay attention it will insert a word that has no meaning or is incorrect for that context.
I hate CAPS for the entire post - I feel like I am being screamed at so I don't read them.
I am also smart enough that if it's too hard to read (no breaks, just long sentences). I just don't read it. Hate to say it but after coming here about a year I am more intolerant of the folks who don't look in the forums for a thread similar to their question.
"Can I eat pizza on day three post-op?"
"I haven't had a BM in ten days, should I call the doctor?"
"I didn't lose ten pounds this week, am I doing something wrong?"
«««««duh»»»»»

While I don't agree with some comments (specifically ones that refer to spelling and grammar mistakes) I don't think the intention of the original post was sarcastic. To me it's just pointing out the obvious - if you turn for people for help/ support/ information, pay a little attention to how you do it. You might want to make it easier for them.
Also, I don't think you need to be a native (I'm not) or educated to understand the difficulty of getting through someone else's stream of consciousness.

So you started the pot stirring with this:



And ended with this? You complained about drama and now you are sticking around to stir it intentionally for "a little fun"?

Nice.

Wait. Who's the bully? Name calling isn't very nice. I don't see where any of these "bullies", "3 stooges", or "cackling old women" threw out insults like you just did. I'd say for every finger you're pointing, four are pointing back at you.
(Is this where I send up prayers?)

My program considers 1/2 c of skim milk one serving of dairy and my aim is to have 2 servings of food per meal. So, my program would consider 1c of milk or 1/2 c milk and 1T Peanut Butter examples of meals. So, 1/4 c of skim milk wouldn't quite be considered a meal in my program. Hope this helps!

Ultimately you will have to make the decision that is best for you, but I can share with you what helped me make my decision. I have diabetes, high blood pressure and borderline high cholesterol. I decided that I'd gladly trade my Metformin, Lisinopril and Lipitor for Multivitamins, Calcium and B12. I had lost significant amounts of weight before having the surgery, but it required a tremendous amount of focus and effort. Any time I lost focus the weight would come flying back. I decided that I was unable to keep up the amount of effort that I needed to lose weight and maintain that weight loss. Now that I have had the surgery (not quite two months ago) I am convinced that I made the right decision and the surgery has given me the assistance that I needed to get to a healthy weight and maintain it. There is still some effort and focus required, but not the miserable amount that was needed previously. Good luck to you!

I FINALLY GOT APPROVED! !!!!!!!!! so much fight but it's finally happened!!!!!!!!!
Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using the BariatricPal App

I met with my nutritionist to advance to soft foods yesterday and she did clarify a few things about cereal and milk. She said that although it is on the list, it is not preferred because it does break the drinking while eating rule. She said I could try it if I wanted, but I may find that I get hungry sooner because it didn't stay in my stomach very long. If I find I get hungry, I should stay away from the cereal and milk.
I hope this helps!

@@CowgirlJane, you and your story, experience, and knowledge are absolutely relevant to me. The same goes for the other veteran's. Since it's all about me, that is all that matters!

It seems that at least 50% of the posts on BariatriPal are bemoaning a stall. Daily, and sometimes hourly, I am reading about how someone ONLY lost x number of pounds and now the scale hasn't moved in ___ [fill in the blank] days/months, etc. Oh no, they write, I am a failure/unique/my surgery didn't work/life is not fair, ... Why am I in a stall?
I know I am exaggerating but I think you get the idea.
Guess what? STALLS are a NORMAL part of the PROCESS of losing weight. If you want to lose weight, you will stall. Not just once, but over and over. And, guess what? A stall is where your body actually does the hard work of becoming smaller. It takes a lot of work and energy to dismantle a structure that has been holding up, in some cases, hundreds of pounds.
For those who think they have to DO something to somehow "break a stall" (in my opinion, you do not break a stall, you just ride them out), here is my response:
What can you do to "break" a stall?
1) STAY OFF THE SCALE
Relax and stay off the scale if it bothers you so much. Weigh no more than once a week, or even less often. Weighing only at your doctor's appointments early in the process is a good strategy if your mood and self-worth are dictated by the numbers on the scale.
2) PICK UP A TAPE MEASURE
In addition to using the numbers on the scale to measure your progress, take your measurements. Inches lost are also a great way to see physical progress when the scale isn't moving. Most people see the biggest physical changes in their body when the scale seems stuck.
3) TRACK YOUR Protein AND Water AND MEET OR EXCEED YOUR PROTEIN AND WATER GOAL EVERY DAY
As long as you are getting in all your protein and water and following your NUT and surgeon's instructions, you are doing what you are supposed to do.
If you aren't getting in all your protein and water, then increasing your protein and water is something you can do (and should be doing anyway whether or not you are in a stall).
4) EXERCISE
If you aren't exercising, then you can exercise (and should be whether or not you are in a stall). You can start slowly by walking or even moving more around the house. Exercising will help you feel better, tone your skin and build fat-burning muscle.
5) MAKE AN APPOINTMENT WITH YOUR NUT
If you are unsure or unclear about what you are supposed to be, or should not be eating, then make an appointment with your NUT (which you should be doing whether or not you are in a stall).
6) REASSESS AND REEVALUATE
About the only good result I see that comes from complaining about a stall is when you take an honest look at what you are doing and realign with the program recommended by your NUT and surgeon. Have you started eating more outside of your plan? Are you restricting calories? Are you eating enough carbs and protein for your exercise? Are you taking your Vitamins? Are you eating often enough? Are you eating slowly with protein first? Sometimes, all you need to DO is go back to basics.
7) JOURNAL
One of the biggest things I have noticed from the various posts is how anxious and out-of-control some people feel when they notice a stall. Journaling can help you gain some perspective and deal with some of the emotional turmoil.
-- Write about how you are feeling about the stall and your weight loss, and surgery in general.
-- Write about why you had the surgery in the first place.
-- Write about what life was like before surgery.
-- Write about what you hope and dream about accomplishing in the future.
-- Write about your fears.
-- Write about your NSVs.
-- Make a gratitude list.
-- Make a bucket list.
-- Write a letter to your old self; write a letter to your new self.
Just write.
8) SEEK HELP
Stalls are when too many people seem to revert to old, counterproductive dieting behaviors (restricting calories, over exercising, bingeing, etc.). If this is you, then another thing you can DO is to talk to a counselor or therapist or consider joining a bariatric support group or a twelve-step group like Overeater's Anonymous.
The discomfort of being in a stall can also drive people to develop new, unhealthy coping habits or even transfer addictions. This is where you want to marshall all the resources you have available to you and use them.
The last, and most important thing you can DO is:
9) EMBRACE THE STALL
Stalls are a normal and natural part of the process.
Our bodies are complex systems and not simple machines.
Stalls go hand-in-hand with weight loss.
If you had Weight Loss Surgery, then you probably want to lose a significant amount of weight. So, get ready to embrace the many stalls you will experience as your body is transformed. It will be worth it.

I had lost a lot of weight in the past (though gained it all back quickly & more) so I had to deal with a lot of very inappropriate comments about my weight loss and it always unsettled me. I hated my weight loss (and regain) always being the topic of the day wherever I went! So, this time, in doing the emotional prep work for this surgery, I've already come up with a response that I think will defuse some of the unsolicited & unwanted comments. If anyone goes beyond a nice simple, "wow, you look great". and starts in asking things like "how much has you lost?", or commenting on how fat I was before, etc, I will just smile sweetly and say "I am bored talking about my body, let's talk about yours now!" I figure that will stop things pretty fast. :-)

I'm at the very beginning of my process that requires a six month physician supervised weight management program with weekly meetings. I chose to be open with my boss because I'm lucky enough to have a very understanding manager who is willing to work with me. One of the advantages to having been open is that I was able to schedule the weekly weight management program meetings over an extended lunch on Mondays and not have to attend the evening meeting which is much more convenient for me and my family.