Bronxmerci

@dc you look hot! @@Amy Thanks, today was a slow day I got up late and walked to my moms house about 2 miles away. I know I have to try harder to feel better. The last 2 weeks I've slacked on getting my Protein and Vitamins in and even liquid. I'm hoping I get back into the zone. I'm just glad my back pain is 80 percent gone, I feel human again.

I made an effort today. These are pics from a few minutes ago

Aww thanks ladies! Yeah I still have a gallbladder, I'm just so scared to go back to er I'm really tired of being there. My lil one has been with me on and off, my mom took him for 6 days because I couldn't get up from bed and when I did get up it was literally crawling to get him stuff. The last 4 days he's been here and so has his dad ugh yuck. I think I'm losing too fast too but I know its because of me not eating. I did go get blood work with my pcp around xmas and everything was good except my anemia and everything that has to do with hematology. I feel better today but I just don't feel any hunger or desire to do anything with my life. I also think I'm dealing with depression due to everything that has happened, its like I just sleep all day and I have moments that I'm crying reflecting on my life mistakes. This is tmi but I've been so down that I haven't even showered in like 10 days, the pain won't allow me to stand in the shower and call me nasty but I haven't even tried to wash myself, all I do is crawl to the kitchen fill up a water bottle, cry and then sleep. I'm a mess, I can't wait to feel better.

Hey loves, so for the past 10 days I've been dealing with severe back pain but refused to go to er. I didn't eat or move out of bed for 8 days and then pushed myself the following 2 days. I am 12 weeks post op and 81lbs down. I thought I'd feel better with losing weight but now my back hurts way more than it did before, maybe its the way I stand or walk idk. I feel a little better today although I can't stand up straight or stand for long periods of times. I feel very dehydrated because I haven't been taking Vitamin or eating or drinking how I should be. My mom said I look like a stick, I definitely see myself wasting away. I am 5'11 and started at 301 now I'm 220. I think I'm going to have to reconsider my goal of 150 because I already look a bit thin. Anyone else dealing with weird pains? I sure hope this goes away.

okay so its good that im not the only one lol. i definitely see a breast lift in my future, because while they aren't so bad yet if this is only 9 weeks out i can't stomach what they will look like in the following months.

my boobs are becoming flapjacks.

they can't understand something they aren't going through. to them it seems like the easy way out because they don't know that we have to just up and change our eating habits and forcibly eat healthier and less. they think we can still eat all the bad stuff and lose weight like nothing. i for one, thought this surgery would be easier than it actually was. i had many complications and simply can't tolerate any food. i am 9 weeks out and live off of Protein Shakes which make me sick too. at the end of the day we know that this wasn't the easy way out, i believe it is harder. after going through all my complications i was wishing i could go back and eat healthier and control my portions, i just didn't have the knowledge i have today back then.

@@Getting-used-to-new-me what gets me mad is that I was hospitalized the first time for a bloodclot, then the second time for bleeding because of the medicine for the bloodclot, and the second time they did an endoscopy and didn't find anything. A few days after being discharged I continue to poop black, and that night when I left my poop was bright red. So the 3rd time there, they are saying that they don't know how it wasn't detected and that they just don't get it. I'm like well if you don't know, I definitely don't know. That's what led me to sign myself out, I felt like we were all idiots lol. I was their test dummy for like 1.5 weeks. I'm not going back unless I have no choice, such as being unconscious and being taken by someone else. I'm ready to own this and deal with whatever. I'm glad you feel better, I hope I do too. This has left me severely anemic so I really look like my wall, very pale and with no energy. I also hope I don't get another menstrual because its that time and I know it will probably knock me out.

@@amylynns thank you! I hope he snaps out of it, because its just breaking my heart that he doesn't even want to give me a hug. While at the hospital I barely ate I was just so uninterested. They were tube feeding for 5 days because I really refused to eat, I'm guessing it has to do with my depression. I never got hungry and I just slept all day and cried at night and let me tell you I never cry but I just had no choice but to. Now that I'm home I made myself a concotion Protein Drink, I'm not hungry now either. I plan to just drink 2 Protein concs and maybe an oz of cheese until I feel like eating. I know that I have to try since I'm not hooked up to an iv anymore and I can get sick from not eating and drinking. I'm super happy about the job but I just hope I have the energy to perform. I'm glad I don't start until late january so maybe I'll be a new person by then.

Hey ladies, I'm sorry I had you guys worried. I promise I won't die on you guys. I just signed myself out of the hospital they wanted me to live there and it was just too many days for me. I had an upper gi hemmorhage, got a ton of blood transfusion, now I have to get special Iron injections weekly. On the bright side I finally got a job as a teachers assistant so even though I was bummed out, I got the job I wanted. I feel better knock on wood, still tired and out of breath but I know its because of the blood loss. My son doesn't even like me anymore due to these complications. I definitely feel depressed and I'm hoping I can get help for it. My family has been practically raising my son since surgery and I feel very grateful for that. I am not allowed to work out because I don't have much oxygen in my blood. Shoot I don't have enough energy at all, I had to leave school and basically that's it. I love you all and thank you for your prayers, at one point I was really thinking that this was it and thought I was going to die, I couldn't even roll over without being out of breath and having chest pain. The doctors really advised me that I needed to stay but I made an executive decision to bounce. Now I just have to pray for the best and be prepared for the worst. You ladies look great by the way and sorry I didn't update sooner, I left without a phone charger and noone thought to bring me one. Thank you for your support.

I just went to the bathroom and had bright red blood in my number 2 and there was more blood than anything in the toilet, I don't want to go back idk what to do. What do you guys think? I'm so scared and sad. It was so scary like a period and I even checked to see if I had my period and nope it came from the rear, there was a lot of blood on the toilet paper too. Is bright red blood a cause for concern? I really don't want to go back :'(. I called my doctors hotline to see if they will tell me its okay.

thanks ladies! @@Beni the doctor told me to go play the lotto lmao. the hematologists said the risk of bleeding out outweighs the risk of my clot not dissolving and they said no more blood thinners for me. they actually said it should dissolve faster now that my blood count is low. i just went for a walk to the post office to get my measuring bowl that i bought, i wasnt really measuring food now i am going to start. its funny i thought i was eating 2oz of cheese and after measuring it was only 1.5 lol. and i measured some salad and a lot of lettuce is like 1oz lol. beni, im on the same boat with you eating 2oz of food, it didnt concern my surgeon. i supplement with GENEPRO and a water/juice concoction. they also want me to get 90 grams of Protein now instead of 70, blah looks like 2 concoctions and 30 grams towards food throughout the day to make it.

@@freelyme thank you, you made me feel good! yeah i guess we are hard on ourselves lol.

@@freelyme they weren't closely monitoring me with the coumadin and i had like 3.5 periods that made me lose too much blood. so they completely stopped the coumadin even though i stopped taking it on my own before they told me to. they did an endoscopy yesterday and my insides looked normal, they said my black stools was from old blood. they mentioned that its weird that the coumadin did this to me because other females take it and dont bleed out but for that now i have to follow up with a gyn, hema/sickle cell, and gi doctor. they mentioned i should get an iud, something is telling me not to do it, i dont want any more procedures done on me.

this is the picture i wanted to share before. one from 2 days ago in stripes, one from a few days before surgery in pink. i can see the difference now but since im tall it doesnt look like the weight i have lost would look on a shorter person.

Hey my loves! I just got discharged woo hoo! My blood count is 7 now, they want it at 12 but geez let me tell you I can feel the difference. In total I received 5 units of blood which made a world of a difference. I'm no longer out of breath and I feel a burst of energy! Let me not gynx myself lol. Thank you for your well wishes and prayers! It sure worked. Now I can maybe redeem myself at school with all these doctors notes, I've been doing so bad because I couldn't even get up from bed. I missed thanksgiving but I did get a bite of turkey and pernil in ! I just signed my son and I up for mommy and me swimming classes in hopes that I will feel this good for the next coming weeks. I hope you ladies and gents are doing good! I love you :-*

Its crazy I was a healthy big girl now I developed all these issues trying to get to a healthy weight. Lmfao!

Phone won't let me. Oh well next time. Happy thanksgiving to everyone! I don't have any clots, I could of guessed that with all the bleeding. My 4th blood transfusion is responding, my level is at 7 now anything over 10 is okay but they want it at 12. Remember I told yall I was having black stools, well its blood like beni said. I seem to be having internal upper gi bleeding. Honestly there are doctors from all these different departments with different opinions and everyone thinks its one thing or the other. They think I am bleeding from my upper gi, they think something is wrong with my vaj cuz I had 3.5 periods in a month, they think there's a stricture, they think so much and I'm just like whatever man lol. I have to wait until friday for the upper gi exam. I am back on full Clear Liquids at 6 weeks out and honestly its okay because I hate food now. I really wanted to share this photo with you guys I look like crap in the face but my body is banging lol. I was 301 on my surgery date, and today I'm 247. The surgery works but damn it. came with some surprises.

So I'm trying to attach a pic but

Thanks for the prayers and love guys, I'm on my 3rd blood bag, my levels are the same after the first 2. I am definitely spending thanksgiving here, they are going to do a ct scan, a sonogram on my legs, and upper gi, and xray. I guess they will check for everything. I'm still out of breath, like I really feel 600lbs. I have been thinking in a more positive way. I know I felt better when I was heavier but this is just the cards I got dealt. I'm wondering what's next.

I got escorted right from my post op appointment. The surgeon doesn't kno how I was even walking. My levels are 3 and should be a 12. Blah I guess its not a bloodclot since I'm almost out of blood…

Getting a blood transfusion and being kept. I knew something was off.

Soo I'm being sent back to er now, my heart rate is 150 and I have a high bp now too, they think I might have another clot, this is getting real old ugh. Right before thanksgiving lol, so much for a happy ending. I hope they don't keep me.

I had Cereal yesterday, and i finally broke my stall and lost 2lbs, i think my body was going into starvation mode. i was eating like 300 calories a day if that. i upped my calories by eating cheese and little bites of random things like chicken, dry cereal, and Beans lol. maybe i have tricked my body out of the starvation mode. i have noticed that every time i eat something i get nauseous and have to sleep. im getting usto it and still eat then i feel terrible and do it again, im going to ask for nausea medicine later on today when i see my surgeon. also i cant function, i am always dizzy and my heart is always racing even if im walking slow. when i get up i have to hold on to something or i will pass out and i have black vision several times a day, i feel like something is not right. i am getting my Protein and Water in so idk whats up with these issues im developing. another thing, i am 10lbs from pre baby weight and it doesnt look the same. i was hoping id look as good as before once i dropped some weight but it looks like my body just changed over all, blah i wish i could go to the gym but i cant do anything without being out of breath and on the verge of fainting. im so tired of everything, and my mom has been staying over and my sons father to help with my baby and i should be grateful but i really am tired of having them around, i just want to be normal again and have my lil guy all to myself.

congrats, i really hope you have a smooth pregnancy. I can't imagine how hard it might be but it will definitely be worth it. im sending prayers your way for a healthy baby and a healthy you. i just have one question, did your doctor offer you or you know encourage you to get some type of birth control, like an iud, condoms or anything? mine brought it up but i'm not having sex so i changed the topic fast but one of the girls who i kept in contact with said he made her sign a consent to be on birth control since she was actively having sex because of the risks and he also mentioned how easy it would be to get pregnant after the surgery.