Trace Lynne

A couple weeks ago, I posted a blog entry about the changes in my abilities, since I started working with my trainer a year ago: "I may not be there yet, but I am closer than I was yesterday". In this write up, I posted a video of me deadlifting 135 lbs, to commemorate about how much weight I had lost at that point (about 130-ish pounds). The amazing realization I had during this session was just how much more power and endurance I have. In addition to the weightlifting, I was able to do a full pull-up (with the assistance of bands), and blew away my stats on my original assessment (4 times faster than I was the year prior). This really was a renewal to my commitment to get down to my goal range. My doctor told me I should aim for 150-170 lbs. I'm within 70-90 lbs of that goal. I had been slacking off a bit. Sure, I was exercising, but not enough to really help me to lose much weight. My goal for my 1 year follow-up with my surgeon (which is in a couple weeks), is to be under 200 lbs. I'm still 40 lbs off from that. .... But, rather than bumming on my lack of progress, I've put together a redemption plan. My body needs more intense exercise than what I'm giving it, so, starting this week, I will be back at the gym with my trainer 3-4 days a week. I am going to be practicing with the local roller derby team. I will start out skating 1 day a week, but once I'm comfortable on my skates again (per their criteria), I will be skating 3 days a week with the team. In the meantime, I'll try to get to the open skate at the rink as often as I can fit into my schedule I've registered to play as a substitute for a local soccer league I will continue walking/biking with my dog as weather permits. I have a goal to be back on track by the 1.5 year follow-up with the doctor. If I target the 12 lbs/month goal that my trainer wants me to focus on, I should reach my goal in 7.5 months. We'll see how it goes. I still have shorter-term goals that I am working towards: Getting down to 220 lbs, so that I can jump out of an airplane Snowboarding once winter hits Getting on the roller derby team (not just practicing with them) Completing a Warrior Dash Hiking the San Pedro Volcano in Guatemala (plan on doing over the winter holidays) The things that I accomplished this summer: Taking dancing lessons Played soccer for the first time in a decade Went on all of the roller coasters at Cedar Point, including the ones I couldn't ride the last time I was there in 2007 Established a 5k walking route at work that I do on my lunch hour Biked through most of the local rivertrail with my dog. The furthest I have traveled with him is 12 miles. The furthest I have biked on my own is about 18 miles. Went to a water park that had a surf/wave machine, and actually rode the waves (on the body board). I flew off the surfboard pretty quickly, decided I need to work on that one more. Went to derby practice, and skated for 2 hours. Last summer when I tried to skate, I went around that rink three times and it was too much for me. I was holding onto the wall, and completely unbalanced.

Ok, 9 months has passed since my 35th birthday, 6 months has passed since my surgery, and I'm keeping a pretty decent pace on losing weight. I really had hoped I could keep myself motivated enough to lose 200 lbs from birthday to birthday, but that required losing 50 lbs every three months. I am averaging 40 lbs every three months... which isn't bad at all. Yes, I'm still trying to wrap my head around the idea that I have lost 120 lbs since May 2014... So, if I continue my average of 40 lbs every three months, I will hit my goal in time for my 1-year anniversary of surgery, which is pretty frickin' cool! Then, I can start talking about getting skin removed... its already really starting to annoy me... I've been trying to build up enough leave time at work that I can have the surgery in time for the winter holidays... then I would need 6 days fewer of leave time. Another goal I will accomplish in the next three months is that I will graduate with my masters degree. I was going to finish my coursework last fall, however, with the surgery right before the beginning of the fall semester, I decided not to push my luck and postponed my course until this semester. Now it is time to set new goals and keep looking into the next few years... where do I want to be with my career? What do I want from the next 3 years? Next 5 years? and so on... what is possible now that I've lost a bunch of weight and have the confidence that I never thought was possible before? Time to take a good look at my current life and see what changes I want to make and get the ball rolling. Especially since the family issues that brought me back to this "safe place" are now resolved and I no longer NEED to stick so closely to my family. I mean, had I not returned home to help my family out 2 years ago, I would not have decided to have surgery or to reapply to grad school to finish the last of my coursework. I have a whole new perspective on my life and the world around me... I want to make the most of this situation.

I had some time to kill while I was waiting for my prescription to be filled by the pharmacy at the local superstore. I decided to try on jackets in the women's clothing section. They only have clothing that typically goes up to 2X. I tried on the different sizes, 2X, 1X, and XL for each jacket. This was prompted by a discussion earlier this week that all of my 3X coats being too big on me. In general here's what I found: 2X jackets - all fit me well, some were a little big 1X jackets - all fit me and I could close them, but there were a bit snug XL jackets - I could get them all on, which was kind of surprising. My upper arms were a little too big for the jackets made on non-stretchy material to get them on all of the way. I have a good 4-6 inches to lose around the gut before I can close them. As I was trying these different jacket on, I kept thinking, in a few months, I hope be able to do this with the Medium, Large, and X-Large clothing. Back when I weighed 180 lbs, I was wearing X-Large t-shirts only because I wanted it to be baggy and hide my chest. I was huge for a teenage girl, and I didn't want to give the guys in school any more of a reason to feel me up as they passed me in the hallway at school.

Congratulations on the progress you are making, both in health and in life. It is a great feeling to be in control of our lives again, isn't it? My trainer tells me that I need to change things up once I start to stall. Good luck.

I did it! When I weighed in on 12/16/14, I crossed the line from 98 lbs to 101 lbs lost! It was only three pounds, however, those three pounds pushed me into the 3-digit realm of weight loss. I was so excited. Now I'm down about 105 lbs. It is just crazy to say it, and I've been telling EVERYONE! People I know, people I don't know... EVERYONE... I'm just so excited about hitting this milestone. As a result of this milestone, I decided to treat myself to a couple new clothes. I walked into Lane Bryant after work that Friday after the weigh-in (yeah, I had to wait until payday)... and said, so, I've lost some weight, and I have no idea what size clothing I am. It was actually FUN trying on clothes for 1.5 hours. To put it in perspective, the shirt I was wearing was a baggy 3x shirt and the pants were a size 22 jeans that I had picked up from good will the beginning of October. The size 22 jeans were so big that I could pull them on and off without undoing the button or zipper. By the end of this trip, I walked out with size 18 trouser jeans, a couple size 14/16 shirts, and a couple 18/20 blouses for work. The idea that I am wearing size 16 or 18 clothing again is mind-blowing. I'm quickly coming to the bottom of the Lane Bryant size ranges, meaning I can start shopping in regular clothing stores again. However, I suspect the next down-sizing I do will be back at good will. I really shouldn't continue purchasing brand new clothing that I can only wear for a couple months. Of course, I may need to go through my clothing again soon. Its been 2 weeks since that shopping trip, and I've lost enough weight that some things are fitting awkwardly. After going through 3-4 outfits the other day, I kind of missed the thing I was trying to dress for. I decided, instead, to tend to my closet. I pulled out all of the clothing I purchased at last year's end-of-year clearance from lane bryant, and found that nothing fits me, at all. Some of the stuff still has its tags, even. So, I started going through older clothing, which all ended up in that pile too. I have a huge stack of clothing to hand off to goodwill the next time I go in. I only have 2-3 pair of dress slacks to wear to work and some blouses (old and new). I would much rather have this problem than going the other way, but some days it isn't as easy as others to wrap my head around this. I'm down over 100 lbs, which is unbelievable to me. If its this amazing at 100 lbs, what will it be like when I attain my goal and have lost over 200 lbs????? I can't even fathom that. Of course, having lost over 100 lbs, I am noticing extra skin, which I have no idea how to handle, other than wearing compression clothes and/or always making sure I have a second layer of clothing other to help mitigate the jiggle. There is no way of knowing how bad the skin will be until I get to that bridge. I've started watching Vlogs for people who have lost a bit of weight and are going through the skin removal process. I'm a little nervous about that part... but I know it will probably be a year before I'm there. Some posts I've seen say that women should target body fat % of 17-20 before even considering skin removal surgery. Seeing as I'm still at body fat of 47%, it will be a while. For the record, I'm ready to be at that point, I'm so ready to be past this current phase/stage of the journey... however, I was never given a FF button, so, I have to live through the next 6-12 months while I continue losing weight. It is kind of fun to think that soon I will be approaching the same size as my younger sister, who has always been much smaller than me. While she was in high school, she swam and did equestrian, and wore a size 4. She is currently wearing size 12-14 clothing. Anyone else working to wrap their head around their new/ever changing body? I would love to hear from others about this.

I am sorry to hear that your mom is working to help sabotage your progress. It definitely is not easy to do, and having someone who is trying to hold you back like that must be really discouraging. I'm here, anytime you need to chat.

Progress or lack thereof: I'm tired and have been under a lot of stress lately between work and family... I suspect that this has contributed to the slowing of my weight-loss progress... so, today, I came across this article and I just got so annoyed, and its totally irrational, I know. But I'm still annoyed. http://www.pressroomvip.com/shocking-celebrity-weight-loss/ This is a slide show of celebs before/after pics of losing weight. I know I'm impatient... I know that this is a process to work through... It is so annoying to see these things, though... the annoying part, they are dropping 40, 50, 60, 80, 100 lbs... and many of them look great... I've dropped over 90 lbs... and I still have SO MUCH FURTHER TO GO... I know, its only been 6 months... and over 90 lbs in 6 months is pretty fantastic... in fact... its better than what I have ever accomplished... I wish I could get to the point where people stopped looking at me like a fat girl... I still see it in how people respond to me... Of course, I don't know if that will ever happen... I don't know if I will ever NOT be the fat girl. As I find my new body over the next year, I feel like going through this process will be a little hell-on-earth. My perceptions and where I'm going will continue to not match up with how others see me or how I am perceived. Does anyone else struggle with stupid things like this? Trying to keep up: Last week, I think I overdid it a little. I went on a day-trip to Chicago with a group of friends and walked around the city all day. At the end of the day, my pedometer said I went some 7.5 miles. Of course, I was wearing nicer dress shoes and not walking shoes. My muscles hurt in my legs and lower abs for the next two days. It was difficult to get comfortable. All's I wanted to do was drink and eat, not that I could eat much... Last night, I participated in a walking group at a nearby mall... we walked almost 5 miles and by the time we finished, I was dizzy and light headed. When I hit 5 miles in a day, its not typically all at once. I was really annoyed that I had to sit down to steady myself for a bit. I wasn't out of breath, just dizzy. I know I'm pushing myself, but it helps be bring down my stress levels, which are up due to work... also, I am trying to change things up so that I can avoid stagnating over the holidays. Confidence, on a positive note: I do have to admit, that as my size is shrinking, my confidence is increasing, especially at work. It has been noticed and commented on by my supervisor and co-workers. I still hesitate or stay quiet in group/social situations, but I'm taking the bull by the horns with my project at work... and I'm feeling grounded enough that I've dusted off my application for my PhD program, which is related to my current job/project... and I will be submitting it in the next month. My 2nd 5K Race post-op: On Thanksgiving, I participated in the local 5k Turkey Trot, and I was blown away on how well I did. My 5k walk time for the Turkey Trot was 56:41.5...That is about 15 mins less than the 1:11:15 time I got for the 5k in September! My average pace was about 18 mins...Back when I started tracking my walks over the summer, my first mile walk was just under 30 mins. I'm close to cutting that initial time in half! Oh, and I didn't come in dead last this time. I was number 3607 of 3745. I still want to lose another 25-30 lbs before I start jogging, because I don't want to put too much pressure on my knees, but with the new year, my goal is to complete 1-5k race each month and want to be jogging/running them by summer. Dusting off the snowboard: I've been talking about it all fall. My goal is get out on the slopes again this winter and really learn to snowboard. I've been working for the last 6 months get myself ready. I've pulled out all of my gear, which fits me all again! The pants are a little snug, but yeah, I'll get over that. I was going to go out over thanksgiving, but had a family emergency pop up that messed up those plans. I'm ready to head over to a ski area this weekend. I'd go on Saturday, but have a birthday party to attend in the afternoon and my niece and nephew to watch in the evening. It will have to wait until Sunday.

Thank you!

The first image was taken on my birthday in May which is when I committed to a year of better health, the second image was taken yesterday. Its been 5 months, and I've lost 80lbs. I've now lost more post-surgery than I lost during pre-surgery. I am so amazed at the difference that I had to share it. I posted it on my FB page for the whole world (well, at least my world of friends) to see... and the feedback has been astounding. I'm proud of my ability to see this commitment through. The last time I started working with the weight management center, I lasted 3 months... which is not even half the time I needed at that point to qualify for surgery. I am still working with my personal trainer and going to Zumba classes most other days of the week. The only days I don't have activities scheduled are Fridays and Sundays, but I use those days to go out and do things with friends and family (like 5k walks or hiking)... Food-wise, I've mixed it up a bit. I still have the protein shake in the morning and a protein bar as an afternoon snack, then I eat cottage cheese for morning snack and soup or chili for lunch and try to make something different each evening. The day-time eating usually goes pretty well, but that is predictable and I know I can eat it. Its the food that I make at night that isn't so successful. For meats, I can eat chicken and turkey. I can finally stomach an egg. None of the other meats I've tried seem to work. I have a friend who suggested I try to go gluten-free, since its hit-or-miss as to what makes me sick. Has anyone else experienced these limitations 2 months post-op? I'm hoping that my 6-month update that I put out to everyone will be 100 lbs lost. That would be so exciting. It would be almost halfway on my current journey.

I am a goal-driven individual, it seems to be the best way to keep me on task. As part of this process, it was suggested that I should establish short-, mid-, and long-term goals to keep me going in this process. Despite being larger as a teenager, I was always strong and athletic. I would spend hours outside chopping wood, moving hay, or other manual things during my summer vacations. I biked from county-line to county-line just to say I did. One of my short-term goals was to get back out on the slopes this winter. Its been several years since the last time I went out. Since before my knee surgery in February 2009. That year I had planned on spending new years out on the slopes, but instead, I spent that New Year's Day at the hospital getting an MRI scan on my knee. Yeah, not cool. I have since healed from the knee thing, but I put on a lot of weight, and was really nervous about getting back out on the slopes. I often wonder how I allowed this to happen to me, but I shouldn't dwell on it. As I read recently, you can't move forward in life if you keep re-reading the last chapter. My goal that is keeping my motivated and going at this time, over the holidays, I'm going north and I'm going to get on my snowboard for the first time in half a decade. The poor thing has been calling to me for the last several winters. This winter, I'm going to try to go as often as I can. Of course, I'm planning on working with an instructor early on in the season, to help me get my footing and balance back. In the meantime, my personal trainer is working with me on my balance, agility, and strength. Its SO exciting. Last night's workout was so inspiring. He was impressed with how strong I'm getting. I blew through all of his exercises without faltering. He said he'll continue to work on making it tougher to push me, but doesn't want to push me so far to injure me. To help keep me focused, I decided to bring out my snowboarding pants and hang them where I will see them every morning when I get ready for work. It has been a long 4.5 months, but I've come so far. The first time I tried to put them on, I couldn't even get them past my thighs. As of last night, they come all of the way up, but I still have about 6 inches to lose around the belly before they will fit comfortably. I can do it. I've come this far, I'm not going to stop now. I'm counting down until I can hit the slopes again... 65 days and counting... I think I want to target losing about 25-30lbs, just so I know that the pants will fit better. Compared to where I was just 4.5 months (and 75 lbs) ago, I am sooooo close! Once I accomplish that, I can set my sights on my next set of goals... Running the Warrior Dash in July, and taking the nieces and nephews to Cedar Point to ride the roller coasters! Of course, with 8-10 eligible nieces and nephew (ie, old enough and big enough to ride the big coasters), I'll need to enlist the help of at least 1 other person to caravan down... but I think it would be fun if the siblings would join me.

Over the weekend, I went to my grandmother's 90th birthday party, and this was the first time that many of my family members have seen me since I started this whole process back in May. Some of the comments I received confused me. Ok, so yes, I've lost 75 lbs, with a starting weight of 367 lbs. I still have about 150 lbs to go to get to my goal, that is another person's worth of weight I have to lose. To me, 75 lbs is only 1/3rd of the way to my goal. And there is so much more I have to lose. The comments I received over the weekend just baffled me. I mean, sure, 75 lbs is significant, but people said thing to the effect of: Wow, now are you half the woman you used to be?! Yeah, I'm not at the half-way point. It was also stated that someone mistook me for my younger (and littler) sister at first glance from afar. Oh, that is too funny. I'm sure she would appreciate that sentiment. My dad's cousin came over to tell me that my dad has been talking about how I've been whittling away down to nothing. Sigh... that is so not true, but yes, I am getting smaller and, more importantly, healthier and stronger. Sometime about mid-way through this event, I started to wonder if I LOOK like I've lost more weight than I actually have. I mean, that is totally feasible. I looked at my numbers today. At 367 lbs, I was at 63% body fat, and now at 292 lbs, my body fat is 48%. If you do the math, that is 91 lbs of body fat lost, plus 16 lbs of muscle gained. So, yes, I look look I've lost a bit more weight. I decided I needed to try to quantify that and found this image (attached) to compare the difference. It shows the difference between 5 lbs of fat vs 5 lbs of muscle. I have lost about 18 of those fat blobs, and gained about 3 of those muscle chunks. Mind = blown So, that's what people are seeing... now I get it... I can't wait until that number is even higher...

I know we are told in our educational sessions that surgery isn't magic, allowing for the change to happen overnight. However, I hoped it would be easier to keep a steady loss. I'm going to 3-4 Zumba classes a week, plus seeing my personal trainer twice a week. If I slack off any, I won't lose any weight. This is what I think happened in the past few weeks, where I was sore, sick, or too tired to keep to the routine, and my body just didn't respond. Not to mention, I've been struggling to get enough protein and calories in on a daily basis. My doc wants me at 1,000 calories a day, and I'm getting close, but not quite hitting that number. I stepped on the scale yesterday, and it informed me that I hit 292 lbs. Amazing! The last few weeks have been slow to lose weight. I spent almost 2 weeks bouncing around a single pound. Ugh! After almost 2 weeks stuck on the same number, I stepped on the scale this morning, there it was 292 lbs! In my morning not-so-awake-ness, it took me a minute to do the calculation, but that is a total of SEVENTY-FIVE pounds I've lost since this past spring!!!!!! I'm so excited. I'm 25 lbs away from hitting 100 lbs lost... I'm less than 10 lbs from the goal the surgeon set for me to lose by my next visit, on December 1st. I told my trainer that I want to aim to lose 100 lbs by the next time I see my surgeon. I have 7 weeks to shed these 25 lbs, so, that's only 3-4 lbs each week, and seems completely doable, if I'm not completely stagnant. If I hit that goal, that means I will have lost 100 lbs in the first 6 months. CRAZY! Fun story, I had to go shopping for new dress pants this past weekend. I had no choice in the matter. I owned 6 pair of dress pants, 4 pair are now so big that they fall down while I walk. 1 pair fits well, and the last pair doesn't fit quite yet. (Its a size 20 that I picked up on clearance back when I still wore size 20 pants and I liked them so much that I couldn't convince myself to part with them when I got rid of everything else.). After my Zumba class on Saturday, I raided the local goodwill, which had quite a few pair of pants in the larger sizes. I didn't know what size to try, so, I grabbed women's 26, 24, and 22 pants. I was so excited to find out that the size 22 fits! Its a little snug on the waist, but fits the backside, hips, and legs just fine. I picked up 5 pair of dress pants for work and a pair of jeans. I haven't owned jeans in quite a while. This all cost me about $26. I love goodwill! I can't wait until I can get into the smaller clothing sizes, with the better selection.

I stepped on the scale yesterday, and I'm down to 309! I can't believe it... I'm 10 lbs away from being back in the 200s... I'm almost back to my post-knee surgery weight from 2009. But what was even cooler? I dragged myself into the 9am Zumba class, and I found myself actually bouncing with some of the songs. There literally was more bounce in my step. It didn't hurt my knee quite as much to jump and bounce. I can only imagine how I'll be flying through the songs once I get closer to my goal!