OK September 8th also!!! Yae only 12 days to go. We are doing this!!! I find out next week what time my surgery is and I will start packing for surgery soon. I will have to stay overnight in the surgery center because of my sleep apnea! I have lots of friends supporting me, but you can never have to much support. I am so excited about this that I am telling everyone I know. Originally I thought I would try to keep it a secret, but Im like a child befor Christmas and I cant keep it a secret!!!
I know there are several of us on the same day, so I thought I would start a thread for us to keep in touch as we go through the process.
I'm having surgery in Dallas. On day 2 of preop diet. So far, so good. No issues to report.
Check in here if you are scheduled for 9/8! :)
As most of you know, the love of my life passed away at the age of 48 on June 8. He was really my world but I know I have to move on. I'm up 23 pounds since his diagnosis and death in the past 6 months. The last 10 pounds came on quick. I've actually put off my blood work for 6 months and am having this done on Wed. I do not have a thyroid so if my levels are off it could cause some of the gain. I honestly do not eat. I know that is part of the problem. I don't eat food much and when I do I get nauseous. I drink lattes and frappes and eat fudge sickles and just sugar liquid that just goes right on down and gives me the a good feeling of comfort for awhile. Caffeine and sugar. Sugar the devil! I'm so disappointed in myself. I know that my husband wouldn't want me to do this. I try every day to do better but to no avail. I've tried sugar free crap. I hate it. Unfortunately, the sugar is my comfort and my demise. I am 2 years and 2 months out and I kept off my weight until his diagnosis in January. I know that people say that a 20 lb weight gain is pretty normal this far out but I never made it to goal. I feel so fat and terrible. I can't wear my size 10 or 12's and now its back to a 14/16. I just hate it. Lord, I need help.
I'm attaching a poem I wrote called "Heaven On A Sunday". This is exactly how the last day of my husbands life really was. I know I'm traumatized because taking care of him for the last 6 months and losing him is just so much to handle. Seeing cancer eat up the person you love so very much. Seeing him go from 48 to looking 90 is beyond what I can comprehend. I miss him very much. Thanks for reading and I appreciate all of you.
Heaven On A Sunday
You left me on a Sunday.
My life will never be the same.
Such a day of suffering for you and me;
But yours was so much more to be.
You tried to talk but could not.
Still things you and I needed to say.
You tried to grab my hand to say good bye,
But you had no strength left inside.
You turned to look at me with those once beautiful eyes.
Now showing stress of your long journey of this terrible thing inside.
You seem to say to me everything would be okay.
You were on your way to Heaven on this Sunday.
As I watched your breath so labored and hard,
Your chest rises and falls.
My heart breaks into pieces to never be whole again.
I see the pain you have endured and the scars on your body of a battle you fought so very hard.
Tears rolled down my cheeks for the last time your name I call.
I kiss your lips and tell you to go with our Savior.
I watch you with my heart overflowing with love,
As life leaves your face and you look at me for the very last time.
I know you have gone above.
Your body relaxes and my heart is crushed.
I know my life will never be the same.
God took you home at seven on a Sunday.
I can’t seem to get away from the pain.
I live with the pain of losing you everyday.
I relive each and every heartbreaking moment of that Sunday.
I pray for strength, Grace, and Mercy.
God please take my pain away.
I pray the pain will lessen and my heart won’t break as much next Sunday as today.
God took you home on a Sunday.
I miss you more than I can say.
If I had a choice of what day our Lord would come for me,
I have to say, I would choose to go to Heaven on a Sunday.
Just like the Lord took you that day.
Written by Lisa Beckermann for her Love Barry Bear.
I have my pre-op appointments on Aug 22. Start my low-carb diet on Monday for 2 weeks. Then my surgery is Monday, September 8th!!!!! I am so excited and can't hardly wait to be on my way to a new & healthier me! :)