Forsythia

After almost a year my feet have gotten smaller. From a 9 to an 8.5. Even with thick socks my feet slide around in all my shoes. I bet you thought this was about me having my surgery didn't you? That was last April. LOL. Also, I'm 3 lbs from 199. Slowly creeping down. Lots of this has to do with being unemployed and being sedentary and not having the money to go back and forth to the gym via public transit. The good news is that I am working again and can rededicate myself to it since I have an income again.

Sometimes it is nice to buy something new and fabulous - I got this Kensie dress that makes me so happy. Enjoy it while you can and move on. But yeah, I get what you mean. Normally everything I get is from Ross or the clearance rack (Like, $95 pants for $16 clearance). Or basics from Old Navy. Congrats on crossing the century mark in weight lost!

So happy 2015. Let's do a recap! Surgery May 5th, 2014. Program start weight 312 All time high 335 Current weight 210 Goal weight 150 Height 5'5" Age 37 going on fabulous. I feel like I'm in the home stretch. My immediate goal is to be 199.5 by February 7th. Why February 7th? That is my birthday. And my birthday is my favorite day, ever. So this year I want it to be fabulous by me being under 200 lbs by that day. I have a month to lose 10.5 lbs. Can I do it? Hell yes I can do it! (Despite my general downer attitude about society as a whole I'm remarkably positive about myself and my own motivations. LOL). I didn't gain any weight over the holidays, but I also did not lose any. But I'mma be honest, I had way too many coconut rum balls and I have no one to blame for those rum balls but myself because I made them. Dealing with ones own demons and weaknesses never gets easier, no matter how far along you are. Those weaknesses resurface. I got rid of all my old clothes. There was a post on the forums where someone wondered why they were keeping their old too big clothes. I had bags of too big clothes in my closet just taking up space. I kept saying I was going to donate them, but I never did. It was the fear. I took the step to throw them out. I was just keeping them as a crutch to my fears. So bite me, demons. I am not giving into the fear. I am not keeping those size 28s anymore. I will not go back to wearing them, ever.

I feel your pain girl. I've lost over 100 lbs in seven months and I'm still a size 18 in pants. But keep things in perspective. I was 312 lbs. A size 28 before. And I'm still losing. Able to do so much more. Diabetes is in remission. And I no longer feel like the fattest fat person riding the CTA here in Chicago. So every time you feel like comparing, take a mental list of all your accomplishments from big like your 5k to small like needing to get your rings sized - or whatever they may be! Your journey is your own, your body is your own. Learn to love both of them!

Venti skinny caramel iced coffee with half and half. With caffeine. None of this decaf stuff.

Well, more like, my face. When I look in the mirror, my face looks the same as it always has. I never had a fat face to begin with, but now, when I look at pictures of my face, it looks too skinny. Yet I'm still above 200 lbs. My face needs to stop losing weight. LOL! Also, this morning, the scale said 211.5, which is over 100 lbs from my program start weight (and well over 120 from my all time high). Anyhow you be the judge on my face. The first picture is of me and my husband from a few years back. Please note my face was not fat. The second one was taken Thanksgiving weekend. I think my face looks weird. I do realize that they were taken at different angles. But still. I guess if my face is the one thing I have to b***h about then I can't complain too much.

Are you logging your food intake in a program like My Fitness Pal? If not, start. You might be cheating your sleeve by overeating. Do you go to the gym or workout at all? If you don't go to a gym, you might sign up for one. Start slow if you haven't been working out. Ease into things by doing 20 minutes on the treadmill or elliptical. I personally find that I am more likely to workout if I am paying for it. Are you getting enough protein, calories and water. On the flip side of overeating, you might not be getting enough calories. If you are only eating 500 calories a day, you might need to up your caloric intake to 800 or 900 to begin losing again.

My waist is down to 40.5 inches. Two weeks ago it was 42 inches. I find measurements far more interesting than the scale. But I weight every damn morning. I don't measure every day. Conversely, I don't record my weight unless it goes down. So it might fluctuate or even go up, but I don't count that in MFP. Only when the scale goes down. LOL. I've transitioned from 18W pants to 18 misses pants. Misses pants are a couple inches smaller in the waist and hips.. And psychologically, it's more fun to get clothes from the misses department or a straight sized store like New York & Company than the plus department or Eloquii. Some 18s are tight, some are not. It's just funny how pants change from cut to cut, brand to brand. For example, at New York & Company, I tried on a pair of plain blue jeggings. They were an 18, but they were large. Later I checked the reviews on their website and the consensus was that they ran big. I got a different pair of jeggings (yeah, I like tight pants and I cannot lie) and they were much more true to the size chart (and size charts are funny in themselves, because my measurements are always larger than the size I am in, but I am not like a sausage in them). Possibly because they were high waisted and a different mix of material in the denim.. who knows. Also, public transit. I've noticed that people don't hesitate to sit next to me anymore. This is a blessing and a curse. People aren't repulsed by my girth, but damnit people are in my space now. LOL. And seats I would have avoided I no longer have to avoid (you all know the three seaters - fat girls like me always avoid that middle seat. I still naturally avoid the middle seat, but I can sit in that three seater and not encroach on the person next to me anymore).

Ah the endoscopy. The doctor who did mine was so jovial. I think he really likes scoping people. I remember being told to turn onto my side then waking up in the recovery room humming. I don't remember what song I was humming but I was humming. Then they gave me cookies and a ginger ale! Tee hee! You are in the home stretch now, girl!

At 6.5 months post-op, I am 218lbs. I want to be 212 by 7 months out (12/5). That will be 100 lbs gone from my program start weight of 312. I want to be below 200 lbs before my birthday (February 7th). I will do it. I think as a stretch I could be 192 by my 38th birthday. I've come so far, but the finish line (150 lbs) still seems so far away. The weight will go when it wants to go. In fits and spurts.

One that isn't three sizes too big. Just in time for the polar vortex. FUN TIMES! I was hovering right between the XL and the 1X. I erred on the conservative side and got the 1X. I really think I could have gotten the XL and been okay.

Can I just post this picture? A skirt I used to wear (women's 3x) and a skirt I bought yesterday (size XL - from NY & co). I cannot believe my waist is this small.

I had a sleeve and my sugar levels immediately dropped after my surgery. I was no longer on medications about a week or so after my surgery. My HgA1C at my last check up was 5.5%. At one point it was over 9%! (I had gotten it down to 6.7% pre-surgery, as my surgeon will not do the surgery on you until you get your HgA1C down below 8%). Like countrysweet, whenever I check my sugar levels they are always pretty even keel, around 94, 98 and the like. While I will fully admit to being vain, I really was becoming more and more concerned with going blind and/or losing a foot. I was already on two medications and my nurse practitioner was thinking about moving me to insulun. I was diagnosed as diabetic when I was 32 (I'm 37 now). So the thought of facing the effects of the disease for another 30 plus years was daunting.

Today I went to Macy's - the big flagship store in the Loop. Normally I automatically go up to the 5th floor where the plus sizes live. Today I went to the 3rd floor where the contemporary brands are (like, Kensie, Bar III etc. Younger and hipper, and slightly edgy but not juniors. So, right where I skew stylistically). I found this sheer, embroidered hippie dippy top on the 80% off rack. It was $12 after the discounts. I found all these clothes to try on in my size. Some fit, some didn't. Some were summer clothes on clearance. I declined to buy them because I figure next summer they would be too big. But I was able to try on all these different dresses and tops and stuff that I would have had to mournfully walk by before. But the whole time, I kind of felt like a sales associate was going to come up to me and tell me that my size was on the 5th floor. No one did that. A couple people did ask me if I was finding everything okay. Then I went up the 4th floor and tried on more casual, less edgy clothes. Got a pair of capri pants for $8. Also clearance. Good for lounging about the house on the weekend. I went to the new Ross that just opened on Randolph. It is disappointingly small. Well appointed, but small. The Ross I normally go to is about the same size. I picked up another bra in 38DD. So now I have three that fit properly. Yay for that. As it gets colder, it is becoming apparent that I need a new winter coat. I have three. And they are all too big. Way too big. I have this issue - being two different sizes - an 18/20 on the bottom and a 14/16 on the top causes problems. A coat that fits me up top won't zip over my derriere. And I am a person who likes coverage. We're talking about Chicago in the winter. A place that got nicknamed Chiberia last year. Ideally I want a down coat I will wear the hell out of so that I can justify the $250 price tag. But I really don't want to buy one in a plus size. So far every coat I've tried on in a misses size has been to small except for one Anne Klein wool peacoat (in fabulous fuchsia) in a regular XXL (18/20). I really want down, as it is warmer than wool. I guess I will just have to keep exercising so I can lose more weight and get into an XL. I don't want to pay $20 more for a coat just because I'm buying it in a plus size.