defibvt

@BuzzVSG well done and congrat's

Great. Thank you. I never thought of Eastbay. I order stuff for my kids all the time.

Sent from my SM-G960U using BariatricPal mobile app

Hw:608
Sw:536
Cw:360
Top picture is at about 360 bottom is at 550
Less than one year separates those pictures😮

Thanks... I've still got 30+ lbs to go before I'm at my "dream goal" but... overall I'm happy with the progress, Just really kicking myself for not getting the bypass back in 2011.

@Matt Z congrats. Well done

September vs March down 45 lbs - 4 week’s post sleeve.

Left was day of surgery (May 10, 2018) and the right was taken on August 2, 2018. Not quite 3 months. A total loss of 93 lbs.

There are boundaries and then there are boundaries... and respect is respect. Although in my experience, I have received some helpful advice from women, on this site, for basic weight loss issues, this group by defining it as a 'Guys Group', should be left to men discussing issues related to men, even if the issues might have a broader general concerns. Hope everyone is getting ready for the weekend!

There are boundaries and then there are boundaries... and respect is respect. Although in my experience, I have received some helpful advice from women, on this site, for basic weight loss issues, this group by defining it as a 'Guys Group', should be left to men discussing issues related to men, even if the issues might have a broader general concerns. Hope everyone is getting ready for the weekend!

There are boundaries and then there are boundaries... and respect is respect. Although in my experience, I have received some helpful advice from women, on this site, for basic weight loss issues, this group by defining it as a 'Guys Group', should be left to men discussing issues related to men, even if the issues might have a broader general concerns. Hope everyone is getting ready for the weekend!

Personally, I respect the rules. It says "no men" in the women's room.. so I don't post or reply there. Just because someone CAN do something, doesn't mean they SHOULD do something. It's a respect thing, but I guess not everyone seems to care, I'll joke around and point it out to some members posting in the Guys' room... but I've seen others ask women not to post, or let them know it's the guys room... and they just don't care.

To me. It's about the rules and the respect in following the rules.

Am I the only one that gets annoyed by the number of women that post in the Guys' Room?
Please don't get me wrong, I have the utmost respect for women and consider them peers and equals.
I guess the rub is that women dominate, for obvious reasons (80/20), the general forum and I personally don't and rarely see men post in the Gals' room. It feels like an invasion of the one place that should be The Guys' Room. And, I've read the excuses about how they don't know there in here. To me, they are just that, excuses. I can read a URL just like everyone else.
Hope this doesn't start a $hit storm, just want some perspective. Oh and to be clear, I want it from the Men.

July 24th was my one-year surgiversary . What a fantastic journey so far!

Thank you! It all sounds wonderful

@simon66
We all have our personal reasons for having the surgery, and in all honesty, the aesthetics and looks were the least of my concerns. Since having surgery, I've contemplated having skin reduction surgery, even at the ancient age of 52. Having surgery is a major event and the greatest benefit is health and quality of life. Both of my parents have died from heart disease or complications from being obese and diabetes. So, for me, it was an easy choice. I have gained energy, motivation and decreased my risks for theses leading causes of death or disability. Good luck on your journey.

Of course, as much as I can.
I had been researching weight loss surgery for about 5 years before talking to my doctor. He didn't have much information and was not fond of the idea, mainly because I don't think he knew of any patients or very limited few who had had it done. Anyway, reluctantly - he referred me to a local bariatric center and I signed up for the monthly informational seminar. I soon began the process of the 6 month requirements set by my insurance.
So... I KNEW I would lose weight, I KNEW that I would get off at least some of my meds and I KNEW this could greatly extend my life. Honestly, had I not had this and with the weight and yearly gain... I don't think I'd be around another 10 years. I KNEW that it was a permanent restriction.
It's all the things along the way once you've had the surgery that hit me unexpectedly, not in a bad way. I didn't realize how determined I could and would be. I didn't realize the growing confidence and how that would make me feel. When I say confidence, I don't mean ego... it's, for me... at first anyway, a feeling of deeper worth. The feeling of..."YES, I am doing this and I CAN DO THIS." It was a subtlety that others might not have even noticed but I did... and it was a fiercely powerful feeling, even if it wasn't roaring. If that makes any sense. It's all the moment that made and make up the journey. Starting at walking around the block and being winded to walking 26 miles eventually... not because I had to but because I could. It's hiking... actually with friends and not only keeping up but sometimes leading the way. Before, I stopped going with others because I felt as though I held them back and that made me feel very self conscious and guilty. It's seeing and feeling my body change. Each time I would have to get new clothes... I still automaticall walk to the big/tall mens and then I find my way to my regular sizes. When I get clothes now... I still think, "Damn, these look like kids clothes."... it's the wonderment of going through a second adolescents in may way. And ego does creep in a bit... which isn't always bad. I hadn't felt sexy ... maybe ever. I actually feel sexy at times... and it breaks my brain. LOL There are so many things tiny and large but all profound along the way... and those are the things that have really hit home. Its hard to explain but hope that makes a bit more sense.

Thank you Yazoo71! I hear you. I've spent the better part of the last 5 years doing just that, and actually putting up photos on the dating apps, and actually asking people to meet in real life on the very rare occasion that anyone actually messages me back. I haven't yet taken the very scary risk of asking someone out in person who I wasn't sure liked me or not, but I'm hoping to do that soon. It has just become too much. 44 years of saying 'someday' is too much when it appears like there are so many people out there who are able to be in relationships or even just date. It seems my world is filled with men who I can talk to but never touch. I think it will have to be the health concerns that drive my decision, as you say. I'm on a lot of meds now to, and this is way to early in life for diabetes and high blood pressure etc... to be such an issue. I'm curious what you meant by:
I wonder if you could expound on that?

Hey there, Simon66.
I think that if you go through with this procedure, you really need to do it for yourself. If a guy is going to judge you on how you look or expect you to change to fit some mold that he finds attractive - that's totally HIS issue. You are worthy and deserve more than that... don't settle and don't sell yourself short. I don't mean that to sound preachy at all, just saying no guy is worth jumping over hoops for. The right guy will love you for your heart... and yes, there has to be attraction and everyone is attracted to different things. I've had guys who didn't give me the time of day when I was 350 pound who now try to talk to me... on the flip side - I've had bears who found me hot then a bit dismal now. And ya know, that's fine. lol
I, personally, had this surgery done for health reasons and for the fact that I want to be around as long as possible. I am down to the low 190s and I feel amazing. I have a confidence in myself that I wasn't expecting. I find the biggest changes and epiphanies are all the things that weren't on my radar when I began this journey. Since surgery, I've been taken off all my meds (8) and have plenty of energy. Yes, there is a little extra skin but it doesn't bother me at this time... and perhaps in the future, I may choose to do something about it. But if I do, I'll do it for me. I think I'd rather get some new clothes or save for a car tho... lol.
I also had a rounded and full face... I still look younger than my 47 years but yes, I do notice a difference but again, no complaints. I guess the bottom line when I think of it is... it's all gonna fade in time. It wasn't the reason for me. I had been on diets for 30 years... and like you, I would lose a good amount of weight and then turn around and put it back on and then some. I needed a permanent restriction. This has worked for me so far.
This is not an easy thing... if you do this, make sure it's for the right reasons. There is no going back and it is a life changing thing. I don't regret it for a moment and would do it a thousand times over. I have my life back.
Someone WILL like you regardless... you just have to be patient until you meet. My advice is... focus on you. What makes YOU happy, what YOU want to manifest and when people see you doing that... see you happy in your skin... that is sexy. That will catch the lucky guys eye and he will be lucky to get to know you. Don't settle. Do your thing... everything else will fall into place.
Jon

Hey Simon66,
Basically Yazoo71 covered most of what I was going to say on the subject. I'll add a little bit of my own experience to the mix, however.
I was dating a guy for three months this year. I had my surgery in early May and by the first of June he broke up with me. (Maybe he couldn't handle the weight loss?) My point being is that you should do the surgery for you and no one else. If a guy can't accept some loose skin, then do you really need to be with him?
From my own personal experience, I can tell you that my surgery has been life changing and transformative. I feel better. I move better and I have more confidence than I have in years. Like a lot of guys, I spent years on diets losing enormous amounts of weight only to gain it back.
Don't let your dating status define who you are. Make smart choices for yourself and surround yourself with supportive positive people.

Hello all! So glad to find these boards, and particularly a group of gays talking about this. I'm a 44 year old gay male and I've been heavy all my life. I've had the 3 or 4 times in my life where I lost 40, 60, or once 80 pounds, and eventually put it all back on.
I haven't even been to see a Bariatric surgeon yet, but I have some questions that I believe could be best answered by other gay men who have gone through what I am considering. So, if you have the time, I'd appreciate any replies. I'll try to be as succinct as I can.
I really could write a book here, but the crux of the issue is this. Assuming that the men that I'm attracted to are not generally attracted to me (I've literally only been on 3 first dates and had 1 sexual experience in my life), and that my assumption is that those same people aren't likely to be attracted to the extra skin that comes as a result of losing so much weight, also that I'm 44 and youthful in appearance, largely because I have a full face, and losing weight would impact my appearance in that regard, and the fact that by the time I lose the weight and maybe have the resultant surgery to deal with the extra skin, I'll be closing in on 50 years of age, is it worth it, or should I just do my best to continue to try and accept myself and keep praying that eventually someone will like me?
There are for sure other health related concerns that would impact my decision, but I'm kind of terrified that I'll go through all of this and end up no different on the other side. I just want to be able to date!

That is true. Like the ground hog finally seeing its shadow...

Thanks guys! I really appreciate the encouragement. I had a bit of a stall last week, but it was my fault. Luckily, I am back on track and closing in on having sixty pounds gone. Hard to believe it's only been close to two months since I had my surgery.
@defibvt you are so right about it being resocialization. I can tell a big surge in my confidence and I don't feel held back in terms of being more social. I look in the mirror and still see myself as fat, however. I know my body is continuing to change, but I worry if I start dating someone seriously will they accept the stretch marks and loose skin as being part of the entire package.

@shrinkingscott first and foremost, congrat's on the great job, You goal is closer then you think. As far as 'dating' goes, think of it as more 're-socialization' skills developing. Our bodies change and people perceive our bodies differently. So take this time to yourself... and if someone comes along... explore what you feel is the right thing to do... No one is going to judge you any differently.... Again, your journey is really just beginning. I wish you all the best!

That is true. Like the ground hog finally seeing its shadow...

Pretty proud of my equipment and all....but losing 50 pounds makes my package look enourmous....so fellas.....lose that weight....and gain inches!!!!!

#GoForthAndConquer