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About ajb1029

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    Advanced Member
  • Birthday October 29

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    Veterinary Receptionist
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  1. ajb1029

    Slogging through the crappy times

    So here I am...almost 2 weeks post op( 2 weeks on Monday). And y'all...the regret is for real. Was not prepared for how painful the incisions would be and how much they would limit how much I moved around, shuffling really even though I was ready mentally to go back out to hiking. Sitting in the car is miserable and I go back to work on Tuesday-an hour commute one way. I can barely tolerate the protein shakes and have basically stopped drinking them, they make my stomach spasm so I have been living off of sugar free pudding with protein powder mixed in, strained soup since broth is to salty and gross and greek yogurt and water. I have made water my priority but even so I have gone from easily drinking 100-150oz on a given day to somewhere between 44-60oz. I am miserable. On top of all this the scale moved the first four days, then bounced back up 15lbs and has not really moved from there. I know I'm losing because I'm tracking inches but it would be nice to get some assurance from the scale. I am also allergic to the skin glue they used so my incisions are red, angry and so f*cking itchy I want to rip my skin off. Living off of Benadryl and hydrocortisone cream at the moment. I am frustrated. Hoping that once I move on to the pureed foods on Tuesday that getting my protein in will be easier and once I am not so sore I will be able to really get moving. It's not all gloom and doom I suppose, I have had no issues with heartburn(I didn't ever prior to surgery), I haven't had any complications, no gas pains to really speak of. I just want to get down all the crap that I'm going through so maybe in a few months when I look back at this I can write something to the tune of "things got better, much better"...fingers crossed. -A
  2. ajb1029

    Surgery this morning!

    Thanks everyone. I am super sore, on and off nausea and drinking even the tiniest sips have my stomach spasming painfully and it makes me burp. Lots of regrets right now but hopefully not as time passes. Sent from my SM-N986U using BariatricPal mobile app
  3. Okay, today's the day and I can't believe it! I've taken my preop anti nausea medication and had my presurgery shake and will be heading to the surgery center here in about 25 minutes. I'm nervous but not as worried as I was last night. Prayed and cried a lot last night but feeling much more at ease now. Did write myself a letter to reference going forward and one for my mom in the super rare event I don't make it home(it puts me more at eas. I don't think I'd be as ready without these forums, so thank you everyone for your input and guidance! It is my turn to hit the loser's bench! Anyone else going in this morning? Sent from my SM-N986U using BariatricPal mobile app
  4. ajb1029

    Tracking apps

    Thank you guys so much! I have both those apps but didn't realize they tracked inches lose! [emoji4] Sent from my SM-N986U using BariatricPal mobile app
  5. Hey y'all I start my preop diet tomorrow and I am looking for a good way to start tracking inches lost. Anyone have any apps or tips/tricks they can share besides using like Excel or something? I appreciate it, so ready for the loser's bench! Sent from my SM-N986U using BariatricPal mobile app
  6. ajb1029

    Got a date aka hurry up and wait

    As some of you know by now by my post from a couple of weeks or so ago, I GOT A DATE! Lord willing and the Covid settles a bit, I will be joining the loser's bench on December 7th! Monday starts my preop diet-I can either do an all liquids diet or one with one small meal from a very short list of meat and vegetables. I opted to do whichever one my body needs each morning. I have done water fasting before with my longest without food being 3 days so I have some idea how craptastic this is probably going to be for the first few days. Thankfully while I love my family dearly everyone is okay with me sitting at home to hang out with my protein shake and cleaning supplies while my mom goes to my younger brother's house a few hours away. While I enjoy Thanksgiving food it won't be that much missed away from the smells and watching everyone else eat. My work schedule also is normal so Thursday is just a normal day off for me and then back at it Friday and Saturday so I also will count my blessings my day off isn't spent in a car for a good part of the day. Christmas will probably be different, Christmas is much more family and a lot less eating involved. 😊 So today was my stock up day for the next week or so(I didn't want to go all out buying 2 weeks worth in case tastes change, Covid postpones surgery or my tastebuds change) and of course it was basically everyone else's shopping day...completely didn't think about it being Thanksgiving week...oops. Anywho, ended up with some Fairlife, Premier protein shakes, sugar free jello, tasty bone broth(I can add a small amount of chicken or other meat and some veggies to it to make it more soup like), Mio Sport for electrolyes since I know I have a tendency to have leg cramps, fiber, immodium, bean-o--for any possible stomach irritability on the diet and beyond, and so many water flavor packets! I also have video games I can play, my novel to work on (anyone else doing NaNoWriMo this year?), books I've been meaning to read and cleaning to do to keep me out of the kitchen and focused on other things when I'm not at work. Wednesday is my preop visit with the nutritionist/surgeron and finalizing financial stuff and December 4th is my Covid test-if anyone has any insight to how terrible (or not really) that is, I'm all ears. I will be getting the nose swab(yay me. -_-) but my supervisor started my two weeks time off on the 4th and just had me work 4 days in a row which means I can get it done early and come home and go back to bed. Plan on going into nesting mode that weekend-although I'm kinda already working on it now. I've been saving up my vacation basically all year in anticipation of 2 whole weeks off. I want to make sure if I have any complications I won't screw up our schedule but also I work at a vet clinic as a receptionist and y'all...I am EXHAUSTED. I have a couple of friends that have already made plans to come see me while I'm on leave and I also plan on maybe going out to the beach for the day to walk and take pictures if I'm up to it(I know I see others being able to handle several miles of walking only a few days post op). But for the most part, I'm not making any plans but to rest, walk and sip anything else besides that is all extra bonuses! 🙂 I ordered some popsicle making molds from Amazon that I plan to use with my flavored water that should be here in a couple of days along with my pill dispenser (has 4 compartments per day-AM, Lunch, PM, evening) and I can take one large compartment with me to work instead of the whole thing! After so much time sometimes it is really hard for me to believe I actually have a surgery date...I went to my first ever bariatric surgery info session when I was 17...I am now 31...I always say that you can never help someone from addiction or just bad choices unless THEY ARE READY and I never listened to my own advice...until last year on my 30th birthday, I had had so many birthdays where I always promised myself in a year I wouldn't be fat, I could almost picture myself not obese but not quite. 30 was my wake up call that I couldn't do it on my own, I needed my help. In the mountains of Wyoming (I went back to visit with friends I had made while living there for a few years) I decided that I would find a PCP and start figuring it all out. I got insanely lucky, I had no PCP in mind when I called to make an appointment, just asked the receptionist who she would recommend and haven't looked back. She has been rooting for me for months and when I got to send her a message and let her know I had a date was a really big highlight for me. I stuck with this and here I am...16 days from surgery. I plan on vetting a therapist here in a few weeks, to find one that matches some specific criteria that also happens to be in network may be a bit of a challenge but I have challenges that weight loss will bring me I've never faced before...like dating...I've been obese since 4th or 5th grade so I've never been in a relationship or worried about unsavory characters giving me attention I do not want although I also plan on starting Krav Maga classes when my surgeron clears me. I think that's all I got for now, gonna enjoy my last 24 hours of "normal" eating tomorrow and Monday starts the real countdown! Amanda
  7. ajb1029

    I GOT A DATE!!!

    Since I can have a very basic meal once a day along with my protein I plan on talking with my nutritionist to come up with what I can have that day. Thankfully for me and my family while we have a Thanksgiving meal it has never really been the absolute sole focus of the day. I think if I go into it with a plan I'll be okay[emoji4] Sent from my SM-N986U using BariatricPal mobile app
  8. Holy crap, December 7th y'all! I am equal parts excited and terrified. [emoji51] My preop diet starts the 23rd{2 weeks of either just protein shakes or protein shakes with a small evening meal}. It includes Thanksgiving so I will be looking through the guidelines to figure out how best to enjoy my holiday. Insurance approved an outpatient visit, so that means if I recover uneventfully I get to go home that afternoon! I like that. [emoji16] Also have a preop visit with the nutritionist, surgeon and finance(I have to pay the remaining amount of my out of pocket max) a little more than a week preop and then a covid test 72 hours prior to surgery. It just seems like a dream right now, this is what I've spent the last like 9 months working towards, actually the last 12 or 13 years. I guess as things get a little closer it will seem more and more real. Back to reading the forums and watching youtube videos in preparation. Any surgery twins out there for the 7th? Sent from my SM-P610 using BariatricPal mobile app
  9. Thank you guys for all your insight! There were more than a few things that I hadn't really thought about as being a side effect of posting on social media(especially hadn't considered working through my mental and emotional challenges on top of potentally dealing with other people's issues). While I am still at least probably a good month or more out of surgery, I will probably hold off on announcing the surgery except for the wls support groups on facebook that are private. My coworkers know and all of them are completely supportive(I don't have any close friends but consider them to be the closest things to friends) and my mom who I live with currently is 130% on board as well. I think I will keep the tiny day to day details limited to those and only in person....at least until everything stabilizes in a year or so post op. I appreciate all the feedback, I knew I could count on y'all for some good advice! [emoji4] Sent from my SM-N986U using BariatricPal mobile app
  10. Guys...I got my approval letter! Just waiting on the finance office to receive necessary insurance documents and then the surgeon's office will be in touch to set a date!! Now, how many of you posted on your social media after surgery? I have every plan to, my friend's list are all people I have met in real life and I'm not overly worried about negative dumb asses but I plan on cleaning house if they show themselves. Anybody highly recommend against posting about your surgery due to horrible blow back? Just curious. Long story short, just waiting on insurance finalizing with hospital and a date!!![emoji3060][emoji3060][emoji3060][emoji3060][emoji3060][emoji3060][emoji3060][emoji3060] Sent from my SM-P610 using BariatricPal mobile app
  11. ajb1029


    As it sits I am now 27 days away from my 7th and final weigh in visit with my PCP. Granted I did find out I have to go over to the lab to get some bloodwork done but I plan on doing that on Friday and don't expect any huge problems that need addressing so really, it that last visit. In the last 7 months as of right now I have 1)quit smoking (February 7th baby!) 2)Gotten to really forge a relationship with my PCP(SO thankful for this, I need as many people rooting for me as possible!) 3) Made quite a few small changes in anticipation of surgery 4) Became more active on this forum and other Facebook pages 5) Kept at this for now almost a year. A few reflections thus far: If you have a supervised diet requirement by your insurance, embrace it y'all. I never really expected to enjoy my visits with my PCP during this time but even she said this last visit that our chats were her favorite appointment and that she was proud of how far I've come. To clarify, I've only lost like ~9lbs(sometimes 6lbs depending on the time of day and if I am wearing work clothes) but I have added in quite a bit more exercise (most weeks I average 30-45mins at least 4-6 days a week), I am drinking so much more water, I've cut out straws(for the most part) and energy drinks and I am currently working on getting rid of soda. I have also most days controlled and conquered my sugar habit, the portion control is where I really struggle honestly and journaling my food should be better but I'm working on that! I guess what I mean to say is that I never really thought about the fact that if I am denied for whatever reason through insurance that I will really need someone in my corner that knows the changes I've made and how much I have worked for this surgery to fight for me. If you don't think your PCP would be willing to do that for you, I'd highly recommend finding a new one before you really get trucking down this path. The small changes really have added up for me, but it's the portion control I lack(I've always lacked) and I am SO ready to have that built in for me to bring alongside my other changes to finally get my life moving the way I want! If you have a few months, make small changes so by the time surgery comes, you aren't trying to change everything about your lifestyle. It hurts to be fat. It really, really does. Incorporating exercise has made me see that even with new shoes, my feet and calves hurt when I power walk and I'm out of commission for the next like 5 days trying to recuperate. Lesson learned: hiking in nature is my go to(zero problems unless I wear the wrong socks-the blisters after 7 miles was like walking in broken glass), but I will also start up my yoga dvd again(it is legit yoga for obese people-the name escapes me at this moment) as well as my Biggest Loser dvds for indoor exercise. I think I'll leave the road pounding to a less fat Amanda, maybe throw in some more gentler, longer walks. My surgeon wants me at 60 minutes of cardio 6 days a week leading up to surgery, can be in increments or all at once. Even being in a little bit better shape than I am now will help my recovery and transition that much easier. If you can, get your bariatric program to pre-schedule all of your weigh in PCP, specialist (sleep, cardiology etc), nutritionist visits at the beginning it will make a HUGE difference. At least it did for me. I had my consult with my surgeon in February, met with the coordinator who scheduled all my appointments (which meant I could ask for my work schedule to allow for those visits off months ahead of time) but also allowed me to put them in my calendar and gave me the ability to countdown each one. I downloaded a widget for my phone that counts down and I get intense pleasure from resetting it after each PCP visit to restart that month countdown. I have a goal to be down 5-10lbs for my last visit and having a countdown gives me incentive! Having this wait for me really made me realize how into instant gratification I was am. So much of me thought I was so ready for this surgery as soon as I walked out of the surgeon's office. I wanted nothing to do with freaking SEVEN months of visits! Going to Mexico crossed my mind more than I really like to admit just because I didn't want to wait and thought I was 100% ready. Obviously, that was false and the more I settled into my routines of PCP visits intermingled with lifestyle changes and new diagnoses(I have sleep apnea, surprise! -_-) the more I realized that if I had been able to have surgery a few weeks after meeting the surgeon I may have been doomed or just really, really, really miserable at the beginning. When I start to get antsy about dates and waiting I HAVE to remind myself that I didn't get to be where I am health/weight wise overnight, in a week or even in 7 months and waiting a little longer isn't the end of the world(especially if you consider my very first visit to a bariatric seminar was when I was 17-my mom was okay with signing anything she needed to-----I am now 30). I've never seen myself at a healthy weight, or even under 300lbs since college about 9 years ago, I have never dated and always considered myself the fat friend-the one that people keep around because I make them laugh but not much else, and my friendship graveyard seems to confirm that. This wait has brought a lot of emotional issues to deal with that thankfully I can deal with a part from recovering from surgery and fixing my eating habits/lifestyle. I discovered I am terrified of no longer being able to not attract the wrong attention(I have never really worried about being kidnapped or raped or even hit on in a bar) but I have remedied that by finding a Krav Maga club by my work that should very nicely double as a gym/workout as well as planning on getting my concealed carry license. Dating is a whole other game, one I probably won't even think about touching for very long time, being along my whole life has given me the ability to be spontaneous in my plans (the dogs don't care if I wake up and decide to take them 8 hours to a state park to camp and hike with absolutely no warning 🤣🤣. Oh! Last thing, I am now working on an Amazon list of things to order once I am approved and scheduled for surgery! I really think I'm gonna buy that stuffed sleeved stomach stuffed toy(?) animal(?) thing for the hospital stay. I'm sure there are more things, but this kinda became a rambling stream of stuff. I really should have started this blog the day I had my consult but to tell you the truth, I never really saw myself going through this whole process successfully...but since I'm so close to the end and new beginning I need to throw this bad boy into overdrive! Until next time, Amanda
  12. ajb1029

    Almost gave up...again...and other thoughts

    Oh wow, that's AWESOME!! Remember, one day at a time, you got this!
  13. ajb1029

    Almost gave up...again...and other thoughts

    Aww thank you! I am so much closer than I was when I posted this! All of my insurance requirements are met except for my last 2 PCP weigh in visits, so excited to get going on the rest of my life!
  14. ajb1029

    Can't believe how far I've come

    I really have been meaning to write more blogs during my journey and well...I'm kind of lazy and was always motivated right at bedtime. Moving on. So June was my sleep study, have super mild sleep apnea but enough to warrant a cpap machine. I hate it. I hate that I have to pay like $900 for the stupid thing(insurance would not have kicked in until over a thousand dollar deductible had been met so I went with an online provider that I emailed my prescription to and had them set my machine to). So true story, I used it sometimes and for the most part ignored it. Until after talking to one of the nurses about requirements for surgery they require a 75% use of the machine for 4 or more hours a night in the last 30 days (so that is around 22-23 days for anyone wondering). I was in maybe the 25-30% range at that point. I kept taking off the mask at night, or I wouldn't sleep for 4 hours(I skew to a late night person and my job normally has me getting up to get ready to go in at 5am so that clashes most weekday nights). I asked this wonderful community for help and got lots of recommendations and really finally sat down with myself and made sure each night keeping the stupid mask on was at the forefront of my mind every night AND I had to make sure I was in the most comfortable position as possible--9 times out of 10 it worked and I was able to hit my goal. So come to this morning I hit 76%!! Immediately downloaded my sleep report from my app(I have a ResMed machine and their app is pretty great), screenshotted it(can't screen shot it in the app) and messaged it over to Baylor Scott and White (my surgery should be happening in the Temple hospital). That was the last requirement besides the last 2 visits to my super awesome PCP-visit #6 is next Monday and visit #7 is October 27th-two days before my birthday. As soon as the October visit is done my job will be to call the bariatric department to let them know so they can submit all my paperwork(fingers crossed no appeal will be needed)!! When I've tried this process the last few times it has never felt like this, so much more real, something that is SUPPOSED to happen vs doing it because it felt like what everyone wanted me to do. I guess that was something I had to come to the conclusion was the best choice for me, it took me a few years (the first ever wls seminar I went to I was 18-I'm 30 now). I always say that unless someone wants to help themselves it doesn't matter what others offer in support or help(mostly from my experience with people I love and drug habits) and it was so true for me. I always thought I'd lose the weight on my own, day after day, year after year until my weight was 17 pounds higher than my highest ever in the surgeon's office...that was a blow and moment of clarity. is the longest 'supervised diet' I had to do in the past and I have used my time thus far to prepare mentally and emotionally, taking up new hobbies, and changing my habits one at a time. I have thus far: upped my protein and water intake, almost entirely quit sugar(desserts/junk food), quit energy drinks and started working out(this has been a struggle y'all but I plan on taking up Krav Maga and probably kayaking once I'm healed along with my winter hikes to keep it fun). I want to be where I need to be when I wake up from surgery, not grappling with quitting horrible habits and trying to juggle the emotions and physical healing of the surgery. I won't lie, I am an instant gratification person, I would love to be able to just go and self pay with none of the hoops to jump through but now at this point I am so thankful I am not because for me, that would have probably been a disaster. I have lost some weight along the way and I try to keep the fact that weight lost now will make recovery so much easier to keep me on the straight and narrow. I love this community and hope that as I progress from hopeful patient to joining a lot of you on the loser's bench I can contribute valuable insight and motivation. Until next time, Amanda
  15. ajb1029

    CPAP use requirement

    Okay guys, I DID IT!! I am sending in my report with a 76% compliance rate!! [emoji3060][emoji3060][emoji3060] that leaves only my last two weigh ins before paperwork gets submitted to insurance! Sent from my SM-N986U using BariatricPal mobile app