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Everything posted by ajb1029

  1. Hi everyone! So I am hoping to maybe get some recommendations from this lovely community. I need good walking shoes, I am supposed to be at 60 minutes of exercise a day, 6 days a week by the time I have surgery(I have about a month and a half left of supervised diet, 2 visits left!) The issue is I have been putting off new shoes for months but had my wake up call when I took my dog for a brisk 15 minute walk last night and today my feet and leg muscles hurt so much(I even tried my work slip on Crocs thinking I had issues from my sneakers due to support and it made zero difference last night). I can get the exercise in (I love hiking and walking my dog now that I no longer live on the surface of the sun) but shoes have to be addressed. From what the internet tells me, I have supination-I tend to walk on the outside of my feet(evident in the countless pairs of shoes ruined when I wore through the material on the sides). If anyone can throw me recommendations based on what worked for you personally I would be eternally grateful! I can only read so many "lists of best walking shoes for overweight women with supination" since they are all over the place...I plan to check out the Asics outlet store by my work and maybe Academy for New Balance(did I mention I'm on a super tight budget?[emoji51][emoji2360]budget for shoes is around 50-100) Thanks so much, y'all are the best! Sent from my SM-N986U using BariatricPal mobile app
  2. ajb1029

    Slogging through the crappy times

    So here I am...almost 2 weeks post op( 2 weeks on Monday). And y'all...the regret is for real. Was not prepared for how painful the incisions would be and how much they would limit how much I moved around, shuffling really even though I was ready mentally to go back out to hiking. Sitting in the car is miserable and I go back to work on Tuesday-an hour commute one way. I can barely tolerate the protein shakes and have basically stopped drinking them, they make my stomach spasm so I have been living off of sugar free pudding with protein powder mixed in, strained soup since broth is to salty and gross and greek yogurt and water. I have made water my priority but even so I have gone from easily drinking 100-150oz on a given day to somewhere between 44-60oz. I am miserable. On top of all this the scale moved the first four days, then bounced back up 15lbs and has not really moved from there. I know I'm losing because I'm tracking inches but it would be nice to get some assurance from the scale. I am also allergic to the skin glue they used so my incisions are red, angry and so f*cking itchy I want to rip my skin off. Living off of Benadryl and hydrocortisone cream at the moment. I am frustrated. Hoping that once I move on to the pureed foods on Tuesday that getting my protein in will be easier and once I am not so sore I will be able to really get moving. It's not all gloom and doom I suppose, I have had no issues with heartburn(I didn't ever prior to surgery), I haven't had any complications, no gas pains to really speak of. I just want to get down all the crap that I'm going through so maybe in a few months when I look back at this I can write something to the tune of "things got better, much better"...fingers crossed. -A
  3. Okay, today's the day and I can't believe it! I've taken my preop anti nausea medication and had my presurgery shake and will be heading to the surgery center here in about 25 minutes. I'm nervous but not as worried as I was last night. Prayed and cried a lot last night but feeling much more at ease now. Did write myself a letter to reference going forward and one for my mom in the super rare event I don't make it home(it puts me more at eas. I don't think I'd be as ready without these forums, so thank you everyone for your input and guidance! It is my turn to hit the loser's bench! Anyone else going in this morning? Sent from my SM-N986U using BariatricPal mobile app
  4. ajb1029

    Surgery this morning!

    Thanks everyone. I am super sore, on and off nausea and drinking even the tiniest sips have my stomach spasming painfully and it makes me burp. Lots of regrets right now but hopefully not as time passes. Sent from my SM-N986U using BariatricPal mobile app
  5. Hey y'all I start my preop diet tomorrow and I am looking for a good way to start tracking inches lost. Anyone have any apps or tips/tricks they can share besides using like Excel or something? I appreciate it, so ready for the loser's bench! Sent from my SM-N986U using BariatricPal mobile app
  6. ajb1029

    Tracking apps

    Thank you guys so much! I have both those apps but didn't realize they tracked inches lose! [emoji4] Sent from my SM-N986U using BariatricPal mobile app
  7. ajb1029

    Got a date aka hurry up and wait

    As some of you know by now by my post from a couple of weeks or so ago, I GOT A DATE! Lord willing and the Covid settles a bit, I will be joining the loser's bench on December 7th! Monday starts my preop diet-I can either do an all liquids diet or one with one small meal from a very short list of meat and vegetables. I opted to do whichever one my body needs each morning. I have done water fasting before with my longest without food being 3 days so I have some idea how craptastic this is probably going to be for the first few days. Thankfully while I love my family dearly everyone is okay with me sitting at home to hang out with my protein shake and cleaning supplies while my mom goes to my younger brother's house a few hours away. While I enjoy Thanksgiving food it won't be that much missed away from the smells and watching everyone else eat. My work schedule also is normal so Thursday is just a normal day off for me and then back at it Friday and Saturday so I also will count my blessings my day off isn't spent in a car for a good part of the day. Christmas will probably be different, Christmas is much more family and a lot less eating involved. 😊 So today was my stock up day for the next week or so(I didn't want to go all out buying 2 weeks worth in case tastes change, Covid postpones surgery or my tastebuds change) and of course it was basically everyone else's shopping day...completely didn't think about it being Thanksgiving week...oops. Anywho, ended up with some Fairlife, Premier protein shakes, sugar free jello, tasty bone broth(I can add a small amount of chicken or other meat and some veggies to it to make it more soup like), Mio Sport for electrolyes since I know I have a tendency to have leg cramps, fiber, immodium, bean-o--for any possible stomach irritability on the diet and beyond, and so many water flavor packets! I also have video games I can play, my novel to work on (anyone else doing NaNoWriMo this year?), books I've been meaning to read and cleaning to do to keep me out of the kitchen and focused on other things when I'm not at work. Wednesday is my preop visit with the nutritionist/surgeron and finalizing financial stuff and December 4th is my Covid test-if anyone has any insight to how terrible (or not really) that is, I'm all ears. I will be getting the nose swab(yay me. -_-) but my supervisor started my two weeks time off on the 4th and just had me work 4 days in a row which means I can get it done early and come home and go back to bed. Plan on going into nesting mode that weekend-although I'm kinda already working on it now. I've been saving up my vacation basically all year in anticipation of 2 whole weeks off. I want to make sure if I have any complications I won't screw up our schedule but also I work at a vet clinic as a receptionist and y'all...I am EXHAUSTED. I have a couple of friends that have already made plans to come see me while I'm on leave and I also plan on maybe going out to the beach for the day to walk and take pictures if I'm up to it(I know I see others being able to handle several miles of walking only a few days post op). But for the most part, I'm not making any plans but to rest, walk and sip anything else besides that is all extra bonuses! 🙂 I ordered some popsicle making molds from Amazon that I plan to use with my flavored water that should be here in a couple of days along with my pill dispenser (has 4 compartments per day-AM, Lunch, PM, evening) and I can take one large compartment with me to work instead of the whole thing! After so much time sometimes it is really hard for me to believe I actually have a surgery date...I went to my first ever bariatric surgery info session when I was 17...I am now 31...I always say that you can never help someone from addiction or just bad choices unless THEY ARE READY and I never listened to my own advice...until last year on my 30th birthday, I had had so many birthdays where I always promised myself in a year I wouldn't be fat, I could almost picture myself not obese but not quite. 30 was my wake up call that I couldn't do it on my own, I needed my help. In the mountains of Wyoming (I went back to visit with friends I had made while living there for a few years) I decided that I would find a PCP and start figuring it all out. I got insanely lucky, I had no PCP in mind when I called to make an appointment, just asked the receptionist who she would recommend and haven't looked back. She has been rooting for me for months and when I got to send her a message and let her know I had a date was a really big highlight for me. I stuck with this and here I am...16 days from surgery. I plan on vetting a therapist here in a few weeks, to find one that matches some specific criteria that also happens to be in network may be a bit of a challenge but I have challenges that weight loss will bring me I've never faced before...like dating...I've been obese since 4th or 5th grade so I've never been in a relationship or worried about unsavory characters giving me attention I do not want although I also plan on starting Krav Maga classes when my surgeron clears me. I think that's all I got for now, gonna enjoy my last 24 hours of "normal" eating tomorrow and Monday starts the real countdown! Amanda
  8. Holy crap, December 7th y'all! I am equal parts excited and terrified. [emoji51] My preop diet starts the 23rd{2 weeks of either just protein shakes or protein shakes with a small evening meal}. It includes Thanksgiving so I will be looking through the guidelines to figure out how best to enjoy my holiday. Insurance approved an outpatient visit, so that means if I recover uneventfully I get to go home that afternoon! I like that. [emoji16] Also have a preop visit with the nutritionist, surgeon and finance(I have to pay the remaining amount of my out of pocket max) a little more than a week preop and then a covid test 72 hours prior to surgery. It just seems like a dream right now, this is what I've spent the last like 9 months working towards, actually the last 12 or 13 years. I guess as things get a little closer it will seem more and more real. Back to reading the forums and watching youtube videos in preparation. Any surgery twins out there for the 7th? Sent from my SM-P610 using BariatricPal mobile app
  9. ajb1029

    I GOT A DATE!!!

    Since I can have a very basic meal once a day along with my protein I plan on talking with my nutritionist to come up with what I can have that day. Thankfully for me and my family while we have a Thanksgiving meal it has never really been the absolute sole focus of the day. I think if I go into it with a plan I'll be okay[emoji4] Sent from my SM-N986U using BariatricPal mobile app
  10. Guys...I got my approval letter! Just waiting on the finance office to receive necessary insurance documents and then the surgeon's office will be in touch to set a date!! Now, how many of you posted on your social media after surgery? I have every plan to, my friend's list are all people I have met in real life and I'm not overly worried about negative dumb asses but I plan on cleaning house if they show themselves. Anybody highly recommend against posting about your surgery due to horrible blow back? Just curious. Long story short, just waiting on insurance finalizing with hospital and a date!!![emoji3060][emoji3060][emoji3060][emoji3060][emoji3060][emoji3060][emoji3060][emoji3060] Sent from my SM-P610 using BariatricPal mobile app
  11. Thank you guys for all your insight! There were more than a few things that I hadn't really thought about as being a side effect of posting on social media(especially hadn't considered working through my mental and emotional challenges on top of potentally dealing with other people's issues). While I am still at least probably a good month or more out of surgery, I will probably hold off on announcing the surgery except for the wls support groups on facebook that are private. My coworkers know and all of them are completely supportive(I don't have any close friends but consider them to be the closest things to friends) and my mom who I live with currently is 130% on board as well. I think I will keep the tiny day to day details limited to those and only in person....at least until everything stabilizes in a year or so post op. I appreciate all the feedback, I knew I could count on y'all for some good advice! [emoji4] Sent from my SM-N986U using BariatricPal mobile app
  12. ajb1029


    As it sits I am now 27 days away from my 7th and final weigh in visit with my PCP. Granted I did find out I have to go over to the lab to get some bloodwork done but I plan on doing that on Friday and don't expect any huge problems that need addressing so really, it that last visit. In the last 7 months as of right now I have 1)quit smoking (February 7th baby!) 2)Gotten to really forge a relationship with my PCP(SO thankful for this, I need as many people rooting for me as possible!) 3) Made quite a few small changes in anticipation of surgery 4) Became more active on this forum and other Facebook pages 5) Kept at this for now almost a year. A few reflections thus far: If you have a supervised diet requirement by your insurance, embrace it y'all. I never really expected to enjoy my visits with my PCP during this time but even she said this last visit that our chats were her favorite appointment and that she was proud of how far I've come. To clarify, I've only lost like ~9lbs(sometimes 6lbs depending on the time of day and if I am wearing work clothes) but I have added in quite a bit more exercise (most weeks I average 30-45mins at least 4-6 days a week), I am drinking so much more water, I've cut out straws(for the most part) and energy drinks and I am currently working on getting rid of soda. I have also most days controlled and conquered my sugar habit, the portion control is where I really struggle honestly and journaling my food should be better but I'm working on that! I guess what I mean to say is that I never really thought about the fact that if I am denied for whatever reason through insurance that I will really need someone in my corner that knows the changes I've made and how much I have worked for this surgery to fight for me. If you don't think your PCP would be willing to do that for you, I'd highly recommend finding a new one before you really get trucking down this path. The small changes really have added up for me, but it's the portion control I lack(I've always lacked) and I am SO ready to have that built in for me to bring alongside my other changes to finally get my life moving the way I want! If you have a few months, make small changes so by the time surgery comes, you aren't trying to change everything about your lifestyle. It hurts to be fat. It really, really does. Incorporating exercise has made me see that even with new shoes, my feet and calves hurt when I power walk and I'm out of commission for the next like 5 days trying to recuperate. Lesson learned: hiking in nature is my go to(zero problems unless I wear the wrong socks-the blisters after 7 miles was like walking in broken glass), but I will also start up my yoga dvd again(it is legit yoga for obese people-the name escapes me at this moment) as well as my Biggest Loser dvds for indoor exercise. I think I'll leave the road pounding to a less fat Amanda, maybe throw in some more gentler, longer walks. My surgeon wants me at 60 minutes of cardio 6 days a week leading up to surgery, can be in increments or all at once. Even being in a little bit better shape than I am now will help my recovery and transition that much easier. If you can, get your bariatric program to pre-schedule all of your weigh in PCP, specialist (sleep, cardiology etc), nutritionist visits at the beginning it will make a HUGE difference. At least it did for me. I had my consult with my surgeon in February, met with the coordinator who scheduled all my appointments (which meant I could ask for my work schedule to allow for those visits off months ahead of time) but also allowed me to put them in my calendar and gave me the ability to countdown each one. I downloaded a widget for my phone that counts down and I get intense pleasure from resetting it after each PCP visit to restart that month countdown. I have a goal to be down 5-10lbs for my last visit and having a countdown gives me incentive! Having this wait for me really made me realize how into instant gratification I was am. So much of me thought I was so ready for this surgery as soon as I walked out of the surgeon's office. I wanted nothing to do with freaking SEVEN months of visits! Going to Mexico crossed my mind more than I really like to admit just because I didn't want to wait and thought I was 100% ready. Obviously, that was false and the more I settled into my routines of PCP visits intermingled with lifestyle changes and new diagnoses(I have sleep apnea, surprise! -_-) the more I realized that if I had been able to have surgery a few weeks after meeting the surgeon I may have been doomed or just really, really, really miserable at the beginning. When I start to get antsy about dates and waiting I HAVE to remind myself that I didn't get to be where I am health/weight wise overnight, in a week or even in 7 months and waiting a little longer isn't the end of the world(especially if you consider my very first visit to a bariatric seminar was when I was 17-my mom was okay with signing anything she needed to-----I am now 30). I've never seen myself at a healthy weight, or even under 300lbs since college about 9 years ago, I have never dated and always considered myself the fat friend-the one that people keep around because I make them laugh but not much else, and my friendship graveyard seems to confirm that. This wait has brought a lot of emotional issues to deal with that thankfully I can deal with a part from recovering from surgery and fixing my eating habits/lifestyle. I discovered I am terrified of no longer being able to not attract the wrong attention(I have never really worried about being kidnapped or raped or even hit on in a bar) but I have remedied that by finding a Krav Maga club by my work that should very nicely double as a gym/workout as well as planning on getting my concealed carry license. Dating is a whole other game, one I probably won't even think about touching for very long time, being along my whole life has given me the ability to be spontaneous in my plans (the dogs don't care if I wake up and decide to take them 8 hours to a state park to camp and hike with absolutely no warning 🤣🤣. Oh! Last thing, I am now working on an Amazon list of things to order once I am approved and scheduled for surgery! I really think I'm gonna buy that stuffed sleeved stomach stuffed toy(?) animal(?) thing for the hospital stay. I'm sure there are more things, but this kinda became a rambling stream of stuff. I really should have started this blog the day I had my consult but to tell you the truth, I never really saw myself going through this whole process successfully...but since I'm so close to the end and new beginning I need to throw this bad boy into overdrive! Until next time, Amanda
  13. I almost gave up...again. I almost decided that my health wasn't worth waiting another month. I almost did, but I didn't this time. An inconvenience that would not phase almost anyone else made me second guess myself for the billionth time. But this time I stuck with it, even though I was disappointed, even though deep down I wanted to use the fact that my first (of seven) doctor supervised “diet” appointments was made into a telehealth appointment that I subsequently did not attend due to some idiocy on my part and therefore had to push my timeline back another month. I wanted to give up, I wanted to cancel every single appointment the bariatric department had made me already. But rational, 30-year-old Amanda kept focused that it was a minor setback, easily remedied by making an appointment for October for the last visit. Also, my first doctor supervised appointment was last week and it was in clinic, gained 7lbs(I call them pandemic pounds -_-) and forgot how much I like my doctor! Actually had a conversation about what changes to make, how things were going and goals for my next visit! Also also, today is my 90 day mark of having quit smoking! WOOHOO! I am in the process of making a playlist for days like that(because really, the most doubt was only around for at most a day or two) to get me through the self doubt of my decision even though for 99.999% of the time I am 120% committed to doing this for me. No pressure from anyone else, no real (or imagined)judgment(s) from others to do what I feel like they want me to do. This is on me. A playlist that will incite courage and faith in the journey, to remind me that the process isn't a sprint but a marathon that must be paced accordingly. --If you have suggestions, I'd love them!--- I did my psych evaluation today. Going into it not knowing what to expect was only mildly nerve wracking. The possibility the answers I gave on a 300 some odd questionnaire with stupid statements will preclude me from having surgery does weigh on part of my mind. And let me reiterate the stupidity of the questions, many of which could easily be changed from 'true' to 'false' and vice versa depending on my mood or how my day had been going. If that is how it goes, then I guess that is how it goes. And plan B will have to be found—Mexico maybe? Each month I am trying to focus on changing a habit, getting into a new mindset. I have incorporated more water and protein. This month (after being weighed at +7lbs than my last weight at my doctor's visit) I have re-started logging food and am gradually cutting out the sugar(cookies, candy etc). My highest weight used to be 320, now, with embarrassment it is 347. I was speechless and upset. I luckily do not have any comorbidities...right now...and like I told a coworker, play with fire for to long and you will get burned. In my case, I'm going to get burned badly. With diabetes and high pressure lurking in my family lines it is only a matter of time not to mention my poor knees. That's all the musings I have for tonight. Have courage, keep the faith, Amanda
  14. ajb1029

    Almost gave up...again...and other thoughts

    Oh wow, that's AWESOME!! Remember, one day at a time, you got this!
  15. ajb1029

    Almost gave up...again...and other thoughts

    Aww thank you! I am so much closer than I was when I posted this! All of my insurance requirements are met except for my last 2 PCP weigh in visits, so excited to get going on the rest of my life!
  16. ajb1029

    Can't believe how far I've come

    I really have been meaning to write more blogs during my journey and well...I'm kind of lazy and was always motivated right at bedtime. Moving on. So June was my sleep study, have super mild sleep apnea but enough to warrant a cpap machine. I hate it. I hate that I have to pay like $900 for the stupid thing(insurance would not have kicked in until over a thousand dollar deductible had been met so I went with an online provider that I emailed my prescription to and had them set my machine to). So true story, I used it sometimes and for the most part ignored it. Until after talking to one of the nurses about requirements for surgery they require a 75% use of the machine for 4 or more hours a night in the last 30 days (so that is around 22-23 days for anyone wondering). I was in maybe the 25-30% range at that point. I kept taking off the mask at night, or I wouldn't sleep for 4 hours(I skew to a late night person and my job normally has me getting up to get ready to go in at 5am so that clashes most weekday nights). I asked this wonderful community for help and got lots of recommendations and really finally sat down with myself and made sure each night keeping the stupid mask on was at the forefront of my mind every night AND I had to make sure I was in the most comfortable position as possible--9 times out of 10 it worked and I was able to hit my goal. So come to this morning I hit 76%!! Immediately downloaded my sleep report from my app(I have a ResMed machine and their app is pretty great), screenshotted it(can't screen shot it in the app) and messaged it over to Baylor Scott and White (my surgery should be happening in the Temple hospital). That was the last requirement besides the last 2 visits to my super awesome PCP-visit #6 is next Monday and visit #7 is October 27th-two days before my birthday. As soon as the October visit is done my job will be to call the bariatric department to let them know so they can submit all my paperwork(fingers crossed no appeal will be needed)!! When I've tried this process the last few times it has never felt like this, so much more real, something that is SUPPOSED to happen vs doing it because it felt like what everyone wanted me to do. I guess that was something I had to come to the conclusion was the best choice for me, it took me a few years (the first ever wls seminar I went to I was 18-I'm 30 now). I always say that unless someone wants to help themselves it doesn't matter what others offer in support or help(mostly from my experience with people I love and drug habits) and it was so true for me. I always thought I'd lose the weight on my own, day after day, year after year until my weight was 17 pounds higher than my highest ever in the surgeon's office...that was a blow and moment of clarity. is the longest 'supervised diet' I had to do in the past and I have used my time thus far to prepare mentally and emotionally, taking up new hobbies, and changing my habits one at a time. I have thus far: upped my protein and water intake, almost entirely quit sugar(desserts/junk food), quit energy drinks and started working out(this has been a struggle y'all but I plan on taking up Krav Maga and probably kayaking once I'm healed along with my winter hikes to keep it fun). I want to be where I need to be when I wake up from surgery, not grappling with quitting horrible habits and trying to juggle the emotions and physical healing of the surgery. I won't lie, I am an instant gratification person, I would love to be able to just go and self pay with none of the hoops to jump through but now at this point I am so thankful I am not because for me, that would have probably been a disaster. I have lost some weight along the way and I try to keep the fact that weight lost now will make recovery so much easier to keep me on the straight and narrow. I love this community and hope that as I progress from hopeful patient to joining a lot of you on the loser's bench I can contribute valuable insight and motivation. Until next time, Amanda
  17. I have a small problem. I have been wearing my cpap mask easily over 75% of the time(since starting about months) but I am nowhere near the 75% being at 4 hours or more(in last 30 days) I am required to be at(I end up unconsciously ripping off my mask anywhere from 1-5 hours (per the MyAir app) after having it on...I am pretty sure the requirement is from the surgeon and not my insurance. Has anyone else dealt with compliance time requirements like this for cpaps(insurance and/or surgeons)? Also, what do you do to keep the mask on the majority of the night? I am a stomach and side sleeper--my sleep study forced me to sleep on my back--(my back has never been a preferred position) so I bought the Phillips Respironics nose pillow mask that has the hose coming to the mask from the top to help keep it on no matter how I sleep. I really don't have the funds to go run out and buy a new mask right now(this one is barely 3 months old) but will have to if that's a) the solution most of you have and/or b)this is a requirement of most surgeons or c)my insurance requires the compliance rate(I sent an email to the office tonight to clarify). I appreciate any and all input/feedback y'all have! [emoji4] Sent from my SM-N986U using BariatricPal mobile app
  18. ajb1029

    CPAP use requirement

    Okay guys, I DID IT!! I am sending in my report with a 76% compliance rate!! [emoji3060][emoji3060][emoji3060] that leaves only my last two weigh ins before paperwork gets submitted to insurance! Sent from my SM-N986U using BariatricPal mobile app
  19. ajb1029

    Walking shoes recommendations

    Thank you everyone for all the suggestions! Because of my budget I actually ended up with Ryka Ultimate Running shoe, it is incredibly comfortable and the brand comes in wide! While the amount of cushioning is probably gonna wear it relatively quickly, I plan to buy the same brand walking shoe(Academy did not have those in wide but their website does). The difference was almost immediate, I could barely walk into and out of Academy but I switched shoes to go to Sam's and I could already tell a difference in pain levels. A couple of days of wearing them and there is no pain! Sent from my SM-N986U using BariatricPal mobile app
  20. ajb1029

    Walking shoes recommendations

    Ooo I think Austin has a Fleet Feet, I may have to try that out! Thank you for the recommendation[emoji4] I was also thinking about trying New Balance or Asics. Sent from my SM-N986U using BariatricPal mobile app
  21. ajb1029

    CPAP use requirement

    Thank you everyone for the replies and suggestions! I have really doubled down on being mindful of putting the mask back on if it has been pulled off as well as changing up my sleeping positions that ensure I am as comfortable as possible when going to sleep(I have found that alone has helped the most!) I am now up to 46% compliance with about 2 weeks to go. Hoping to hit 75% this month so I can send in my report to the surgeon's office before my last supervised diet/weigh in visit with my pcp! [emoji4][emoji4][emoji4] Sent from my SM-N986U using BariatricPal mobile app
  22. Hey y'all, got my sleep test results back...mild sleep apnea. And I mean like the range is 5-15 and I scored a 5.5....has anyone else dealt with such a low level apnea? I don't feel the apparent effects of it but now apparently I have to get and use a cpap machine. I am going to talk to my pcp and call the bariatric surgery department, there is no part of me that wants to pay money for a contraption that looks horribly uncomfortable...anyone have any thoughts or use a cpap for such mild apnea that has seen life changing changes for the better? Thanks guys! [emoji4] Sent from my SM-N960U using BariatricPal mobile app
  23. Thanks for the replies everyone! I was upset earlier and just really disappointed in myself and looking for ways around it. But your replies coupled with my 2nd weigh in visit with my pcp (I lost 10lbs and she was super proud of me!) I have let rational Amanda take over and will pursue it. I reached out to an online retailer that can also use insurance benefits and I will also look at local equipment stores(the 2 in my town have 2 stars or below from reviews so I am going to look at ones in the city I work). Appreciate all the input once again guys, this forum is such an incredible community!! Sent from my SM-N960U using BariatricPal mobile app
  24. ajb1029

    Evening ramblings...

    Howdy to anyone and everyone out there! I have my own personal blog that I could post these fun things into, but right now, I like the anonymity that I have here from friends and family. While the vast majority of those I want to know, know( I do not plan on keeping it a secret for long after I have the surgery), there are things that I'd rather not put out just yet for all of my social media. Also, I ramble...a lot, just as warning. I hope to one day post all of the posts on my more public blog hopefully to help those that have questions or doubts about the surgery and what kind of process to expect(mentally, physically, spiritually and insurance-ly(?)). Case in point: most of today's post revolves around the steps I have thus far completed towards the insurance requirements. 1) I have completed my first supervised weigh in visit(or whatever it is called) and had gained a staggering 7 pounds since my consult with my surgeon. Holy balls. I refer to them as my 'pandemic pounds' and I vowed that every visit I had there on (with my pcp or other provider) I would not be heavier than my last visit...guys, that 7lbs put me at 347...my HIGHEST EVER WEIGHT. I was mortified. My highest before I had been at was a measly 320- and I'd been at that weight for YEARS. I digress. I got back onto the count-every-calorie-and-log-it train and I have slowly lost around 5-6 of those pounds. Which brings me to another point, if I count every.single.calorie.ever I will usually lose the weight, stop once or twice and get out of the habit of not tracking and BAM! all that weight back plus more. Ugh. I have upped my protein and water intakes drastically and I most admit, protein keeps me from being hungry and thinking about food all the damn time and I look forward to having the surgery that will go hand in hand with that as well as making it impossible to scarf down 4,000 calories in one sitting---done it, hated myself for it and have really started trying to tune into the brain and stomach signals when I'm full to stop and when I want the world to burn, to PUT DOWN THE ICE CREAM AMANDA and take a breather....it's a learning process, and while I'd LOVE to be able to get surgery tomorrow, I am happy for the 7 months of putting into place coping mechanisms as well as upping exercise(and by that, I mean finding things I like besides the long hikes I do in the winter). Step number 2: I have completed the psych evaluation, it was a 15 minute chat with a psychologist on Zoom or whatever telehealth platform they were using and then a 300 questionnaire that I have issues with--I hate the stupid things with vague, sometimes true and sometimes not true statements that you have to say you agree or disagree with. My paper says that the visit was supposed to also potentially discuss the results, but the guy told me once I'd turned them in he would write a report that goes to whoever needs it. I would like to know my results...guess I will call the bariatric department and make sure I'm not doing all this only to be denied in 6 months because of my evaluation-if that's the case, I've already decided I would find a place like Blossom or maybe Mexico to self pay. I digress. Step 3) Had to do a sleep study, had the consult with a nurse practitioner who decided since I have no major ongoing issues I could complete a home sleep study. Guys, it pretty much sucked balls(see pictures). Got that done, turned it back in and Thursday I have the results visit(I wish they could just tell me if I have sleep apnea or not--I will be kind of surprised if I do) AND weigh in #2 with my PCP! BTW guys, I can't stress this enough, if you don't have a PCP that you enjoy going to see and that will root for you, get you a different one. My PCP supports my decision to pursue bariatric surgery and I enjoy our conversations we have had thus far. Will be even happier if Thursday I am down a good 10ish pounds or so. Last item of business, I went to Michael's this past weekend (it was glorious!) and found this sweet box that I have come to refer to as my "You Got This!" box. My book with all my surgery info is in it, I also plan to write myself notes and put inspirational pictures in it(things I want to wear, places to go, things to do etc) to look through when all I really wanna do is eat 5 pounds of chocolate. I attached a picture if anyone is curious, I like having things like that. I should probably call it a night, it's already after 11pm and I have to be up for work here around 5am. Look for more of these hot mess blogs, they make me feel good putting it all (well, most) out there. -Amanda
  25. Thank you everyone for the replies! I had not even considered YouTube video workouts! I do plan on getting some weights and beginning to tone and build muscle. Anything to help me be as successful as possible come that surgery day and beyond! Sent from my SM-N960U using BariatricPal mobile app