Elaine The Great!

Oh how I love this thread! I don't agree with everyone, but how boring would it be if we all agreed on everything?
I HATE the term "Fat Acceptance". I refuse to participate in that. I've been part of numerous conversations with various groups of people, and those who have adopted the "I'm FAT - get over it!" attitude. Fat is a label, but it is far more than just a descriptive like having blonde hair or long legs or blue eyes. It is NOT the same, at least not to me. I refuse to embrace something that is universally accepted as derogatory.
Now, talk to me about Body Acceptance, and I'm all over that. I have been a part of that movement, and it did me far more good than chasing after that imaginary perfect workout regime or fad diet. It validated for me that it's ok to be imperfect and to take pride in how I look. I've always been a hair and makeup girl, but that was really based on the idea that if my hair was fabulous and my green eyes were glowing, maybe they wouldn't notice or care that I was 100 lbs overweight. I realized that it is ok to just love myself in the moment, and do the best I can with what I have, and to never look away from the people I caught staring at my stomach. I can now catch their eye and give them a big friendly smile, and most times, they smile back. I hope that they remember my smile and not my big fat droopy belly.
I have also had countless debates with people on social media and in person about the fat is unhealthy topic. I have never had any weight related illnesses, and I'm 52 years old. No Hypertension, no high cholesterol, nothing. Perfect labs every year. My doctor has told me I am healthier than she is many times. So yeah, I'm not going to jump on that bandwagon and toss statistics around like I'm an expert on obesity related conditions. Of course I KNOW that they exist, I work in healthcare and I see it all the time. However, being fat is not always a precursor to dropping dead of a heart attack or stoke.
These days, my hips and back cause me pain. This is not caused by my weight, it is caused by arthritis and the natural aging process. I'm hoping that my weight loss will alleviate some of that, and it's part of the reason I had surgery. I also need to get my ass out of this big boy office chair and move around more. I'm working on that.
I've followed a lot of Plus Size bloggers and models, and of course I don't agree with some of the crazy things they say, but most of them are realistic about their issues and know that eventually, being overweight is going to take its toll. But for now, they are loving themselves in the moment and enjoying the fact that there are millions of people who consider them beautiful and deserving of the attention they are getting. I was reading one of my favorite bloggers pages yesterday and it linked me to a recent discussion about the use of the term "Plus Size". One designer's comments really moved me:
"I remember the ballet instructor telling me that I would never be small enough to be a ballerina and even if I was, It would kill me to force my body to be something it never wanted to be. That was the first time in my life I ever felt ugly and ashamed of my figure, I think I was 8 yrs old. I remember crying to my Grandmother that I needed to tape my breasts down and get my body thinner so I could be a ballerina. My grandmother said, ‘Girl, these big bones and full bodies are the strength of the women in this family; they were passed down to you in your blood.’ She told me the story of my body. She talked about how I had her mother’s eyes, her sister’s broad shoulders, her cousin’s hips, and the breasts of every woman in the family. Something about that talk made me so proud that I was connected in this unique way with the women in my family."
THAT is the message that I get from these "movements". We need to be encouraged to love ourselves and do our best. If your best is having WLS and getting healthy, then that is awesome. I think that if we are having surgery in order to love ourselves, we are going to find that being overweight wasn't really the problem to begin with. I loved myself just as much as when I weighed 327 lbs as I do now. It took me a while to figure that out, but I am glad that I did, and I have a huge appreciation and admiration for these Plus Size women who have taken on the fight to be accepted as they are, in all their big fat awesomeness.
Here's the link to that article, if anyone is interested.
http://www.plus-model-mag.com/2016/04/keeptheplus-keep-using-term-plus-size/

Sausage is good. Bigger sausage is better.
I don't want a gentleman, though...

Yeah, I hear ya! But "gentleman's sausage"... excuse me while I go giggle in a corner like a 5 year old for a while! XD

Do you ever have that moment of clarity where you step back and wonder "what the hell did I just do?". I had that moment and came to rant about it.
I had sleeve surgery on June 1st and since then:
- My clothes don't fit anymore. I went to wear my favorite shirt yesterday and it was TOO BIG!!!
- People keep telling me I'm looking great. The nerve of some people!
- I don't snore anymore. How am I supposed to annoy my wife while I'm asleep??
- I'm wearing size 38 pants now. I wore those in HIGH SCHOOL! I'm basically a high schooler now!!!
- My gentleman's sausage looks twice as big now. That's like twice as much to disappoint my wife!
- I don't sweat anymore. It is the middle of summer and I don't sweat even when I work out.
- My feet never hurt anymore. I used to have terrible foot pain and it is GONE!
I think I need to go sit in a quite place for a while and relax now.

No, but what a great side effect!

Has Oprah ever talked about WLS and/or why she has not done it? I'm just curious. When I first started thinking of WLS she is the first person I Googled because I wanted to see what her reasons for NOT having it are. I couldn't find anything.

I have always been a body positive person and I feel that loving our bodies is super important. I think where the disconnect happens is that many people think "acceptance" means "this is how I am and I can't do anything about it".
In reality, acceptance is that moment when you are able to acknowledge where you are and embrace yourself with compassion.
I was always proud, attractive woman and have been over 200lbs since high school. I maintained at 235 for 20 years-gaining during my two pregnancies and then losing back to what I can only assume was my "set point". In spite of having a Bmi of 40, I wanted to see models who were curvy and I wanted designers to make clothes that would fit me. I wanted to express my style at any size.
Over the past 5 years, however, I began to gain a little more and no matter what I did, I couldn't shift it. After lots of research and soul searching, I had VSG.
Even as I'm losing, I accept myself and my body. Right now, I need all the compassion I can muster for my inner (and still outer) fat girl who is terrified of what this drastic change means for her.
Our relationships with our bodies is so complex and complicated. I wish Oprah the best but I don't understand why she doesn't have WLS. With all her money and all the work she has put into losing weight, you'd think she'd try something that has a better chance of working.
But still people say it's the easy way out while running out to buy whatever dad diet pill is on the market that promises to make you lose weight with no diet or exercise. Go figure!

I was sleeved on 7/20 and for the first few days didn't necessarily struggle to get in fluids, but it was a constant push all day long to get in approximately 40 oz of Water....I'm 5 days out and the one thing I've noticed in the two days I've been on "full liquids" as opposed to "clear liquids" (2 days post op) is that I'm sick of the after taste of things like Vitamin Water, propel, Powerade zero, etc. I had ordered some Syntrax Nectar samples and left the samples in my work office by accident. Just got to work and tried the Twisted cherry first. Oh, Lord, I think I may exceed my Protein goal (30 on full liquids) today by end of business! It's so yummy! It's funny how some of the most simple things are those that I'm most grateful for in this process!

I'm 3 weeks post op and have very suddenly had issues drinking Water. Even the smallest sip hits my stomach and causes instant discomfort. It's so strange and out of nowhere. Wondering if this is just a little phase?
Also, my sense of smell is INSANE. I smell everything and anything and it's driving my insane. Everyone smells terrible to me, my house stinks, etc. What's going on?!

I quit the Protein shakes 2 weeks post-op because of the terrible Constipation they gave me. I get my Protein now through eggs, chicken, tuna, and...beans! Beans have protein and fiber!

I always got my Protein in, still lost hair. There are other reasons like telogen effluvium (I think that's how you spell it). Has to do with what hair is in what stage of growth when you go under anesthesia. I got it with my gallbladder surgery and plastics as well.

I am so glad I came across this! Just ordered a non-enhanced nutritional yeast on Amazon. No artificial Vitamins...they are no bueno. I have become "digestively intolerant" to both whey and dairy based Proteins. (sorry for that personal info)
My hair has started to shed at a very alarming rate. I have to find something that works! I can't eat enough to get in enough Protein. I'm taking my supplements, all kinds of them...but, my hair!

I am so glad I came across this! Just ordered a non-enhanced nutritional yeast on Amazon. No artificial Vitamins...they are no bueno. I have become "digestively intolerant" to both whey and dairy based Proteins. (sorry for that personal info)
My hair has started to shed at a very alarming rate. I have to find something that works! I can't eat enough to get in enough Protein. I'm taking my supplements, all kinds of them...but, my hair!

And use a straw!!!
I love the heat. I love the beach, I love sitting in the sun, in fact, I spent yesterday turtling (laying on a river rock soaking up the heat like a turtle) and enjoyed every moment of it.
WLS does not mean you have to change your activities. You changed the shape of your stomach, not the shape of your future. Well, you did, but in a positive way!!
Carry Water at all times. Invest in a great insulated cup you love and don't worry about cost. Drink G2 if you stomach it, I can't -- I mix Gatorade and Water. Cut your sodium intake. Beef Jerky is not your friend in the heat if you have a hard time getting in fluids.
SF Popsicles, Italian Ice, watermelon, grapes, high water foods are great treats!
Wear your sunscreen and have a great time!

I am now officially under 200! Long has the day been coming, I can't actually believe I made it here! Sleeved Feb 2nd.

I personally couldnt do the shakes. I did them in the beginning but they made me nauseus. Substituted it with Protein bars and did much better. I didn't find ANY shake that was tolerable after a couple of tries. Hardest thing ever.

Yesterday I posted a "brag list" of misc. things about me and clearly I offended a few people so for that, I would like to apologize. If you actually read the list, you will see that there is very little that is spectacular on there and I am certain that everyone on this forum could come up with something similar if not FAR BETTER than I can.

The point of my list was that I want to be known as far more than a WLS patient or former fatty. It was not at all intended to be an entry into a pissing match. I am quite positive that some of my attributes listed like "drives like a do^che bag", "likes reality TV", and "runs screaming from spiders" won't get me far in life.

I was trying to inject a bit of humor, but clearly I missed the mark.

So as not to fan the flames in a thread gone horribly bad, I will post this right here.

My "brag" list. Please keep in mind that I have been blessed to be a work from home mom for 18 years giving me lots of extra time to torture my kids by being HYPER involved in their schools. I am adding notes in red for clarity.



This was a HUGE reason I kept my surgery to myself.
I am a mom to two great teenagers.
I have been happily married for 21 years. He deserves a medal, don't you think?
I have a fabulous goldendoodle. She sheds horribly, don't believe the people who say they don't.
I am a 2nd degree black belt and a certified martial arts instructor.
I volunteer at a womens' shelter. A friend needed their services, this is a little pay back.
I play the guitar. My mom insisted on music lessons and we couldn't afford a piano.
I own a successful business.
I work with autistic children and kids with Down's syndrome. They will let anyone volunteer.
I love Old School Rap and can perform Rapper's Delight in it's entirety. SOBER. Sorority trick. And it annoys my kids.
I love talking to strangers.
I am the VP of my HOA. No one else would do it.
I am PTA president, Choral Booster's VP and head theater mom at my kids' schools. Helicopter mom.
I love dogs, hate cats, save turtles and run screaming from spiders. I won't flush them either. They might come back up.
I was a beach lifeguard, a sorority girl and an only child. (Explains a lot, huh?) Poking fun at myself.
I Zumba, deep Water fin and ski double blacks. Deep Water finning is an awesome class. Try it! My aunt lived in Vermont so we all skied free.
I drive like a ****** bag even though my vehicle is a minivan because I am always in a hurry. (At least I own it.) Poking fun at myself. I'm a horrible driver.
I hold the door for people and I can recite pi to the 56th digit. I had an autistic student who recited pi all day every day. Everyone in my class could do it.
I used to teach emotionally disturbed kids until the parents drove me nuts. And IEPs. They were the worst.
I was a theater major before I was a psychology major, before I got my degree in communications/psychology and my master's in education. Read that indecisive college kid who racked up a LOT of college debt. Still paying those bills.
I am a brown Mexican but don't speak Spanish. Poking fun.
I am a great cook but a horrible baker. Poking fun.
I love to read and I love reality TV. It's embarrassing to admit the reality TV thing, but I can poke fun at myself...
I drive with the radio off because I enjoy the silence. I talk too much.
I could go on forever but I am boring myself. POKING FUN at myself.

I have a lot more interesting things to talk about over WLS. Why on earth would I make that the definition of me? People can't help but ask about it, I have no desire to be the inspiration of that discussion. It was bad enough that people had to "confess" every extra calorie or missed workout to me while I was losing out of a bizarre "guilt".

I'd rather be any of the above over the former fatty/WLS lady.

Again, my above post was not intended to offend or fan any flames. All I can do is humbly apologize and of course, ask YOU to post your BRAG list. I'd love to hear about YOU.

"The hip hip a hop, a you don't stop the rockin'
To the bang bang boogie
Say up jump the boogie to the rhythm of the boogie the beat"
Powerful list and great sense of humor.

Awesome post! Good luck with your consultation and next steps! Oprah is always gonna have the struggle, she is a food addict and her "taking the high road" about WLS is just a crutch.
I will have to gently disagree with the "rant" about fat acceptance. Plus Size women have made huge progress in the fashion industry and just in general. I follow a lot of plus size bloggers and models, and they take a constant beating from people who are so cruel; the health "experts", the fitness fanatics, and just mean people in general.
For a long time, I was one of those BBW in all my glory. I found my confidence, decided to love myself, and made peace with my body. I wear two piece "fatkinis" (can we just do away with that stupid word?) at home, and have a vast collection of swimwear and assorted accessories.
My reason for surgery was because of the increasing pain in my hips and back that are mostly weight related. I'm looking forward to there being less of me physically, but I'm keeping the lessons being obese taught me, regardless of what the numbers on my scales and clothing say.

That being said, I'm really looking forward to buying smaller "fatkinis"!!!

Awesome post! Good luck with your consultation and next steps! Oprah is always gonna have the struggle, she is a food addict and her "taking the high road" about WLS is just a crutch.
I will have to gently disagree with the "rant" about fat acceptance. Plus Size women have made huge progress in the fashion industry and just in general. I follow a lot of plus size bloggers and models, and they take a constant beating from people who are so cruel; the health "experts", the fitness fanatics, and just mean people in general.
For a long time, I was one of those BBW in all my glory. I found my confidence, decided to love myself, and made peace with my body. I wear two piece "fatkinis" (can we just do away with that stupid word?) at home, and have a vast collection of swimwear and assorted accessories.
My reason for surgery was because of the increasing pain in my hips and back that are mostly weight related. I'm looking forward to there being less of me physically, but I'm keeping the lessons being obese taught me, regardless of what the numbers on my scales and clothing say.

That being said, I'm really looking forward to buying smaller "fatkinis"!!!

Awesome post! Good luck with your consultation and next steps! Oprah is always gonna have the struggle, she is a food addict and her "taking the high road" about WLS is just a crutch.
I will have to gently disagree with the "rant" about fat acceptance. Plus Size women have made huge progress in the fashion industry and just in general. I follow a lot of plus size bloggers and models, and they take a constant beating from people who are so cruel; the health "experts", the fitness fanatics, and just mean people in general.
For a long time, I was one of those BBW in all my glory. I found my confidence, decided to love myself, and made peace with my body. I wear two piece "fatkinis" (can we just do away with that stupid word?) at home, and have a vast collection of swimwear and assorted accessories.
My reason for surgery was because of the increasing pain in my hips and back that are mostly weight related. I'm looking forward to there being less of me physically, but I'm keeping the lessons being obese taught me, regardless of what the numbers on my scales and clothing say.

That being said, I'm really looking forward to buying smaller "fatkinis"!!!

My co-worker, and very good friend, went through the same experience a year and a half ago. Her son was shot and killed and the murderers got away with it. They said it was self defense, and who knows, maybe it was, but it doesn't matter. He was 17 and my friend had to bury her son. She was lost, just as you are now, in the shock and pain of it all. Those first weeks and months were awful. Watching her grieve was heartbreaking.
She went to his grave all the time and would put huge bouquets of flowers out there on the 12th day of each month, because that was his monthly anniversary. It was terrible to watch her go through all of that and I asked her why she was having another funeral each month, and she just said because she needed to do it.
At the one year anniversary of his death, the family gathered at the cemetery and they had a celebration of his life and she finally decided that it was ok to start to move forward. I reminded her that she has her daughters and that they lost their big brother and they needed her to focus on them, and not the ghost of their brother, because that is what she was doing. Her grief was heartbreaking, and it is absolutely true that nobody can imagine that kind of loss and pain unless they experience it.
Give yourself time and do what you need to do to make peace with what has happened. All of this is still so fresh for you, I know that you can't see how life will ever get better for you. My friend tells me that the best advice I gave her was to find a new normal. Life will never go back to the same way it was before this horrible thing happened. But that doesn't mean that you can't find peace and acceptance at some point in your future. One day you will be able to sit with your granddaughter and tell her funny, happy stories about when her daddy was a little boy, and you can talk about what happened and then work on putting the bad memories to bed, and replacing them with the ones of happier times that you will always have.
I'm so sorry that this has happened to you. I will keep you in my thoughts, and I've lit a candle for you to try to help keep you out of the dark places. Peace & Strength to you.

My co-worker, and very good friend, went through the same experience a year and a half ago. Her son was shot and killed and the murderers got away with it. They said it was self defense, and who knows, maybe it was, but it doesn't matter. He was 17 and my friend had to bury her son. She was lost, just as you are now, in the shock and pain of it all. Those first weeks and months were awful. Watching her grieve was heartbreaking.
She went to his grave all the time and would put huge bouquets of flowers out there on the 12th day of each month, because that was his monthly anniversary. It was terrible to watch her go through all of that and I asked her why she was having another funeral each month, and she just said because she needed to do it.
At the one year anniversary of his death, the family gathered at the cemetery and they had a celebration of his life and she finally decided that it was ok to start to move forward. I reminded her that she has her daughters and that they lost their big brother and they needed her to focus on them, and not the ghost of their brother, because that is what she was doing. Her grief was heartbreaking, and it is absolutely true that nobody can imagine that kind of loss and pain unless they experience it.
Give yourself time and do what you need to do to make peace with what has happened. All of this is still so fresh for you, I know that you can't see how life will ever get better for you. My friend tells me that the best advice I gave her was to find a new normal. Life will never go back to the same way it was before this horrible thing happened. But that doesn't mean that you can't find peace and acceptance at some point in your future. One day you will be able to sit with your granddaughter and tell her funny, happy stories about when her daddy was a little boy, and you can talk about what happened and then work on putting the bad memories to bed, and replacing them with the ones of happier times that you will always have.
I'm so sorry that this has happened to you. I will keep you in my thoughts, and I've lit a candle for you to try to help keep you out of the dark places. Peace & Strength to you.

Oh how I love this thread! I don't agree with everyone, but how boring would it be if we all agreed on everything?
I HATE the term "Fat Acceptance". I refuse to participate in that. I've been part of numerous conversations with various groups of people, and those who have adopted the "I'm FAT - get over it!" attitude. Fat is a label, but it is far more than just a descriptive like having blonde hair or long legs or blue eyes. It is NOT the same, at least not to me. I refuse to embrace something that is universally accepted as derogatory.
Now, talk to me about Body Acceptance, and I'm all over that. I have been a part of that movement, and it did me far more good than chasing after that imaginary perfect workout regime or fad diet. It validated for me that it's ok to be imperfect and to take pride in how I look. I've always been a hair and makeup girl, but that was really based on the idea that if my hair was fabulous and my green eyes were glowing, maybe they wouldn't notice or care that I was 100 lbs overweight. I realized that it is ok to just love myself in the moment, and do the best I can with what I have, and to never look away from the people I caught staring at my stomach. I can now catch their eye and give them a big friendly smile, and most times, they smile back. I hope that they remember my smile and not my big fat droopy belly.
I have also had countless debates with people on social media and in person about the fat is unhealthy topic. I have never had any weight related illnesses, and I'm 52 years old. No Hypertension, no high cholesterol, nothing. Perfect labs every year. My doctor has told me I am healthier than she is many times. So yeah, I'm not going to jump on that bandwagon and toss statistics around like I'm an expert on obesity related conditions. Of course I KNOW that they exist, I work in healthcare and I see it all the time. However, being fat is not always a precursor to dropping dead of a heart attack or stoke.
These days, my hips and back cause me pain. This is not caused by my weight, it is caused by arthritis and the natural aging process. I'm hoping that my weight loss will alleviate some of that, and it's part of the reason I had surgery. I also need to get my ass out of this big boy office chair and move around more. I'm working on that.
I've followed a lot of Plus Size bloggers and models, and of course I don't agree with some of the crazy things they say, but most of them are realistic about their issues and know that eventually, being overweight is going to take its toll. But for now, they are loving themselves in the moment and enjoying the fact that there are millions of people who consider them beautiful and deserving of the attention they are getting. I was reading one of my favorite bloggers pages yesterday and it linked me to a recent discussion about the use of the term "Plus Size". One designer's comments really moved me:
"I remember the ballet instructor telling me that I would never be small enough to be a ballerina and even if I was, It would kill me to force my body to be something it never wanted to be. That was the first time in my life I ever felt ugly and ashamed of my figure, I think I was 8 yrs old. I remember crying to my Grandmother that I needed to tape my breasts down and get my body thinner so I could be a ballerina. My grandmother said, ‘Girl, these big bones and full bodies are the strength of the women in this family; they were passed down to you in your blood.’ She told me the story of my body. She talked about how I had her mother’s eyes, her sister’s broad shoulders, her cousin’s hips, and the breasts of every woman in the family. Something about that talk made me so proud that I was connected in this unique way with the women in my family."
THAT is the message that I get from these "movements". We need to be encouraged to love ourselves and do our best. If your best is having WLS and getting healthy, then that is awesome. I think that if we are having surgery in order to love ourselves, we are going to find that being overweight wasn't really the problem to begin with. I loved myself just as much as when I weighed 327 lbs as I do now. It took me a while to figure that out, but I am glad that I did, and I have a huge appreciation and admiration for these Plus Size women who have taken on the fight to be accepted as they are, in all their big fat awesomeness.
Here's the link to that article, if anyone is interested.
http://www.plus-model-mag.com/2016/04/keeptheplus-keep-using-term-plus-size/

I'm just past four weeks out of surgery and I can not get the Protein powders down. They literally gag me. I have unjury, Isopure, Pure Protein, and another one that escapes me right now. My nurse recommended the New whey shots, which I now see aren't the best thing on the market, but at 42g of protein, I'll do them for now. I have to mix them with ice, Water, and Crystal Light to mask the protein smell and flavor, but they don't make me nauseous.
I'm going to try the Syntrax Fuzzy Navel. Has anyone tried it here? I didn't see it mentioned.