Elaine The Great!

Oh how I love this thread! I don't agree with everyone, but how boring would it be if we all agreed on everything? I HATE the term "Fat Acceptance". I refuse to participate in that. I've been part of numerous conversations with various groups of people, and those who have adopted the "I'm FAT - get over it!" attitude. Fat is a label, but it is far more than just a descriptive like having blonde hair or long legs or blue eyes. It is NOT the same, at least not to me. I refuse to embrace something that is universally accepted as derogatory. Now, talk to me about Body Acceptance, and I'm all over that. I have been a part of that movement, and it did me far more good than chasing after that imaginary perfect workout regime or fad diet. It validated for me that it's ok to be imperfect and to take pride in how I look. I've always been a hair and makeup girl, but that was really based on the idea that if my hair was fabulous and my green eyes were glowing, maybe they wouldn't notice or care that I was 100 lbs overweight. I realized that it is ok to just love myself in the moment, and do the best I can with what I have, and to never look away from the people I caught staring at my stomach. I can now catch their eye and give them a big friendly smile, and most times, they smile back. I hope that they remember my smile and not my big fat droopy belly. I have also had countless debates with people on social media and in person about the fat is unhealthy topic. I have never had any weight related illnesses, and I'm 52 years old. No Hypertension, no high cholesterol, nothing. Perfect labs every year. My doctor has told me I am healthier than she is many times. So yeah, I'm not going to jump on that bandwagon and toss statistics around like I'm an expert on obesity related conditions. Of course I KNOW that they exist, I work in healthcare and I see it all the time. However, being fat is not always a precursor to dropping dead of a heart attack or stoke. These days, my hips and back cause me pain. This is not caused by my weight, it is caused by arthritis and the natural aging process. I'm hoping that my weight loss will alleviate some of that, and it's part of the reason I had surgery. I also need to get my ass out of this big boy office chair and move around more. I'm working on that. I've followed a lot of Plus Size bloggers and models, and of course I don't agree with some of the crazy things they say, but most of them are realistic about their issues and know that eventually, being overweight is going to take its toll. But for now, they are loving themselves in the moment and enjoying the fact that there are millions of people who consider them beautiful and deserving of the attention they are getting. I was reading one of my favorite bloggers pages yesterday and it linked me to a recent discussion about the use of the term "Plus Size". One designer's comments really moved me: "I remember the ballet instructor telling me that I would never be small enough to be a ballerina and even if I was, It would kill me to force my body to be something it never wanted to be. That was the first time in my life I ever felt ugly and ashamed of my figure, I think I was 8 yrs old. I remember crying to my Grandmother that I needed to tape my breasts down and get my body thinner so I could be a ballerina. My grandmother said, ‘Girl, these big bones and full bodies are the strength of the women in this family; they were passed down to you in your blood.’ She told me the story of my body. She talked about how I had her mother’s eyes, her sister’s broad shoulders, her cousin’s hips, and the breasts of every woman in the family. Something about that talk made me so proud that I was connected in this unique way with the women in my family." THAT is the message that I get from these "movements". We need to be encouraged to love ourselves and do our best. If your best is having WLS and getting healthy, then that is awesome. I think that if we are having surgery in order to love ourselves, we are going to find that being overweight wasn't really the problem to begin with. I loved myself just as much as when I weighed 327 lbs as I do now. It took me a while to figure that out, but I am glad that I did, and I have a huge appreciation and admiration for these Plus Size women who have taken on the fight to be accepted as they are, in all their big fat awesomeness. Here's the link to that article, if anyone is interested. http://www.plus-model-mag.com/2016/04/keeptheplus-keep-using-term-plus-size/

I lost 6 lbs over the last week but I've been eating bad stuff so I'm sure I put some back on. I am avoiding the scale. I will be weighing in tomorrow morning and I'm sure that I, too, will be placing myself in time out... that's ok. I'm looking good! I don't know the name of that tea, but my friend said she got it at the Vitamin Shoppe. I'm going to go get some this weekend.

There ya go...that's better. I bought a scale yesterday. I've never owned one! I'm trying...I still can't seem to choke down those protein shakes. My friend found a protein tea that she loves so I'm going to try that. Small steps but I'm still steppin' so that's what really matters!

I know how you feel girl! But hang in there! I had my surgery in August and I've only lost 40... Don't give up and don't put yourself down. You just have to keep at it and figure out what you're doing wrong. I know what I do wrong. I'm scheduled for a fill next week and I'm going to join a walking group here at work. I usually tease them and make fun of them because none of them are that big, but I'm about to get my fat azz out there and start walking too. You will look beautiful on your wedding day. Don't be so hard on yourself. Your fiance loves you... he asked you to marry him didn't he??? Come on now...you can let your shoulders droop but keep your chin up!

Thank you! I'm better. I was just having a really bad day. I have an appointment next Thursday for a fill and have landed on the slow losers thread. I think that's the place for me! I am going to be a regular on the website...I joined right as I was having the surgery and then strayed. Strayed right back into a bunch of old bad habits! I'm going to be ok. I am strong and I will beat my battle with fat. Then I'll be all over the plastic surgery threads whining about not being able to afford that tummy tuck and I am SO looking forward to! A trip to Mexico is definitely in my future. Thanks so much for the words of encouragement! LOVE!

I feel so much better today! Thanks for all of your support and advice. I guess I think I'm too cool or too busy to actually write down everything that I eat down. I know when I'm eating too much or eating the wrong thing. I started drinking beer again and I know that has a lot to do with it. I quit yesterday. I'm going back to the occassional cocktail. My friends are all beer drinkers and its hard to give up those old social habits. But my friends are all behind me and I went for months without drinking beer and then when I started up again they all fussed at me. These are bar owners and a few bikers, so trust me they don't hold back. No more Bud Lite for me! I have a date tonight and plan on having a couple of martinis and that's IT. I KNOW that alcohol has a lot of calories but one of the reasons I chose the lap band was because I could still be a social drinker if I want to. I'm wearing size 18 jeans and a long black top today and everybody at work has told me how good I look and that they can really tell I've lost, so that boosted my ego. And to answer the question, YES! I need a fill. I go too long in between but I have to pay $150 each time so I have to spread them out. I'm a single mom with a kid in college so I'm always trying to juggle it all. But I have an appointment next Thursday. They always do the barium swallow so I will know if I have stretched my pouch. I don't think I have, but my sister did and didn't even know it... Thanks again for the support. I plan to be a regular on here and I am so thankful to have somewhere to go to talk and ask questions and vent when I need to. I'm going to work in my yard again Sunday. I am so out of shape it's ridiculous. I'm getting there and a year from now I'm going to be smokin hot!

Thank GOD I've found you all. I need HELP! I was banded 8/24/07 and have only lost 39 lbs or thereabouts. Not too sure because I don't even own a scale. I'm going to buy one this weekend and start to work harder at this. I've been getting discouraged because I'm not shedding the lbs like magic, but I haven't been doing what I'm supposed to. I'm still self-indulgent and eat and drink pretty much whatever I want. I have faithfully given up bread and I do eat much smaller portions than I did before the surgery, but I never was a really big eater. My issue has always been the fact that I refuse to excercise. I'm trying to talk myself into it, but it's so hard for me. I worked in my yard all day last Sunday and my legs are still sore. That's how out of shape I am. I have gone from a size 26 to an 18/20 but it's not enough. I'm 8 months in and I wanted to lose 100 the first year. I know I've lost a noticable amount, but I'm stuck now. For me, this is like going to an AA meeting and saying, Hi, I'm Elaine and I'm A BIG FAT LOSER! I know I shouldn't be hard on myself and trust me, I dont' usually have self-esteem issues, but I'm disappointed in myself for being a slow loser. This is exactly what I expected to happen. In the back of my mind I can hear a little voice saying, you didn't REALLY think this was going to work did you? Man...I'm really down about this today. Tomorrow will be better... :tt1:

Ok all you twosters or on your way to twostervilles, I need some help. I was banded on 8/24/07 and I've lost about 39 lbs. Not even sure about that. I started at 304 and am now about 265 but havent' weighed since February when I had my last fill. I have an appointment for next week for another fill. I have the large 10cc band and have 7cc's right now. I have almost enough restriction but I'm still doing the wrong things. I've been eating pretty much whatever I want unless it makes me sick and I started drinking beer again. I have no excuse and I know I'm messing up. I'm so sick of being fat. All of my friends say wow, you can really tell you've lost weight, but it has stalled so I'm sure what they're really saying is I knew it wouldn't work. I'm just disgusted by the whole thing. Maybe this isn't the right place to post this, but I want to hit that 200 mark really bad and you all are close or are already there. I just needed to vent this somewhere and landed on you guys. Congratulations on your progress. I just feel so different from all of you...I don't know why. Elaine

Claramae, that was well said! I'm getting hungry now and I'm wanting Whataburger and Church's and all the stuff I've been eating for lunch for years... You are SO RIGHT! I've had years of that crap; time to eat the damn soup and get over it. I'm sticking to the soups even though I'm craving carbs and the fats. I'll be DAMNED if I fail at this. Thanks Claramae!

Didn't you know? Jesus is in jail! Everybody who goes to jail "finds" him there. Then when get out, they lose him again. Repent! and mean it when you do...!

I'm having all kinds of gas but it's not uncomfortable. From everything I read it's common. Lots of unpleasant bathroom trips but I suffer from irritable bowel syndrome so that's nothing new to me. I haven't been taking anything for it because I think it's mostly from the all liquid diet. I don't think the liquids will stretch anything because they pass straight through and there's no restriction right now anyway. Overall, I feel so much better!

I'm 43 and have been heavy since my early 20's. I've never ever felt discriminated against because I'm fat. I think that maybe that has more to do with my personality than with anything else. I can't ever remember being looked at as anything less than my counterparts simply because I'm fat. I have high self esteem; I refuse not to. I've seen other overweight women berate themselves and shrink away when they should stand their ground. It's as if they think that they deserve to be treated differently than everybody else so they accept it. I don't know how to explain it because I've never felt that feeling, but I recognize it when I see it. It makes me so mad! The little chubby mousy girl who doesn't dress well or put on makeup or fix her hair; it's like she gets up in the morning and says to herself, what's the point? I wish I could give those girls some of my energy, whatever it is that makes me refuse to do that. I hope I'm not offending anybody by trying to express myself and I may not be making my point as eloquently as some others here do, but basically, what I'm trying to say is that you get treated the way you allow yourself to be treated.

Green, Yes, they're those little dangly things that just happen and don't seem to have any feeling. I have two under my left arm and I'm tempted to have them removed. My sister cuts hers off with fingernail clippers. I just can't bring myself to do it. I just can't... Should have asked Dr. Hollis to do it when I was under. Ah well...

The sad thing about Michael Vick is that he is will be back dancing in eht end zone on Monday Night Football football next year, if not sooner. The NFL made a lot of noise about this because of all of the bad press their gangsta superstars are getting lately. They made a bigger issue out of the dog fighting than they did about the permanently paralized bouncer in Vegas. I'd be really surprised if they actually banned any of them for life.

Thanks green! I'll be seeing you around, I'm sure. Elaine

I will get some tomorrow! I can't STAND sweet stuff and that vanilla whey Protein almost makes me gag. I've tried everything. Being able to add it to everything will make like so much simpler! Thank you!!! Elaine

It's now day 9 and I feel worlds better! I'm hungry now though. The creamy liquids are more satisfying but don't stay with me long. I've read through several other threads about that and it appears that others don't limit themselves to the portions. I've only been doing about six oz at a time but others are consuming as much as they want. I'm not sure what the right thing to do is... Cream of chicken and Herb Soup is the best so far. My daughter just brought me some broccoli & cheese soup that I'm sure will be very satisfactory! Most of my discomfort is gone, I'm sleeping on my stomach already, and I'm enjoying this three day weekend of rest. Hope I can stick to liquids a whole 'nother week! Elaine

I absolutely agree with Zannie doing everything in her power to save her marriage. Nobody knows better than I the despair of losing the man you love to another woman, be she a whore, a screaming bitch, or a mother with 4 kids who changed her mind and wants her husband back (as was my case). My point was that in the 9 months of heartbreak and despair it took me to get over being left for another woman, I had many moments of selfish spiteful get-even-pleasure plotting my revenge against the screaming bitch he left me for. I never acted out on any of them, for I, too, always choose the high road. But never underestimate the healing power of knowing that you could, if you wanted to, cause disruption and chaos if you really wanted to. I have and always will refer to the other woman as the "screaming bitch" even though the rational part of me knows that she is much more than that. I choose to hate her; it makes me feel better. She is the enemy. To this day, she has screaming fits every time someone mentions my name in her presence. She is persona non grata with mutual friends, they prefer me to her and I get immense childish immature pleasure from it. But at the end of the day, he chose her and the kids over me. Let me clarify that I was not then nor will I ever be the other woman in that relationship. They had been separated for months when we got together. She was relentless and never gave us a moment's peace and in the end, he went home. Her main problem was that it was ME, someone she has always felt threatened by because he told her once that he has been in love with me since we were teenagers and I never gave him the time of day. Then when they broke up, we got together and she went balistic and began her campaign to get him back. I will never again underestimate the power a woman has to manipulate a man. I've seen it first hand. The "whore" is obviously unbalanced and I believe that in the end, Zannie's husband will reach his breaking point and be done with her. My advice to Zannie is to stick with what she's doing; be rational, set boundaries, don't wheedle, whine, threaten, cry, beg, or bargain. Showing him that she is still his best friend will have far more lasting impact than the whore bringing her estranged husband to beat up the brother in law did. And I still think the restraining order is a splendid idea. I will now bow out of this thread; just wanted to put my two cents in... Elaine

I am now on day 8 post surgery and I am feeling a lot better. Still tire out by the end of the day, but I feel a helluva lot better than I did last week! Today was the first day I really got hungry. Had some mashed potatoes, some cream soup, a popsicle and a Jello, all sugar free of course. Oh and I had the dreaded shake this morning. My sister went to GNC and got me one of the Protein drinks, I forget the name, but I'll be having that this evening. The soup was great. Can't believe Im here talking about eating! Wow... what a change. I should be at some bar somewhere drinking and smoking and flirting! WOW! Can't wait to get back out there and show off the new me! Elaine

Hi everybody, I'm new here. Just banded on 8/24 and still adjusting to the changes happening and those to come. I've been exploring this forum and found myself here this morning. I took my time and read all of the posts related to Zannie's happenings and I must say, I am amazed that there are others (especially you green) who think like me. I've never been married; been the other woman a time or two (ok..or three or four...), has some crazy romances, good and bad, and haved't given much thought to being cheated on until last year. My ex (a friend since 7th grade who finally left his wife and I finally said yes) cheated with his ex after a year of living together and left me to go back to the screaming bitch "for the kids". Right. Anyway, I just had to chime in and say I perfectly understand Zannie wanting to save her marriage. I understand forgiving the cheater. I don't agree with him still being in contact with the "whore", as she has been tagged, but I do understand the concept of it not being the end of the world to be cheated on. I know couples who have come out of it stronger and more committed to each other than ever. I do think that Zannie should plot her revenge, because no matter what anybody says, there really is nothing sweeter. I have mastered the art of getting even and am a firm believer in the saying, "revenge, my dear, is a dish best served cold". Let them think you're over it. Let them get on with their lives thinking they've gotten the best of you and then WHAM! right when they least expect it, something that only you can do. For Lannie, she should start with the restraining order. As for the laptop going on vacation, I'd hide the power cord as soon as we got there. Put it in the vacuum cleaner bag. Wish I could have told her before she left! Looking forward to getting to know you all. I have stories for days. I like knowing that the support is here, but to tell the truth, I don't want to obsess about this band thing and let it become my life. I want it to be the thing that opens the doors to new things IN my life... Life for me is never dull, even at a solid 304 lbs. (294 on day of surgery!) Men, sex, fun, excitement, I have all of that, I just wanted to do this for me. Ok...yeah, I want better men, better sex, better fun and better excitement! Sorry... This is about Zannie. Can't wait til she gets back!This is good stuff...! Elaine

Hey....my ticker didn't work!

No shoulder pain today... just tired. I feel for you being a teacher! Two of my best friends are teachers. Going through summer withdrawals! I think it's funny. I have to work all year long; they're not getting any sympathy out of me! I finally broke down and made my protein shake. I just wanna go home and lay down!

I'm still here... came back to work Wednesday and it was awful. I left at 3:00 and went home and crashed. Lortab to the rescue. Yesterday was better but had to go to a funeral so didn't get home til 9:00. Gas pains in shoulder were hard but I dosed myself, had a popsicle and went to bed. I'm really tired today. Still not hungry but getting a headache so I'm going to have a shake in a bit. Had some skim milk this morning, water, and nothing else yet. Still a little bloated but a lot of the swelling has gone down. Was looking at before and after photos which made me feel better. I'm just really tired today. Work is quiet; only have a few things to finish up. Looking forward to a long restful weekend! Next weekend we are going out of town for a dollmaking class and a night in the hill country for my sister's birthday.

Centrum chewables (orange) and a Calcium chewable that's like little caramels. They're both good! The bloating I had has subsided a lot. I'm getting mild burp pains, but other than that, I'm good. I feel so much better today! I still feel the gas moving around but the shoulder pain is gone. I can lay on my sides now without feeling any pain. I'm usually a fast healer... I'm going to try to stick to the liquids for two weeks and then go to mushy stage. My sister was in the mushy stage after a few days but I want to do what my doc says. I need to get the Protein for sure because I don't want my hair to start falling out! The broths are soothing and satisfy me for now so I'm going to keep drinking them. And I'll force myself to have the Protein shakes. UGH! I'm going to get them over with first thing in the morning. Oh well! I'm going to do whatever it takes to make this work! Elaine

Thanks! I'll try. I'm loving the broths right now. My sister got her band in April and she kept telling me how nasty the broths were but I love them! Much better than the sweet stuff!