Folly

I want to bring you a cup of tea and have a long, motherly, informative talk with you... just as soon as I can do so with a straight face.
(Omg! LMAO!)

The studies are depressing but people are looking at this as a physiological issue without really understanding that the rate of relapse from ANY recovery from addiction/addictive behavior is extremely high. We are not exempt from having to find our way out of those things that brought us to needing WLS any more than any other addict must to assure lifelong health and recovery.
I stopped reading them when I hit my statistical "plateau" a few months ago. I find it sobering and helpful to understand that WLS isn't a cure but one of the tools we employ but I also find it very discouraging to dwell on the probably of relapse/regain. I know the probability is high, I am an addict however, I am not a f**cking statistic. I have a say in what happens to me now and every day for the rest of my life. Staying the course seems to be my main tool. When I "mess up" (not doing what I believe is correct - not always food related) I acknowledge it, make a course correction and let it go.
AWESOME THREAD!

Most people here are pretty nice MOST of the time. It seems like it truly was meant to be a light-hearted semi-humorous thread about grammar.
yall need to stop taking urselves so seriously cuz it starting to be a big ol buzz kill and I hate it when I have to deal with buzz killers it ruins my day and affects my mood I don't mind having to give my mental muscles a little bit of a workout to understand someone because we can learn from anyone if we are openminded and a lot of inccorectly written ideas have still had the power to inspire even though I have pet peeves about people mixing words that sound alike such as your and youre and theyre their and there and also this post didn't have a heading that said it was mandatory to read or respond to it so if you don't like it do what so many have suggested the original poster do and just move on to something you do want to read the main thing is that we all are kind and respectful to each other because without respect there can be no real communication
PS: It didn't occur to me the original post was in judgment of people or their intelligence, only their grammar. It didn't seem at all mean or ugly in any way.

if you really want to take a good before pic just smile. You're lovely :-)

Wow, being mean to people who acknowledge it isn't all sunshine and lollipops for them is a little f***ed up! It's a daily struggle to get to a place of comfort with the changes. Please reach out to people who will give you some understanding and ignore those who are being hateful or self-righteous. Your choices maybe could improve but it seems your a little lost with it right now. If I can help in any way please let me know.
Peace

@@freshair
I'm not making assumtions about who has bigger issues. And we're not discussing other people, we're discussing the portrayal, exploitation and normalization of morbid obesity. If you want to discuss other exploited people like Kate + 8 I' m not interested at this time.
As a nurse for over 20 years and someone who has worked in hospice, domestic violence and with disenfranchised people I can honestly say that intellectually I accept the probability that obesity occurs with no underlying addiction or destructive emotional or psycological issue but in reality I have NEVER seen it. I have never met anyone who was more than 100 lbs overweight that did not have underlying issues with food addiction stemming from other emotional and psycological problems. Not ever. Not once. You must be the exception.
Peace

I've finally reached a point where this is on auto-pilot and I'm not really all that worried about weight loss/gain anymore. I had a few stalls but fortunately no weight gains that were significant (I have a 2-3 lb gain and loss every month as I ride the hormonal broomstick).
I got on a scale this morning and was shocked to discover I've dropped more weight. I sort of thought I was maintaining. :-)
Life is different. Life is good.

Wow, being mean to people who acknowledge it isn't all sunshine and lollipops for them is a little f***ed up! It's a daily struggle to get to a place of comfort with the changes. Please reach out to people who will give you some understanding and ignore those who are being hateful or self-righteous. Your choices maybe could improve but it seems your a little lost with it right now. If I can help in any way please let me know.
Peace

@@gowalking
This is an excellent topic!
I don't like people knowing I had WLS because of the perception that I did it the "easy" way. The perception this is some magic cure is a disservice and most will never have to know the tragic upsets that happen internally that bring a person to needing WLS in the first place or the hard work it continues to be to regain your life and health after the fact.
I used to be, between marriages, one of those women who dated men with fetishes for ssbbw. It was all based on appearance. All form and no substance - I could have been a blow up doll. I didn't even know that I was being objectified and definitely not at all cared about until someone came along and was different (yes, I married him. I'm not a fool :-) )
These people living that life are often making the best of the only life they know or the only life they think they deserve. Pity them but shame on the sleazy profiteers who aggrandize and normalize dysfunction and self-abuse.

I've finally reached a point where this is on auto-pilot and I'm not really all that worried about weight loss/gain anymore. I had a few stalls but fortunately no weight gains that were significant (I have a 2-3 lb gain and loss every month as I ride the hormonal broomstick).
I got on a scale this morning and was shocked to discover I've dropped more weight. I sort of thought I was maintaining. :-)
Life is different. Life is good.

I've finally reached a point where this is on auto-pilot and I'm not really all that worried about weight loss/gain anymore. I had a few stalls but fortunately no weight gains that were significant (I have a 2-3 lb gain and loss every month as I ride the hormonal broomstick).
I got on a scale this morning and was shocked to discover I've dropped more weight. I sort of thought I was maintaining. :-)
Life is different. Life is good.

I almost always have boiled eggs, low fat string cheese, cherry tomatoes, cut up veggies and grapes in the fridge. In a hurry I can put handfuls of stuff in Ziploc bags and be on my way. I'm usually home at lunch time. Being a grazer, I have a place in the fridge of the stuff I can graze on whenever I want through the day - the desire to do this has decreased dramatically over time. I re-stock it before I go to bed every night for the next day with cut up veggies, fruit and sugar free Gelatin.

Reading everything written here makes me feel proud of all of you... and humbled. I'm so glad we have a place to talk about these things without people taking pot shots at us. :-)

I'm so sorry you're having difficulties. BED sounds like a big, scary label to hang around your neck. You're not alone. Most people who have long-term issues with obesity that brings them to WLS could be or have been diagnosed with an eating disorder. We don't get here because we have healthy relationships with food or our bodies.
It seems like you're a little trapped in the obsession/compulsion aspect of it right now.
There's nothing to feel guilty about. Please don't beat yourself up over this. I think it might be helpful to look for some emotional support from loved ones, 12-step group or maybe people with whom you share spiritual beliefs. I hope you aren't feeling isolated and ashamed. I would disbelieve most accounts people give of their experience with this journey if they denied having to confront their addiction, more than once, before and after surgery. I haven't lately but it's there waiting for me if...
If I knew you and your issues my desire to "mommy" everyone around me would kick in (another of my unresolved issues...lol) and I'd try to help. I wish I had some magic words for you. All I can tell you for sure is you ARE NOT ALONE. This isn't uncommon and doesn't have to define the rest of your journey.
The self-sabotaging component of BED thinking is going to be whispering in your ear that you might as well give up, may as well go off the deep end since you already stopped being perfect etc. My guess is you're already dealing with feelings of shame and failure. Here's the part you should know: THAT'S ALL BULLS**T!
This can be ok. This is resolvable. You have nothing to feel bad about. Most of us have been there whether we admit it or not. Perfection isn't attainable for any of us but success is. Relax, by naming it and talking about it you're already closer to figuring out what works for you. GOOD JOB!
If I can be helpful please reach out to me. In fact, most here would be good to talk to.
HUGS

Wow, being mean to people who acknowledge it isn't all sunshine and lollipops for them is a little f***ed up! It's a daily struggle to get to a place of comfort with the changes. Please reach out to people who will give you some understanding and ignore those who are being hateful or self-righteous. Your choices maybe could improve but it seems your a little lost with it right now. If I can help in any way please let me know.
Peace

I don't always tell people I've had WLS. I have used it as an excuse with family. (In other situations I just identify an ingredient the offending food surely contains and claim I have an intolerance or allergy to it")

I'm so sorry you're having difficulties. BED sounds like a big, scary label to hang around your neck. You're not alone. Most people who have long-term issues with obesity that brings them to WLS could be or have been diagnosed with an eating disorder. We don't get here because we have healthy relationships with food or our bodies.
It seems like you're a little trapped in the obsession/compulsion aspect of it right now.
There's nothing to feel guilty about. Please don't beat yourself up over this. I think it might be helpful to look for some emotional support from loved ones, 12-step group or maybe people with whom you share spiritual beliefs. I hope you aren't feeling isolated and ashamed. I would disbelieve most accounts people give of their experience with this journey if they denied having to confront their addiction, more than once, before and after surgery. I haven't lately but it's there waiting for me if...
If I knew you and your issues my desire to "mommy" everyone around me would kick in (another of my unresolved issues...lol) and I'd try to help. I wish I had some magic words for you. All I can tell you for sure is you ARE NOT ALONE. This isn't uncommon and doesn't have to define the rest of your journey.
The self-sabotaging component of BED thinking is going to be whispering in your ear that you might as well give up, may as well go off the deep end since you already stopped being perfect etc. My guess is you're already dealing with feelings of shame and failure. Here's the part you should know: THAT'S ALL BULLS**T!
This can be ok. This is resolvable. You have nothing to feel bad about. Most of us have been there whether we admit it or not. Perfection isn't attainable for any of us but success is. Relax, by naming it and talking about it you're already closer to figuring out what works for you. GOOD JOB!
If I can be helpful please reach out to me. In fact, most here would be good to talk to.
HUGS

I started out wearing size 36 - I still have one pair of pants in that size. I used to put them on about once a week and run to the mirror just to see. Wearing size 16/18 these days, which isn't really all that small but I can buy clothes in a regular store now - big milestone for me. Nothing fits for long. Funny part is that my feet even shrunk. Isn't it kind of awesome to always have wardrobe issues because your clothes are just too big?

Wow, being mean to people who acknowledge it isn't all sunshine and lollipops for them is a little f***ed up! It's a daily struggle to get to a place of comfort with the changes. Please reach out to people who will give you some understanding and ignore those who are being hateful or self-righteous. Your choices maybe could improve but it seems your a little lost with it right now. If I can help in any way please let me know.
Peace

I'm so sorry you're having difficulties. BED sounds like a big, scary label to hang around your neck. You're not alone. Most people who have long-term issues with obesity that brings them to WLS could be or have been diagnosed with an eating disorder. We don't get here because we have healthy relationships with food or our bodies.
It seems like you're a little trapped in the obsession/compulsion aspect of it right now.
There's nothing to feel guilty about. Please don't beat yourself up over this. I think it might be helpful to look for some emotional support from loved ones, 12-step group or maybe people with whom you share spiritual beliefs. I hope you aren't feeling isolated and ashamed. I would disbelieve most accounts people give of their experience with this journey if they denied having to confront their addiction, more than once, before and after surgery. I haven't lately but it's there waiting for me if...
If I knew you and your issues my desire to "mommy" everyone around me would kick in (another of my unresolved issues...lol) and I'd try to help. I wish I had some magic words for you. All I can tell you for sure is you ARE NOT ALONE. This isn't uncommon and doesn't have to define the rest of your journey.
The self-sabotaging component of BED thinking is going to be whispering in your ear that you might as well give up, may as well go off the deep end since you already stopped being perfect etc. My guess is you're already dealing with feelings of shame and failure. Here's the part you should know: THAT'S ALL BULLS**T!
This can be ok. This is resolvable. You have nothing to feel bad about. Most of us have been there whether we admit it or not. Perfection isn't attainable for any of us but success is. Relax, by naming it and talking about it you're already closer to figuring out what works for you. GOOD JOB!
If I can be helpful please reach out to me. In fact, most here would be good to talk to.
HUGS

Reading everything written here makes me feel proud of all of you... and humbled. I'm so glad we have a place to talk about these things without people taking pot shots at us. :-)

I don't really consider any of my food choices "cheating". I still track everything I put in my mouth. I know what I need. It might help to think of your calorie goal as a budget. With my budget I have to buy so much Protein, so much Fiber, so much Calcium, so much (healthy) fat, etc... If I get everything I need and want something indulgent AND have enough left over I go ahead. Otherwise I have to do it another day. It works out that I can have a bite of anything I want but beyond that it has to be paid for... we all learn different ways of coping with the monster. That's one of mine.

Most people here are pretty nice MOST of the time. It seems like it truly was meant to be a light-hearted semi-humorous thread about grammar.
yall need to stop taking urselves so seriously cuz it starting to be a big ol buzz kill and I hate it when I have to deal with buzz killers it ruins my day and affects my mood I don't mind having to give my mental muscles a little bit of a workout to understand someone because we can learn from anyone if we are openminded and a lot of inccorectly written ideas have still had the power to inspire even though I have pet peeves about people mixing words that sound alike such as your and youre and theyre their and there and also this post didn't have a heading that said it was mandatory to read or respond to it so if you don't like it do what so many have suggested the original poster do and just move on to something you do want to read the main thing is that we all are kind and respectful to each other because without respect there can be no real communication
PS: It didn't occur to me the original post was in judgment of people or their intelligence, only their grammar. It didn't seem at all mean or ugly in any way.

I went to nutrition classes (mandatory for my surgery to be approved) with a nice young women who was at a similar weight and size to me. She was so pretty, smart, vivacious... I liked her a lot. Not long after surgery she went to a fast food chicken place and ruptured her sleeve eating mashed potatoes and gravy. She didn't seek help (shame? denial?) for over 24 hours. Well, someone sought help for her. She was found unconscious. I didn't go to her funeral.
I sometimes say pretty stern things to people when they talk about NOT following medical advice. I would rather hurt your feelings than read your obituary.
I'm just saying...
Peace

@@gabito
LOL... I don't know if "controlled" is the word I would use. I think it's more accurate to think of it as a truce. The way I deal with it now wouldn't have worked in the beginning or even a year ago. It may become problematic in the future - my crystal ball broke and my husband won't buy me a new one so I really don't know. For now it works because I can stay on track and make good choices. My food issues come up when I obsess about what I MUST NOT or CANNOT have. They also come up when I'm not OK emotionally. food isn't my real enemy, it never was. Food/BED was a symptom of my inability to cope or be real with myself and others. If I'm ok emotionally food is a non-issue most of the time. The road to getting to this place was painful but worth it.