While most of us knew all about the physical side of Weight Loss Surgery, many people have no idea about the emotional ride they're about to face. This article discusses all aspects of the "emotional roller coaster" from the moment you first decide on having bariatric surgery all the way up to the maintenance phase of your weight loss. It's a wild ride baby!
When was the last time you were on a roller coaster? If you’re like me, it’s been a while. In fact, the last time I was on a roller coaster I was 310 lbs and could barely fit into the seat. The restraint almost didn't go around my tummy. I was squeezed in like Cinderella’s step-sister’s foot must have tried to squeeze into that tiny shoe. Yep. I was Drizella’s foot and the coaster seat was the glass slipper. I’m sure it was a comical, if not sad and pathetic site, for those around me. It was embarrassing to me, to say the very least. But I laughed it off and went on, as I tended to do.
That roller coaster was a wild ride. It had huge climbs, steep drops, loop-de-loops, sharp turns, and at one point it feels like you’re lying on your side. Honestly, it’s a wonder I stayed in the coaster even with the restraint!! The end of the ride was abrupt - it felt like my insides were coming out of my mouth when it stopped short back at the beginning of the track. When it was over, I felt accomplished, in a way. I’d survived that coaster ride, wild and uncomfortable as it was.
Many people don’t realize that life before, during, and after weight loss surgery becomes a roller-coaster ride of it’s own. It has the huge climbs of elation and joy and excitement, the steep drops into anxiety and depression, and the loop-de-loops, sharp turns, and lying on your side moments of uncertainty, worry, and fear. Here are some of the emotional dealings that will occur before, during, and after surgery that you might not know.
1. Pre-Surgery Elation. This happens when you are finally approved for surgery. It’s going to be a reality! You are going to get a brand new lease on life! The period of life where you are having to go through diet after diet is finally coming to an end! You might tell everyone you know or you might decide to keep your secret to yourself. Regardless, you are excited and ready to go!
2. Pre-Surgery Blues. This is when you realize that you are going to have to say good-bye to one of your best friends ... food. You come to the realization that there are some favorites that you are just not going to be able to eat anymore. Depression sets in slightly, and you might even go on a food bender - similar to what an addict might do. At this point you might even question your decision to go through surgery.
3. Day of Surgery. You’re going to be going through a myriad of emotions during this time. You’ll feel excitement, anxiety, apprehension, and impatience all at the same time. You’ll be worried because, after all, it is a major surgery you’re about to go through. But at the same time, you’ll be excited at what’s about to happen. When you wake up from anesthesia, you might be scared, especially if you’re having a rough transition out of anesthesia. You might be a little confused, wondering where you are. When your body settles down a bit and you remember where you are and what just happened, you might feel a little concerned. "Did everything go okay?" "Is this going to work?" "Did I just make the biggest mistake in my life?" On the other hand, you might wake up beautifully, singing the praises of your surgeon and his/her team, excited to begin your new life. These feelings and emotions will likely cycle throughout the day as you’re getting used to the idea of what just happened and your body relaxes and comes out of shock from surgery.
4. Going Home. When you’re finally released to go home, you’ll either be excited or scared. Thoughts might rush your brain like “will I be able to do this on my own?” and anxiety might set in again. You might, again, question your decision to undergo surgery, especially once the monotony of the liquid diet phases set in. The first few days might be easy, and the next might be excruciating. You’ll be in some discomfort because of incisions and if the surgeon inflated your abdomen with gas prior to surgery (commonly done in laparoscopic surgeries), and this might heighten your doubts and anxieties. You might begin to worry about issues such as leaks, slippage, or staples coming loose.
5.The first few months. You will be going through a mourning period at some point, and for some that occurs during the first few months after surgery. You no longer are able to lean on food for emotional support, so you might feel sad. You might even go through a type of “withdraw” from food, similar to what an addict might be going through their first few days in rehab. You’ll be able to eat more some days than others, and that will lead you to worry if your surgery is working or if there’s something wrong. Some days you’ll be jealous of watching everyone around you eat foods that you once loved. Others, you’ll be glad you can’t/don’t eat those things anymore. By the time you've finished all of your phases and are on to real food, you’ll be relieved and excited, and likely worried and anxious as well. Whereas before, you were relying on liquids for sustenance, now you’re on your own and have to rely on figuring your food choices out for yourself.
6. The losing phase. From the moment you leave the hospital until you reach your goal you are considered to be in the losing phase of surgery. For the purposes of this article, we’re going to call the losing phase the time period from month 3 (about the time you transition into full solids) to the point where you reach your goal. There will be many frustrations, joys, and concerns in the months ahead. Some days you’ll forget everything you were taught about nutrition and make yourself sick on something you shouldn't have eaten. Other days you’ll be 100% on track. You’ll have moments of pride and joy, and moments of shame and weakness. You’ll revel in finding out you can eat something as simple as asparagus and despair over not being able to eat rice pilaf. You’ll finally reach your “groove” point sometime during month four or five, and things begin to go well. You’ll reach a stall or two (or five ...) and wonder if you’re doing something wrong or if you've messed up your new tummy. You’ll marvel over losing 10 lbs in one week. You’ll wonder why you only lost 2 lbs the next week. When your loss starts to slow down, you’ll worry that you’re not exercising enough, that you’re eating too much or too little, or worry that your surgery is beginning to fail. You’ll relax more when you are consistently losing, even if it has gone down to 1-2 lbs a week.
7. The maintenance phase. When you reach your goal weight, you will have reached what is called “maintenance”. This is the final stage that you will likely be in for the rest of your life. Here, you will change your diet slightly in order to not lose or gain any more weight. You will get frustrated a time or two - especially the first time you gain a few pounds. You will marvel at what you've lost, but are concerned with the way your body looks now. You will have loose skin, which may cause body image issues. If you’re single, you might notice more possible suitors paying more attention to you. You might fall from one addiction (food) into another (sex). You might also be tempted into other addictive substances or habits such as alcohol, cigarettes, shopping, or pornography. Alternatively, you may look back at your loss, as meaningful and inspirational. You might revel in the way your life has changed and be happier than you have ever been and be ready to branch out and help others succeed in their bariatric surgery journeys.
Tips on Riding the Roller Coaster
Knowing that these emotions are possible doesn't mean they will happen for everyone, and doesn't mean you can’t get through them. The following tips will help you stay on the road to success and prevent you from falling off the wagon and into an abyss of self-doubt and depression:
1. Support. This is the number one most important thing for WLS patients. Even more important than food is support. Support can be found at home, through friends and family, in a hospital or surgery center support group, or even online forums such as Bariatric Pal.
2. Stick to the plan. As tempting as it might be to veer off and eat something you’re not supposed to, stick with your doctor or nutritionist’s eating plan as closely as possible. This will ensure that you continue to lose steadily, decrease the length and amount of stalls you’ll experience, and will speed up the healing process.
3. Vitamins.< /strong> It sounds very cliche, but remember to take your vitamins! Focus on Iron and B Complex vitamins especially.A Vitamin deficiency can result in depression, physical weakness, and poor sleep habits.
4. Speaking of sleep ... Make sure you’re getting plenty of it! At least 8 hours a day for an adult! Lack of sleep can lead to fatigue, weight gain, and (you guessed it!) depression!
5. Remember that “this too shall pass” ... These stages of emotional turmoil certainly won’t last forever. You’ll get over them as quickly as they overcame you. And keep in mind that each stage after surgery only lasts a short time in the grand scheme of things. Most eating phases last, at most, a month. After which you’re on to the next phase.
6. Keep a plan handy. Know that you will likely feel some unpleasant emotions or feelings and plan for them. Know what you’re going to do when you get upset, depressed, feel head hunger, or even feel physical pain from surgery. Have a list of friends to call at the drop of a hat, have a bottle of Water ready to sip on at all times, or have your doctor’s phone number on speed dial. Know that these feelings will likely happen at some point in time, and be ready to deal with them when they do.
7. Remember that everything you’re going through is completely normal and OKAY. It’s important and helpful to know that everyone goes through a stall at some point. Everyone has pain during the first couple of weeks after surgery. Everyone eats something they shouldn't at some point. Whatever it is you’re going through - someone else has likely gone through it!
8. Finally, DON’T GIVE UP! Remember that this is a journey. As the old saying goes, “It’s a marathon, not a sprint.” There will be ups and downs on this wild roller-coaster ride. There will be twists and turns and loop-de-loops and there will be many moments when you feel like you’re laying over on your side. But, in the end, it will all be worth it. Your health, your life, and YOU ARE WORTH IT!!
Honey g, You are soooo right, Feb will be here in no time. My doctor is Dr H. Kikkalaya, he is out of Memorial Hospital Salem NJ. I found this awesome blog and youtube series called 7 bites it's a Mother-Daughter that have both had the VSG and they wanted to help those that are either thinking about or going to have the VSG with ways to go from liquid to soft to regular foods and how to make it better. the address to check it out http://7bitesshow.blogspot.com/2013/10/episode-1-preventing-yuck-in-cup.html
I have found the more I read and research the more questions I keep coming up with, how about you? Is your family being supportive of your journey? I have read that there are pre-op sleevers that are mourning that tommorow is thier last Thanksgiving. I don't feel that way at all. I am looking forward to coming up with a healthier holiday.
Have a Happy Thanksgiving
Rosemary
Rec'd my insurance approval today in the mail so its a go for 2/24/14!!!! I just can't believe how fast it's coming. Wishing all my fellow Feb. Sleevers all the best during and after surgery.
Rec'd my insurance approval today in the mail so its a go for 2/24/14!!!! I just can't believe how fast it's coming. Wishing all my fellow Feb. Sleevers all the best during and after surgery.
I used two can of refried Beans, one cooked chicken breast, a half of a small onion, and a quarter cup of fat free cheese. I am on puréed so after I cooked the chicken I cut the meat in smaller pieces and put it in my food processor with the onions and some hot sauce or you could use salsa. After the chicken was cut up in the processor, I added it to the refried beans and cheese in a sauce pan and warmed all of it up. Once warmed I used my food scale and put 2 ounces of food in each paper cupcake mold and froze overnight. The next morning I put them in a freezer bag. They peel off if the paper easily. I have been topping with plain Greek yogurt, a sprinkle of fat free cheese and hot sauce. I think it tastes great and did not take long.
Hi Honey g,
I'm scheduled for Feb.24 th. You're the first person I've heard that's scheduled in 2014. Who is your surgeon and which procedure are you having? I'm going with the VSG.
Made these for dinner tonight- 1 was more than enough for me (plus salad). The other adults in my family each ate 2. We all voted this is a definite do again!!!! Portion controlled.
Lasagna Cupcakes
2 cup marinara sauce (I just used 1 jar)
3/4 pound ground beef or turkey
24 wonton wrappers
8 ounces shredded mozzarella
3 ounces Parmesan cheese
4 ounces Ricotta cheese
(optional) basil for garnish
Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Spray muffin tin (12) with cooking spray.
Brown beef and season with salt and pepper. Drain. Add sauce. Mix.
Begin with a wonton wrapper and press it into the bottom of each muffin tin.
Spread with a small spoonful of Ricotta cheese.
Top with a little meat sauce then some parmesan and mozzarella.
Use around 2 teaspoons of all the ingredients depending on your personal preference.
Repeat layers ending with cheese.
Bake for 18-20 minutes or until edges are brown. Remove from oven and let cool for 5 minutes. To remove use a knife to loosen the edges then pop each lasagna out. Garnish with basil (if desired) and serve.
Hi everyone!!! I am so glad this thread was started! I am a 31 year old married mother to two miracle boys. I have struggled with my weight my whole life and finally decided a few months ago that if I kept things up I was never going to enjoy my kids, see them grow, and I was setting a horrible example for them. This decision brought me to the VSG. I saw my surgeon, Dr Schneider, in Boston, MA yesterday and was cleared for surgery. Surgery date is 2/24. I need to lose at least 10 lbs before then, and pre-op diet starts two weeks prior. I am excited and nervous! 2 months and counting! I see we have the same date rpcamper!
Hi Everyone
I am new here. I am Pre-Op and I started my journey just about 2 mos ago. I went to see my PCP and told him I have had enough and that I wanted to meet to the Surgeon he had been telling me about for the last 2 yrs. Within less than 3 weeks I was meeting with the surgeon and his clinical staff. I had done a lot of research on the VSG the internet and had read the book "Everything Post Weight Loss Surgery". Side not alot of good information, I am now reading "The Big Book on Gastric Sleeve" ... Everything you need to know to lose weight and live well with the VSG. It contains information for making the descission, pre-op, post-op and even receipes. I have completed about 50% of my surgeon and insurance's requirements. I feel every time I come out of a nutrition class or seminar I find something new, even if it's just a little bit of information I didn't have previously,
I want to wish everyone a successful journey to a healthy new you. I really am looking forward to the day can do something I haven't been able to do in 30+ years, (ie, go on a roller coaster, horse back ride and most of all fly on a plane and not feel embarasses that my butt doesn't fit in the seat and that I had to ask for an extention for the seat belt) and most of all taking a walk without becoming short of breath.
Well now that I have chewed off your ears, I will bid you a good evening and hope to talk to you soon,
I have to use kale in mine because I'm allergic to spinach. I also by the bags of frozen mixed fruit and it comes out ice cold. The big thing post op will be Protein. So I add Protein Powder to mine to make it complete nutritionally.
Baby kale, spinach, strawberries and blueberries, sometimes I add a chunk of cucumber if I have it - yum! But it has to be baby kale for me, for some reason it tastes like spring. Regular "grown up" kale is too bitter for me.
I made this over the weekend. I used to have it all the time on Weight Watchers. I love it this time of the year.
pumpkin Mousse
1 15oz. Can pumpkin
1 ¾ cup skim milk
2 1oz. boxes Sugar Free/ Fat Free Instant vanilla pudding
1 tsp. Pumpkin Pie spice
2 cups Cool Whip Free
( You could add vanilla Protein powder or unflavored to boost the Protein. I did not have any)
Mix Milk, Pumpkin & Spice together until smooth.
Add pudding and mix until smooth.
Fold in the Cool Whip
Chill for a few hours , Serve. I sprinkled a little more spice on top and a small bit of cool whip.
8 Servings
Calories: 93
Fat: <1gm
Protein: 4gm
Carbs: 18
Fiber: 3 gm
I struggled with this but this week I said PUCK it and told folks at work. All were pretty receptive; however, at the end of the day I have to ask myself..why do I need to lie about this and why do I care what others think. That's their issue and their problem..not mine. and I must add when I shared..i felt extremely free if that makes sense...
rpcamper reacted to 7 Bites_Jen in Riding That Roller Coaster: The Emotional Side of Weight Loss Surgery You Might Not Expect
rpcamper got a reaction from covered jewels in Any February 2014 Sleevers?
rpcamper got a reaction from SuperFab in Any February 2014 Sleevers?
rpcamper got a reaction from ggdrop in Any February 2014 Sleevers?
rpcamper got a reaction from alejern84 in Any February 2014 Sleevers?
rpcamper got a reaction from VSG_me in 11 months post op! before and after
rpcamper got a reaction from Kristin1969 in Welcome
rpcamper got a reaction from longtimecoming7 in There's food on my Christmas tree!