teacherlady2133

I can say I like this thread. Not only on the fact of hearing what others think, but it makes me self reflect why I chose to tell or not tell. It is easy to blame others and people around me why I did or didn't tell but the truth is it was about me. It was about the shame not so much of having the surgery but needing the surgery. That is a personal issue of my own guilt.
I think we have to remember just like other things shouldn't define us WLS shouldn't either.
I an not a WLS person but a person who had WLS. That is only part of my life. I have other characters, qualities and traits. This world loves to label people and try to define others by these labels.
I still do not see a problem with saying I changed from diet and exercise first! Those changes were harder than the surgery. I want credit for the hard work I do everyday.
I do not condone people tricking others into believing something that isn't true, but I have always believed what and where people take the truth is on them. It isn't my job to control other peoples thoughts or ideas on a topic.
I think this topic does bring up a topic people don't want to talk about and that is "shame".
Where did it come from? How do each one of us react to it? Not just shame of surgery, but other choices we make too.

I loved what you said about it being "your story" I think many of us have had others around us tell "our story" and found out others versions can be hurtful.
I have even been threaten to tell my story or they will.(thinking they were helping and supporting a wonderful change in my life) that is the key my life.

I can say I like this thread. Not only on the fact of hearing what others think, but it makes me self reflect why I chose to tell or not tell. It is easy to blame others and people around me why I did or didn't tell but the truth is it was about me. It was about the shame not so much of having the surgery but needing the surgery. That is a personal issue of my own guilt.
I think we have to remember just like other things shouldn't define us WLS shouldn't either.
I an not a WLS person but a person who had WLS. That is only part of my life. I have other characters, qualities and traits. This world loves to label people and try to define others by these labels.
I still do not see a problem with saying I changed from diet and exercise first! Those changes were harder than the surgery. I want credit for the hard work I do everyday.
I do not condone people tricking others into believing something that isn't true, but I have always believed what and where people take the truth is on them. It isn't my job to control other peoples thoughts or ideas on a topic.
I think this topic does bring up a topic people don't want to talk about and that is "shame".
Where did it come from? How do each one of us react to it? Not just shame of surgery, but other choices we make too.

I can say I like this thread. Not only on the fact of hearing what others think, but it makes me self reflect why I chose to tell or not tell. It is easy to blame others and people around me why I did or didn't tell but the truth is it was about me. It was about the shame not so much of having the surgery but needing the surgery. That is a personal issue of my own guilt.
I think we have to remember just like other things shouldn't define us WLS shouldn't either.
I an not a WLS person but a person who had WLS. That is only part of my life. I have other characters, qualities and traits. This world loves to label people and try to define others by these labels.
I still do not see a problem with saying I changed from diet and exercise first! Those changes were harder than the surgery. I want credit for the hard work I do everyday.
I do not condone people tricking others into believing something that isn't true, but I have always believed what and where people take the truth is on them. It isn't my job to control other peoples thoughts or ideas on a topic.
I think this topic does bring up a topic people don't want to talk about and that is "shame".
Where did it come from? How do each one of us react to it? Not just shame of surgery, but other choices we make too.

Judging. Shaming. One-upping. Self-righteousness.
We all suffer from it.
It's a toughie.
Over the last 15 years, while caring for family members with health issues (like many of us have) and being caught up in some attendant family conflicts, I came to realize that no matter how anyone is acting or responding at the time, they are probably doing the very best they can manage right now. In the future, they might and probably will be able to do better.
That's probably true of each of us here, too.

I think that each person has many reasons for telling or not telling. I have told and been open about my gastric bypass, but to be honest it doesn't change the fear of being judged for my choices.
When people ask what I did or am doing to have my results, first I tell them about my diet and exercise then add in my tool info. Some people give strange looks like you believe what you want, but the surgery is why the weight is gone.
Should I care not really, but I do.
I worked hard before I had the surgery to lose 40 pounds with just diet and exercise and I still work hard just a different way. I still make good choices and limits and Portion Control is needed. Could I have done this without the surgery, I know I couldn't have! Am I blessed to have this chance to change my life, Yes!!! And I hold dear to that blessing!! Still I am always worried about the judgements others have... It does come from bring judged as heavy now judged in a different way.
Have never lied about my weight loss, but why I did it does changed with who I am talking too! If someone who is judging the issue, having to have another surgery and too heavy to have it comes up. If not a judgement then the personal reasons get shared.
One thing I have learned from
Being heavy is to protect myself from others! People can be mean. But they also can be trying to be supportive and just miss the mark.

I think that each person has many reasons for telling or not telling. I have told and been open about my gastric bypass, but to be honest it doesn't change the fear of being judged for my choices.
When people ask what I did or am doing to have my results, first I tell them about my diet and exercise then add in my tool info. Some people give strange looks like you believe what you want, but the surgery is why the weight is gone.
Should I care not really, but I do.
I worked hard before I had the surgery to lose 40 pounds with just diet and exercise and I still work hard just a different way. I still make good choices and limits and Portion Control is needed. Could I have done this without the surgery, I know I couldn't have! Am I blessed to have this chance to change my life, Yes!!! And I hold dear to that blessing!! Still I am always worried about the judgements others have... It does come from bring judged as heavy now judged in a different way.
Have never lied about my weight loss, but why I did it does changed with who I am talking too! If someone who is judging the issue, having to have another surgery and too heavy to have it comes up. If not a judgement then the personal reasons get shared.
One thing I have learned from
Being heavy is to protect myself from others! People can be mean. But they also can be trying to be supportive and just miss the mark.

I think that each person has many reasons for telling or not telling. I have told and been open about my gastric bypass, but to be honest it doesn't change the fear of being judged for my choices.
When people ask what I did or am doing to have my results, first I tell them about my diet and exercise then add in my tool info. Some people give strange looks like you believe what you want, but the surgery is why the weight is gone.
Should I care not really, but I do.
I worked hard before I had the surgery to lose 40 pounds with just diet and exercise and I still work hard just a different way. I still make good choices and limits and Portion Control is needed. Could I have done this without the surgery, I know I couldn't have! Am I blessed to have this chance to change my life, Yes!!! And I hold dear to that blessing!! Still I am always worried about the judgements others have... It does come from bring judged as heavy now judged in a different way.
Have never lied about my weight loss, but why I did it does changed with who I am talking too! If someone who is judging the issue, having to have another surgery and too heavy to have it comes up. If not a judgement then the personal reasons get shared.
One thing I have learned from
Being heavy is to protect myself from others! People can be mean. But they also can be trying to be supportive and just miss the mark.

I have my 6 month check up on Weds and will be interested to see what the labs say.
I think that some of the issues are the diet. My family is hooking it to the diet. I will be talking and they will ask what time did you eat last? Or when do you eat again? I think the shortness might be hooked to sugar levels.
I am not going to blame the whole thing on diet, I think that hormones play a big role too! 125 pounds gone in a year and 85 of that in 6 months released a huge amount of hormones in my body which have never worked correctly before.
I also think that for more than 30 years everyone and everything was more important than my own stuff. Being raised in a minister's home where everything was about serving others and others needs laid a foundation in my life that sort of got me to the place of weighing 350.
Now that I have chosen me first, my health first, and my own life as important. I think I have issues absorbing other peoples issues and how to cope with them.
I want to find a balance between the old me and the new me.
Maybe I do need to learn communication skills better. Or join some support groups.
I just know I don't want my mouth shooting off and having something ugly coming out even when it is the truth...

I am trying to schedule in the exercise I do feel better when I am moving. The sun is an idea too! I felt better during the summer. I am also done being a doormat!! Mainly tired of not being respected. I think for too many years I let others speak to me disrespectful because I didn't want to make a scene. Now I don't care if all eyes are on me. There is a new confidence when you feel like you are in control of yourself. I have proven to myself I can face my demons and win some big battles.

Dr appointment went good. Dr thinks moods and no patience is body telling me to feed it. He called me a snickers commercial. He said all labs were great and better than he thought, weight loss is 10-15 pounds ahead of game.
Next time I see my family Dr. I think I will have hormones levels checked but right now going to try to control it with more Protein and better eating schedule... And some of what all you said... Learn to love self and find balance with others...

On weds I will make sure to ask for hormone level checked too!
Yes being a teacher right now is very stressful and the demand is difficult. That could be playing into all of this too.
I did like the comments about obligation socializing... I would say that is a huge area I am having to deal with. Bring around people I really don't want to be around isn't happening very often or letting others make me feel like I should do things just because it is the right thing to do. I am finding my own place and who I want to be.
I can say I had a better day today and do believe food and Vitamins are playing apart in this... I think I have eaten enough Flintstones to get my levels back up again.
Hopefully we all find our balance and learn to be who we are no matter our sizes.

I have my 6 month check up on Weds and will be interested to see what the labs say.
I think that some of the issues are the diet. My family is hooking it to the diet. I will be talking and they will ask what time did you eat last? Or when do you eat again? I think the shortness might be hooked to sugar levels.
I am not going to blame the whole thing on diet, I think that hormones play a big role too! 125 pounds gone in a year and 85 of that in 6 months released a huge amount of hormones in my body which have never worked correctly before.
I also think that for more than 30 years everyone and everything was more important than my own stuff. Being raised in a minister's home where everything was about serving others and others needs laid a foundation in my life that sort of got me to the place of weighing 350.
Now that I have chosen me first, my health first, and my own life as important. I think I have issues absorbing other peoples issues and how to cope with them.
I want to find a balance between the old me and the new me.
Maybe I do need to learn communication skills better. Or join some support groups.
I just know I don't want my mouth shooting off and having something ugly coming out even when it is the truth...

Dr visit went great all labs were perfect. He said I was 10-15 pounds ahead of what he expected so that is even better news. He does want at least 20 mins of formal exercise 3-4 times weekly, not for weight loss but for strength and help with pain. He said pain is from body shifting from weight and nerve damage but hopefully might get better. I also loved his view point on the grouchiness, called me a snicker commercial.. And that is good thing... Body needs nutrition so feed it.. Good thing, not about comfort but about survival...pay attention to moods based on food... Might be new hunger clues. All in all happy Dr report!

Dr visit went great all labs were perfect. He said I was 10-15 pounds ahead of what he expected so that is even better news. He does want at least 20 mins of formal exercise 3-4 times weekly, not for weight loss but for strength and help with pain. He said pain is from body shifting from weight and nerve damage but hopefully might get better. I also loved his view point on the grouchiness, called me a snicker commercial.. And that is good thing... Body needs nutrition so feed it.. Good thing, not about comfort but about survival...pay attention to moods based on food... Might be new hunger clues. All in all happy Dr report!

Dr appointment went good. Dr thinks moods and no patience is body telling me to feed it. He called me a snickers commercial. He said all labs were great and better than he thought, weight loss is 10-15 pounds ahead of game.
Next time I see my family Dr. I think I will have hormones levels checked but right now going to try to control it with more Protein and better eating schedule... And some of what all you said... Learn to love self and find balance with others...

Dr appointment went good. Dr thinks moods and no patience is body telling me to feed it. He called me a snickers commercial. He said all labs were great and better than he thought, weight loss is 10-15 pounds ahead of game.
Next time I see my family Dr. I think I will have hormones levels checked but right now going to try to control it with more Protein and better eating schedule... And some of what all you said... Learn to love self and find balance with others...

Dr appointment went good. Dr thinks moods and no patience is body telling me to feed it. He called me a snickers commercial. He said all labs were great and better than he thought, weight loss is 10-15 pounds ahead of game.
Next time I see my family Dr. I think I will have hormones levels checked but right now going to try to control it with more Protein and better eating schedule... And some of what all you said... Learn to love self and find balance with others...

I am glad you commented, I have a friend who feels the same way you do. She is enjoying the new me and loves and laughs that I now have a voice. She also sees this as a NSV. She understands this is such an adjustment for me and change from not speaking up to always having something to say..
She does say it is very different to have me make comments on topics or to people who I would never of called out before.
To her this new voice is fun and enjoyable to get to know a different side of me. She doesn't think I am being rude or too harsh and others should deal with it. She believes others are taking it harsh or more shocking because I have never spoken up before, not how I am saying things just that I am addressing issues at all.
Instead of beating myself up over this change, I think I will learn to adjust to it. It will mellow out as you said and I will find a groove.

I have my 6 month check up on Weds and will be interested to see what the labs say.
I think that some of the issues are the diet. My family is hooking it to the diet. I will be talking and they will ask what time did you eat last? Or when do you eat again? I think the shortness might be hooked to sugar levels.
I am not going to blame the whole thing on diet, I think that hormones play a big role too! 125 pounds gone in a year and 85 of that in 6 months released a huge amount of hormones in my body which have never worked correctly before.
I also think that for more than 30 years everyone and everything was more important than my own stuff. Being raised in a minister's home where everything was about serving others and others needs laid a foundation in my life that sort of got me to the place of weighing 350.
Now that I have chosen me first, my health first, and my own life as important. I think I have issues absorbing other peoples issues and how to cope with them.
I want to find a balance between the old me and the new me.
Maybe I do need to learn communication skills better. Or join some support groups.
I just know I don't want my mouth shooting off and having something ugly coming out even when it is the truth...

I am glad you commented, I have a friend who feels the same way you do. She is enjoying the new me and loves and laughs that I now have a voice. She also sees this as a NSV. She understands this is such an adjustment for me and change from not speaking up to always having something to say..
She does say it is very different to have me make comments on topics or to people who I would never of called out before.
To her this new voice is fun and enjoyable to get to know a different side of me. She doesn't think I am being rude or too harsh and others should deal with it. She believes others are taking it harsh or more shocking because I have never spoken up before, not how I am saying things just that I am addressing issues at all.
Instead of beating myself up over this change, I think I will learn to adjust to it. It will mellow out as you said and I will find a groove.

I have my 6 month check up on Weds and will be interested to see what the labs say.
I think that some of the issues are the diet. My family is hooking it to the diet. I will be talking and they will ask what time did you eat last? Or when do you eat again? I think the shortness might be hooked to sugar levels.
I am not going to blame the whole thing on diet, I think that hormones play a big role too! 125 pounds gone in a year and 85 of that in 6 months released a huge amount of hormones in my body which have never worked correctly before.
I also think that for more than 30 years everyone and everything was more important than my own stuff. Being raised in a minister's home where everything was about serving others and others needs laid a foundation in my life that sort of got me to the place of weighing 350.
Now that I have chosen me first, my health first, and my own life as important. I think I have issues absorbing other peoples issues and how to cope with them.
I want to find a balance between the old me and the new me.
Maybe I do need to learn communication skills better. Or join some support groups.
I just know I don't want my mouth shooting off and having something ugly coming out even when it is the truth...

I have my 6 month check up on Weds and will be interested to see what the labs say.
I think that some of the issues are the diet. My family is hooking it to the diet. I will be talking and they will ask what time did you eat last? Or when do you eat again? I think the shortness might be hooked to sugar levels.
I am not going to blame the whole thing on diet, I think that hormones play a big role too! 125 pounds gone in a year and 85 of that in 6 months released a huge amount of hormones in my body which have never worked correctly before.
I also think that for more than 30 years everyone and everything was more important than my own stuff. Being raised in a minister's home where everything was about serving others and others needs laid a foundation in my life that sort of got me to the place of weighing 350.
Now that I have chosen me first, my health first, and my own life as important. I think I have issues absorbing other peoples issues and how to cope with them.
I want to find a balance between the old me and the new me.
Maybe I do need to learn communication skills better. Or join some support groups.
I just know I don't want my mouth shooting off and having something ugly coming out even when it is the truth...

I am glad you commented, I have a friend who feels the same way you do. She is enjoying the new me and loves and laughs that I now have a voice. She also sees this as a NSV. She understands this is such an adjustment for me and change from not speaking up to always having something to say..
She does say it is very different to have me make comments on topics or to people who I would never of called out before.
To her this new voice is fun and enjoyable to get to know a different side of me. She doesn't think I am being rude or too harsh and others should deal with it. She believes others are taking it harsh or more shocking because I have never spoken up before, not how I am saying things just that I am addressing issues at all.
Instead of beating myself up over this change, I think I will learn to adjust to it. It will mellow out as you said and I will find a groove.

I have my 6 month check up on Weds and will be interested to see what the labs say.
I think that some of the issues are the diet. My family is hooking it to the diet. I will be talking and they will ask what time did you eat last? Or when do you eat again? I think the shortness might be hooked to sugar levels.
I am not going to blame the whole thing on diet, I think that hormones play a big role too! 125 pounds gone in a year and 85 of that in 6 months released a huge amount of hormones in my body which have never worked correctly before.
I also think that for more than 30 years everyone and everything was more important than my own stuff. Being raised in a minister's home where everything was about serving others and others needs laid a foundation in my life that sort of got me to the place of weighing 350.
Now that I have chosen me first, my health first, and my own life as important. I think I have issues absorbing other peoples issues and how to cope with them.
I want to find a balance between the old me and the new me.
Maybe I do need to learn communication skills better. Or join some support groups.
I just know I don't want my mouth shooting off and having something ugly coming out even when it is the truth...