Telecia

Because he is or at least was a huge part of your life. Probably for a long time not only spouse but best friend, cohort, lover etc. Part of it could be the fact that the relationship has failed. Fear of the future. Fear of being alone. I know I stayed in a serious unhappy relationship for 13 years, he was a cheater and emotionally abusive. I stayed for the kids, I stayed cause of the $$, I stayed cause I refused to give up on my marriage, I stayed out of FEAR of change, the future and being alone. He was such a BAD cheater he invited his lover out with us on the evening of our wedding aniversary and I didn't realize it cause his lover was also his BEST MAN. Now after 8 years with my current BF I am GLAD I got out. I am much happier, kids are much happier. And while I havent even had my surgery yet and have no clue if our relationship will make it though that when it gets here. I know how hard it can be to make such a drastic decision. And if thats what you decide you have to do you can make it through and come out ahead.

Thing is he may actually want to lose weight. But doesn't want to put the actual effort into doing it. Which is why the shoveling of food in his mouth but avoiding sugar thing. As long as he is avoiding something he has himself fooled into thinking he is doing something constructive without actually giving up enough to actually lose weight. I think its actually a form of denial. Reason I say this is, I go through the same thing with my boyfriend, but only not for weight loss. For diabetes. But honestly it could be either. lol He went to the nutrition classes with me he is also diabetic. But he REFUSES to monitor his sugar levels, or avoid the foods he is suposed to. I am forever finding wrappers/packages etc. or hes forever bring home a small bag of Cookies, crackers etc. always high carb items. But yet if I bring it up he tends to point out the fact that he is allowed 1 carb more two meals of the day then I am allowed to have. But yet complains about his nerve pain and other side effects of his uncontroled diabetes. He will take his daily meds but that is as far as he is willing to go to control the disease. Doc says its denial. But man If my boyfriend only spent 10 minutes with me at the hosptial after I had surgery and it wasn't because he had to work. I'd be kicking his ass all over the neighborhood. Definatly time for councling

As dangerous as sleep apnea can be to your body I would seriously question a doctor that said NOT to use it??? Does he/she not seem to understand that sleep apnea means you STOP breathing?!? Which means your bodys organs start taking damage just like if someone was strangulating you? Granted SOMETIMES air can get into your stomach. But that is usually when your pressure settings are to high. The fact that apnea worsens so many health issues that its not funny, makes your risk for strokes and heart attak higher, has now been shown to be a signifigant factor in people who find losing weight difficult. They are finding out now that apnea is linked with many issues like diabetes, fybrmyalgia, depression and MORE. An article that explains it much better than I can. www.cpaptalk.com • Our Collective Wisdom As a 13+ year CPAP user, I can say ANYONE can get used to living with a CPAP machine. But you have to want to. Just like getting serious about weight loss you have to BE SERIOUS about tackling your sleep apnea. If your doctor perscribes a treatment/pill/therapy for some issue you have, you do it right? No difference. If you can't handle that mask. *Gasp* Try another one! There are litterly hundreds of makes & models of masks out there.What works for one person wont work with another. As our faces, skin etc are all different. Get with your DME and raise the roof enough that they help you work out finind the right mask for you. They wont tell you that you CAN try several masks cause they dont make money that way. Join a good forum and see what many other CPAPers have tried and found ways of making life with CPAP more bearable. My favorite ones is cpaptalk.com

sooo many things we don't realize that can effect our smells. Having just recovered from having a 10 centimeter wound close I noticed I had developed what I called a wound smell. When I had to wear the wound VAC it wasn't real noticable but the last 2 weeks without the VAC it was VERY noticable to me and my family despite daily bathing. And the smell lingered for like 2 weeks AFTER the silly thing was sealed and no longer needed bandaging. Doc said that it was normal to have a scent change and that everything we eat or drink causes effects in our smells. And told me not to worry about it keep the wound clean and it would resolve. And it did. Everything from the foods we eat (Course everyone knows onions/garlic) to the Vitamins & Medicines we take can change our smells. Certainly the ketosis caused by weight loss would do it cause the body is *Burning* off more fat cells retain allot of junk in them hormones/medicines etc. So the body going into super fat burning mode has an increased ammounts of *crap* in the system it makes sense that a portion of the gunk might be excreted in sweat/skin pores.

I tried to breastfeed all mine. But I only managed successfully with my middle one. My daughter. My oldest son I had a very backwards kind of doctor. he didnt do ultrasounds, and didnt have a problem with me gaining almost 100 lbs!! And I found out after my son was born he was TOTALLY against breastfeeding. Only manged 6 weeks with him. Mainly because I had noone to talk to for advice about it. I ended up putting eldest on the bottle out of pain and frustration. So when pregnant with my daughter I had access to breastfeeding classes and books and the net. Thank heavens the doc had since retired cause when I learned in the breastfeeding classes that the whole reason I had suffered pain and scaring was simply because my son wasn't getting enough of the nipple in his mouth for it to work right. I would have litterly kicked that doctors ass. Boy was I pissed. DD nursed just fine for 10 months almost to the day. I used to sit in the backseat of the car with her so she could nurse without being removed from her carseat!! Never had any issues feeding her in public but I always used at blanket. Only problem we had with her was not being able to leave h er with anyone because she REFUSED to take anything even breastmilk from any other source but me. lol. we tried sippy cups, spoon, bottles of every shape and size, even an eyedropper. All no go. Even if it was me trying to give her breastmilk didnt matter. At the 10 month mark I take her to her ped and they recommend starting apple juice. And that night was the last time she nursed period!! Once she tried juice she then refused the breast.!!! LOL Much to my dismay. Thank the stars for hot showers and breast pumps!! Talk about a painfull weaning. But she refused anything but her juice bottles from that point on. Which really caused allot of concern since only juice isnt good for a child. we ended up finding a mix of formula and juice that she would finally tollerate some and was suplimented with liquid Vitamins on top of it all. youngest I wanted to breastfeed but couldnt since all the complications we had. He and I were seperate hosptials, and got out way before I did. I demanded a breast pump and tried using it. but had little luck. After 2 weeks of struggling with the pump I gave up. Very frustrated. I was extremly upset to find out (AFTER I got home) That I had M.R.S.A and would have never been allowed to give my son breastmilk anyhow. Had I known this from the begining I wouldnt have spent so much effort in getting results with the pump. all 3 had issues with ear infections etc as kids, but when it comes to the #'s of colds/ear/sniffles they had it seems to me that the oldest had the most and the youngest the least. However I think much of that also comes down to the fact that you learn enough with each progressive child that you don't tend to react as much as you might have with the first child. Bah that doesn't sound right. lol hopefully you can get what I mean.

Been there done that. All I can say on the matter is be open and honest with your partner from the start, And set rules. My ex talked me into threesomes and more and I was dumb enough to get talked/tricked into it. While the actual sex was good many times the reasons behind it sucked and were deceptive. The ex wanted to swing because he was in the closet gay and wanted to get me used to the idea of him having sex with guys. Needless to say we seperated in 2000 after 13 years together. However I think if a couple is TOTALLY honest with each other and set rules and limits it can be done successfully. But both have to be willing and the reasoning behind the desire totally understood and accepted.

Oh awesome!! Crossing my fingers for you that no more troubles arrise for ya!!

I am sorta glad to be home. 14 days in the hospital I was dying to get home now I am wondering if it was wise to come home now. Ok to fill you in on the whats and whys. I went in on sept 5th for my second heart cath. And to have 2 more stints inserted. That part went fine. But somewhere in the recovery of that things went all wrong, and I started bleeding internally. They tried direct pressure which didn't work and I ended up being rushed into surgery to stop the bleeding of my artery in the groin, needing 5 units of blood and they had to drain a gallon sized hematoma(Pocket of blood).I got 2 more units of blood 4 days before I was released also for a total of 7. So now I have a wound in my groin that din't close right, on the 5th day after surgery when the doc pulled the staples it opened back up and gushed out about a liter of fluid. Which started wound packing. After 3-4 days of packing it with gauze etc twice a day they put a wound vac on me. Which isn't so bad. or wasn't while I was in the hospital at least. Now that I am home its frekking annoying. They only change it every other day so a nurse comes in on monday, wensday and friday to change it. Here it is thursday and its starting to leak a bit. And I really have no way of fixing it myself. Marv might be coerced to help find the leak and put more film over it but he would be extreemly squeemish I know. Being in my groin I can't see it myself, not sure I could handle it either. I guess its pretty deep. I can call my sister in law if worse gets to worse. I just hope I don't have to. Anyhow they didn't send me home with any pain meds so sleeping much is not much of an option. I Have a call put in to the doctros office for pain meds but they are taking their time in replying. Plus they can't call in the same meds I was on in the hosptial. I would have to make the hour long drive to go pick it up. So the nurse is gonna try and get me something else. I can sleep for a couple hours at a stretch but not for anylonger since moving around is somwhat difficult and painfull. So of course my daughter has to get sick right now. I did manage 3-4 hours sleep today and ended up sleeping to late to get her into her doctors today so gotta try again tommorow for her. I think she has a yeast infection but let the doctor check lol. So thats where I have been and what ive been up to for the last few weeks..

I am sorta glad to be home. 14 days in the hospital I was dying to get home now I am wondering if it was wise to come home now. Ok to fill you in on the whats and whys. I went in on sept 5th for my second heart cath. And to have 2 more stints inserted. That part went fine. But somewhere in the recovery of that things went all wrong, and I started bleeding internally. They tried direct pressure which didn't work and I ended up being rushed into surgery to stop the bleeding of my artery in the groin, needing 5 units of blood and they had to drain a gallon sized hematoma(Pocket of blood).I got 2 more units of blood 4 days before I was released also for a total of 7. So now I have a wound in my groin that din't close right, on the 5th day after surgery when the doc pulled the staples it opened back up and gushed out about a liter of fluid. Which started wound packing. After 3-4 days of packing it with gauze etc twice a day they put a wound vac on me. Which isn't so bad. or wasn't while I was in the hospital at least. Now that I am home its frekking annoying. They only change it every other day so a nurse comes in on monday, wensday and friday to change it. Here it is thursday and its starting to leak a bit. And I really have no way of fixing it myself. Marv might be coerced to help find the leak and put more film over it but he would be extreemly squeemish I know. Being in my groin I can't see it myself, not sure I could handle it either. I guess its pretty deep. I can call my sister in law if worse gets to worse. I just hope I don't have to. Anyhow they didn't send me home with any pain meds so sleeping much is not much of an option. I Have a call put in to the doctros office for pain meds but they are taking their time in replying. Plus they can't call in the same meds I was on in the hosptial. I would have to make the hour long drive to go pick it up. So the nurse is gonna try and get me something else. I can sleep for a couple hours at a stretch but not for anylonger since moving around is somwhat difficult and painfull. So of course my daughter has to get sick right now. I did manage 3-4 hours sleep today and ended up sleeping to late to get her into her doctors today so gotta try again tommorow for her. I think she has a yeast infection but let the doctor check lol. So thats where I have been and what ive been up to for the last few weeks..:rolleyes2:

You can get chicken breasts (Boneless/skinless) that have chicken broth added to them that will not cook up dry at all. I have seen them at Meijer, Kroger and Aldie's (In the US) they aren't packaged like your usual meats they usually come in large ziplock(resealable) bags. and have 6-8 pieces in them. Not sure if you can find the broth added in the meat counter but it sure would be work looking or asking about.

sooo many things it could be caused by, allergies to meds, over the counter products, diet. Its time to take a close look at what you are doing differently the last 2 weeks and see where the change has taken place. seeing a dermatoligist or at least a doctor would be wise also.

for me on my legs it lasts 1-2 weeks but I dont have heavy hair on my legs either. And for me also the hair grows back in much softer then shaving. 13 years ago I was told NEVER again should I use razors on my legs because of my cellulitius/M.R.S.A./Diabetes issues. So I started looking for alternitives. And I never need multiple applications with the magic cream either. Something I always seemed to have to do with most other creams.

also dont forget that fat stores many things, and as you are losing weight and burning off the fat the things that are stored in that fat are going to be dumping into your blood to get filtered out. This is why many people have serious hormone isssues while losing weight. the stored estrogen etc. is dumped into the blood and the body has to handle the excess. This is most likely what is happening to you as long as your carefull about your fat intake that is probably whats happening. I am no doctor but I bet once you hit goal and stay there a while you numbers will be way better.

thankfully not something I have to worry about anymore since when youngest #3 was born I Had signed the paperwork to get my tubes tied after the C-section. But I did birth control pills from 16 to 21 which worked well for me but because of my cholesterol levels they took me off them. I Went through a period of using the sponge for a few years and I gotta say unless you have a steady partner willing to also use a condom DON'T lol. My ex REFUSED to wear condoms at all and my first 2 kids came from the sponge. I just hope if it is comming back on the market it has been improved. I wish at that time there were better options like there are now. But at the time it was pill, IUD which had TONS of complications, sponge, diaphram and condoms. So kmany better options now. I never had a problem taking my pills daily since I left the container on my bedside table and my foster mom would ask me at Breakfast if I took it. After the first month I never forgot it.

It all depends on what part your counting. lol. we are currently experiencing some ED problems. Because he was in denial about his dibetes for a couple of years and neurapathy has taken it toll on him. But before that it varied. actual penitration?? Well most any of the guys I have been with in my life (Actually swung with my ex for few years) most never lasted very long unless there were problems. excessive alcohol use can make some guys last forever but not orgasm. very frustrating. Some it gives temporary ED. Heck once when me and the ex were dating we had one episode that went on for like 4 hours before he came. years later I find out he's really gay and trying to fake a so called *normal life* was why he had trouble orgasming. 5-10 minutes seems to be pretty normal for actual intercourse. Fore and after play however has varried allot! Currently my BF is wonderfull with the Other kinds of sex besides penitration and I get as much as I want which can be anything from 15 minutes up to 2 hours lol.

having had major cellulitus problems in the past I am not allowed to shave my legs add to that diabetes and any kind of grooming that could cause injury I am told to avoid. So I started looking for alternatives to shaving 13 years ago when told this by my dr. 99% odf the cream *hair removers* are a joke. they work somewhat but usually take 2-3 applications which can be really damaging to the skin. The only 2 that I found I can use with any reliability is surgi cream and I ONLY buy it when I can't get my favorite Magic shave. Magic shave is really awesome but hard to find its a product that is sold where you find products for (No insult intended I never know what terms are PC) black/african american peoples hair products. I find it at the local dollar store. But its often out of stock. So when I can catch it I buy 2-3 tubes. Comes in 2 strenghts doesnt stink as bad as most other products and really works well. I can even use it in the bikini area without it burning my skin. My BF who has REALLY Sensitive skin has done a spot test on his face with good results but has yet to try it. If he lets his facial hair grow o ut for 2 days or more (Like not shaving on a 3 day weekend) His face will break out and ooze almost like blister Patches. So he is really carefull about what he puts on his skin and he HAS to shave every day to avoid this..

I agree!! Buying for anyone can be a daunting task anymore. And having a *wish list* available to me is a great Idea. But sending it out in the invitations just smacks of greed. There have been many times I have wanted a wish list and ended up settling for $ in a card when I really would have rather got the kid something but having been the parent who has seen there kids get ill fitting gifts I would much rather see the kid get something they at least like or will use. Then gifts they won't. I been eyeballing the ITunes cards I keep seeing in the check out line at walmart, considering to start getting a card or two and putting them back for xmas. For xmas I always tell my kids to make me a list of things they would like. But NOT TO expect exactly everything on their list. And that the list gives me Ideas of what to get, what they actually get is dependant on how much I can afford to spend.

Oh yea both my moms and dads side of the family both have tall thin men and short round women!! I was one of the first women in the history of the family to actually be over 5ft tall. My mom being 5ft 5 i actually got to 5ft9 by the time i was 16. Men being over 6 foot was common on both sides but it was almost unheard of for any of the males to be overweight. It seemed to have changed with my generation but I don't have contact with any of my family anymore so I dunno how much it changed. But my ex's family who I do still have close contact with. Weight is an issue with most of them. (1 has had WLS) Especially with conjunction with age. So I know what my kids are looking forward to lol. And it aint gonna be pretty! And my step moms family which was no blood relation to me at all several had weight issues, male & female both. 3 of which tried WLS in the past. SO I think alot of it is hereidity but a even bigger part of it is social. Since all family gatherings always seem to focus on huge buffets of food!

Not having been banded yet I cant answer from experience but I can answer from I Have learned on this board. One of the main reasons for the band is portion control we don't realize that we are conditioned all our lives to eat HUGE Portions, So in order to lose weight we have to go back to realizticly normal portions hence why ammount is a bit important. This is why they tell you to eat *Protien* first. Which is meats & Beans they take the longest of all foods to Digest. Keeping your stomach fuller for longer. If your hungry again in a hour after a meal your foods not lasting long enough and the reason needs to be found. DO you need another fill are you drinking with your meal etc?? This one is important to everyone who is concerned about their weight. In our rushed society today people shovel their food down and we do it so fast our poor stomach can't react appropriately. YOu know how after a huge meal like 20 minutes later you feel so much more stuffed then you did when you left the table>> The stomach has just realized how overfull it is.. If you slow down you WILL fill up faster on small portions. And give the stomach time to react. Also with the band you will need to take time in between bits just to make sure it *Goes down ok* If you get a bite stuck and put 2-3 more on top of it the resulting PB/Sliming episode could be rather nasty. And painfull!! Besides on all the different diest we have tried in our lifetimes how many of them tell us to *Slow down with eating our meals* Proably a good 95% of the diets I have seen have. Yes my understanding about restriction is if you dont chew your food well it can and will get stuck so slowing down and taking time to chew your food to mush is important. Actually I have a couple of dieticians and doctors now tell me to combat the always hungry feeling AND stablise blood sugar levels better (I am Diabetic) Several small meals a day is better then 1-3 large ones. Aparently this also helps raise our metabolisim, or so I am told. it also helps you to actually in the long run eat less. Because your not waiting till your really hungry to eat therefore letting your hunger dictate how much you eat. If that makes sense. Its a well known fact not go shopping when your hungry cause you WILL buy junk/quickie items or purchase things you dont REALLY Need. It avoids the eyes bigger then the stomach thing that we all tend to do before we learn more normal ways of eating. I hope I explained it so you can can understand it. If not then I am sure others will come by and do it better! :present: But thats what is so great about this board, ask for info and ye shall recieve!!:Banane34:

Hmm have had several over the years but favorites, lets see. Not a toy but a total nessisity Fore-play lube!! We have our current one its colred and shaped to be just like a man but the head part of it is bigger then any guy I have ever seen and the whole thing had more of a curve to it then a real guy lol. When it was new it vibrated but after the second washing it died so removing the guts made it more flexable. LOL. The last one the BF bought for me I didnt like it was straight and had little knobs all over it & Vibrated. And was purple (my fav color) But I didn't like how it felt. For me it wasn't particualy pleasant. Almost like to much sensation. I never was one to have alot of toys cause my kids were so small and I am the type I don't like keeping the kids *Out* much. So I always was affraid to have anything around in cse they might stumble across stuff. Now that the oldest is 13 that might change.

CHANGE DOCTORS!! i I Spent a year trying to convinve m y doc, (appointments every 3 months) And finally gave up on her (Other reasons though also) And found me a new doctor. MUCH happier with now. But no closer to surgery unfortunatly. In the time it took to change over doctors through my insurance ( took a month to clear the changes) I had to go to the emergency room for chest pain. The new doc wont talk surgery till he has seen me for a while and got my blood sugars stablized. And because of the chest pain I had to start seeing a cardiologist. Well on the 25th last month they put 1 stint into my heart and on the 5th they will be putting another one in. THEN comes another round of stress tests and such on my heart before my cardio will clear me for surgery. IF THERE ARE no more blockages. So I'm not any closer but at least I have a doctor now that WANTS to see more healthy. And will consider surgery if thats really what I want and we can get some other things under control.

the stress test isnt that bad can just be time consuming. I didnt get a headache from it but it made me all jitterly feeling for a while and slightly dizzy. lol But yea it might hold off your band for a while. But shouldnt prevent you from getting it. My cardio doc said untill he gets my blockages handled a %90 one stinted already 2 weeks ago I have a %80 one i have to have to have done sept 5. Then a series of tests again. He is all for me getting WLS surgery done. But he can't with a clear concious clear me for a major surgery till he can get the problems in my heart stablized. Heck he is so eager for me to lose weight he outloud wondered if he could *Convince* my insurance to pay for them to also remove my *Apron* at the same time as having the band done. lol And he really didnt want to wait a month in between the 2 angioplasty/stints but the day I had it done seemed to be the dawy for several more pressing emergencys or they would of done both then.

Your hard work and dedication is a inspiration

Went to my first diabetes class today, actually a more of a get to know you kind of thing, Spent an hour answering question etc. One of my big problems which the lady pointed out to me is I don't do breakfasts. Well I do in a way 4-5 hours later!! LOL. So I need to eat no later then 1 1/2 hour after waking. She said this is one reason my blood sugars are fluctuating wildly. Its not so much what I eat cause she said Im making great choices. But how often so I need to start eating more often. And of course since I want to lose weight eating more often sounds so counter productive! LOL. Thank god my dr.s office called today. To call in medicine for my neurapathy. I had a hell of a time getting or staying a sleep last night as I have a new ( had it once before but years ago) Phantom pain in my left thigh. OMG It burns!! There is NOTHING there no reason at all it should hurt like this. No bruising no busted veins nothing. And the closer to morning It got the more it burned. I got up an hour before the alarm cause I couldnt take it anymore. This week start the august madness. Yep school registrations and stuff! Thank god school supply & Uniform shopping is already done. Only if the kids have teachers that request special supplies do they need anything. We have enough pens/pencils/notebooks to burry a horse. lol. Wal-mart had the 5-cent notebooks lie usual so this year I got 2 boxes instead of 1. Ahh well gotta call my love and tell him to hit the pharmacy before he gets off work. And I think I am gonna try a nap.

Went to my first diabetes class today, actually a more of a get to know you kind of thing, Spent an hour answering question etc. One of my big problems which the lady pointed out to me is I don't do breakfasts. Well I do in a way 4-5 hours later!! LOL. So I need to eat no later then 1 1/2 hour after waking. She said this is one reason my blood sugars are fluctuating wildly. Its not so much what I eat cause she said Im making great choices. But how often so I need to start eating more often. And of course since I want to lose weight eating more often sounds so counter productive! LOL. Thank god my dr.s office called today. To call in medicine for my neurapathy. I had a hell of a time getting or staying a sleep last night as I have a new ( had it once before but years ago) Phantom pain in my left thigh. OMG It burns!! There is NOTHING there no reason at all it should hurt like this. No bruising no busted veins nothing. And the closer to morning It got the more it burned. I got up an hour before the alarm cause I couldnt take it anymore. This week start the august madness. Yep school registrations and stuff! Thank god school supply & Uniform shopping is already done. Only if the kids have teachers that request special supplies do they need anything. We have enough pens/pencils/notebooks to burry a horse. lol. Wal-mart had the 5-cent notebooks lie usual so this year I got 2 boxes instead of 1. Ahh well gotta call my love and tell him to hit the pharmacy before he gets off work. And I think I am gonna try a nap.