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home finally

I am sorta glad to be home. 14 days in the hospital I was dying to get home now I am wondering if it was wise to come home now. Ok to fill you in on the whats and whys. I went in on sept 5th for my second heart cath. And to have 2 more stints inserted. That part went fine. But somewhere in the recovery of that things went all wrong, and I started bleeding internally. They tried direct pressure which didn't work and I ended up being rushed into surgery to stop the bleeding of my artery in the groin, needing 5 units of blood and they had to drain a gallon sized hematoma(Pocket of blood).I got 2 more units of blood 4 days before I was released also for a total of 7.   So now I have a wound in my groin that din't close right, on the 5th day after surgery when the doc pulled the staples it opened back up and gushed out about a liter of fluid. Which started wound packing. After 3-4 days of packing it with gauze etc twice a day they put a wound vac on me. Which isn't so bad. or wasn't while I was in the hospital at least. Now that I am home its frekking annoying. They only change it every other day so a nurse comes in on monday, wensday and friday to change it. Here it is thursday and its starting to leak a bit. And I really have no way of fixing it myself. Marv might be coerced to help find the leak and put more film over it but he would be extreemly squeemish I know. Being in my groin I can't see it myself, not sure I could handle it either. I guess its pretty deep. I can call my sister in law if worse gets to worse. I just hope I don't have to.   Anyhow they didn't send me home with any pain meds so sleeping much is not much of an option. I Have a call put in to the doctros office for pain meds but they are taking their time in replying. Plus they can't call in the same meds I was on in the hosptial. I would have to make the hour long drive to go pick it up. So the nurse is gonna try and get me something else. I can sleep for a couple hours at a stretch but not for anylonger since moving around is somwhat difficult and painfull. So of course my daughter has to get sick right now. I did manage 3-4 hours sleep today and ended up sleeping to late to get her into her doctors today so gotta try again tommorow for her. I think she has a yeast infection but let the doctor check lol.   So thats where I have been and what ive been up to for the last few weeks..:rolleyes2:
Telecia

Telecia

1
 

diabetes class

Went to my first diabetes class today, actually a more of a get to know you kind of thing, Spent an hour answering question etc. One of my big problems which the lady pointed out to me is I don't do breakfasts. Well I do in a way 4-5 hours later!! LOL. So I need to eat no later then 1 1/2 hour after waking. She said this is one reason my blood sugars are fluctuating wildly. Its not so much what I eat cause she said Im making great choices. But how often so I need to start eating more often. And of course since I want to lose weight eating more often sounds so counter productive! LOL. Thank god my dr.s office called today. To call in medicine for my neurapathy.   I had a hell of a time getting or staying a sleep last night as I have a new ( had it once before but years ago) Phantom pain in my left thigh. OMG It burns!! There is NOTHING there no reason at all it should hurt like this. No bruising no busted veins nothing. And the closer to morning It got the more it burned. I got up an hour before the alarm cause I couldnt take it anymore. This week start the august madness. Yep school registrations and stuff! Thank god school supply & Uniform shopping is already done. Only if the kids have teachers that request special supplies do they need anything. We have enough pens/pencils/notebooks to burry a horse. lol. Wal-mart had the 5-cent notebooks lie usual so this year I got 2 boxes instead of 1.   Ahh well gotta call my love and tell him to hit the pharmacy before he gets off work. And I think I am gonna try a nap.
Telecia

Telecia

1
 

30 days smoke free!

the not smoking is going fine, 2 days ago i started on the 14mg patch been hitting the cough drops a bit ahrd i noticed and having to think conciously more about not smoking, but handling it. was kind of nice going to cracker barrel the other day and sitting in the non smoking area. lol   man marv got sourdough bread as a side with his meal 3 slices!! I warned him. his blood sugar was 300+ that night. I told him. mine on the other hand was 127 :redface: I had a grilled chicken sandwich and side salad and 1/3 of my sons steak fries. Josh got both steak fries AND a baked potatoe with a sirloin and the potatoe was HUGE like 7inches long he couldnt eat it. He ate his 12 oz sirloin and 2/3s of his fries was all. But it was nice to see him fill up quickly. the reduced portions at home are starting to be noticable. at least on me and josh.   well i gotta go back to st vincents on the 25th or around then. i gotta schedual it for a friday incase i have to stay overnight again, for another heart cath and another stint untill we get all my blockages handled my cardio wont even consider clearing me for a band till all thats handled. so have to wait and see.
Telecia

Telecia

1
 

Breaking my addiction. (Smoking)

Well I made it through my first day as a NON Smoker. Actually yesterday was pretty easy its this morning that is rough. LOL. My normal morning routine is a huge 32oz mug of coffee and of course a few cigarettes. I got sugar free gum, mints, cough drops, and a jar of menthol rub to inhale from to help with the menthol part of my addiction. So far sitting here drinking coffee and sitting in bed gaming with marv has been my 2 times that I really start feeling it.   Other things, one tire on the van has had a really slow leak in it. He's taken it back and they can't find the leak so we have just been living with it for now. Keeping an eye on it and keeping it full. Well it went flat on him last night. And of course today being the 4th NOONE is open. LOL   My SIL was telling me last night that at the new casino next door (the horse park recently opened a 24 hour casino) to us they are having a FREE concert tonight. One of my childhood idols is gonna be performing and I can't Go!! *crys* If I'd had enough warning to make the half hour drive to the nearest place to rent a wheelchair I coulda gone. So I guesss It's opening my patio door and hoping the sound carries enough.   Anyhow its Davy Jones from the Monkees. I adored their show growing up I was a religious watcher. To bad its not all 4 or I would go somehow. Even if i had to crawl lol!!   lol Ahh well there going to have a big fireworks show too. So at least jay wont have to miss seeing any because Marv has to work. The park is close enough we will have a great view of any of the fireworks from the sidewalk just out front of the apartment.   Man in just the few minutes I have been sitting here since I got up 35 or so) I have started to reach for my missing cig pack 7 or 8 times unconciously lol..All the ashtrays went into the dishwasher last night. I Put my case, lighter etc up out of sight. And since I rolled my own I took the plastic tuperwear containerI used to hold it all in the dishwasher also and put my roller thingy & tamper away. threw away all the empty tubes I had too. So even if I am tempted to cheat i can't cause there isn't anything here to cheat with. lol   My daughters not home either so I can't bum one off her. Shes gonna have to clean up her room too now. Gotta get carpet powder or rent a cleaner to help get the smells out. But I am doing it!!!
Telecia

Telecia

2
 

Cardioligist says

Well I finally managed to get in and see my cardiologist and boy am I NOT happy. Why? Abnonrmal ECG he didn't exactly say what was abnormal about it but he now wants a heart cath done.   BUT there are problems with that.   Because of my large belly they can't go in through the groin, (BUT he did say something about the possibility of having my belly removed? Have to see where that goes) So they will go in under the arm.   We sat for a extra hour while the nurses played phone & fax tag. Since I had M.R.S.A before they wanted to get ahold of the records from 2002 saying I was cleared from it. But that wasn't possible. So tomorow I have to go and get a nasal swab done to be sure. Only when that comes back can they actually schedual the heart cath. Since its a culture test it will be 72 hours before they get back anything.   The doc wants more testing but he says at my size most of the tests can't tell him much. One of the reasons he said something about getting my large stomach removed. He was pleased that I want to get the band and mentioned possibly having both done at the same time. But he had to see just what was goin on with my heart first. Also durring the cath they will be doing some imaginging. I also start the patch for quitting smooking too soon so life sounds like its gonna be a trip for a bit next week. Gotta take a 30-45 minute drive to the center where they want to do the cath at. I REALLY hate driving into Indianapolis. Seems the older I get the more nervious I get riding in the car, interstate/city driving utterly freaks me out anymore.   FINALLY got a accurate weight though. 6-months ago I was 440 today was 424. So there has been some loss. Just not as much as I would have liked. But I now also know of place I can go to get weighed durring daytime office hours if I need to, another office in the cardiologist building has a full blown wheelchair type scale.   Dad is in the hosptial atm we have the same cardio doc. Hes gonna have a cath also and possible stent replacement. In the morning. He started having chest pain last night. He is 82 now and had several caths. Doc was trying to warn me that dad is increasingly more negative and vocalized to him that he was ready to be done with life. I told the doc yea I knew he had started talking like that 2+ years ago right before they had to put him in the nursing home. At the time we were living with him but he refused to follow his doctors orders and refused to let me help him with much. He was already talking like that then. So for really close family this is nothing new. But I could tell the doc was spooked by it. He really does care about his patients.   So thats it. I now have 2 docs that care (FINALLY) And want to help me improve my health so only good can come from that.
Telecia

Telecia

2
 

didnt need to be worried lol

well good new is I was worried about my blood tests for noting. lol.   the ONLY thing that had bad numbers was my cholesterol whoch has been bad honestly for the last 20+ years. lol. The great news part is I DO NOT Need thyroid meds anymore. my levels were good, so my old doc had me on the meds prematurely or unessisarily. Iron levels were good. so no more need for iron for my period unless I just want to keep the flow ammount down. Also the BEST PART. NO KIDNEY DAMAGE!!! 2 doctors ago they said I had kidney damage from my diabetes but he never sent to me a specialist like he said i needed.   This weeks tests say there is no kidney damage.   The only bad on the cholesterol wasn't a suprise to me. the numbers STILL aren't good so hes doubling my lipitor.   And on another note man I'm getting used to the diet changes in a GOOD way. Me and the bf stopped at burger king the other day and decided to try one of the new steakhouse burgers, it sounded good. but MAN it wasn't.   We deliberatly now do not large or king size value meals anymore. But the steakhouse for us was a big mistake. I actually felt WORSE after eating it. Sure I wasn't hungry anymore but man it was greasy and i dunno how to explain it. Rich or something. I guess heavy is the best way to explain it.   I didn't even wanna touch food for 10-12 hours after it.   I'm outta tomatoes and altern so its off to the store. Kroger has these awesome whole grain multigrain tortillas I am now addicted to!! If I didn't have kids I would stop buying bread totally. Also kroger has their own store brand whole wheat pastas too. I was shocked at how low3 my blood sugar was after eating spagetti with whole wheat pasta. it was great!!
Telecia

Telecia

1
 

EEEk!! A bit worried

Geeze I got up today to a voice mail from the doctors office My PCP that is. the new guy. Had my blood work done on wensday now thursday the office has called about the test results. So now I am worried!! :ohmy:   He ordered up a TON of blood work, checking thyroid, iron and hard telling what else as my medicaleze is getting rusty 20 years out of the nursing field. lol:blush: Since its summer and our sleep schedual is all messed up (Went to bed at 10am this morning lol ) :thumbup: I gotta wait and call the office before going to bed this morning.   A mamogram was one of the tests but that one wont be till the 24th. Never had one before so should be a learning experience. lol not looking forward to the gals getting smushed!! But hey all in the name of health huh.
Telecia

Telecia

1
 

Renewed hope

Well I finally saw the new doctor yesterday. Spent 2 hours on the first visit just getting the baseline stuff down. he ordered a ton of tests. Changed some of my perscriptions. And we talked about alot of things.   OMG my new doc is a DISH! LOL. :tt1: :drool:     Right now his take on my increasing mobility problems/weight is that he has ordered hydrotherapy. To increase strength and stamina so that I can hopefully start getting in more daily excersise. :thumbup: Not sure how often or how long the sessions are gonna be. They will call me with that soon. But its a nice step that my previous doc didn't bother with.   He's of a mind to do whatever it takes to get me moving more. I am also to let him know if I start having any new pain with the hydrotherapy too. As he will perscribe me actuall pain meds but only after the therapy starts and I am sure I will need them. Have to see.   My last weight at the old doc 6 months ago was 440. Yesterdays the nurse said it was 338?!? I did not see the #'s myself and I suspect they are off terribly as my clothes haven't gotten any bigger on me. :biggrin:   The nurse didn't pull the scale out of the little corner it was in so I was partially up against the wall on one side. So I suspect the reading might be off. But man that would awesome to have lost 100lbs in the last 6 months. lol but I seriously doubt that is the case, not that much at least. I know my changes in diet will have probably caused some loss but nothing that drastic. :frown:   Peeking at the computer screen the doc was looking it it said my BMI was 56.1.:w00t: He saw my jaw drop look and I told him what my weight was 6 months ago. And didn't ask me to get on the scale again. Next visit I will ask the nurse to move the scale away from the wall for a more accurate reading though. It was a digital one.   Went over to the lab they have in the office for the blood draws and the nurse there was raather snarky. 10 1/2 hours fasting wasn't enough she said had to be 12+ talk about pissed, :cursing: she didnt even LOOK at the 3 other sheets of tests the doc wanted done. One was a mamogram that should have been schedualed. BUT NO she wouldn't even look at the others. So I left. Now it will be another week before my BF has a day off durring the week so we can try again. ugh.   He did give me a chantix perscription (least he said he was going to) but I gotta call the pharmachy to find out why It wasn't filled or if it might not have been in the big stack of perscriptions. But thank heavens he said if something was missing to call the office. (the clinic REFUSED to do things over the phone)   I was also really nice that he remembered my BF's name and a couple other details without having a chart in front of him. And my BF's only seen him once now. :cool:   So conclusion is everything didn't get addressed at the appointment but I expected that. I HAVE to go back in a month but I will probably make another appointment before that to address a couple of things like needing a humidifier for my CPAP. But overall so far I'm way more happy with Charlie then the old docs. :thumbup:   I have no idea yet if he would approve the band. As I didn't ask, and he didn't comment on it being on my printed up list. But he is at least agreeing that SOMETHING needs to be done and anything he can help with towards that goal he seems willing to do. :tongue:
Telecia

Telecia

1
 

Depressed

Yea yea I know I rarely post in this blog but I've decided I'm gonna be better about doing it more. Thing is im getting down about the whole lapband thing. I want it so badly But everything has gone against it so far. See my insurance Indiana Medicaide assigned me to a doctor 2 years ago. It's the doctor who runs the city clinic. So thats where I have been going for the last 2 years. At first I loved it!! the doctor I saw my first 4-5 visits was awesome!! He listened to my concerns, was helpfull in helping me obtain what I needed at the time and genuinely cared.   But then suddenly he was gone. And since it has been a different person evertime I have an appointment. 2-3 months will go by and theres another switch in doctors. MOST make you feel like your on a conveyer belt. They are plenty quick to refill my longterm perscriptions, but don't want to change anything. Ignore many of my concerns. I have even been blatently been told that since my appointment was down for a med refill they WOULDN'T address anyother concerns. heck they can't even get my med refills right. And they have a no phone policy where they won't handle anything over the phone. Thankfully my pharmacist has been persistent enough to get them to fix the messed up med refill percriptions. But not without a huge week or so long hassle. The most recent line of doctors will not address my sleep apnea, I'm having nosebleeds and infections because I don't have a humidifier. The last one even had the nerve after telling her I had Already tried humidifying my bedroom to the point of having wet walls once. That all I needed to do was run a humidifier. :thumbup: They will perscribe 4-5 different things for inflamation of my knees but refuse to try to do anything about debilitating back pain, my sleep apnea or the fact that I am suposed to be on meds for my thyroid. First time I brought up the lap band the lady I saw that day was postive about it and thought the idea was great. But didn't make the referal I need to go see the surgeon for a assessment. So next visit I asked and got told I was stupid for wanting a surgery to lose weight. :crying: She would not approve it.   I'n march I was seen in the ER for chest pain. Was in ICU for a day cause they figured I would need a heart cath. Turns out the cardioligist said no it can be fixed with meds. But there WAS a change in my ekg's he was concerned about. Gave me 3 new perscriptions, 2 pills and nitro patch.   So I now have a cardio I am suposed to be seeing regularly. But the clinic WON'T supply or return calls for the referal # I need so insurance will pay for the visits. And I don't have 300$ (Cause they do egk and other tests sometimes durring the office visits) to pay for the appointments. :confused2:   Anyhow after explaining the whole thing to the cardios office manager she said they would keep trying and that I should call my insurance case worker. I get a letter in the mail that in 2 days I will be Without a doctor cause they are dropping my insurance carrier!?!? WTF?!? how can a clinic for people who have little or no insurance stop taking medicaid?!? I suspect thats a made up line. Especially since we drove by there last night and theres a sign saying medicaid/medicare welcome. Also my brother law goes there and hes on medicaid too.   Anyhow my boyfriend recently started seeing a doctor here in town that he really likes. And He hasn't met his medicaid quota yet!! Yea!! So I make the call to get it changed over. State says it takes 3-5 buisness days so I wait 5 days and call them. Nope not changed over in the computer yet. that they only do the changes on the 1st and 15th of the month. Call back on the 2nd.   WTF?!?! we can buy things online, do banking, transfer funds and all sorts of other things online now that take a blink of the eye almost to do. Why does it take 15 days to show a change in the computer!?!?!   So I'm waiting. here it is the 6th and because my daughter had surgery 2 days ago. My nephew just had a baby, our van had serious mechanical problems. A broken toe. And my screwed up sleep schedual I now have to wait till monday to call the dr's office again to see if the changes have been made. AND maybe get an appointment made.   So that's where I am at with the whole band thing. I don't know yet if the new doctor will help with it or not. Even if he won't I gotta have a real doctor. and seeing all the tests/referalls my boyfriend has from him so far. At least I know hes the type that wan't to get to the bottom of things. He even ordered a couple of tests that my BF didn't really need yet but he wanted to know the data.   So I'm depressed about the whole thing. Having trouble sleeping lately. My #'s are good for my sleep apnea AHI 2.9 so It's not that. But I either sleep for 5 hours and can't sleep anymore, can't get to sleep in the first place.. Or sleep for a 14 hour stretch. (when I take Melatonin to get to sleep).   Worried about my daughter. She had her tonsils/adinoids removed on wensday. So I'm watching her closely. She's doing great though so I shouldn't be so worried. But shes had a couple of minor freak out moments. lol like the first time she looked at her throat. its all yellow. Where they lazered it all out. then was an episode of black stools. Which was to be expected but if it happens again gotta call the doc. minor small spells of dizzyness or nausea. Having to be on a mushy diet is frustrating her. lol For me I think its good practice. Todays freak out moment was when she realized her uvula(sp?) Was twice it's normal size.   We had a leak of our furnace/AC the other day and maitenence left a blower in our hallway to help dry out the carpet. I hit it wensday and I think my middle toe is broke at least its seriously bruised. It not really painfull so It may not be broke. But it looks bad. And I can still move it. So last night I bought myself a new pair of slippers. Being dibetic I knew I should't run around in my socks but I did it anyhow. I can't wear typical womens slip on backless slippers. They seem to scrunch my toes. And get painfull, despite the fact I keep my nails trimmed well. so I gave my old pairs to my daughter. Got a pair that look like mocasins but are soft material with nice real rubber soles.   Another thing i gotta do monday is start seeing a podiatrist. Just about all shoes hurt me anymore. In some way. And I can't afford to be buying shoes over and over. Besides maybe there could be something more to help with the neuropathy I have. Have to see.
Telecia

Telecia

5
 

Inspiration

Wow i just got done reading the 100+ thread and I am in awe of everyone and now very hopeful for myself. I find I am excidedly awaiting the phone call I will get that sets the first appointment.   I watched several of my family members go through weight loss surgerys in the past 20 years with mixed and sometimes horrid results. To the effect I SWORE I would never do the same. And Here I am now wishing it would go faster. My stepmom had the bypass done when I was in highschool and she did lose weight but had all the troubles afterwards too. The dumping and stuck food and numerous other problems. She ended up having to be put on perscriptions for several problems with her stomach and suffered massive malnutrition. But after all my research and the hours spent reading this list I see now where alot of her problems came from. Lack of knowledge and support is one. second she never really changed her diet. She continued to eat alot out, eat junk food, drink while eating. And just about lived on mashed potatoes and jello. Basicly she did all the wrong things expecting that the surgery would do it for her. She never really lost more then her first 100lbs. But I see with the advanced knowledge I will have I can do MUCH Better. Her brother also had the band and surgery both and was over 500 lbs when he died. For the same reasons. Expecting the surgery to do it for him.   I know I will have to make lifelong changes. And me and my DH have been discussing this. And at first he was hesitant. Didn't want me to go the surgery route but now hes starting to be more positive about it. Hopefully with more education he will be as excited about it as I am now. Either way he will support my decision. Anything he says to keep me around longer is a great thing He is so awesome.
Telecia

Telecia

1
 

Start in the process

Friday I asked my Doctor what she thought of the possiblity of my having a lap bad and she was overjoyed. I had lost 10 pounds from last months dr visit which she was tickled about but I was less enthusiastic about it. since the month before that i had gained 30. Anyhow she said she would start the process of making me a refferal. Now I have to wait for them to call me.   A bit about me and my weight.. I'm 39 years old and 451 lbs. My first sign that I was to have trouble with my weight came at the age of 18 when my father came down with cancer. He had to retire from work and I became his caretaker. Up till then I spent 80% of my free time walking everywhere I went, ridding my bike and just generally being active. I was no big deal to walk 5 miles to go someplace or ride my bike. So by the time summer ended and my senior year hit i had gained 40lbs. Before this i was average sized.   1 year after I graduated. I got pregnant & married. I had a old fashioned doctor who's ideals of excersice and diet were anchient YOUR EATING FOR TWO NOW! He said. Between the Dr. and my in laws (whom we lived with because of the pregnancy, wouldn't even let me open the garage door myself, or walk anywhere, and pushed food at me constantly) 75 more pounds came on. Which of course started the vicious cycle of yo-yo-ing. 2 years later: Back injury at work and hospitalized for exhaustion.   5 years later Pregnant again gained MUCH less weight with my daughter. But after her birth was a nightmare. She was collicy and screamed 8-10 hours a day and wanted to nurse every 20-30. minutes. And my marriage was falling apart. Depression set in and I had migraine troubles. And the medicines knocked me out for a day at a time. Not even sure how much weight I gained during that period but it was ALlOT.   Because of added weight and a hillbilly doc who treated my back injury I started having to adapt my life for my back. Becoming less active.   3 years later another pregnancy. And more health problems. Developed Sleep apnea and became diabetic. I spent 90% of this pregnancy falling asleep constantly. Developed MRSA on top of it all.   5 more years in a horrid marriage where my husband was mentally abusive, and untreated depression on top of all the other health problems. several hospitalizations for cellulitis complicated by M.R.S.A   Then I met my current boyfriend. 2 years later I left my marriage of 13 years and moved in with my boyfriend.   At my highest point I hit 650 lbs. In the first 2 years of living with my current partner I lost 250 lbs! And came out of depression.   Then i hit a plateu where I hovered at 400 pounds give or take 10 lbs. A month ago i discovered I was gaining again. 30 lbs. I have come to a point in my life that I want to control my life and not let everything else control me.   Some of my goals are.   Short term goals ================ Get my diabetes under better control
Have the Lap band surgery done
Handle the Back pain problem so I can exercise more.

Encourage my family to have better eating habits as I learn and adapt my own
Longer term goals ================ Lose around 200-250 lbs
Stop Smoking
Exercise and be able to stand to do things more like average people do.

NOT Need a electric cart to shop with.

Be able to fit behind the wheel of our van or car
STOP being a homebody and get out more
not spend 80% of my day sitting here 70% of that on the computer.

Be a better example to my children. So maybe my daughter will wake up and see she's heading for the same place I am in if she doesn't change.

Hopefully reduce the # of medications I am on. Diabetes, blood pressure and sleep apnea to all improve with better health.
I have been researching the surgery and pre & post op suggestions and experiences from this forum and several other sites. And I believe I can do this. It will be slow at first since I cannot exercise much. My back limits me so much and I hate that.   Next visit to the doctor I am going to ask for a non medication means of handling the pain Like a T.E.N.S. unit. Hopefully one with a muscle stim setting also. Because I know why my backs messed up.   Years ago when I had my work injury my doc put me on pain pills and muscle relaxer and put me to bed. There was no therapy afterwards at all. So I think that if I can get the muscles back in shape I should be able to stand more. Getting weight off of course will help this allot. But I will need to be able to exercise as I am losing weight. For the surgery to to be a true effect tool.  
Telecia

Telecia

2
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