Miss Mac

The first incident I remember was at about fifty pounds. I went to see a pain specialist that I see every three-four months. When they got me on the procedure table, they went through the "time-out" and I heard him whisper to his nurse "Do we have the right patient on the table? She doesn't look like it's the right patient. So they did the "time-out" over again. That's when I told him it was really me, only fifty pounds less of me.

Is that for the guys who don't have robes or yoga pants?

The first incident I remember was at about fifty pounds. I went to see a pain specialist that I see every three-four months. When they got me on the procedure table, they went through the "time-out" and I heard him whisper to his nurse "Do we have the right patient on the table? She doesn't look like it's the right patient. So they did the "time-out" over again. That's when I told him it was really me, only fifty pounds less of me.

The comment that bothers me is that he wants you to watch him eat. I had a mean old rotten ex-husband who wanted me to watch him watch TV and not leave the room, even to go to bed. That's control and intentional sabotage.
Does he feel like he is losing something if you lose more weight. Would he have a tantrum if you eat grilled chicken salad while he eats a Big Mac of if you do something else while he eats?
Tell us more about the dynamic working here. It might make a difference in what direction we go with our comments. I am all for walking away from jerks - life is too short to live with a jerk. Others feel that more direct conversation or self-examination is the way to go. Please clue us in on where you stand with him, apart from the weight loss issue.

My mother was not a bariatric patient, but she became pregnant with my youngest brother when she was 44. For the first five months she thought she was going through the change. Then the change started to kick!

My boyfriend of nine years (I call him my "hubby man") has never said "I love you". But he DOES "I love you" every day. He brings me flowers that he planted in his garden just for me. He is a much better cook than I ever hope to be, so he does not leave me to struggle.
He does the cooking and picks up anything thing at the store that I want. He cooks according to my dietary needs and has adjusted himself to eat the same foods so as to not trip me up with temptation. He comes directly home from work every day and is glad to provide for me.
He has stayed by my side through some serious illnesses and has been completely supportive of my weight loss experience. Yesterday, he left out for errands and asked e for a kiss before he went out the door. That's a new one, because I am always asking HIM for a kiss before he leaves for somewhere. He is always bringing home little "surprises" from menards. When he goes away on business trips, he calls me every evening. He even took me on the last business trip with him (which was a three-day conference held at a lovely wooded resort).
There a so many little things that he does that I will accept as support, because he just does not express himself verbally. I love men, but they are sooooooooo hard to train!
I hope your man comes around and acknowledges how hard you are working on improving your health and quality of life. In the meantime, keep your antennas out for the non-verbal clues. And, get more playful yourself. Show him that these improvements are giving you some energy and spunk that will be to his advantage in the dark.

I actually heard this from the pulpit once. "You don't have to lie, but you don't have to tell everything you know."
In Poor Richard's Almanac, Ben Franklin said, "To whom thy secrets thou doest tell, to them thy freedom thou doest sell."

My mother was not a bariatric patient, but she became pregnant with my youngest brother when she was 44. For the first five months she thought she was going through the change. Then the change started to kick!

My mother was not a bariatric patient, but she became pregnant with my youngest brother when she was 44. For the first five months she thought she was going through the change. Then the change started to kick!

Search issue.....if your query has more than one word, put quotes around it. I typed in "Protein Cakes" and got two results, one was this thread. But did you notice that "Protein cakes" is not in the topic, but was in the content. Also make sure you check that little drop down menu just left of the search symbol. If it is not set to FORUMS, you will not get as productive a search. This function is such a crapshoot.
I just finished a 45 minute Zumba workout and came into the kitchen for a Protein snack. So, I tried this recipe with a variation. I used vanilla Protein Powder, 1/4 teaspoon of baking soda, 4 tablespoons of milk, and 1/4 of a sugar free vanilla pudding packet. 45 seconds gave me a fluffy cupcake that smelled awesome.
I have some low cal whip cream but decided to try making a frosting with some coconut oil that I recently purchased. I melted it and mixed it with the rest of the pudding powder. OMG! I will do this more often. Next time I am going to use coconut oil in place of the Syrup.< /p>

"Thank you for your sudden concern about my health, but my medical decisions are between my doctor and me. I will not discuss this again. Here is my doctor's number in case you want to call him and tell him that you disagree with his diagnosis."

This is kind of a gross analogy, but picture finding your stomach lying in the street all beat up with a bat and needing 30 stitches. Would you expect that stomach to handle meat and veggies and apple pie? Nope. Not even hamburgers or fig bars. It is going to need fluids and pureed foods for a minute until it gets some functionality back.
Go easy on your new tummy. It has been through a lot. Your new stomach is your new boss now. You will find out soon enough. The hamburgers and Wendy's chili will still be there next month. Tell your taste buds to scram for a while. This is not pleasure time. It is muddle through the first month, then regular foods will be on the near horizon.
From what I know about my own instructions and what I have seen others post, the process varies - a lot. Mine was full liquids at day three. Purees at week 1 1/2, soft foods at 2 1/2 weeks and whole foods at 4 1/2 weeks. Not ashamed to say that my first stop on the way home from that visit, was Wendy's - and yes, I got the chili.

It sounds like your bariatric team let you down by not informing you better about your options and consequences. Well, you can't undo your sleeve, so you may as well hop on for the ride.
The first month is tough. Not only are you healing, but your body which has been used to indulging itself, is now being told "no" or "let's find an option for that".
Hopefully your surgeon gave you a meal plan to follow that will graduate you from liquids, to purees, to soft mushies, to regular cooked food. For many of us that takes four to six weeks.
You will feel so much better when you start soft mushies and may start to get some energy back. The foods that you have to leave behind are the ones that really weren't food at all. Instead of nutrition for your mechanical human body that your soul lives in, you were probably eating mostly factory edibles made from highly processed ingredients.
Now you can focus on what it takes to keep a human being alive. You will find that the human body does not need nearly as much food as we thought it did to thrive from day to day. As the pounds drop off, you will feel more encouraged that maybe you did do the right thing and will have a better quality of life because of it.
Worry is a waste of time. Poo poo happens in this life, whether it is spraining an ankle or getting reflux, or something more tragic and heart-breaking.
Hang in there kiddo. You have already made it through two weeks and lived to tell about. Keep coming here for encouragement. I wish you good luck and good health.

It is no secret that bariatric surgery exposes the raw dynamics of our relationships. That is not necessarily a bad thing. People just can't keep their mouths shut and you will very quickly find out what people really think about you. Then you have to deal with it and distance yourself from toxic interaction.
People that you thought were your friends can be mean and unsupportive.
Family can be mean and unsupportive.
Workmates can be mean and unsupportive.
Often when a marriage breaks down after you begin to lose weight, it was already broken before your surgery. Insecurities and jealousies can only hide for so long.
As you lose weight you gain confidence. Spousse find out that you can speak up for yourself, and they don't like it. They may throw roadblocks in your way, like deliberately bring home junk and eating it right in your face. The balance of control in a marriage can change.
So, just be prepared for what may come. If your mate can't be supportive of you being healthy and happy, then they don't deserve to be with you. You will either have to fix or flee.

I had a barrium swallow test done at one year. It was easy to see just how small my new sleeve was and where it is located inside my body. I agree that you should get that test. It will be just as good as having a picture of your stomach.
Diplomacy will get you farther with that surgeon than coming in with a threat to sue for malpractice. Give him a chance to follow-up on how / why you can eat more than you should be at this time.
One thing I do if someone serves me lumberjack's portion is to set off the amount I should be eating and leave the rest alone. As the daughter of a scientist, I know good and well that "You cannot control that which you do not measure."
To be successful, you do need to find that delicate balance between what you want to eat and what limitations your sleeve should be providing. To eat that much dense Protein without realizing it, is what nutritionists call "mindless eating". I could do it easily with potato chips, A burger and fries, or a pint ice cream.
While you are waiting for that appointment with your bariatric team, start practicing control. Think of your taste buds as a petulant child who holds your success hostage. I used to tell my girls when they were little "Me Mommy - You Kid."

After two failed marriages (23 years and ten years), I was starting to think that all men were alike. My first hubby told me I was too ugly to live because I had gained weight. My second hubby not only mistook me for a punching bag, he said he was sick and tired of looking at my ugly face. Granted, I am no beauty queen, but my face won't scare children either.

I took a two year break after divorce #2 to give myself some time to emotionally regroup. As far as I was concerned all the men in the world could just tie it in a knot. Then, I met a gentleman from the Mediterranean island of Malta. I am 5'3" and weighed 185 at the time. He is 6'2" tall and thin as a stick. Together we looked like a pencil and an apple. Because of surgeries and orthopedic problems, I gained another 50 pounds and he was allright with that and even made comments that indicated he was probably a chubby chaser.
As my overall health deteriorated and I had a stroke due to high blood pressure, I just had to deal with the necessity of having bariatric surgery. We talked about it a lot, and about how thin is too thin. We both agreed that I did not need to be a size 2 with my bones sticking out, but at least 70-80 pounds had to go.
It is interesting that now that I am close to goal, he is ok with the saggy parts and has let it be known that it makes no difference to him about floppy bits. Both of us are concerned about the brutality of skin removal and whether it is even worth the trouble at the age of 64. If I were 20, I would be more willing, but the older I get, the less I care about impressing anyone at all.
If your man says he is more concerned about your health than your jiggle, take his word for it. The man loves you and sounds like he is a gift from God like my man is. They are not all alike any more than women are all alike. Buy a good girdle for when you are on a trampoline and don't worry about it.

I had a barrium swallow test done at one year. It was easy to see just how small my new sleeve was and where it is located inside my body. I agree that you should get that test. It will be just as good as having a picture of your stomach.
Diplomacy will get you farther with that surgeon than coming in with a threat to sue for malpractice. Give him a chance to follow-up on how / why you can eat more than you should be at this time.
One thing I do if someone serves me lumberjack's portion is to set off the amount I should be eating and leave the rest alone. As the daughter of a scientist, I know good and well that "You cannot control that which you do not measure."
To be successful, you do need to find that delicate balance between what you want to eat and what limitations your sleeve should be providing. To eat that much dense Protein without realizing it, is what nutritionists call "mindless eating". I could do it easily with potato chips, A burger and fries, or a pint ice cream.
While you are waiting for that appointment with your bariatric team, start practicing control. Think of your taste buds as a petulant child who holds your success hostage. I used to tell my girls when they were little "Me Mommy - You Kid."

I'll have to admit that my posts are not as prolific as they used to be. It is discouraging to respond to a newbie or even some one six months out who reveals a serious indiscretion and then calls me a "goody two shoes" for giving a sane and medically sound response. For the most part, I have passed the torch on to those who have been around about a year. At 2 1/2 years I don't feel so appreciated. Hopefully, there will be enough newbies who are serious enough with this to take their teams' recommendations. A lot of the veterans' success is due to following doctor's orders. There is nothing magic about it.

Just like Babbs, the older I get, the less I care about other people's drama, and the less I put up with creeps. Find the person who will tell you the brutal truth. At least you will know what you are dealing with instead of tormenting yourself with guessing. Throw your own party and don't invite the creep.

Per Comment 17 and the Blogspot: One BS alarm for me was the misrepresentation that no insurance pays for bariatric surgery and the expense for everyone is totally out of pocket.
MOST insurance pays for a great part of the cost of surgery, if not all.
In that regard, I got my sleeve for $150.
By the way, I am 2 1/2 years out and far healthier and happier than I was with a 53" belly.

It sounds like your bariatric team let you down by not informing you better about your options and consequences. Well, you can't undo your sleeve, so you may as well hop on for the ride.
The first month is tough. Not only are you healing, but your body which has been used to indulging itself, is now being told "no" or "let's find an option for that".
Hopefully your surgeon gave you a meal plan to follow that will graduate you from liquids, to purees, to soft mushies, to regular cooked food. For many of us that takes four to six weeks.
You will feel so much better when you start soft mushies and may start to get some energy back. The foods that you have to leave behind are the ones that really weren't food at all. Instead of nutrition for your mechanical human body that your soul lives in, you were probably eating mostly factory edibles made from highly processed ingredients.
Now you can focus on what it takes to keep a human being alive. You will find that the human body does not need nearly as much food as we thought it did to thrive from day to day. As the pounds drop off, you will feel more encouraged that maybe you did do the right thing and will have a better quality of life because of it.
Worry is a waste of time. Poo poo happens in this life, whether it is spraining an ankle or getting reflux, or something more tragic and heart-breaking.
Hang in there kiddo. You have already made it through two weeks and lived to tell about. Keep coming here for encouragement. I wish you good luck and good health.

When I told my GP I was considering WLS, he gave me the name of the surgeon at the bariatric clinic at Loyola University Medical Center Hospital.
Get a copy of your medical records. Call a hospital that has a bariatric program and ask them if they could recommend a GP who is supportive of WLS.

When I told my GP I was considering WLS, he gave me the name of the surgeon at the bariatric clinic at Loyola University Medical Center Hospital.
Get a copy of your medical records. Call a hospital that has a bariatric program and ask them if they could recommend a GP who is supportive of WLS.

It is no secret that bariatric surgery exposes the raw dynamics of our relationships. That is not necessarily a bad thing. People just can't keep their mouths shut and you will very quickly find out what people really think about you. Then you have to deal with it and distance yourself from toxic interaction.
People that you thought were your friends can be mean and unsupportive.
Family can be mean and unsupportive.
Workmates can be mean and unsupportive.
Often when a marriage breaks down after you begin to lose weight, it was already broken before your surgery. Insecurities and jealousies can only hide for so long.
As you lose weight you gain confidence. Spousse find out that you can speak up for yourself, and they don't like it. They may throw roadblocks in your way, like deliberately bring home junk and eating it right in your face. The balance of control in a marriage can change.
So, just be prepared for what may come. If your mate can't be supportive of you being healthy and happy, then they don't deserve to be with you. You will either have to fix or flee.

It sounds like your bariatric team let you down by not informing you better about your options and consequences. Well, you can't undo your sleeve, so you may as well hop on for the ride.
The first month is tough. Not only are you healing, but your body which has been used to indulging itself, is now being told "no" or "let's find an option for that".
Hopefully your surgeon gave you a meal plan to follow that will graduate you from liquids, to purees, to soft mushies, to regular cooked food. For many of us that takes four to six weeks.
You will feel so much better when you start soft mushies and may start to get some energy back. The foods that you have to leave behind are the ones that really weren't food at all. Instead of nutrition for your mechanical human body that your soul lives in, you were probably eating mostly factory edibles made from highly processed ingredients.
Now you can focus on what it takes to keep a human being alive. You will find that the human body does not need nearly as much food as we thought it did to thrive from day to day. As the pounds drop off, you will feel more encouraged that maybe you did do the right thing and will have a better quality of life because of it.
Worry is a waste of time. Poo poo happens in this life, whether it is spraining an ankle or getting reflux, or something more tragic and heart-breaking.
Hang in there kiddo. You have already made it through two weeks and lived to tell about. Keep coming here for encouragement. I wish you good luck and good health.