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So yesterday was the 4 year anniversary of my brother's death (just one of many holidays ruined for me). I always find myself soul searching and reaching for hope around this time of year so here's today's random ponderings......
I saw a documentary about Gloria Vanderbilt a couple months ago. I only caught the last 1/2 hour of it, but found it very moving. Despite her amazing success in the business/fashion world, her personal life was really quite tragic. Her first husband physically beat her, her next two marriages ended in divorce and her fourth husband died during a heart bypass surgery. Her son committed suicide in front of her when he was just 23 years old by jumping from her 14th floor apartment. She was standing just a few feet away. Her youngest son is Anderson Cooper, a successful journalist for CNN. He was just two years younger than his brother and was interviewed as part of this documentary.
There were two quotes from this show that really struck a chord with me. One was from Gloria...." It's only after you accept that life is a tragedy that you can start to live" and the other from Anderson...."You have to learn to live in the world without knowing the why"......That's the one I am personally working on now.
Anyways, I know this isn't directly WLS related, but I find their strength and success in the face of loss and grief to be inspiring and thought I'd share.

So yesterday was the 4 year anniversary of my brother's death (just one of many holidays ruined for me). I always find myself soul searching and reaching for hope around this time of year so here's today's random ponderings......
I saw a documentary about Gloria Vanderbilt a couple months ago. I only caught the last 1/2 hour of it, but found it very moving. Despite her amazing success in the business/fashion world, her personal life was really quite tragic. Her first husband physically beat her, her next two marriages ended in divorce and her fourth husband died during a heart bypass surgery. Her son committed suicide in front of her when he was just 23 years old by jumping from her 14th floor apartment. She was standing just a few feet away. Her youngest son is Anderson Cooper, a successful journalist for CNN. He was just two years younger than his brother and was interviewed as part of this documentary.
There were two quotes from this show that really struck a chord with me. One was from Gloria...." It's only after you accept that life is a tragedy that you can start to live" and the other from Anderson...."You have to learn to live in the world without knowing the why"......That's the one I am personally working on now.
Anyways, I know this isn't directly WLS related, but I find their strength and success in the face of loss and grief to be inspiring and thought I'd share.

So yesterday was the 4 year anniversary of my brother's death (just one of many holidays ruined for me). I always find myself soul searching and reaching for hope around this time of year so here's today's random ponderings......
I saw a documentary about Gloria Vanderbilt a couple months ago. I only caught the last 1/2 hour of it, but found it very moving. Despite her amazing success in the business/fashion world, her personal life was really quite tragic. Her first husband physically beat her, her next two marriages ended in divorce and her fourth husband died during a heart bypass surgery. Her son committed suicide in front of her when he was just 23 years old by jumping from her 14th floor apartment. She was standing just a few feet away. Her youngest son is Anderson Cooper, a successful journalist for CNN. He was just two years younger than his brother and was interviewed as part of this documentary.
There were two quotes from this show that really struck a chord with me. One was from Gloria...." It's only after you accept that life is a tragedy that you can start to live" and the other from Anderson...."You have to learn to live in the world without knowing the why"......That's the one I am personally working on now.
Anyways, I know this isn't directly WLS related, but I find their strength and success in the face of loss and grief to be inspiring and thought I'd share.

I would certainly like to hear from the veteran veterans about ways to overcome the struggles that come up at those 3 , 4, 5 year marks. i keep getting hints that things are gonna change, so am feeling a little apprehensive as I approach the 3 year mark. I think details about the new challenges and advice from those that have been there done that would be extremely helpful in preparing for the future. I welcome your advice.

So yesterday was the 4 year anniversary of my brother's death (just one of many holidays ruined for me). I always find myself soul searching and reaching for hope around this time of year so here's today's random ponderings......
I saw a documentary about Gloria Vanderbilt a couple months ago. I only caught the last 1/2 hour of it, but found it very moving. Despite her amazing success in the business/fashion world, her personal life was really quite tragic. Her first husband physically beat her, her next two marriages ended in divorce and her fourth husband died during a heart bypass surgery. Her son committed suicide in front of her when he was just 23 years old by jumping from her 14th floor apartment. She was standing just a few feet away. Her youngest son is Anderson Cooper, a successful journalist for CNN. He was just two years younger than his brother and was interviewed as part of this documentary.
There were two quotes from this show that really struck a chord with me. One was from Gloria...." It's only after you accept that life is a tragedy that you can start to live" and the other from Anderson...."You have to learn to live in the world without knowing the why"......That's the one I am personally working on now.
Anyways, I know this isn't directly WLS related, but I find their strength and success in the face of loss and grief to be inspiring and thought I'd share.

So yesterday was the 4 year anniversary of my brother's death (just one of many holidays ruined for me). I always find myself soul searching and reaching for hope around this time of year so here's today's random ponderings......
I saw a documentary about Gloria Vanderbilt a couple months ago. I only caught the last 1/2 hour of it, but found it very moving. Despite her amazing success in the business/fashion world, her personal life was really quite tragic. Her first husband physically beat her, her next two marriages ended in divorce and her fourth husband died during a heart bypass surgery. Her son committed suicide in front of her when he was just 23 years old by jumping from her 14th floor apartment. She was standing just a few feet away. Her youngest son is Anderson Cooper, a successful journalist for CNN. He was just two years younger than his brother and was interviewed as part of this documentary.
There were two quotes from this show that really struck a chord with me. One was from Gloria...." It's only after you accept that life is a tragedy that you can start to live" and the other from Anderson...."You have to learn to live in the world without knowing the why"......That's the one I am personally working on now.
Anyways, I know this isn't directly WLS related, but I find their strength and success in the face of loss and grief to be inspiring and thought I'd share.

So yesterday was the 4 year anniversary of my brother's death (just one of many holidays ruined for me). I always find myself soul searching and reaching for hope around this time of year so here's today's random ponderings......
I saw a documentary about Gloria Vanderbilt a couple months ago. I only caught the last 1/2 hour of it, but found it very moving. Despite her amazing success in the business/fashion world, her personal life was really quite tragic. Her first husband physically beat her, her next two marriages ended in divorce and her fourth husband died during a heart bypass surgery. Her son committed suicide in front of her when he was just 23 years old by jumping from her 14th floor apartment. She was standing just a few feet away. Her youngest son is Anderson Cooper, a successful journalist for CNN. He was just two years younger than his brother and was interviewed as part of this documentary.
There were two quotes from this show that really struck a chord with me. One was from Gloria...." It's only after you accept that life is a tragedy that you can start to live" and the other from Anderson...."You have to learn to live in the world without knowing the why"......That's the one I am personally working on now.
Anyways, I know this isn't directly WLS related, but I find their strength and success in the face of loss and grief to be inspiring and thought I'd share.

So yesterday was the 4 year anniversary of my brother's death (just one of many holidays ruined for me). I always find myself soul searching and reaching for hope around this time of year so here's today's random ponderings......
I saw a documentary about Gloria Vanderbilt a couple months ago. I only caught the last 1/2 hour of it, but found it very moving. Despite her amazing success in the business/fashion world, her personal life was really quite tragic. Her first husband physically beat her, her next two marriages ended in divorce and her fourth husband died during a heart bypass surgery. Her son committed suicide in front of her when he was just 23 years old by jumping from her 14th floor apartment. She was standing just a few feet away. Her youngest son is Anderson Cooper, a successful journalist for CNN. He was just two years younger than his brother and was interviewed as part of this documentary.
There were two quotes from this show that really struck a chord with me. One was from Gloria...." It's only after you accept that life is a tragedy that you can start to live" and the other from Anderson...."You have to learn to live in the world without knowing the why"......That's the one I am personally working on now.
Anyways, I know this isn't directly WLS related, but I find their strength and success in the face of loss and grief to be inspiring and thought I'd share.

So yesterday was the 4 year anniversary of my brother's death (just one of many holidays ruined for me). I always find myself soul searching and reaching for hope around this time of year so here's today's random ponderings......
I saw a documentary about Gloria Vanderbilt a couple months ago. I only caught the last 1/2 hour of it, but found it very moving. Despite her amazing success in the business/fashion world, her personal life was really quite tragic. Her first husband physically beat her, her next two marriages ended in divorce and her fourth husband died during a heart bypass surgery. Her son committed suicide in front of her when he was just 23 years old by jumping from her 14th floor apartment. She was standing just a few feet away. Her youngest son is Anderson Cooper, a successful journalist for CNN. He was just two years younger than his brother and was interviewed as part of this documentary.
There were two quotes from this show that really struck a chord with me. One was from Gloria...." It's only after you accept that life is a tragedy that you can start to live" and the other from Anderson...."You have to learn to live in the world without knowing the why"......That's the one I am personally working on now.
Anyways, I know this isn't directly WLS related, but I find their strength and success in the face of loss and grief to be inspiring and thought I'd share.

So yesterday was the 4 year anniversary of my brother's death (just one of many holidays ruined for me). I always find myself soul searching and reaching for hope around this time of year so here's today's random ponderings......
I saw a documentary about Gloria Vanderbilt a couple months ago. I only caught the last 1/2 hour of it, but found it very moving. Despite her amazing success in the business/fashion world, her personal life was really quite tragic. Her first husband physically beat her, her next two marriages ended in divorce and her fourth husband died during a heart bypass surgery. Her son committed suicide in front of her when he was just 23 years old by jumping from her 14th floor apartment. She was standing just a few feet away. Her youngest son is Anderson Cooper, a successful journalist for CNN. He was just two years younger than his brother and was interviewed as part of this documentary.
There were two quotes from this show that really struck a chord with me. One was from Gloria...." It's only after you accept that life is a tragedy that you can start to live" and the other from Anderson...."You have to learn to live in the world without knowing the why"......That's the one I am personally working on now.
Anyways, I know this isn't directly WLS related, but I find their strength and success in the face of loss and grief to be inspiring and thought I'd share.

I'm three years post op. I think the biggest mistake I have made was to believe that I was "normal" . I felt good about my weight for the first time in my adult life. People were nicer to me. I was nicer to me. It felt really good. But something clicked in my brain. I was angry for losing all those years that I didn't & couldn't live a normal life. I was angry for losing my Father to Alzheimer's. I was angry that I had to move in with my Mother (my choice but not easy) to help her after my Father died. So what do I do when I am angry? Yep, you guessed it, I eat. All of a sudden I felt as if I had starved myself for three years so I ate whatever I wanted. I didn't plan any meals and I grazed all day. That's what normal people do, right? Anyway I was maintaining for a year ,even though I didn't reach my goal. Then maintenance turned into fighting 3 -5 pounds, up and down, up and down. Then it turned into weight gain that refuses to budge. I'm up 18 pounds and I know what I'm supposed to do but I don't know why I don't do it.

I will be three years post-op in September. Fortunately for me, I have maintained without a ton of effort in year three. I fluctuate within 3 pounds of my goal weight. My scale ritual every morning is what keeps me at that weight. I am accountable every single day, and the few times I have seen my weight start to creep up, I make an immediate change, that day, and within a few days I'm right back down to where I was. I would say the scale is pretty much my only real reason for success, lol. I would also give some credit to my b*tchy little sleeve that made me puke everything for most of year 2, so now I have very little desire to eat anything bad for me because while it doesn't make it as sick as it used to make me, I am SO sick of barfing that I'm just not interested in junk food.
I don't feel like I had any major changes in year three other than that I got some real ambition back in life. To be fair, I own several businesses and I am ambitious I suppose, but I started working on long term educational goals again, which I hadn't really thought much about. I don't feel like my life is on hold until I lose weight anymore, so all of the time I save coming up with new diets and excessively exercising I now spend on finding new ways to make myself better.
I don't really have anything I'd do differently in year three. This was a pretty good year. It's the first year I've maintained at this low of weight in my entire life without feeling like I was miserable and starving and I've finally really started to feel like a legitimately normal person. I think part of this was being done with plastics. I still tend to buy too much clothing because I am elated it all fits me, but eh, there are worse problems to have, lol.
Oops, I just read your last question...wait, are we supposed to start gaining after year three or during year three? I was all excited that I hadn't gained weight, but I'm going to be bummed if the upcoming year is the one to worry about! My advice though would be to weigh yourself everyday. As soon as you slack off, get complacent and start having too much fun with booze and pizza, you gain weight. Every single day I remember that I can be fat again with very little effort, and I think about that when making decisions. To be fair though, I'm largely not interested in food so that makes it easier, lol.

Talk with a counselor or schedule an appoint with your psychologist you had for your surgery. Does your work have an employee assistance program? Take one day at a time and if need be file for intermittent FMLA.
Sent from my SM-G800R4 using the BariatricPal App

I am so sorry for your loss.
I agree, be gentle with yourself.
When you are able, you may want to consider some grief counseling. It can be very helpful. My old church used to have a really good grief recovery group.
Sending hugs.

I would have reacted the same as your surgeon. Why should he bother wasting his time if you are not going to do your part? Not to mention risking serious complications by eating bacon 1 week after having your stomach cut open along its entire length!

My surgeon gave me a list of recommended blood tests to do at 3, 6. 12 months and annually after that. I took it to my PCP and he has taken care of all of that. My OB/Gyn actually offered to do the bloodwork, too. That's the only followup care I ever needed. I have a gastroenterologist that could have stepped in if I'd had any problems or my PCP would have referred me to a bariatric specialist.

I was on liquids for 34 days so I know what you mean. I kept it interesting by experimenting with different Protein powders and Torani syrups to invent new Protein shake flavors. I also added unflavored Protein to every broth and pureed/strained cream Soup I could find. I rarely had to eat the same thing more than a couple times unless I really liked to. In fact, even now I still have a Protein Shake nearly every day.
But you'd be surprised, liquids may become your new best friend. I've been maintaining below goal for over 20 months and going back to full liquid Protein diet for a few days here and there is a great way to drop a couple pounds after eating off plan over holidays and vacations. Great tool to have.

I almost forgot the most important things.....all nuts and nut butters. They are my ultimate slider food and I can't stop eating them. I could finish off a whole jar or a 1000 calories worth of nuts without blinking, so they do not come anywhere near my mouth.

I'm a little confused.... Were your comments in response to my post? I assume so since it was quoted, but I am 28 months out, not 2 months. I can eat anything and everything with no problems, including steak, seafood, salads, and cheesecake No pain, no nausea, no GERD, no vomiting, etc. I can comfortably eat 4-8 oz at a time, depending on the density. I get at least 60-80g Protein and 80-100oz fluids everyday and have since 5 days postop. Definitely no stricture, just great restriction.

@@docpaddle you may have to sacrifice for a little while, but know that you will be eating your wife's delicious meals again.. Once I passed goal, there's nothing I can't and don't eat....in moderation.

I guess I've got a below average capacity. At 8 weeks a could barely finish 2 tablespoons and then I'd be stuffed for 1/2 day. Even a piece of string cheese was two meals. Now I'm 28 months out and have been maintaining below goal for over a year and a half. If it's mostly liquid (like soup) I MIGHT be able to finish a whole cup of something. But anything with any density, I'm limited to about 1/2 cup. I get in what I need by eating 6-8 times/day. This has been my max capacity and hasn't really changed since about 14 months out. THANK GOODNESS!

bread, Pasta, low fat anything (cause that usually means higher carbs), fried foods, aspartame, sucralose.

bread, Pasta, low fat anything (cause that usually means higher carbs), fried foods, aspartame, sucralose.

The only thing that limits you to only losing 60% of your excess weight is you. I've lost over 100% and am maintaining easily. I eat whatever I want whenever I'm hungry....protein first, then veggies, fruit and whole grains. But I also eat ice cream, desert, bread, alcohol, cake, etc.... just everything in moderation. I do not excercise and I've never tracked or counted or measured my food. I didn't have surgery just to be on a diet the rest of my life. I do make sure I drink at least 64oz of Fluid and I do take my Vitamins (but I've always taken Vitamins, so this is no change)
Other than making much healthier food choices, my life isn't a whole lot different than preop. Unless you count Having a normal BMI, shopping in regular stores for clothes, not being in pain everyday, spending a lot less money on groceries, and being able to hike, climb stairs, etc without getting out of breath, Perhaps I am an anomaly, but I just wanted to let you know that there is more than one way to be successful and postop life does not have to be all that complicated.

I would certainly like to hear from the veteran veterans about ways to overcome the struggles that come up at those 3 , 4, 5 year marks. i keep getting hints that things are gonna change, so am feeling a little apprehensive as I approach the 3 year mark. I think details about the new challenges and advice from those that have been there done that would be extremely helpful in preparing for the future. I welcome your advice.