nay2120

This so much! Once you've decided this is the right thing for you, sure you'll have your doubts, but you will also power through all the hurdles.
Cmcrider, have you talked to anyone (psychologist, nutritionist, etc)? My Dr would not allow rescheduling more than once unless there was an extreme emergency. What does your Dr think about you rescheduling so much?
Also, this journey (at least for me) has been 80% mental and only 20% physical. If you are mentally stuck, it might be worth it to talk to a counselor to figure out why you're letting external factors sabotage your progress with this surgery.

I'm a giver in bed. I do all kinds of fun things and I've always been very flexible. However...now since losing tons of inches and weight, I have even more energy and am even more flexible.
No complaints of course from the hubby. Plus, now that my stamina has increased, we can go more rounds than before. That poor man is literally sleepy all day now since I won't let him get any sleep!

Hi, I am almost 3 weeks post op and I felt the same way before surgery. I didn't want to do it and everyone else around me seemed a lot more excited for me than I was for myself. I couldn't get excited about having surgery that was not reversible and I was scared. I also went back and forth for several years thinking I could do it myself........especially if I had to be on a liquid diet for 2 months prior to surgery. I am not really sure what finally pushed me to have the surgery, but I did and I am happy I did it. The pre-op diet wasn't easy, but my Dr. said I could have some fruit and Soups with a little bit of stuff in it and pudding, yogurt...etc., and I only had to do it for 6 days prior to surgery. Don't kill yourself with the pre-op diet. The surgery will be fine. Good luck with everything and let me know if you need to talk! I paid cash, so I had my surgery within about 10 days of my visit. I think that made it better, because I wouldn't have gone through with it if it had been a 6 month wait.

Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts! I wholeheartedly agree nay2120 - i'm pretty sure saying i'm happy with my life is a defense mechanism i use to get through the day. i also do all my shopping online. and, although my husband works out regularly, he is starting to gain weight. food took the place of sex in our lives. it needs to stop or we'll both be bedbound and have the news at our house while they take out the wall to get us out. LMBTX - thanks to you, too. it's nice to know i'm not alone out here!

Here's my story. I've never typed the whole thing out just pieces of it...
3 years ago I considered surgery with my friend who had RnY. I was always good at losing weight just could not keep it off. Plus my PCP was reluctant because she said I was still childbearing age and healthy (no comorbidities). So I went along with her and tried lots of medically supervised diets.
2 years ago, I was at work and got the call that my M-I-L dropped dead. This was a healthy woman who just dropped dead. When my husband's family asked why, the Dr literally dismissed them and said well she was overweight (50 lbs), that's what we're writing down, but if you really want to know, you can pay for an autopsy.
In shock, we just couldn't do the autopsy. That crushed all of us because she was the nicest woman you could ever meet. I loved her like she were my own mother. I looked at her husband of 44 years and her grown sons and thought...there is no way I will do this to my kids. If I drop dead, they won't be able to cop to weight...they'll HAVE to figure out why I died.
So last year I made my mind up and told my PCP I wasn't going to try any more of her "diets". I was going to do this, with or without her. She wrote the referral that visit.
You see, I've never had low self-esteem about my weight, always had a great sex life (never ashamed of my body naked), have lots of friends, and even at 375 lbs (my heaviest) men would ask me out constantly. I found that no matter my size if I was comfortable with myself, life was fine.
But the thought of dropping dead and leaving my family with no answer, was NOT an option. So I did this to get healthy not skinny not self-esteem. I've never had any health problems (other than slight anemia) and literally love my life and lifestyle. However, if me not eating cake, or Cookies (my fave sugar treat) means my kids get an answer when I die, it is so worth it to me.

In your reply you said something important - IT'S A JOURNEY. But so is life. The question is, are you going to be a driver or a passenger? You said you live an active life - well, that may be true to some extent. But that is only active as you know it - active in the eyes and mind of a large person. If you choose to move forward - and I will have more to say on that in a minute - you will find that what you used to think was an active life was a fraction of what lies ahead. The sleeping is better, life is better, you feel good about yourself (maybe for the first time in years) and yes, the sex is better -WAY BETTER and way more frequent. Becuase you want it more, because it feels better and becuase no matter how much you are loved, looking better makes a difference. It just does. I know that because now I am officially a Hottie again. LOLx10. I still enjoy a few beers now and then - I did not for quite a while, but now I do and it is working fine for me. BUT,here is my sage advice. Make sure that you really want to do this. If you are on the fence and not comitted to that journey - with all its ups and downs and rocky roads - you are far far less likely to feel good about your decision, you may even regret it, and may unintentionally (?) undermine your success. What concerns me the most is that on day one of the liquid diet you are having second thoughts. That is really troubling. It gets way worse before it gets better. Heck, on day one I was thinking that it was not so bad. Day 10 -- I was a bit gritchy, but not day 1. After surgery, I had problems eating certain foods and had problems keeping food down for a while, but now a year out all is settled and my body and I are friends again and food is not an issue. I think you need to really decide what you want. I say that becuase it isn't an easy path and there is no turning back. It is a life changing decision and a lifestyle changing decision. So think it through. Now as for me, I can only say this - I look frickin' great, I am not self conscious anymore, I have all new clothes - good stuff baby - Versace, Halston coture, you know why?, because I look good, I deserve it, I have earned it and because I am never going to be fat again. And guess what else, I am chasing my wife around the house like a bad looney tunes cartoon. We have gone from one time per two to three weeks to 3 times a week and some times twice on Saturday - just because I can. And now that I am 100 pounds lighter I can catch her every time. She used run between the sofa and the arm chair and I had to go all the way around and she would get away... not any more. Although I am pretty sure she lets me catch her - because she wants to be caught by her svelte husband. Way more fun than her old fat one. And almost 1.5 inches more of a husband and less of a belly (TMI?). I think that is why she slows down on the corners. So a little humor, a little sage advice, and all the best wishes. Read as much as you can on this site. There is every experience, every perspective, and people that are so willing to help and be there for you as much as possible. THHHH That's all Folks......

I wish I could say some words of wisdom to help.
I will say that I have a wonderful life also, but I'm not happy. Maybe that's part of the difference. I am tired of being the heaviest in my group of friends. I miss my physical relationship with my husband. He's over weight also. We joke & say only one of us can be overweight. I am tired of not wanting to do anything bx I feel like I won't fit in. I hate that I can't go into any store & buy clothes or even shoes. I can only get my bras online bx even Lane Bryant doesn't carry my size. I feel trapped in this body & I want help to get out.
For those reasons, & so many more, I am so excited about finally taking control of my life & body.
I know that people don't always succeed at this, but that doesn't mean that I won't. I am trying really hard to realize that when I make bad food choices, my body feels crappy, my self worth feels crappy. I can control this.
I am on a 2 week 3 Protein shakes a day preop. I have just finished the 1st week. My surgery is 9/3. I will say that the 1st 4 day were hell. I cried every day. But even though I cried & felt sorry for myself, I didn't cheat. Not one lick or bite. My resolve is much too strong now. I am now not hungy at all. I have to force myself to have 3 shakes. I NEVER thought I would get to this point. I will say also that seeing the scale drop every day feels like a personal victory.

Its funny, but I swear this forum lives in my brain!! Haha!!
This particular thread is perfect & just what I needed. I'm on day 3 of my preop shakes only diet.
I need to focus & remember that I signed up for this life style change.