Indigo1991

Sleevers aside, restaurants/food outlets serve the food the public wants. They have no health agenda, they are there to make money so they serve food that the majority will buy. So we need to speak up if we want something else on the menu because they will provide food if there are buyers .... How many of us complained about portion sizes pre-sleeve? Not me. So is it the restaurants' fault that I got fat eating everything they put on my plate? Em, nope. But I do speak up now by making more demands when I order. For example, when I eat fish, I ask for the smallest fillet they have - they are usually happy to do that as no one else wants it cos they are still demanding value for money in the shape of a huge piece of fish! I eat out 3/4 times a week and make polite requests almost every time so that I get the meals I need. At almost 5 months out, never had a problem with any restaurant doing what I have asked them. The smaller I have gotten, there seems to be a recognition that I must eat less so they seem to go along with that.

Have u tried eating dense protein first, then ur carbs? Turkey, tuna etc will fill u up better and take longer to digest. And the more u chew it, the more u will get in beyond taking just a few bites. That's helped me get more protein/food in and has kept my weight loss steady. Just a thought...

Day 3 I cried all day and wondered what the heck I had done to myself...the first few weeks are the hardest, you have recovery and a new normal to deal with all at the same time. The mental side is the biggest challenge - can I get my Water in? Am I taking enough Protein in?Am I moving enough? Can I do this for the rest of my life? It takes over your life for the first weeks but gradually, every day, things improve and you start to look outwards and beyond. I am four and half months out and the difficult first few weeks are fading in my memory. Life is good and my health is transformed beyond recognition. Just keep your focus on looking ahead - this too shall pass!

Dancing Queen by Abba, makes me dance and laugh every time. But if I need something to lift my mood, it's My Chemical Romance's I'm Not Ok, played loud enough to upset the neighbours, lol

This is a fantastic post, that will resonate with many of us on here. Thanks for posting, it hit a button with me today just as I was flagging.... But not any more!

I am in the process of clearing out every drawer and cupboard - this will culminate in tackling the attic before Christmas! I just didn't have the energy to spend long periods doing this before but I am finding it very therapeutic now that I have more time....

Yup, would crawl over broken glass to get to my surgery if I had to do it again. It was a bit like childbirth, painful at the time but the memory fades as the joy takes over, lol! Had one weepy day as hormones were all over the place and buyers remorse kicked in. But not regretted it one bit since. My health has improved significantly and I couldn't have done that without the help of my sleeve. Good luck!

Loopy, you hit the nail on the head with the passive-aggressive thing. It's like grasping sand - if I raise it, she will be offended as she will ask what has she said that was awful/wrong. So I will see how she reacts when she sees me on Tuesday... Madam Reverie, I have just stopped laughing but I don't disagree with a word you said - I just love the comment about watching my ass disappear in the mirror!!!! Humour usually works with most people but the more I read everyone's replies and think about the situation, the more I realise it's her problem not mine. I am going to carry on being me and if she can't cope with the changes in me, then she's not the girl I think she is. But I will speak up if any more is said. If it was anyone else, I wouldn't take the crap... Thanks for all the responses, feel better already about seeing her :-))))

Musiclover, no one can explain why my arthritis is in remission, the only explanation is the sleeve. I was on 25mg of methotrexate and 50mg of Enbrel a week. Post surgery, my consultant stopped the metho completely; he only wanted me to start the Enbrel in case the arthritis came back. We are discussing in Jan reducing it to a single injection a week. So, all I can say is that I had severe arthritis that was only being managed with two drugs in tandem and all that has changed :-) Miss Mac, omg, what a family history!!! If you need any further incentive to lose weight, keep the thought of a trip to Scotland to the front of your mind - you would love it. Let me know when you are coming :-)))) As for the sleeve, our bodies all react differently to it, but I couldn't be happier at my outcome. I hope you get the results you want when the time comes.

Thanks girls. Belladonna, you are right, think I need to tell her how I feel or it will affect our friendship. I think she's always seen me as the older, fat friend - and I am not that any more (ok, still old but hotter than before, ha ha!) As you say, Beach Lover, there are people who wish us well but can't handle it when we lose weight - that might be another reason for her behaviour. I suppose my sleeve is just my sleeve, it's now part of me along with the new way of eating. She just needs to adjust to my new normal and make it hers in relation to me :-)))))

This isn't a rant just an exasperated and frustrated letting off steam kind of thing, lol! My friend lives abroad, only seen her twice since I had surgery. Second time I was 35lbs down and her emails in the run up to seeing her all talked about me being a skinny minnie, not being called JLo any more as my butt had gone etc. I was calm and asked her not to say those things and that my surgery was important to me, it wasn't funny. She took it ok but had another dig about whether we should go out to eat because it was so difficult for me!!! But when she visited, my weight only came up when I raised it - she said nothing. But that was ok. Her dad died of diabetes and I felt she saw me finding a way of dealing with my diabetes when he didn't have that chance... Smacked of her believing I was taking the easy way out but I let it go. She's due back on Tuesday and after weeks of nothing other then nice emails, the last one was about where we would go to eat. I made a suggestion to which she replied "Godd choice, they serve mini meals (ie tapas) for mini people". I am sure she doesn't realise what she's doing but I don't want another evening feeling she is watching every bite but saying nothing about how well I have done. I don't want to fall out with her, we have been friends a long time, but she is the only person who makes anything of my surgery and actually makes me feel uncomfortable about it. Everyone else accepts that when we go out, I eat less. All suggestions gratefully received.... Or am I being too sensitive?

I had this surgery first and foremost to resolve my diabetes. I became diabetic after receiving huge doses of steroids closely followed by medication that had diabetes as a side effect. I had no pre diabetic period, I went from nothing to diabetic in the course of a few weeks after starting the new drug. The drug was to help with my arthritis. I was given the choice of stopping the drug and the diabetes would go. But I needed the drug to remain mobile so I didn't have a choice. But diabetes on top of my existing condition that needed additional management just pushed me towards depression. So I spent a year looking into the sleeve as a way of putting my diabetes into remission - that was my hope. But after my last tests, I have now been told that my doc wants to take me off the diabetic register completely (we have one in Scotland, where every health professional knows about your condition). My numbers have been consistently low and, as she told me, my random sugars are lower that most people's including hers! So apart from putting my arthritis into remission and losing weight since being sleeved, I have now achieved my health goal of no diabetes. Heard yesterday but been a bit dazed - can't quite believe it but am sooooo happy :-)))

Keea, u put ur finger on it - u r hurting and want the pain to go away quickly. But, as u know, food isn't the answer. It can feel like an anaesthetic but using it like that is what gets some of us to being overweight.... Distractions, like doing something, are good. But sometimes we just have to bear the pain and focus on where we r going. It's part of learning to keep food in its place - it's fuel for our bodies, not medicine for our minds. It's hard when we take away the easy fix - I was a comforter eater too - but u have achieved so much with ur weight loss. May have been with the help of ur friend but it was actually u doing it. If u keep posting here u will get lots of support while u work through this. Good luck!

Something I knew but seemed to forget in the first few weeks after surgery is that the excess weight wouldn't be gone overnight (took years to get here) and that weight loss isn't necessary constant - it stops and starts. Once I relaxed and remembered those things, sticking to the program got manageable.... Good luck, if u are asking this question, u r doing ur prep - and that's half the battle :-))))

Relax and stick to the program - you can eat too little which will stop weight loss so make sure you are eating what you can, drink your water and keep moving. Don't be despondent, it's only 2 weeks. Probably took time to put the weight off, will take time to get it off. Our bodies all react differently to the surgery - just keep breathing, it will happen for you...

Think what the posts here show is that for some, weighing too often is unhealthy as it is a form of addiction that controls them. But for others, it is just another tool that helps them manage this journey. All I can say is that we are all on our own journeys running on parallel lines. What works for me won't necessarily work for anyone else. But what the responses show is that you are never alone, there's always someone who's having a similar journey and just hearing that helps. There's no right way of doing any of this...

SueJH is right, there's nothing you can do to stop the hair loss but the Biotin, Protein etc ensures that new hair comes thru quickly and in good condition. My hair loss started around 3 months and continues 6 weeks later. As we are always told, there's no such thing as a free lunch - so I always thank my hair for its sacrifice as it swirls down the plug... Due to my improved diet, what I have has never looked shinier or healthier. Stay calm, stress doesn't help :-) I got Toppik online which is Keratin fibres (what ur hair is made of) that match ur hair colour. U puff it into the roots and it creates the impression that u have more hair than u do. Doesn't blow away and washes out, no one can see it. I am pretty pleased with the result, feel I can get thru with this :-)))

What might help is dense Protein - chicken, tuna are two that are high in protein and difficult to eat a lot of cos they fill you. And that makes it hard to get too many carbs in. Protein and Water are what will get you losing weight .... and moving about. :-)))) You sound a bit defeated and maybe a bit scared? Bet you are not the worst post-op person and please don't say you are failing, you just need some help. If you do speak to your doc, he or she can't tell your mom (unless you are younger than I think you are) and I think you need to share your feelings with them. Would telling your mom get you more support? Are you getting a therapist soon? Don't think you are alone or that you are messing up. This is a tough surgery, it messes with your hormones and your head. In the circumstances, you are doing the best you can - but you need to speak up and get more help to get you through this time. Let us know how things go in the next few days...

GG, irrespective of weight loss, you are already a major success - you have raised a son who's thoughtful, bright and sensitive! Having spent a lifetime stressing about everything weight related (but rarely saying anything out loud so I always felt like a pressure cooker about to explode), losing weight steadily seems to have brought more of a calm. Four months out and I can actually forget to weigh myself. It's a great feeling of relief and release :-)))) We need to put down the sticks many of us use to beat ourselves with - whether it's the tyranny of the scale, the need to compare our weight loss/food intake/exercise habits with others or just because the voice in our head says "are you sure you can really do this?". You're doing great, stick with it.

As ever, everyone's body is different. It may be a day or two, it may be longer depending on how your body reacts to surgery etc. I was looking after myself fine during the day when I got home but having someone around was nice, especially on day 4 when I got hormonal and weepy. If he takes more days and you don't need him, can he go back to work? Better that than sitting alone needing help or support :-)

Arts, agree re eating without any relationship to hunger. However, what the sleeve has done for me is allow me, at 52, to learn what empty and full feels like! And that is probably more useful to me in knowing when to eat and how much to eat. At the moment, "hungry" feels like a redundant term for me - but that may change in time :-)

Lol, congratulations on your weight loss and your new view of being full :-) We are all conditioned In different ways to food and our behaviour around it. It is so ingrained, we can't always see it. If we are lucky, there's a "eureka" moment and suddenly we understand that x,y or z was a problem after all. The sleeve can be that moment. I ate too much, not because I needed it, but because I was filling a hole in me that food was never going to fill. Getting a grip of my eating and learning to eat for fuel, rather than comfort, has let me look at why I ate the way I did and deal with those issues. Good luck in keeping saying "no"!!! I now happily throw food out with no sense of guilt - it makes me feel good that the hold has gone, lol

What's a girl to do? Get the checklist out and see where you are - are you drinking enough Water? Are you getting enough Protein? Are you moving enough? It is also entirely possible it's a stall... Don't let the PA's attitude get to you. I know in the past I was guilty of allowing other people get me down with their behaviour. But you have done a great thing for yourself in getting sleeved. It is very early days, be kind to yourself, don't beat yourself up and keep your eyes on the prize - stick with the program, which is hard when you are on purée but this will pass. This is all about you and no-one else - and you can do it. Keep plugging on and show them when you go to your 3 month check that you've got this.... Good luck! :-)

There is definitely hope! I had my first date in 33 years six weeks ago and survived - everything is possible, lol!

I hope when you look back, it will be because you want to remember the time your life really changed for the better - and that the reasons won't matter any more :-) Hold your head up, it's not easy now but it does get better. My ex husband and I split 3 years ago after 30 years. Last Sept, we got back together secretly to see if we could make it work but he suddenly dumped me the month before my surgery in March this year, no explanation. Or reasons. So I went through surgery alone but I haven't looked back. I realised the strength I have and have been so grateful for my friends, who have stood by me through it all. Good luck to you, you are not alone... There are a few of us on the road with you x