Laura72

Annoying isn't it, we have just the one brain and yet, it tears us in two (sometimes more) directions.
You want to lose weight, of course you do or you wouldn't have started down this road.
But you want to eat and the less you're allowed or supposed to eat, the more you want to eat until you feel like to want to run along supermarket aisles stuffing it all into your mouth.
Lol, ok, maybe that's a little dramatic but what I'm saying is that you should tell the part of your brain that says you you can't do something to STFU and go away It may have won the battle many times before and it would win again if you go into your group on Monday and tell them you're finished.
It's like a bully, ignore them (in this case those negative messages) often enough and eventually, they will go away.
Also, work on being nice to yourself. If you think you might be depressed, go get something to help, it won't hinder your operation in any way (just check with your particular surgeon but I've never heard of anti-depressants being a problem).
If you have issues with self esteem, try and do one nice thing for yourself each day. Give yourself one nice message, they will soon build up and drown the negative stuff out, I promise :-)
Good luck to you whatever you decide. Lx

I have noticed something interesting. I dislike compliments about my weight, especially out of the blue and in real life. I think I liked them at first (the first 10-15 kg) because they validated that I really was changing. Now, 30 kg and over 6 months out, they are just unpleasant.
First it means that I was fat before and they noticed.
Second it means they are looking at me and noticing me for something besides my brain.
Third it means they are judging me and probably comparing me to themselves.
Fourth it means I am suddenly the focus of attention when something else should be (like the party, if it is at a party like last night).
Fifth, nobody is ever discreet. They practically shout it at the top of their lungs and then everyone nearby feels obligated to chime in.
I'm a manager with a successful team and a successful career. I have a lot to be proud of. At work I want to be known and admired for work. I don't want to be pigeon-holed into the "woman crowd" that worries about weight, makeup, and clothes all the time.
Also the number of people who have INSISTED quite loudly and persistently that I tell them exactly how I lost weight. Don't get me wrong, I have actually been quite open with my friends and especially obese people who ask. But some random male coworker from a different part of the company doesn't get to invade my business that way.
I know this is some mind of first-world problem and that in a year I might feel differently. But right now I just hope it starts slowing down and getting less obvious so I don't have to be on high alert for the Gushing Praise Posse, especially at work!
Am I the only one? I feel ungrateful even typing this.
Oh and don't even get me started on "How much more?" And "But you're done now, right?"

Highest Weight: 344
First doc appt weight: 327
Surgery Weight: 317
Current Weight: 258
Total weight Loss: 86 lbs
since surgery: 59 lbs
Progress... is Progress... am I a slow looser... I dont know...I know i feel really good about where Ive come so far... I purchased a XL shirt. I used to wear a 4 or 5xl shirt. I purchased a size 40 pants... Almost ready to go to 38... I was wearing a 46. Im rocking this sleeve. It hasnt been easy.... My fat mentality is still ever so present. I cant stop looking for validation from others... and I still make myself a regular plate from time to time. The difference is, I eat slower and when i reach my full point there is a lot of food on my plate and I get rid of it and it doesnt go into my mouth... haha... This is a game of self control. I have come to that realization. Its about Choosing to be different, eat different, live different and working to win... Its about refusing to give up. My workout routine is something i would never had guessed it would be. I run the brooklyn bridge (3.2 miles) 4-5 days a week. If i cant get to the bridge i am still commited to my 3.2 miles on those 4-5 days... and then 2-3x a week i do weight training in my home along with a 40 minute kickboxing routine which was on my on demand TV station.(Free) ... The object of the game is to win. Winning is subjective. I beleive that winning in this game is to change your life poisitively. I am not just looking at the scale (though I have been a slave to the scale at some point in this journey) I see me being ddifferent, approaching things differently and moving forward over and over again over any obstacle or mental breakdown. (especially during them stalls that are fucked up-excuse my language) But overall. I can say that this was the best decision ever, not only for me but for the people who i share it with. I am pretty open about my journey and Ive had a few people already start their process because they see mine. Paying it Forward!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Last but not least... Ive learned that when i want something that i shouldnt eat... like a burger, or a donut or something like that... HAVE IT!!!! and I can never eat all of it... and it happens rarely... But once in a while I give in.. and I dont have to beat myself up, or ever forgive myself for it.... Its OK... Its OK... For me... You have to choose for yourself, if that "give in" is OK for you every once in a while... It's all a choice...

"This morning my boyfriend said I think you are depressed. I looked at him and said, well my best friend has been limited/taken away from me.I can't stuff myself to numbness. food has been my best friend, my solace,my reward,my emotional rescue.So now what do I do? "
This hits the nail on the head. food had always been there when no one else was. It celebrated with me, mourned with me, and comforted me. I miss it....but I am glad I found the sleeve, working on it being my new best friend (surgery date 5/28).

Lunaya, thank you for opening this stream of diologue. I think the majority of us sleevers have a problem with food or we would not be here. You are open about it and this is going to help us all.
Since surgery I have been hiding in my den, I go out and exercise for 30 minutes every morning due to my dogs, otherwise I would not move. This morning my boyfriend said I think you are depressed. I looked at him and said, well my best friend has been limited/taken away from me.I can't stuff myself to numbness. Food has been my best friend, my solace,my reward,my emotional rescue.So now what do I do? Therapy came to me in a flash. But I have has over 18 years of therapy due to weight related issues, now it is time to use what I have learned. If you have not had therapy, please look at it as education, for that is all it is. Learning about yourself. Keep writing in this forum when you wnat to binge. I know we will all listen, it will help you, but also all of us. Losing 106 pounds is an amazing feat congratulations, and again thank you for addressing this concern.

Psychotherapy is best for us emotional eaters ,and just as others have said we didn't get this way over night. Depression and emotional eating have to be treated separate in order to be sucessful. So don't beat your self up just take it one goal at a time. No one said you have to have wls to loose 100 pounds by a certain date. This is not a race it is your life. So make better bad chocies if you can. I'm sure by now you probally feel better knowing that you are not alone. This is life its never going to be easy..... Take care and please keep us updated.

Sleeved 5/28
Starting weight 326
Date of surgery 301
Today 250

My date was May 28 and I'm down 25lbs. I am having dumping issues. Every smell makes me sick to the stomach. I'm in my puree stages and the food after I blend it looks like dog food and I get sick to the stomach. I can't eat anything. I'm desperately trying to get my Protein Shakes down without them coming back up. The only thing that is staying down is Water. Frustrated but I'm going make it!!!

Week 1 Clear Liquids: Crystal Light, sugar free popsicles, sugar free Jell-o, broth, Propel, de-caffeinated tea/coffee
Week 2 Full Liquids: Protein Drink, milk, greek yogurt (no fruit), blended Soups, thin oatmeal, cream of wheat, vegetable juice, thin applesauce, grits, hot chocolate, fudgesicles, pudding (all sugar free)
Week 3 Soft Foods: eggs, natural nut butters, soft baked fish (cod, tilapia, whitefish), mashed potatoes, low-fat soft cheeses (cottage, string, sliced), canned vegetables or fresh cooked to mush, canned fruit in own juice, bananas
Week 4 Soft Solid Foods: Canned tuna blended with mayo, seafood, egg salad, low Fiber cold cereals (ie Cheerios), crackers (Ritz, graham or saltine)
Week 5 Solid Foods: Thin shaved deli meat (chicken or turkey), Tofu, soft Beans, Soup (no beef), avocado, melons
Week 6 Solid Foods: Protein Bars, spinach, romaine or iceberg lettuce, high fiber cereals, brown rice, quinoa, stir fry vegetables, steam cooked frozen vegetables, whole wheat tortilla
Week 7 Solid Foods: Soft fruits without skin, ground meats (turkey, chicken, lean beef)
Week 8 Solid Foods: Moist baked chicken or turkey, soft cooked wheat Pasta, raw crunchy fruits and vegetables, nuts and seeds, kale, swiss chard, collards greens
Month 6: Steak and pork (ie: pork chop)

It's been a bit since someone posted so here goes. I was sleeved on June 28. So I'm out about 12 days. My first day was very very bad. I'm allergic to a lot of medications some of those are the ones they give you for vomiting. I vomited most all of the first day but slowly it got better. I was in the hospital for 2 days. I started walking in the hospital and have not stopped. I try to walk 1/2 to 1 mile every day. No matter what. I have not found a Protein Drink that i tolerate. I have tried a lot. I do my best to get Protein in with other foods. For the most part i do well with fluids. It is most definitely a change. I'm very happy that i had the surgery. When it got close to my surgery date I got very nervous but I'm glad i went ahead. I can see my future. A much more healthy and active future. As of now i have lost about 26 lbs. I hope everyone is doing well. Here is to the new and healthier us.

Hey everyone! I'm just checking in. I had a hectic morning but was determined to exercise....& I did. I also stuck to my plan of walking on both breaks. I was also able to update my Ticker to reflect a loss of another 2lbs!!! I'm happy as you can tell. I had a mini stall, so this is great. Now this next part is for those of you that understand....I just want to give Glory to God, because he wakes me up every morning & gives me the tools & strength to (day by day) make my goals & dreams a reality. I'm so thankful for having the opportunity to have the surgery.

Are you keeping track using any kind of spreadsheet? That helps me. Dr's orders for me are 24oz of protein fit into at least 16 oz of anything else. My spreadsheet is split by day, then by hour, in 15min increments. Pretty much every 15 min, I should be sipping on something (or Jello, sf popsicles etc), except sleeping. I try to get 20 ounces in before 2pm and 20 oz after 2pm. I was also sleeved on the 28th.

Just had my first pureed food tonight. I took some refried Beans, mixed in some greek yogurt and Chohula Sauce. Stirred it all together and scooped into muffin pans (purely for portion control). Topped with cheese and heated in the oven.
Yum! I really have missed savory flavors other than cream of chicken Soup : ) Cant wait to decide what to puree tomorrow!

I love white potatoes and cauliflower whipped together for mashed potatoes that would add some Protein. My kids think there is something wrong with the potatoes if the cauliflower is missing...

I've been experimenting with different Protein shakes.....I just tried:
Scoop of vanilla EAS whey Protein power
8 oz Silk light vanilla soy milk
A pinch of MIO orange/tangerine Water Enhancer
Put it in my Nutribullet
And OMG it's super duper YUMMY!! Like drinking a Dreamsicle milk shake!

I am a single sleever as well and I've always gotten attention. I think I am kind of used to it, and I am so thankful that I am getting sleeved a little older. I was quite slim until age 20, then gradually gained massive weight over 10 years. I was also married. The decision to lose weight was a catalyst for my divorce, unfortunately. I think moving my 6'/400lb mother in law in was a mistake for my health and my marriage.
I am kind of scared of the attention that I will get when I am a regular size again (regular being 18 and under). I've always gotten attention but that constant unrelenting attention that I got as a younger person or that I see my small friends have to go through scares the heck out of me.
I do not date for religious reasons but it's very uncomfortable when even the nurses in the hospital or the hospital valet people are like "Don't get pregnant." and "You're going to have to beat men off with a stick." Like, I don't even want to think about that! LOL. Even my doctor was pressuring me about birth control. I kept telling them "I won't be doing any of that until I get remarried". Such awkward conversations OMG.
I just got sleeved Thursday and the few people I let know are already saying that I am going to be mean or going to be a 'B' word when I get skinny. I lost about 120lbs before my surgery and people are saying I have changed, that I am different, etc. Most of these people were not in my life though when I weighed 135lbs LOL so they don't know I have always just been the same 'me'.
I would LOVE to hear what other people have experienced about this. Also, how do you deal with the paranoia of "Would they have liked me fat? What happens when they find out I had WLS? Would they leave me if they found out I used to be almost 500lbs?"
I plan to get married again ONE DAY, God willing but I'm so scared because I know attractiveness and physical fitness are huge factors that are considered when men look for wives.

You have to learn to listen to your body. Each person i have talked to that has the sleeve said that they have a tail. A sign that they are full. The key is to figure yours out. Mine is like a hiccup/burp. It took me a few days to figure it out. But i did. When that happens my sleeve is full. If i even try a litte bit more then im in pain. My sleeve and intestines make a lot of noise. It's my understanding that this is completely normal. I really don't think we will ever feel full like we used to. We have to re learn this also. Just try to listen to your body. One of my friends her nose runs when she is full. Another one hiccups.

If you are not religious, then this post isnt for you. One week before surgery I went to talk to my pastor. Like I said before, I was an emotional mess. I am a single mom to a 9 year old girl and didnt want to leave my daughter without a parent, especially due to an elective surgery! I told my pastor that and he said "Your death certificate has already been written. If May 21st is your day, it is your day. And whether you go into that operating room or not is not going to change the date on your death certificate." That really put it in perspective for me.
Again, no offense to anyone who is not religious.

It taste chalky like Phillips milk of magnesia... Lol

It does get better. I was sleeved on the 28th, and the first day was horrible. I stayed overnight from Tues to Wed. However, as soon as I was at my home, things were/are better. Tomorrow, I get 8oz of Protein to fit in to the daily routine of Clear Liquids.< /p>

The slippery slope
That is where I am right now 1.5 years out from surgery, down 90 pounds - well sometimes 90 sometimes 85. The miracle of the sleeve has done what it was supposed to do - it helped me to cut down on food intake, I choose food differently and never looked back.
Well now the newness has worn off - I eat a little of this and a little of that - test the waters on what I can and can't stand. For the most part I can eat everything I want; except for meat, salad and sausage. Do not eat anywhere near the amount of food I did two years ago, nor do I eat the amount I ate a year ago - which was very little.
I cheat - I don't want to but I have become bored with food again, my life is hectic so it is easier to eat out, I still never finish a full meal, always have a "to go" bag, but now it is a little eating more, a few fries off someone else plate, a lick of real ice cream.
....and drinking well at first I became one drink wonder, now I can pretty much keep up with the pack on a couple of vodkas without a problem, even tried a coors lite beer (which was not good). Drinking leads to eating and well we all know the drill.
I gained four pounds over the weekend of Memorial Day, I am not happy about it - this week I have tried to cut back the amounts of food again - push myself away from the table again. I must learn to love my sleeve enough not to stretch it, I must love myself enough not to travel down the slope.
I lived that life a while ago and didn't like it one bit - so I will try to go up the slope to the top where I feel my best.
Thanks for hearing me out old friends......

Lying in bed, waiting to be taken in. Nervous but looking forward to a new beginning...

Lying in bed, waiting to be taken in. Nervous but looking forward to a new beginning...

Lying in bed, waiting to be taken in. Nervous but looking forward to a new beginning...

Lying in bed, waiting to be taken in. Nervous but looking forward to a new beginning...