kckitty

Thanks for sharing....I too can relate. Thank you for putting it in words. By this time next year you will be heading in the right direction to connect with person you want to be.

You know that is the problem with the mentality of adolescence. At the time we are so naive and gullible to society’s unrealistic expectations and perceptions of beauty, that we fall into its grasp and let it alter any realistic notion of beauty that the people who love us instill into us (or SHOULD instill into us). I too am 5’ 7” and yielded a weight of 134, yet I felt like I was fat and disgusting. I was bulimic for so many years, OBSESSED with working out and eating the right foods. However, I often fell into these bouts where my love of food would take over and I would binge eat junk…only to throw it up later and feel utter disgust and repulsion. At one time my-then-boyfriend-now-husband wasn’t allowed to touch my stomach—even though it was flat!!!
I was an idiot. BIG TIME! The irony of the whole situation is that I feel more confident and sexy now as a big girl, than I ever did when I was thin. My perception of myself now, my need to be healthy for the sake of longevity and health reasons, and for the sake of my overall family’s health is why I too think I am ready to take this step.
Thank you for sharing Flutterby. I loved your story and I totally, completely, 100% relate.

I can very much relate to your story. The good news is before you know it...you'll be shrinking into that girl you were meant to always be. Best of luck

I hadn't though of the moisture angle. I initially assumed she meant the feeling of breathing in and it feeling like you're not getting any air. When I first put my mask on, if the unit is off, and I breath in, it feels like I have a plastic bag over my head. I suck in, but no air. It is a scary feeling if you're not expecting it. I yanked my mask off the 1st time it happened to me.

It takes some getting used to but considering the chance of NEVER waking up because your heart gives out in the middle of an apnea....I will take the mask. I use what are called nasal pillows on my CPAP so I don't have that huge mask just a chin strap and a strap that goes over the top and back of my head. As for "drowning" most CPAPs have settings for how much moisture it uses and puts into the "air" it sends into your nose....when I got mine, my whole face and pillow got wet....I learned really fast how to turn the moisture down....I can even go several days without the water chamber....but eventually the inside of my noise gets sore so I have to use it at least once in a while. I have found I cannot even take a nap or doze off without it now because I am so used to it. So Belladona, you might want to reconsider.....you would not have it if you did not have sleep apnea and the chance of NOT waking up.......plus as the others said you never realize how much your sleep is interrupted until you actually sleep well due to your CPAP/BiPAP, and wake up feeling so much better and more rested. Good luck with your decision though. :-)

I find out next week whether I need one or not. I'm not looking forward to sleeping with that noise and a mask on my face.
Thank you for the explaining the difference in the water. I never thought of that.

I've felt that "drowning" sensation a few times when I didn't have the machine turned on before I put on the mask. But I was over a year suffering from severe sleep apnea. I had to take caffeine pills daily to stay awake and never ever felt like I was awake.
I spent all my time off work, sitting at my desk feeling half awake and no amount of sleep would leave me feeling rested. It always felt like I had stayed up all night and I hit that 7am brick wall. The feeling that you'd give anything to go to bed right now. I had that feeling all the time.
So it was a big relief when I had my 1st nights rest with the CPAP. I felt so rested that I didn't care if I had to wear the mask. I don't feel completely rested now days, but it beats the old days when I felt that life wasn't worth living.

I have my surgery on March 11th as of today, I use a cpap machine at night and it has been a little over a year since I started using it. I am so hoping and praying that some point after my surgery I can get rid of the cpap machine. I thank God for it but at the same time I am sick of it. I see lots of people with cpap machines that are not overweight but I am still hoping anyway. Your picture is too funny, I know where you are coming from.

Just think.... maybe someday we can say good bye to our CPAP machines!!!

Dang, you're a power dumper!

funny! but I do relate!!

You should do your own research of course but it will take a full day and a half or longer for food you consume to go from "in" to "out". In other words, the poop you poop today is food you ate possibly yesterday or even the day before. Everyone is different though. This is an average.

Hilarious!!! As a formerly very-regular poo-er, I have to join in the commiseration regarding the Poo Monster. At one year out, I am regular again, I go every day, sometimes several times each day, but usually it's the jagged little marble things. But, like you, every now and then some smelly serpentine thing comes along. WTH??

Thank you for sharing your story. I felt the same way after surgery and simply drying my hair exhausted me. Each day is getting better...thanks for showing "determination in motion." It's motivated me to put on my walking shoes! Thank.

Sorry, just saw this. I have three pills I must take daily. Two of them, twice daily. They are small, and I take them one at a time, spacing them about 2-3 minutes apart. NO PROBLEM.

Glad to hear about your journey so far. I am scheduled the 24th. Did you have any issues swallowing the pills that soon after surgery?

I am pre-op, approved and waiting, chugging down liquid protein shakes. Can't offer much in the way of experience talking, but I wanted you to know that others are thinking of you and wanting this journey for you to be successful.
Think positive. How much easier it is going to be to walk, take care of the kids, and just move around in general. I can understand the tension. Have you tried the breathing techniques for relaxation? Have you been able to do anything just fun and relaxing for yourself? I took up knitting so that I would have something new to concentrate on, and that also keeps my hands busy.
You are in my thoughts, La mom!

I am pre-op, too. Day 10 of the liquid protein 14-day diet. As an older woman (60's) and married, I just want to tell you that you are the only one in your life who can make you happy. Concentrate on taking care of yourself. Get to know yourself. Find a therapist/counselor that you can relate with, and talk your head off. For depression, medication is sometimes needed.
I don't know that surgery itself will solve any problems. But the weight loss will allow you to more easily indulge in any activities that you enjoyed when you were thinner. What did you enjoy doing then? What made you happy as a child?
Try to take care of yourself in all ways: physically, socially, spiritually, intellectually. Indulge yourself in a massage, or taking a class, learning something new. These take you out of yourself and open you to the opportunities out there.

I am pre-op, too. Day 10 of the liquid protein 14-day diet. As an older woman (60's) and married, I just want to tell you that you are the only one in your life who can make you happy. Concentrate on taking care of yourself. Get to know yourself. Find a therapist/counselor that you can relate with, and talk your head off. For depression, medication is sometimes needed.
I don't know that surgery itself will solve any problems. But the weight loss will allow you to more easily indulge in any activities that you enjoyed when you were thinner. What did you enjoy doing then? What made you happy as a child?
Try to take care of yourself in all ways: physically, socially, spiritually, intellectually. Indulge yourself in a massage, or taking a class, learning something new. These take you out of yourself and open you to the opportunities out there.

I am pre-op, too. Day 10 of the liquid protein 14-day diet. As an older woman (60's) and married, I just want to tell you that you are the only one in your life who can make you happy. Concentrate on taking care of yourself. Get to know yourself. Find a therapist/counselor that you can relate with, and talk your head off. For depression, medication is sometimes needed.
I don't know that surgery itself will solve any problems. But the weight loss will allow you to more easily indulge in any activities that you enjoyed when you were thinner. What did you enjoy doing then? What made you happy as a child?
Try to take care of yourself in all ways: physically, socially, spiritually, intellectually. Indulge yourself in a massage, or taking a class, learning something new. These take you out of yourself and open you to the opportunities out there.

I am pre-op, too. Day 10 of the liquid protein 14-day diet. As an older woman (60's) and married, I just want to tell you that you are the only one in your life who can make you happy. Concentrate on taking care of yourself. Get to know yourself. Find a therapist/counselor that you can relate with, and talk your head off. For depression, medication is sometimes needed.
I don't know that surgery itself will solve any problems. But the weight loss will allow you to more easily indulge in any activities that you enjoyed when you were thinner. What did you enjoy doing then? What made you happy as a child?
Try to take care of yourself in all ways: physically, socially, spiritually, intellectually. Indulge yourself in a massage, or taking a class, learning something new. These take you out of yourself and open you to the opportunities out there.

I'm POSITIVE that I bought more than I'll actually need! In fact, I'm really HOPING I don't need half this stuff! However, I live alone. I'll be staying with my parents for a night or two after I'm discharged, but I definitely prefer to be in my own home so I'll be on my own within 3-4 days post op. I'll have to be prepared for anything and everything because I don't have anyone who lives with me that's available to run out and pick something up for me when I need it. I have my parents and plenty of friends to help, but I don't wanna be having diarrhea and trying to call someone to bring me imodium, ya know?
I just figured best to be safe than sorry!

Hang in there! I would say that a lot of the items that you think you might need, you may never need. My surgery actually got moved the day before so it was 2 weeks sooner than I was planning on, and I think it ended up being beneficial bc I didn't have that anxiety that comes with anticipation. The RD met with my husband and me and asked what things I had at home for post-op, and my husband said bottled water! LOL! He went to the store as soon as we got home and we just got a few things at a time as I needed them. Everything worked out fine.

Hi! Hang in there! I feel like a kindred spirit to you, and it helps to hear what you're going through. I'm getting ready to start pre-op diet Wednesday. I'm starting it a week early because I have a "fatty liver" and am very worried it might interfere with my surgery. Spent 1/2 hour in Costco yesterday staring at all the vitamins, looking for ones that meet the requirements. The ONLY thing that was right was the B-12. None of the chewable calcium seemed to be the right formula, and I couldn't find any chewable multivitamins except gummies. They told us in the pre-op class not to buy gummies. Today I'm headed to Wal-Mart for meal replacement shakes, more vitamin shopping, and other odds and ends. It does feel weird to be buying all this "stuff" -- a lot of it pretty unappealing -- that one never imagined needing. But like you, I want to be prepared. I don't want to come home from the hospital and be thrashing around trying to get something and not know where to get it.
I'll look forward to hearing how it goes for you! Like you, I believe it's going to get lots better. A summer of good change is ahead for both of us.

You are so young and so smart to have this done at your age. I am 66 and 4months out. I have lost 63 lbs that will never come back. I will be at goal when I loose the last 45 lbs coming soon. I have not been this low for 43 yrs. all the things I have missed in my life for all those years you will have it all.
It will be rough for a few weeks but time flies and before you know it you look in the mirror and see a thinner you. And if you have any medical issues they will improve also.
Best of luck to you and enjoy every moment of the journey.