jensjoy28

It's all trial and error. And boy do I know it if I drink too soon after eating.
Pasta doesn't sit well with me. One small bite and my meal is done. It sits like an uncomfortable brick. Just that one tiny bite!!! Even if its my first and only bite in a meal.
Fried foods hurt too.
I've had a lot of fun finding and creating healthier alternatives to my fave dishes that were less than stellar. That's a habit I started with Weight Watchers.
Oh, and beware of the Sleeve Authority!

I decided in the very beginning that I was going to be very open about what I was doing. I've always had a personal philosophy that it's usually better to be open about things (assuming you are the kind of person that can handle any negativity that decision might bring... it's definitely not the right decision for everyone) because you never know who might be struggling with the same problem and feel like some kind of freak or need someone to talk to about it and not know where to go. Being open about my surgery is already paying off in big ways, in my opinion. Benefitting myself in that I've been having some challenges, and it's much easier to miss work to deal with them since my boss and coworkers know exactly what's going on. There is no chatter in the background that I'm somehow taking advantage of our leave or FMLA policies. More importantly, though, the other day, a friend at work brought another one of our coworkers down to me to talk about what she's going through as she's trying to navigate all the decisions she needs to make as she decides to have bariatric surgery. I was really pleased that I was able to provide help and camaraderie to someone else that is going through this. I feel that being open about it was just the right decision for me, and it feels good that my being open might help someone else.

I have been extremely open. This is the best decision I have made FOR MYSELF and I refuse to let anyone make me feel anything but proud. This was a very empowering choice and I won't look at it any other way. I have no problem shutting down anyone's negative crap and not very many people have had anything bad to say about the surgery, more that I traveled to Mexico to have it done. I am always sad to read that people feel the need to hide it.

Ive been very open about my surgery and havent had anyone say anything negatively to me in any way! everyone in my life has seemed to be really supportive. And happy for me, anyone else open and feel good about it? I feel no shame or regrets or any doubt in my mind that this is what I want to do, and that im doing this for me.

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My belly button is retreating while my hip and collar bones are re-introducing themselves to me. I haven't seen my old friends since about 1995!!

I'm getting a lot of 2nd looks from men followed by a great grin at least once day.

Oops.... Forgot my stats
Sleeved 6/3/13
Starting weight: 344 (seriously I still can't believe that)
Current weight: 272
Starting size: 24/26 in pants and at least 3x in shirts
Current sizes: 18/20 pants and 1x/2x tops!! Even bought an XL top the other day!!!!!!!!

I feel them. For the first time, in....idk, EVER. But I'm conflicted. I'm not sure if I like them all. The jaw bone, collar bone, wrist and ankles are much appreciated. But this pelvis I've never felt seems absolutely obnoxious. Along with these hip bones...that seem to get sharper as the weeks go by....I'm grateful that walking seems so graceful and effortless...but I am definitely afraid that these bones are now unprotected and extremely vulnerable. And....Sometimes I miss my fat, and my stomach, and various Fativities like eating in bed, buffets, and food comas. Idk. All of this is just so strange! Lol. I guess I'll adjust.
Sleeved: 6/14/13
Starting weight: 273
Current weight: 226

A chance to do things that were quite simply out of reach before....
hike to the top of a mountain, riding a small endurance horse, traveling comfortably, walking everywhere - living life to the fullest
(click on my profile if you want to see my before pic)

That's what I'm wondering. Haha! I guess you have to do what you have to do! Thanks!

I just spewed my tea laughing at this

Today I went to the playground with my kiddo and the playground in our neighborhood has one of those spiral slides. Before today I was never able to even think about going down the slide with her. Today that all changed. She asked me to go with her and I was like eh what the heck lets see what happens. Went down that slide with no issues!!! Made me so happy to do things like this with her!

Ok so I searched for "stall" and came to this...thank goodness. However, I am only 18 days post op and I haven't lost a pound in 5 days!! I have, as you can see, lost 22 lbs. But when your trucking along losing a pound a day...then nothing...well, I just don't like it! Not looking forward to losing my hair either. Everyday I get up and weigh, crossing my fingers and it's the same....exactly the same weight as the day before! Frustrating! I mean really? I'm only eating 500-600 calories a day...why oh why can't I lose??? Ok. Thanks for letting me vent...

Ok, I'll admit it...I had a little judgment for the posters who panicked the first time they had a stall and came to the site posting a) as if they were the first person to stall and immediately looking for a "quick fix" to break the stall........that was until I had my first stall. (It was easy to be smug when the scale was dropping regularly).
Then, two weeks ago at 4 mos. post-op, I hopped on the scale for a few consecutive days and the number didn't go down (hmmpf). Then, for a few more days, it went up (whoa, what's the big idea, let's go back to just not going down). This went on for two weeks, and I admit that I experienced many of the same thoughts that others before me had said..."what if this is it?" "What can I do to jump start things?" "Was I too cavalier during the honeymoon phase and now I'm not going to progress as far as I want?", and on, and on, and on.
What I take comfort in is that as the thoughts were swirling in my head, I was able to (fairly) effectively counter the negative self-talk and self-doubt and not obsess constantly, and plow forward with my plan. And, true to the experiences of countless others before me, this morning, after two weeks, I have broken the stall and have a new, lower number on MFP...and, like many others, the duration of the stall and the "catalyst" for it to break are mysterious, and in some ways, seemingly paradoxical. So, I will tuck this experience away and try to reference it when this happens again, and hopefully improve on the mental side so I spend even less time with self-doubt...all part of the journey. :-)

This whole weight loss journey has been way "bigger" than losing weight for me. I have shared many self discoveries, new found interests, made new friends, had new adventures and a terrific new wardrobe.... really in some ways a new life....
What has been a more recent discovery for me is understanding in a deeper way the role the food and weight played in my life... for decades. I have read on these forums people who get very emotional over the food deprivation post surgery, but I did pretty okay with that. I had a few "binge attacks" or emotional eating episodes, but in general, I have done really well with all that. i didn't miss overeating, I didn't miss favorite foods, I really was just "over it" - felt I didn't get much pleasure from using food as recreation anyway. At the time, I chalked it up to be really ready for the surgery and the lifestyle changes, now I am thinking about it a little differently.
I just returned from an 8 day vacation with all restaurant food and a goodly amount of "partying" ie drinking, and maintained my weight. It helped that we walked a TON (NYC, Philly and DC - lots of walking). I also kept portions tightly under control and skipped Desserts, and only had "good food" no junky fast food. enjoyed what I ate and drank and didn't do it in too much excess. Amazing restaurant food just isn't that amazing quite frankly. It was fun, but i don't need it in my daily life. More importantly, as soon as i got home i did a fast day and hit the working out again immediately. I feel really good about that, a confidence boost, like I don't need to be afraid, i can function even when off my normal routine and then i am confident I can get back on my routine.
what has been unexpected in a negative way is how much being numbed by obesity and overeating (I think they BOTH played a role in numbing me) and now that it I don't have that shield, how much anxiety I experience. I don't mean social anxiety, public speaking or big fears, more like just that nervous energy like "too much caffiene" or something can give a person. It is an unpleasant feeling and i believe that food used to dull it and I really self medicated myself with food. I am wondering if under that mountain of fat i was always anxious and just didn't know it. I remember that when I was 22 I got down to a normal weight and i about blew a gasket emotionally, but I didn't have the maturity or support to really understand it... and I regained weight so fast I never had a chance to work through it.
I am basically a happy person, and yes i do see a therapist, and my day to day life is just awesome.... but man sometimes i feel like a spring that is wrapped just toooooo tight. Exercise helps, riding my horses help, spending time with good friends helps... lots of things help but, it keeps popping its ugly head. I now need to find a way to cope with this underlying anxiety without using "drugs" (prescribed or self medicated of any kind either). Ultimately, I hope to reach the point where I don't need coping mecanisms (like exercise) and that the inner wound up feeling just is no longer a daily part of life.
The timing is bad to try to solve this now because i am 4 weeks from plastic surgery and in a full on freak out mode about that... so I am pretty sure that I do not have an immediate solution.
My counselor encourages me to mediatate daily and to also accept anxiety, learn to tolerate it, and not be afraid of the anxiety itself being a first step to reducing it. In dealing with the surgery, she has given me permission to "check out" and do a few things that I have done in the past... and I am trying to follow her advice. To give myself permission to be a little crazy if I need to...lol. I have a month to go and on a daily basis the anxiety is amping up so i am concerned.... but i think this is part of the journey of self discovery.
Maybe what surprises me the most is that I am nearly 2 years out, been at goal since Feb 2013 and am only now really seeing this as being related to my weight and eating. hhhmmmm... that couple of years of talk therapy I did many years ago (in my late 20s) I did to solve my eating problems (back when I thought it was all in my head and not largely a physical problem) this whole possibility was never pointed out to me either.
(and please don't tell me my anxiety is because i am not ready for plastics, that isn't the case. the anxiety has a life of its own, I WANT to do plastics, I have researched the crap out of it and am excited about it too. I think it is just the anxiety focal point and trigger right now.)

Ok, I'll admit it...I had a little judgment for the posters who panicked the first time they had a stall and came to the site posting a) as if they were the first person to stall and immediately looking for a "quick fix" to break the stall........that was until I had my first stall. (It was easy to be smug when the scale was dropping regularly).
Then, two weeks ago at 4 mos. post-op, I hopped on the scale for a few consecutive days and the number didn't go down (hmmpf). Then, for a few more days, it went up (whoa, what's the big idea, let's go back to just not going down). This went on for two weeks, and I admit that I experienced many of the same thoughts that others before me had said..."what if this is it?" "What can I do to jump start things?" "Was I too cavalier during the honeymoon phase and now I'm not going to progress as far as I want?", and on, and on, and on.
What I take comfort in is that as the thoughts were swirling in my head, I was able to (fairly) effectively counter the negative self-talk and self-doubt and not obsess constantly, and plow forward with my plan. And, true to the experiences of countless others before me, this morning, after two weeks, I have broken the stall and have a new, lower number on MFP...and, like many others, the duration of the stall and the "catalyst" for it to break are mysterious, and in some ways, seemingly paradoxical. So, I will tuck this experience away and try to reference it when this happens again, and hopefully improve on the mental side so I spend even less time with self-doubt...all part of the journey. :-)

Ok, I'll admit it...I had a little judgment for the posters who panicked the first time they had a stall and came to the site posting a) as if they were the first person to stall and immediately looking for a "quick fix" to break the stall........that was until I had my first stall. (It was easy to be smug when the scale was dropping regularly).
Then, two weeks ago at 4 mos. post-op, I hopped on the scale for a few consecutive days and the number didn't go down (hmmpf). Then, for a few more days, it went up (whoa, what's the big idea, let's go back to just not going down). This went on for two weeks, and I admit that I experienced many of the same thoughts that others before me had said..."what if this is it?" "What can I do to jump start things?" "Was I too cavalier during the honeymoon phase and now I'm not going to progress as far as I want?", and on, and on, and on.
What I take comfort in is that as the thoughts were swirling in my head, I was able to (fairly) effectively counter the negative self-talk and self-doubt and not obsess constantly, and plow forward with my plan. And, true to the experiences of countless others before me, this morning, after two weeks, I have broken the stall and have a new, lower number on MFP...and, like many others, the duration of the stall and the "catalyst" for it to break are mysterious, and in some ways, seemingly paradoxical. So, I will tuck this experience away and try to reference it when this happens again, and hopefully improve on the mental side so I spend even less time with self-doubt...all part of the journey. :-)

I felt the same about stalls and hair loss... You even know WHEN to EXPECT it... But for some reason it's still surprising and traumatic!

This made me smile, because I could have written it! I am at 4 months and just getting over my first stall too. It lasted over 2 weeks and I realized how scary they really are. I've been lucky that I had been dropping steadily, but I didn't realize how lucky until this stall hit me. I went on vacation last week and didn't have access to a scale (I was surpised that not weighing daily made me panic a bit!), but when I got back and could finally weigh myself, I was down again. I attribute this to how active I was on the beach. Walking in sand is a real workout!

Oh I can SO relate! I thought all those complaining about it were "whiners" who were "panicking" for "no reason"! Didn't they read all the millions of posts?! What made THEM so special?!
What a humbling experience. I was a whiner who panicked with very good reason it seemed to me, and I hated it! And I was SURE i was special and was going to get rich because i would be a medical marvel whom everyone would pay to study--the woman who got sleeved, did everything right and still couldn't lost weight! I would be rich--but very fat still.
I take back all my impatience, all my irritation, and all my not-so-charitable thoughts. It's all fun and games...until it happens to you.