madeformore

Thanks blackie220! Well... there isn't anything I can do for at least 8 weeks. So I'll get through the 8 weeks and go from there. I wish you amazing success with your new sleeve! I appreciate your encouragement!

I had replied to this post early in the thread. I was scheduled for May 7. I went in for the surgery, but the surgeon cancelled the proceedure when he saw that my stomach was too red and inflamed. (I would rather have a cancelled proceedure than complications.) So... I'm adjusting... This is definitely not what I was expecting. I will have a re-check in 8 weeks. Right now I'm not sure whether or not I will continue efforts to have the surgery. It took everything for me to show up for the surgery and to have it not happen was rough. For now, at least, I will continue my weight loss journey without surgery. Best wishes to all of you May sleevers!

I just wanted to come back and post an update. Only one person replied, but a few people have looked at it... My surgery was scheduled for May 7. I really never felt that I 'should' or 'should not' have the surgery. I went to all the appointments, did well on the six week pre-op diet my doctor required, and did everything else I was supposed to do. I went in for my surgery appointment. Everything went really fast once I arrived, and I was glad for that. Next thing I know I'm waking up from anesthesia, very grateful that I made it through the surgery. A few minutes later my husband was telling me that the surgeon did not perform the surgery. On the initial scope he found that my stomach was too red and inflamed and he told my husband that could prevent proper healing, so he had to call off the proceedure. A biopsy later confirmed gastritis. (I'm glad the surgeon made the decision he did. It might be difficult for me, but I would rather that he end the proceedure than proceed and have complications.) He had seen redness on my initial scope and put me on prilosec, but it still didn't work out. I think the stress and anxiety I had prior to the surgery caused the inflamation. At first I was happy I didn't have the surgery but then I realized I would have to go back into decision making mode about what to do now. That was hard and depressing for about a week. Now I have a plan and an accountability partner. I might still end up having the surgery once the gastritis has gone away... or I may not... I don't know, yet... But either way my main question - After working on a lot of my emotional issues that have gotten me into the position of 'needing' surgery, could I do it now without the surgery - will be answered. I'm thankful for that. Best wishes to everyone!

Hi It's Dawn again... just checking in. I overcame my fears enough to go to the hospital, and get ready for the surgery. I was anesthetized, but the surgery was not performed. The doctor found too much redness in my stomach by scope, to continue with the surgery. They are talking about 8 weeks from now... but I'm not sure I can go through all of this again. Today I'm thinking this was my closed door and I can be good with that. Wow! What a process! I've learned a lot about myself and I've grown is so many ways. For now, I will be continuing my weight loss journey without surgery. Best to everyone!

Wow! Amazing difference! So glad things are going well for you! I hope they go as well for me! Congrats to you! You must be thrilled!

Tink 12/26, I'm glad you are able to put workds to the pain you are felling. I am sorry you are in theis pain, but being able to voice it and experience it is the best place to start. If you are like me, the pain you are talking about now, is the poain that has been there for so long... but you have avoided feeling it by eating a lot of food. I'm pre-Op, but I have tried to do as much work as I can to try to understand how and why I got to the place that I need surgery. For me, it all has to do with pain - emotional pain - that I have avoided dealing with and very low self esteem. All of my life I have turned to food for comfort - it worked in the short term, but hurt me more in the long run. I thought I could find comfort in my marriage, and while my marriage isn't the same as yours, it has not brought the nurture and comfort I longed and hoped for. FINALLY, I'm learning that I started down the wrong path looking for comfort. The only place I can find the comfort I so long for is in God and His amazing love for me. Along with counseling, 3 books that have helped me on my road to emotional recovery have been Changes That Heal, Hiding From Love, and How We Love. If there is anything here that you would like to chat more about, please feel free to send me a personal message. Hugs to you!

Hi cerenatee, I just wanted to come back and post my progress. For me, deciding to have surgery in the first place was a roller coaster. I finally got off that rollercoaster when I decided to have the surgery - but that just meant getting onto a different rollercoaster! I went trhough a couple of weeks where I was very fearlful and undecided, but I kept moving forward - stayed on my pre-op diet and continue going to all the appointments. I'm doing better now. I have started to focus on the things that weight loss will allow me to do, that I can't do now. Also, I struggled with the question if I was changing the journey that maybe I needed to take without surgery. Now I'm looking at surgery as closing the door on a life that has become unacceptable to me. (I of course I know the results are still up to me, but I'm taking permanent action to not live this way anymore.) My limited obese life had been acceptable to me for far too long. When I look at the progress I've made to this point, I feel sorry for my old self, that I could not have climbed out of the hole that trapped me into thinking it was OK to live like that sooner. BUT! I'm thanksful I'm not trapped there anymore! And I am proud of myself for working my way out of that hole and facing a new, unknown future. Thank you again for starting this thread. I needed it, right when you posted it. My surgery is less than 1 week away, and I'm as ready as I will ever be. Dawn

The roller coaster of emotions BEFORE the has been amazing to me! I've been doing better the past few days, calming down somewhat as the day gets closer and closer. Maybe all of this is to prepare us for the roller coaster of emotions that will probably happen AFTER the surgery! Best wishes to everyone!

Oh! Wow... incredible! Your must be so thrilled! Congratulations! THANK YOU SO MUCH for posting this! My surgery date is coming up and I have been struggling with fear and doubt! I'm planning to push through and go ahead with the surgery - but your post, your pictures, and your testimony are all such an encouragement to me! You hit on some of the exact issues that I have been struggling with spiritually! You and I don't know each other, but God just used you to touch my heart and encourage me. I so appreciate you sharing!

Teresa! You have made my week! Thank you for your reply - I so appreciate it, I really can't tell you. I can't believe our surgery data is the same! That is amazing! Thank you for sharing with me. In the last two years I've been doing a lot to work on my 'issues' and I've learned that, for me, my extra weight is a direct result of pain that I have not dealt with in my life. That pain has cause me to seek out comfort - and for me, from the time I was a young child, I found my comfort in food. As an adult and a growing Christian, I know that I need to turn to God for the comfort I need, but with those bad habits established so young, it is easier said than done. I feel like I am at a new place with food after all this emotional work I have been doing and sometimes I feel like maybe I should try again to address my weight issues and lay it all out before God and seek Him. But, I'm starting to look at the surgery as a 're-start' a chance to start my relationship with food over and this time doing it with God. As another friend on VST reminded me, God is constant, but I never will be. I have to God to God for comfort and view food only as fuel for my body. Well! I am going to send you a personal message! I am so glad you responded! I look forward to getting to know you better and going through recovery 'together'!

6 MONTHS?! Wow.... That gives me hope! You rock! Thank you for posting!

Hey mamamareli I have two small kids, too - they are my biggest motivation! Cerenatee I have to thank you again, you are getting your focus back in the right place. I have been really scared - for about a week. Yesterday was another moment of making the decision, again, to move forward with the surgery. Last night my daughter was running around the car parked in the driveway, while I was walking and playing with her. I enjoy my time playing with her, but I just kept thinking, I want to run with her! That is the reason I am on this path. I am confident in my surgical team and hospital. I have to move forward understanding there may be complications - I will pray that everything goes well, but try to have the attitude that I will take things as they come. I want to RUN with my kids! I was to ride rides at Disneyland with them. I'm not going to continue to allow my weught to prevent me from being the mom I want to be! I guess this emotional rollercoaster is normal in the days and weeks leading up to surgery. I think it is important that we share that, though, so people know it isn't just smooth sailing up to the day of surgery. Best wishes and prayers for each of you ladies!

Wow.... You have been through so much. I cannot even imagine. I agree with others - it's important that you share your story here. We know the complications are rare, but rare doesn't mean anything if YOU have to go through them. I'm sorry that you have gone through this - and I'm so glad you made it! My prayers are with you for your continued recovery.

SO HAPPY FOR YOU!

Congrats to you!