Carlene

Well...they WERE all written by high school students. This was probably the best some jock could come up with.

YES! And a couple more from the same source as poor McBride. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

Me, too!!! Me, too!!!

Those ARE similies, Sue. Thanks for pointing that out. The original contained both similies AND analogies, and since I only used the similies, I should have changed the title. Just downright laziness on my part! Sorry to confuse you!

It takes me about 15 pounds to go down one size. I'm short (just under 5 feet), so I don't know if that applies to everyone or not. I was 227 on the day of surgery and wore 18/20 jeans (very tight). Now I wear 2/4 jeans at almost 100 pounds lighter.

I belong to an online group for writers. A poster found these on the web; the "worst analogies ever", taken from high school essays. They cracked me up. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable Soup. Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease. The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer with no Cling Free.

In Texas you get a fixed percentage. I think it's 16% of the non-custodial's net for one child. I have never been divorced, but my youngest son has a child born out-of-wedlock and that's what he pays, plus he has to carry health/dental insurance on him. I think $600 per month sounds about right - maybe a tad low. Sometimes when they give you a generous up-front settlement the custodial parent agrees to less CS for a specific time - say, $400 per month for 3 years, then it goes to $600 or $650. Also, in Texas, I think you would be entitled to part of the proceeds of the sale of the house. I don't know about your state, however. Have you consulted an attorney?

Most of them LOOK like hangers!

Maybe ex-wives/girlfriends had something to do with it. Or mothers-in-law?

No....North Richland Hills - never heard of Leona. My surgeon was Dr Adam Smith, one of the best in my book. He has a great personality/bedside manner AND he's one of us - a BANDSTER.

Another Texas girl here! Right smack dab between Dallas and Ft Worth. We're a nutty bunch, but welcome to our tree. PS...ya gotta love GRITS (Girls Raised In The South)

You may be surprised to know that women were responsible for inventing all of the following: the circular saw, the signal flare, the space suit, the bulletproof vest, and the windshield wiper. You're welcome.

MADRID, Spain - Spain’s top fashion show has turned away a slew of models on grounds they are too skinny — an unprecedented swipe at body images blamed for encouraging eating disorders among young people. Organizers of the pageant, known as the Pasarela Cibeles, used a mathematical formula to calculate the models’ body mass index — a measure of their weight in relation to their height — and 30 percent of the women flunked, said the Association of Fashion Designers of Spain. The association said Friday it wanted models at the show running from Sept. 18-22 to project “an image of beauty and health” and shun a gaunt, emaciated look. The decision was made as part of a voluntary agreement with the Madrid regional government, said Jesus del Pozo, a designer who is part of the association, said Thursday. Last year’s show, also called Madrid Fashion Week, drew protests from medical associations and women’s advocacy groups because some of the models were positively bone-thin. 'Mirrors for many young women' This time the Madrid regional government decided to intervene and pressure organizers to hire fuller-figured women as role models for young girls obsessed with being thin and prone to starving themselves into sickness, said Concha Guerra, deputy finance minister of the regional administration. Fashion shows, Guerra said, “are mirrors for many young women.” Del Pozo said this was the first time skinny models have been snubbed at a major international fashion show. Ryan Brown, director of marketing and public relations in North America for the Elite modeling agency in New York City, agreed. “It is very unprecedented,” said Brown, who has nothing to do with the Spanish show. He welcomed the decision, saying “I think it is great to promote health.” Madrid’s show, which features mainly Spanish designers, is not as prestigious as catwalks in Paris or Milan but “it is not at the bottom of the pile,” he said. Hoping to change the industry The impact of rejecting skinny women would have been greater at those other glitzier venues. Still, he said, “I am sure the industry is taking note.” The body mass index is a tool for doctors who study obesity. It is calculated by dividing weight in pounds by height in inches squared, and multiplying that total by 703. If the resulting number is between 18.5 and 24.9, the person’s weight is normal. Below 18.5 they are underweight. In the case of the Madrid show, organizers rejected women with indices under 18. Brown of the Elite agency said fashion shows reflect the tastes of clothing designers, who for now prefer the Kate Moss look as opposed to the curvier dimensions of models such as Cindy Crawford in years past. “They don’t want voluptuous girls any more,” he said. “It would be nice if fashion got back to that.”

I eat normal food in very small portions. We eat out a lot and one of my favorite places is Market Street (it's a lot like Whole Foods). I have 1/2 of a slice of prime rib (about 6 oz) and nothing else. Fills me up for hours. At traditional restaurants I usually order off the appetizer menu. A skewer of broiled shrimp is a good meal for me. I can't eat potatoes, rice, Pasta, pizza, breaded foods, etc. salad is iffy. For lunch I often eat tuna right out of the little foil pouch, with a few crackers. I guess variety does suffer somewhat because I have to work to get in my 65 grams of Protein every day. Sometimes I miss the veggies, as I just don't have room for them at most meals. In the winter I make veggie Soup or veggie beef soup, and put everything thru the food processor prior to cooking. It is the epitome of good, healthy eating.

http://www.allerganandinamed.com/products/obesity/us/patient/patient.html Choose surgeon locater, on the left side of the screen. Good Luck!

I too vote for swelling. This could be a sign of things to come, so take it easy when you start mushy and solid foods. Some people swell easier than others, and continue to do so. I am almost 2 years post-op and when my emotions run high, my band swells. Yesterday, for example, I kept NOTHING down after my DH said something that upset me and hurt my feelings. I tried Wendy's chili, then some soup, then, in a fit of self-pity, I ate some Cheetos and, later, about 1/2 cup of M&Ms. It all came back up. This morning I am nursing a cup of hot tea and so far, it's working out fine. For me, this is just part of being banded. For others, it doesn't happen at all, or happens to a much lesser degree. That's the thing you will find about the band - it is a totally individual experience.

I suppose it's always a "danger" but not something that will absolutely slip your band. I vomited - dry heaves, anyway - just hours after I was banded and it didn't damage anything. I have a VERY touchy tummy/band and my band will tighten up like a virgin on prom night if I get the least bit upset. My DH is constantly apologizing because he said/did something that kept my dinner from staying down. On the lighter side, he told me he was going to buy me a banana split, then talk bad about my family. That way, he would have to eat it for me. He's banded too and the amazing thing is, we dont spit up the same foods. He can eat noodles and I can't. I can eat prime rib and he has major trouble with it. Same with boiled shrimp...it's on my menu, but not his.

Make that wonderful, gorgeous, sexy women.

Four weeks, and believe me, I was ready.

I had the liquid Lortab, too. It tasted AWFUL. For less severe post-op pain, try adult strength liquid Tylenol or Excedrin melt-in-your-mouth tabs. I have also used the chewable Tylenol for older children and double the dosage. PS...the Tylenol liquid tastes yuk too, but it works great, and very fast!

I agree with Julie. I think it's unusual to actually get "stuck" (like a cork in a bottle), but food bits that are a little too big can be painful going thru the stoma. The Mexican chip things feel like ground glass going down to me, so I don't eat them. My DH got truly stuck on a blueberry - just the right size and shape to jam the little hole. It took hours for it to go thru, or come back up - I don't remember which route it finally took.

Discrimination is alive and well. You can only hope that the smug little twit falls through a crack in the sidewalk on her way home - never to be seen or heard from again.

Babs... I'm truly sorry to hear about this latest turn of events. Nothing like smacking us when we're already down, huh? I worry all the time about the various complications: slippage, esophagus dilation, etc. Does the dilation cause more problems, or can you just choose to live with it?

The bowl I mix my homemade cheesecake in!